A Massive Pain In The Ass - 5/6 [Little Sh*t Part 10]

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Kirishima cracked the door open to peek inside, surprised to find Izuku’s eyes open this time, Katsuki’s still soundly closed as he slumbered peacefully. Unfortunately, that peaceful face was resting directly on top of Izuku’s little belly, and Kirishima groaned internally. Poor baby was getting crushed, no wonder he was awake.

When he stepped a little closer, though, he saw the bright, beaming smile on Izuku’s lips – parted slightly to let out little giggles as he patted Katsuki’s spiky hair. It was the happiest Kirishima had ever seen him, just ruffling Katsuki’s hair and watching it bounce back up where he pushed it down, so clearly the weight resting on him wasn’t causing him too much harm.

Katsuki mumbled something in his sleep, stretching out a little and rolling further over, draping himself over Izuku’s little body and getting a delighted little chirp out of him for the cuddles.

“Hey, Izuku,” Kirishima whispered, sitting down beside him. “You getting lots of good hugs from your Kacchan?”

“Ka!”

“Yeah, he’s a good boy.”

Finally Izuku’s movement managed to jostle Katsuki awake, and Kirishima gave him an apologetic look as his eyes blinked open blearily, Izuku’s little hands already reaching for him.

“Morning ‘Zuku,” he mumbled. “Spiky.”

“Morning Kacchan,” Kirishima chuckled. “Feeling nice and rested? Or do you want to nap a bit longer?”

“Big boys don’t nap.”

“Sure they do! I take naps all the time, especially after a long day of classes.”

“Oh.”

“Sleep is good for you! So do you want to nap a little more?”

“No,” Katsuki yawned, sitting up. “Gotta pee.”

“Oh! Off you go, then!”

Katsuki nodded, crawling out from under the blankets despite Izuku’s protests, and headed to the little toilet attached to his room. He’d been grateful for it during the night, relieved that he didn’t have to hurry down the stairs to the toilets he’d first used. He never had accidents, but that rush to get there might have caused one, if he’d been really unlucky.

“We were thinking about going for a walk,” Kirishima offered through the door. “So we can spend some time in the sun. There’s a little playground at a park down the street, we could do some climbing or play on the swings.”

“Okay.”

“Cool! You should give your teeth a brush when you’re done, then. I’ll get the little one dressed!”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks!”

Katsuki settled himself on the toilet seat, grateful for the extra step stool Shouto had brought up the night prior, and listened to the squawking and arguing from the next room as he relieved himself. Izuku was not a fan of clothes in general, especially pants, so getting him dressed had never been an easy job. There had been lots of days where Katsuki showed up for a playdate and found Izuku running around in just his underwear, even when he was bigger. Katsuki had always found it funny, and his parents had seemed to as well, but Izuku’s mom had always been mortified and apologetic. Thankfully, when she gave him the if you want to play with Kacchan, you have to wear pants ultimatum, Izuku had always picked Katsuki.

“Look at these cool All Might shorts!” Kirishima sang, trying his best to coax Izuku in. “I wish I had a pair of cool All Might shorts to wear!”

Katsuki finished up and washed his hands, giving his teeth a good scrub, and by the time he got back into the bedroom, Izuku had exactly one toe inside his new shorts.

“Ka!”

“Yeah, I gotta get dressed too,” Katsuki confirmed, reaching for his pile of folded clothes. “Your mom won’t let you go out if you don’t put pants on.”

“Boo.”

“Yeah, I know you don’t like pants, but people don’t wanna see your weewee.”

“Booooo.”

“Stay in bed all day, then. I’m going to the park.”

“Pa!”

“Put your pants on then, stupid.”

Izuku pouted, but he wiggled his feet at Kirishima all the same, letting him pull the bright red shorts up over his legs obediently. He didn’t kick them off, for once, and even let Kirishima manoeuvre a shirt over his head without putting up a fight. It was surprisingly docile, Katsuki thought, and he wondered how long it would last.

