Friday Music(?) and Check-In

I wanted to get in on this last week but then stuff happened. So, I figure I'll do it now.

Worst movie ever.

Troll 2.

I think, if you said Troll 2 was the worst movie ever, I don't think many folks can argue with you. Scenes that prove this point include:

Peeing on supper.

Then they're going to eat me. OH MYYYY GOOOODDD

The weird pyjama dance.

"Where do the girls go from around here at night?" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA girls"

The corn and popcorn scene.

Yes, Troll 2 is absolutely a contender for worst movie ever. As a deep connoisseur of bad movies, Troll 2 is like The Room, Miami Connection, and a few others that are so bad even the most basic movie goer can "enjoy" it.

However.

For my own personal opinion, as someone who has seen hundred's of bad movies, I need something more. I need to HURT when watching the movie. I need to clutch my head and scream if this is reality. Neil Breen movies do this well. But, what if there was a movie that was just as enjoyable as the above, and as head-scratchingl-y maddening like Neil Breen films?

I present to you, Geteven. Or Road to Revenge. Or Champagne and Bullets.

See, an "action" movie, starring, directed and written by the same man isn't uncommon. Especially when they are a flubby man who is sleeping with (literal) playboy playmates. No, this movie doesn't win because of that. Or the random Shakespeare monologue he butchers to show how awesome he is. Or his co-stars, actual washed-up movie stars so drunk they stumble in scenes.

No, it wins my heart because not only does our man write, star, and direct the film. He SINGS the songs he wrote. I present to you, the Shimmy Slide.

it's everything the movie is: how scared he looks doing this even though he wrote it and it's his movie. The drunken antics of Wings Hauser. The band with no drums but drum sounds. The awkward shuffling. The baffling way to drink wine. All bundled up with a man singing a song about eyes swelling up and doing a shimmy slide.

Good luck getting it out of your head. And yes, the rest of the film is just as baffling. Just as amazing. You haven't lived until you heard the Shakespeare. Or the crooked judge coming out of a drug high mid-scene. Wings derailing the story multiple times with his drunken-ness. The nun who can't stay in character. The horrible acting. The love song. The love scene(s)!

As it stands now, the "popularity" of the film has had the only copy taken down by youtube. But if you yarrrrr wink wink you can find it under champagne and bullets easily enough. I highly recommend it. It will change your life.

Okay, I'm working this weekend so no fun for me. How about you all? Also, make sure you take care of yourselves. Please.