January '22 Update: 20+ minutes of everything going wrong.
Added 2022-01-27 19:25:24 +0000 UTC"How's it going Patreon, it is January...first month of 2021." - He said very confidently, with Big Red's voice filter on for the entirety of the update.
Yeah so, I sound a little different this month and that's because I'm a fool! Big reminder in the opening to up your pledge to $20 if you're wanting to get your hands on the Dark Mode Alphonse enamel pin. Then I talk about Vtuber Alphonse streams, Pokemon Legends (sorry for the mini-review and speculation no one asked for lmfao), and life stuff.
Sorry this month has been a slow one, I'm working on me so I can do better for everybody else (and myself). <3
Comments
I got way too into the Pokemon break down, I was like "YEAH KING UR RIGHT THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING" lol. I actually hadn't thought you'd "missed" content, I thought the new streams were just replacing some stuff, tbh. I'm entering my fourth and final year of college and boy howdy I feel you on the "no choice but to push through burnout" vibes. I hope you're able to get your feet under you!
ElvenSemi
2022-01-29 03:23:30 +0000 UTCDo what you got to do. π. I hope you are keeping self care on your list. I am sure we all look forward to when you are ready to hit us with the next audio.
Charitie Nicholas
2022-01-28 14:10:35 +0000 UTCI'M DEAD this was a delight! Thanks for the Pokemon review Big Red.
PossiblyEden
2022-01-28 03:58:01 +0000 UTCSorry if it caused you more strife, but if it makes you feel any better it was kind of a delight!
Gail Burnette
2022-01-28 03:19:00 +0000 UTCI love this update from Red! π breaking the fourth wall. Take care of yourself Caleb π
Strawberryho3
2022-01-28 02:33:23 +0000 UTCYou focus on you and the time need to settle yourself. It'll come back and like you said you know that, don't worry about us, we all know you're well worth the wait
Crescent Wing Studio
2022-01-28 00:47:30 +0000 UTCAww poor Finn π. When I heard you were leaving your mom, I knew it would be good to grow you, but as someone who has moved closer to my parents in the last few years, I get that need to have the in your life. There is no shame in it and truly, I think it's something more people should do. And it may seem like things are falling apart, but if my last year has taught me anything, it's that the 1st step to growth is falling apart and losing the things that weigh you down. You will find yourself again, and maybe find a purer version of yourself. Personally my counselor has been invaluable in this and while I have always been mental health aware, I never thought I needed it myself... but oh did I. And if anything what I have seen of your journey in the last 18 months, you really have grown so much. But that brings pain and stress. Don't try and got back into the old you. Instead, let it go. And what your meant to do again will come back. In the mean time, you will have peace.
heather
2022-01-27 21:51:38 +0000 UTCIt was hilarious, and additionally after I finished my Big Red recording session I accidentally left it on for two minutes of Finn that I now have to go do another take of, which is also funny. I think it's a combination of a lot of things. Truth is, I spent basically from age 22 to 30 living a very secluded, quiet, simple life. Not a lot of responsibility, not a lot of stakes. Thanks to the growth of my work over the past 5 years, that has changed in many awesome ways and I'm a much healthier person for it, but I definitely see tons of ways where I'd grown so accustomed to life being lived a certain way, there's a whole adjustment period that I've got to go through. Then compound that with running a business, balancing work/life, maintaining relationships, and additional life surprises, I think I've been operating at a deficit for the past 6 months and it's peeled away layers of me and now I'm feeling depleted. The scope definitely goes beyond just creative motivation, it's exhaustion on all fronts and having little left to give myself or anyone in my life. That said, being able to recognize that puts me way ahead of the curve, so I don't feel hopeless or lost. I feel sad for what has slipped through the cracks in the process. Relationships, opportunities, things like that. But that's life. I also miss the heck out of my mom, which is a relationship I've been able to nurture from the point of being in the dumpster to actually being a pretty important part of my life. She's looking at moving down here this year though, and just having her nearby is gonna be a big plus. Ultimately, I knew the challenges I'd be facing, and I did what I could to prepare accordingly before moving. There's been a ton of unfortunate things that popped up (personal strife, struggling with doctors/medicine, etc) so I remind myself that sometimes stuff sucks and you can't feel guilty about life doing life things when you've dedicated as much of yourself as you could to preparing for stuff. Me being a procrastinator and someone who needs emotional stability to create wasn't news to me, thankfully, so I'm not surprised by work related struggles at least. Therapy and counseling have been on my mind too. If there's one thing that stress and exhaustion can do, it's reveal your weak areas and make them very apparent. There's a few more things I've gotta handle myself before thinking about going that route, but I know where my line is, and if I hit that point I'll know it's time to do the thing. Thank you for the wonderful comment. <3
YuuriVoice
2022-01-27 21:13:33 +0000 UTCFirst of all, I hope your discovery at the end mad you smile as much as I did hearing you figure it all out. Finding ways to laugh at ourselves can be very therapeutic. We also know that your human and humans get exhausted. There is no fault to that. You have been working on some awesome and fun new projects, but something has to give. It sounds like Texas has been good for you, but also like you lost something in the journey. What's the biggest thing that you miss from living out east? You may need to intentionally supplement that in your life. Also, counseling is amazing if you can. I know you have a history with the church but some of them can help with cost if you need it. Hope this next week is better. Please know we all are here to support you. And your going to make it.
heather
2022-01-27 20:58:13 +0000 UTC^this!! the end product isnβt worth it if the creator isnβt doing ok. be kind to yourself and take care of you<3
Neverhere
2022-01-27 20:35:50 +0000 UTCThanks for the update Red. :p In all seriousness though, I'm glad you're aware of where you're at mentally and you're trying to keep that in mind when working so you don't get too far in the sticks. Some of the things you said ring true with my own trials (especially that one about speed bumps and walls) and seeing you take the time to work through them is an inspiration. Keep going at whatever pace you can/want, and we'll be here, friend.
Dusty
2022-01-27 20:18:19 +0000 UTCHey, please don't push yourself through burnout when it's not necessary! I know you can take care of yourself and you don't need me or anyone to tell you that, but we'll be here when you're rested and ready, okay? Take it easy, man. π
Hex Lazarus
2022-01-27 19:46:29 +0000 UTC