He got his answer very quickly.

At the bottom of the stairs, a stroller waited for them, and Izuku’s mouth opened in protest immediately. He hated anything that kept him strapped in, not that the big people knew that, and as Kirishima lifted him toward it, the whines and kicking began all over again.

“He doesn’t like seatbelts,” Katsuki translated, wiping his still-sleepy eyes. “Like the high chair.”

“It’s to keep you safe, li’l guy!” Kirishima explained – or, attempted to. “I promise I’ll let you out as soon as you need a break!”

“No!”

“Was that a real word?”

“No!”

“Wow, look at you!”

“Noooo!”

“Will you stay in the seat with no straps?” Katsuki asked. “You can’t jump out.”

Izuku screwed up his face, thinking, but Katsuki just waited.

“No?”

“Then we can’t go to the park.”

“No! Pa!”

“No park.”

“Pa!”

“If you want to go to the park, you have to use the stroller.”

“Ka!”

“I’m big, I can walk.”

Kirishima and Denki shared a look over his head, but Katsuki thankfully didn’t notice.

“You gotta learn to walk still,” he continued. “You can’t just roll to the park.”

“Ka!”

“I can only carry you a little,” Katsuki admitted. “Not all the way.”

“Boooo.”

“When I’m bigger I will. These guys gotta hold other things, and the stroller won’t drop you by accident.”

“Meeeeh.”

“Good boy.”

Katsuki looked up expectantly, waiting for Kirishima to move, but Kirishima just blinked at him in confusion.

“You can put him in,” Katsuki explained. “He said it’s okay.”

“He did?”

“Don’t you listen?”

Denki laughed from behind him, but Kirishima didn’t bother to argue, taking the opportunity to strap Izuku in while he was on a break from kicking and squirming. Despite his pout, he sat still, and Kirishima smiled at him fondly as he got him settled in.

“Don’t forget All Might!” he said, tucking the plushie in with him. “You get to look around and see all the pretty trees and flowers along the way!”

“Boooo.”

“I know, bud. It’s not far, I promise.”

With Izuku finally settled, Katsuki sat down to put his own shoes on, pouting a little when Denki offered to help but allowing it all the same. Velcro was hard.

“You ready, Momo?” Mina asked, reaching for her hand. “Do you want to walk or would you rather ride with Ochako?”

The girl with the long hair – Momo, Katsuki supposed – tiptoed forward to join them, all quiet and timid like a big, long-haired mouse. She seemed okay, Katsuki thought. Not all annoying and demanding – Izuku was enough of that to have in one house – and nowhere near as loud as her friend with the round face.

“Ride, please,” she said softly, when Mina gestured to the second, bigger stroller beside her.

“You got it!”

She climbed into the little seat, letting Mina fasten her in beside the round-faced girl, and then they were all heading out the door, carrying the strollers down the short set of concrete stairs out the front. Katsuki wasn’t sure he’d even been out there, since whatever incident had made him smaller-than-usual-but-still-big, and yet there were things that felt oddly familiar about it.

The beat-up city in the distance, for instance. He felt weirdly drawn to it, like it was important somehow. And the path that led off to a big building, he felt like he spent a lot of time on that path. And especially the big, open field they were walking toward, with their path curling around one side of it, then a huge open space, cut off suddenly in the distance by a big wall that looked brand new, much cleaner than the sections either side of it. That field made him shiver, waves of hot and cold running through his body, his hands all dry and papery feeling. He didn’t like it at all.

He shifted a little closer to Shouto’s feet. Of all the people with him, he felt like he trusted Shouto the most. Kirishima was nice and all, and Denki was fun, but Shouto just had this quiet air about him like he was always in control, like a real hero.

“Everything okay?” Shouto asked knowingly.

“Don’t like the wall,” he admitted, in barely a whisper. “S’fine.”

