My Ability is Fate Gacha 75 Overthinking

A man's heart is complicated. 

Kira thought that he understood himself, yet the more he tried to understand, the more lost he was. 

In a relationship, everything should be easy since, as they trusted him, he should also trust them, yet while he was confident in himself, with his power, wealth, and many others that he had to work on, everything was just a cover or clothes he wore to hide his insecurities, especially when a man understood other man. 

Even kings or emperors in the past, even if they had stood at the top, led everything within the land, and everything, still put their women in the Imperial Harem, the place where they kept all of their women, and were protected and observed by a group of eunuchs, a man who had lost their capabilities to reproduce. 

This was a king who had everything, whether it was wealth, authority, or even power. What about a normal man? 

A king or an emperor could even be betrayed; no, even Napoleon Bonaparte, the man who conquered almost all of Europe, had been betrayed by his love. 

This was probably why people started to avoid marriage, since if they knew that their ending wouldn't be a happy ending, and even the love they believed in the beginning might not be permanent, wasn't it better not to marry at all and have a relationship without any ties?

Instead of feelings, a man might as well sleep with all the women they wished to be with, ignoring the emotional ties or even love, only being truest to their desire and becoming slaves to their lust.

Sleeping with all these beautiful women, having them have a sweet cry under them, as they were clearly obsessed and in love. 

How wonderful it would be, right? 

Yet, frankly, Kira knew well that love was similar to a war, and even if the woman was the one who often said that all was fair in love and war, it also worked similarly in men. 

Even if the method was a bit dirty sometimes, it was far better than having the woman who was loved taken away by others. 

Regardless, he also started to cool down after he looked at Erza's naked body, which was completely a mess, being tainted and marked by him. As he became a beast the previous night, he gave her many marks that were impossible to disappear in a short time, as if he wanted to tell the world that she was his. 

No one could get her away from him, and she would be his. 

To get the woman that he wanted, he wasn't afraid of any challenges or competitors, as he knew well that the women that he was with were sought after by everyone, the best of the best, and the dream lovers of everyone. 

Still, the problem was that Erza wasn't the only one that he wished to be by his side, as he wanted many famous heroines of this world to be with him.

It was too greedy, wishing to get all of them, yet as he was given a chance, he knew well that it was too stupid to refuse. 

Yet, while his lips said so, his heart said otherwise since, as he could even betray the one that he loved, wouldn't it be possible for him to be betrayed, too? 

Frankly, he wasn't afraid of being betrayed since if they went out, then that's it, he should go for someone else, as the world only lacked a human and he was bolder, there might be a beautiful humanoid creature such as a female dragon...? 

He wasn't sure, though. 

Still, regardless, he felt that everything had become so heavy. Yes, while the feeling of love might not be happy all the time, what he felt was a pressure, and while it was a bit rude, it was a burden. 

When Kira was with Lucy, while she was a bit silly, it brought him a smile, yet when it came to Mirajane, who expected him to marry her and build a family together, he had to say... it was quite heavy. 

He knew that it was quite rude, but for him, who had to think about how to live, especially during a disaster from the antagonist that might even take his life, a family wasn't his priority. 

If he knew nothing, then it would be good, but as he knew most of the things in this world, the pressure on his body was so heavy that he couldn't breathe. 

Or rather, how many times has he encountered danger and even almost died? 

Well, with the skill that he gained from Nero, even if he died, he could revive, but who wants to die, right? 

Stable life might be good, but was there even a stable life in this world where danger existed at any moment?

Instead of giving his life to love, Kira felt that he should achieve his ambition, and instead of being burdened, he wanted to feel happy, even if this wish of his was selfish and would hurt someone.

'I might hurt Mirajane.' 

When he thought of that gentle face crying, it made him hesitate once again, yet did he even have the right to be with her, even after what he had done? 

Probably, the best way for him to live was like Loke, to have many short relationships instead of serious ones. 

This was also the reason why being with Erza was so easy, as she didn't expect a serious relationship with him, and what they did was just to comfort each other. 

While Kira wasn't sure, he felt like he was treated like a cigarette for comfort during a stressful day by Erza. 

For such a relationship, he knew that he shouldn't expect something to develop and instead should focus on the one who would give their everything to him. 

Yet, it was too late, he thought. 

'Once I get back, let's talk about everything.' 

Sooner or later, everything would be discovered, so before that, he might as well tell the truth, so Mirajane could move on directly. 

As Kira thought so, Erza, who slept on his arms opened her eyes softly, and looked at his body, which she marked by sucking them with her fleshy lips, especially on the neck and shoulder parts, which were particularly conspicuous. 

"Why are you looking at my neck?" 

"N-Nothing!" 

Erza shook her head furiously and even wondered why she left such bold marks on him. 

Was it because she was affected by him, who did the same thing?

Or was it because... she wanted to tell the world, too, that he was hers? 

Yet, he was already Mirajane's. 

'And...' 

When Erza thought of her past, she wondered whether it was okay for her to have a future.

Unlike what Kira thought, she wasn't as weak a woman as he thought her to be, and in the Fairy Tail, she was able to find her family and think of their future. 

If she could do that, then it should be possible for him. 

Like her, who could find her peace in him, she hoped for him to be the same, even if that person wasn't hers. 

Then again, as she lowered her head and saw the white liquid dripping from her lower body, Erza wondered whether she would get pregnant. Shaking her head softly, she moved closer and lay snugly on his chest. 

"You are not waking up?" 

"Let's sleep like this once again." 

".........." 

Watching her beautiful face that appeared so comfortable by his side, Kira wondered why he thought so much. Shaking his head softly, he also decided not to think about the future too much, since this world was different from his previous world. Instead of thinking of the future, he should be thinking of the present, since he wouldn't be able to tell whether he could stay alive or not in the future, especially with how unreliable Natsu and the rest were. 

Where would their relationship be? 

Kira wasn't sure, but instead of hiding and plotting like a piece of shit, he decided to be truthful and tried to fight for it even if in the end, being together wasn't their ending. 

Lying on the bed together, the two continued their second sleep since, as they returned to their Fairy Tail, there was no time to about their feelings at all.