WIP
Added 2023-06-15 07:28:44 +0000 UTCI am planning 2~3 pages idea about a episode "Magic Duel".
plz correct the lines unnatural or wrong.
Magic Duel
Original airdate:December 1, 2012 <- OMG....
Comments
This is really cool! thank you. I will update. I'm glad you got what I wanted to mean.
2023-06-17 16:17:18 +0000 UTCFrame 1. Fluttershy is misspelled. I would say Where's Zecora!? and Fluttershy!? (At the very least I would add question marks (?) Because the first time I read it it seemed as tho fluttershy was the "evil pony". .. There are probably better ways to word this sentence I just can't think of them right now. Same frame.. Ahh, they are being punished. "Aha" sounds more like Trixie is having a revelation / epiphany (light bulb moment) Frame 2 I hope you like it instead of you hope you like it. ... You may be saying something else here but I'm trying to make it make sense (to me as long as I'm following the story correctly. Frame 3 Suggestion more than a fix What are you doi.... Instead of what are you thin[king]" Either is fine but in my opinion it comes across better with the frame 考えてるのvs シテるの (kinda feeling) Frame 4 No real changes needed Except What do you want? Or !? Suggestion: Tell me now! Current: (Stop it now!) オシエロvsヤメロ Frame 5 No real changes except for spacing and apostrophes "I can't stand" Or (Don't leave me here!) will work as well 立てないvs ココにオイテクナ PS if needed be I can translate all of the suggestions into Japanese ((I'm assuming your first language)) if needed be it just takes me too long to do it right now.
Keisuke4321
2023-06-16 05:36:06 +0000 UTC