“Oh,” Shouto hummed. “That’s the wall that keeps us safe here. It broke a bit recently, so it’s just been fixed back up.”

“And the grass?”

“That’s one of our training areas. Sometimes we get to fight with each other there.”

“Fight?”

“Practice fights,” he amended. “We don’t actually want to hurt each other.”

“Oh.”

He paused for a moment, staring, then looked up at Shouto again.

“Did you and me fight here?”

“We have,” Shouto confirmed. “A few times. It was a lot of fun.”

Hot and cold. Dry hands.

“I think I remember.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You were real strong.”

“Thank you,” Shouto smiled faintly. “You were too, you always are.”

Katsuki stood a little taller, preening under the praise, and Shouto just smiled fondly at him as they continued their stroll.

“Meeaa!”

Katsuki looked back to see Izuku squirming in his straps, hands reaching out desperately, eyes wide and shining even as he struggled.

“Meeeaaaaa!”

“Do you see the kitty?” Denki prompted, grinning. “What a cute kitty he is!”

“Meeaaa!”

Katsuki turned just in time to see an alarmed cat running the opposite direction, escaping Izuku’s clutches, and Izuku’s face fell.

“Meeaa...” he repeated sadly. “Baaee.”

“Yeah, byebye kitty,” Denki nodded. “He’s gotta get home to his family!”

“Mama.”

“Yeah, Mama Kitty is waiting for him at home.”

Katsuki’s eyebrows rose. Denki was surprisingly good at translating Izuku’s babble, apparently.

As they got closer to another building, not unlike the one they’d just left, Katsuki heard a ton of noise erupting out the windows. Katsuki looked up, hoping to catch a peek of what was going on, but what he saw made him freeze in his tracks.

“Baboons.”

“What?” Denki asked, whirling around to look. “Where?!”

Katsuki pointed, and Denki followed with his gaze, staring at the door of the B Class’s dorm building blankly. Between the columns outside were streamers in all sorts of rainbow colours, and hanging from them...

“Balloons?” Shouto clarified.

Katsuki felt his face burn bright red, but Kirishima was already grinning, turning the stroller to aim at their front door.

“I’d say they owe you a balloon,” Denki smirked. “Let’s go say hello.”

They stopped the strollers at the bottom of the stairs, unfastening the kids from their confines – much to Izuku’s relief – and carting them up to the door. Denki didn’t bother to knock, just kicked the door open with a thud, and Kirishima grinned as he held Izuku up above his head for the crowd to see.

“What’s up, my dudes?” Denki called over the music. “Did someone forget to invite us to the party?!”

“Kirishima!” a man called, elbowing his way through the crowd. “Hey! Long time no see!”

The man who emerged could have been Kirishima’s brother, for all Katsuki knew. His hair was a different colour, and his eyes were a little weird, but otherwise they could practically have been twins.

“Tetsutetsu!” Kirishima beamed. “Good to see you!”

“What are you- Oh. Holy shit, is that Midoriya?”

“Yeah!”

He held Izuku out for Tetsutetsu to inspect, and Izuku screwed up his face in response. Katsuki took a few steps away, edging toward the wall, and tapped Shouto on the arm firmly.

“Yes?”

“He’s gonna poop.”

“We just changed his diaper before we left.”

“Yeah, but now it’s a cranky poop.”

Shouto didn’t have time to ask what that meant, the smell already beginning to fill the room, and Kirishima groaned when Izuku began to squirm in his grip.

“Can we... use your bathroom?” he asked with a sigh. “I promise I won’t make a mess. Or, I’ll clean it up if I do.”

“Don’t forget it’s them who got us into this mess,” Denki pointed out. “I’m pretty sure they owe us! Big time!”

“What do you need?” a girl spoke up, a plate in her hand with a piece of cake on it that made Katsuki’s mouth water. “We’re more than happy to help, of course! Any way we can!”

