You guys have got me.

Hi everyone :)

Recently, I've had a tough time (Sarah, that is. Not Octav1us. She is sorted. Apart whatever on earth is going on with her and Snake and Horace) and I've been too anxious to go to work, and too anxious to go to uni. Obviously the former is the most important because they are wondering where I am while also as I am a contractor, only working 3 days, I REALLY need to show up to work to pay the rent. I don't show, I don't get paid.

But not showing up to uni and being really behind on my assignments has me killed. I have paid 3.5k in student loans so far for the degree, and I'm not even stable of mind enough to go into a lecture. I got very down about it today, and also I had the 'I'm done stringing you on with dates and hanging out for the last 4 months and now I'm dumping you' speech from my ex, and honestly I have not felt so low in years.

Then, I had an email from one of you guys asking to send me a little pick me up on paypal. Then another email, again by suprise, by someone telling me how much my videos make him smile and have got him through a bad space. Then, I checked this Patreon and saw the insane amount that I am pledged every month. And I just sobbed for about half an hour.

I know it's soppy and stupid, and I know I say it a lot, but I can never begin to tell my fans how much I appreciate them. And you patrons who find the spare cash to pledge to me are so appreciated too. It is a HUGE thing to me, as someone who started these videos as a way to fend off depression, that you guys thought that I am worth even a couple of your hard-earned pennies. I am continued to be delighted every day by what I see on here, on my social profiles, and on my emails. I wish I had the time to reply to every single heartfelt email, every direct message, every comment. I try to find the time. Everyone who took the time to check out my silly channel and support me, whether by donating or simply viewing the video, deserves that time. Basically, I need to find time to give you time. If that makes sense.

Christmas is an especially hard time of year for me, and being alone this year is going to be hard. But if I didn't have Octav1us and the people who love her, I would be truly miserable this Christmas - but you guys are like my Christmas lights.

I truly hope you all have the most wonderful Christmas, and a happy new year! Make sure you eat too much, okay? We'll all pretend to go to the gym in January, it's cool.

Octav1us/Sarah xxxxx