rudetalesofmagic

RMoM '22: CHAMPION REVEALED!! (and some heartbreaking news)

Added 2022-04-04 17:09:47 +0000 UTC

After a thrilling and unforgettable tournament, all the votes have finally been tallied and we were excited to declare a final winner, HOWEVER, our killer stands revealed, but not after claiming some final victims.

In an incredible, monumental self-own, you, our listeners, voted decisively for Hot Roddy over yourselves. You wild little freaks! However, Roddy's victory was short lived, as he was struck down by-you guessed it- THE DEAN FROM THE PILOT.

That's right, clever fans may have realized all along that only the Dean from that one scene in the first episode possesed the guile and killer instinct to eliminate all-star characters like Cordelia, De Bonesby, and especially Bellow. Furious about his own early exit from the field, the Dean systemically eliminated the strongest opponents, up to and including our final two competitors.

That's right, the Dean saw that ‘You, the Listener’ was primed to take it all and set out on an international killing spree, killing approximately seventy nine percent of our listeners. If you’re reading this you’re among the 21% he decided to spare for reasons unknown even to us. Luckily, the Dean announced he was done killing and voluntarily returned to hell.

To mark this harrowing event, Here is a celebratory shirt to mark his grace in sparing you*. Wear it in silent mourning for all those RTOM fans whose watch… has ended. And keep an eye out for our next episode of Rude Tales of Magic: Just Albee and Stirfry Now, coming soon!

*You still have to pay for it since we just lost 79% of our paying audience