“Kacchan, would you like to ask?” Shouto prompted

Katsuki grimaced, shrinking behind him to hide, but the girl smiled fondly and bent down to his height, keeping at a safe distance.

“Hello, I’m Kendou!”

“M’Kacchan.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Kacchan! Is there something I can do for you?”

“Mm... Baboon,” he mumbled, looking away. “Please.”

“Oh! Of course you can have a balloon!”

She stood back up, reaching for a bunch of them that floated nearby, pulling a handful down by the curly, shiny streamers that dangled below.

“What’s your favourite colour, Kacchan?”

“Orange.”

“I like orange too. Would you like an orange balloon, then?”

Katsuki nodded, and Kendou handed him one without hesitation, helping him wrap the streamer around his hand loosely to keep hold of it easier.

“Would you girls like a balloon too?” she offered, leaning over a little to meet Momo’s eyes. “We have lots to spare, feel free!”

Round-Face stepped forward boldly, reaching for a shiny pink one, and Kendou grinned as she helped her get a good grip on it, just like she’d done for Katsuki. Then it was Momo’s turn, who picked out a bright red one, making Katsuki gnaw on his lower lip.

“Midoriya can have one too, when he gets back,” Kendou smiled warmly. “What colour does he like?”

“Izuku likes red as well,” Katsuki mumbled, glancing over at Momo, her streamer held carefully between her hands as she stared up at it in awe.

“Oh, like his shoes!” Kendou nodded. “I’ve got another red one right here, do you think he’ll like this one?”

She pulled one down from the ceiling, and Katsuki nodded gratefully, a little relieved to see it. He didn’t want Izuku to miss out on his favourite one just because he pooped, after all.

Shouto accepted the balloon on Izuku’s behalf, nodding his thanks, and the next thing Katsuki knew, someone was putting little cardboard hats on all their heads, nestling a bright orange one into his spikes, handing him a shiny little tube with foil on the end. The girl blew into a matching one, and Katsuki watched in awe as the foil unfolded, letting out a long, loud tooooot that made his face light up with glee. He put the end of his own one in his mouth, blowing lightly, and burst into a fit of giggles when a little prrrp came out of it.

By the time Kirishima returned with Izuku under his arm, all three of the kids were settled in with big bowls of cake and ice cream, their balloons tied carefully around their wrists to keep from losing them, a chorus of toots regularly erupting from them, followed quickly by fits of matching giggles. Izuku reached for them frantically, and Kirishima set him down beside them, letting him lean against Katsuki’s leg for balance as he admired their prizes.

“There he is!” someone called, rushing over with a hat that almost took up Izuku’s whole head. “Are you old enough for cake, buddy?”

Izuku just stared at him, eyes wide, and Shouto chuckled softly as they stared at each other silently.

“He eats some solid food,” Shouto explained. “I don’t know if he’s had cake, it should be fine?”

“Maybe just a small piece, then,” she laughed. “I’ll be right back, Baby Midoriya! I’ll bring you some yummy cake.”

Shouto sat down beside them when she left, helping to keep Izuku upright, and when she returned with another bowl and a spoon, he even took charge of feeding Izuku little bites. Unfortunately, Izuku seemed to have a different idea of how cake should go, judging by the way he immediately stuck his hand in it and grabbed a handful, smearing it all over his little face.

“Good try,” Shouto offered weakly. “Maybe take a smaller handful next time so you get more in your mouth?”

“Boooooo!”

“Alright, carry on then.”

When the bowls were clean, and their hands and faces wiped, everyone bid the kids a nice farewell, and Katsuki smiled brightly when one of the men shoved a bunch of extra balloons in his hands, so full of streamers that he could barely keep a grip on them all.

“Take them,” he said flatly, looking away again quickly. “We won’t use them.”

“Thank you!” Katsuki beamed, hugging the bundle of balloons close to his chest. “You’re the coolest.”

“Remember that in a few days.”

“I’ll try!”

He split the bunch up, handing a few more each to Round-Face and Momo, much to their delight, then handing a couple of extras to Shouto, letting him tie them to the stroller with Izuku’s first. Mina hurried after them, after saying her goodbyes to all the girls in the building, and helped get Round-Face and Momo back in their seats, tying theirs to the stroller too. Denki opened his mouth to ask Katsuki, too, if he wanted to tie his on for safekeeping, but Katsuki was still too busy marvelling at them, eyes shining as he stared up at the coloured orbs wiggling around in the breeze, so he quickly closed it back up instead.

“The horns might have been a mistake,” Denki mused, when the kids kept blowing on them all the way to the park. “It’s gonna be a loud day.”

“At least we’re outside!” Kirishima pointed out. “It could be a lot worse!”

They unloaded the kids near the playground, and Katsuki sat down in the grass to rest his tired legs – not that he’d admit that out loud. Shouto reached into the back of the stroller, and Katsuki grinned when he produced a pack of juice boxes, trading a nice cold one for Katsuki’s handful of balloons, promising to tie them up nice and safe for him.

Izuku whined pitifully, rolling into Katsuki’s side and reaching for the box, but Katsuki just pouted, jerking it away from his clumsy hands.

“My juice,” he said firmly.

“I have one for you, too,” Shouto offered, poking the straw in and holding it out for Izuku. “See? The same one as Kacchan.”

Izuku took one look at it and turned away stubbornly, still flailing for Katsuki’s juice as his whines got louder, and Katsuki pushed him away gently when he started batting at Katsuki’s leg.

“Maiiiii!”

“Yours is there!” Katsuki huffed, pointing at Shouto’s outstretched hand. “This is my one!”

“Maiiiiiiiiii!”

“No! Get your own!”

“Ka mai!”

Shouto pointedly poked the straw into Izuku’s mouth to get his attention, but still he just grabbed at Katsuki’s, frowning as best as his baby face could manage.

“I don’t think he can use a straw yet,” Mina pointed out, cutting the top off the box instead and offering it to him. “Here little buddy, here’s a cup!”

Katsuki gasped when Izuku smacked it away, spilling juice all over Mina’s legs and shoes, and for a moment they all just stared at him, watching as he burst into loud, angry sobs.

“Alright Izuku, that’s enough,” Shouto said firmly, surprising Katsuki a little with the tone. “You don’t get to snatch Kacchan’s juice, and you certainly don’t get to throw yours away just because you want his instead. Come on, I think you need a break.”

He picked up the fussy baby, strapping him back into the stroller seat despite his protests, and Katsuki just watched with wide eyes as Shouto planted the stroller under a tree to sit in the shade. After a moment, Katsuki’s gaze slowly turned back to Mina’s sticky legs, watching as she doused herself in water from a plastic bottle.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s not your fault, Kacchan!”

“I should have shared.”

“You don’t have to share everything just because someone wants it. He had his own juice, he didn’t need to share yours. He’s just little, he doesn’t understand, and he needs to learn sometimes!”

“Do you want to borrow my shoes?”

“That’s okay, but thank you sweetie!” Mina grinned. “There’s a drinking fountain over there, so I’m just gonna wash myself off and get Todoroki to dry my shoes for me, they’ll be good as new in no time! How are you going with that juice?”

“All done.”

He sucked on his straw one more time to demonstrate, a loud slurp coming out as air rushed through instead of juice, and Mina took the box from his hand with another big smile.

“I’ll go throw this away while I clean up, then. Do you want to play on the playground with the girls?”

“Want Shouto too.”

“I’m sure we can arrange that,” she laughed. “Why don’t you go ask him, and you can leave your All Might with the stroller for safekeeping if you like.”

Katsuki nodded, glancing over at the stroller where Izuku was finally calming, half his fist in his mouth as he sucked on it pitifully. His own All Might was tucked under his arm for cuddles, his eyelids starting to sink a little lower, so Katsuki made his way over on tiptoe to keep from frightening him.

“Can you hold my All Might?” he asked, leaning over the stroller to tuck it in beside Izuku. “I know you’ll take good care of him for me.”

Izuku absorbed it into his hug without hesitation, eyes locked on Katsuki even though he continued sucking on his hand, and Katsuki managed an awkward little smile as he stepped back again.

“Shouto?” he asked, turning his gaze. “Will you play with me?”

“Me?” Shouto blinked at him, glancing at Kirishima and getting a grin in return. “Sure, I guess so.”

“Come climb with me.”

Kirishima sat back under the tree, sighing contentedly, and Shouto followed Katsuki over to the playground, managing a little smile when the girls looked up at him nervously.

“You wanna play?” he asked. “I’ll come with you all.”

“Play!” Round-Face nodded. “Tunnel!”

“Yeah, let’s climb up to the tunnel.”

Katsuki went first up the little wooden ladder, dragging Shouto along by the hand, and the girls followed close behind him. They balanced across beams, swung side to side on rope bridges, and finally made it up to the big wooden tunnel, stuffing themselves inside like a little clubhouse just for the four of them.

“Oh no,” Shouto said flatly, face deadpan. “It looks like our tunnel is under attack.”

“What?!”

He raised a hand, and a wall of ice froze over the tunnel entrance behind them, making Momo squeal a little as she leaned away. Shouto hurried out the other side, freezing it behind them to trap them in, and cackled when Katsuki whined at him for it. One little hand reached out a little window cut in the side of the tunnel, flailing as it tried to reach him, but Shouto just laughed some more, looking at their deformed faces through the thin sheet of ice.

“What will our noble heroes do?” he asked. “How will they get themselves out of this predicament?”

“I’m gonna punch it!” Katsuki declared, winding up. “Then I’m gonna punch you, Villain Shouto!”

“Oh no, I’m scared.”

He let the ice melt just before Katsuki could hit it – he didn’t want to risk broken child-knuckles after all – and Katsuki triumphantly dove through, tackling Shouto onto the wooden platform. The girls cheer from behind him, and Shouto quickly wiggled his way free, three tiny children chasing after him as he ran away.

“No fair!” Katsuki called, as Shouto leapt over an entire cargo net like it was nothing, leaving them to climb up and over it behind him. “You’re big!”

“Villains are always big!”

He slowed down all the same, letting the kids almost catch up before he ran again, swinging across the monkey bars effortlessly, and watching with a hint of pride when Katsuki stopped to boost the girls up first. The Katsuki he’d first met would never have stopped to help others, it was nice to see how far he’d come.

Or, how far he’d reverted. He wasn’t sure how that worked.

After a few laps of the playground, when the kids were breathing a little harder, Shouto made his way over to the slide, freezing the metal surface and surfing down it on his feet. The chase was immediately forgotten as all three kids began frantically begging for a turn. Shouto agreed quickly, waiting at the bottom to catch them as they slid down, already chanting ‘again, again!’ before he’d even set them down.

Izuku was sound asleep in his stroller by the time they stopped for the day, exhausted on balloons and cake and tantrums, so Katsuki rode on Shouto’s back on the way home, instead of walking beside Izuku. It was exciting being so tall, he wondered if it was still as cool when they were your own legs – it felt weird to ask.

When they passed a group of stray cats, a sleepy little ‘meaa’ came from the stroller behind them, and Katsuki looked back to see Izuku rubbing at his eyes, leaning against the side of the stroller as he watched the cats rolling around in the grass and pouncing on each other playfully.

“I’ll get you a cat when we grow up,” Katsuki promised. “We can name it All Might.”

“Ka!”

“No, you can’t name the cat Kacchan, I’m Kacchan!”

“Boooo.”

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