"It works and it's delicious": The Moves of Yuletide Kombat Family Chef

Yuletide Kombat Family Chef is a game best served cold. But what it lacks in warmth it makes up for in flavor, texture, and presentation! Read on to learn what the players of YKFC prepared for their characters before the game began.

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Ali’s Yuletide Notes

Rufus the jewelry salesman from Love, Actually played by Rowan Atkinson

TAUNT: “This is so much more than a bag… it’s your body bag.”

In a Hurry, Are We? Not Any More!

On a physical attack, Rufus catches your weapon and gift wraps it against your will. It takes so long. The wait costs you 1d8(??) British Damage.

Minor character

Rufus disables a player not yet in play by handing them his coat, hat, and luggage. They take 2d8 British Damage and have to fight over-encumbered (dealing only 1/2 damage) when they’re in play.

The final flourish

Rufus kills you with a cinnamon stick. You take 2d8 British Damage.

Super move: In an earlier draft….

According to CBR.com “In December 2015, Love Actually script editor Emma Freud tweeted, "Originally Rowan's character over-wrapped the gift on purpose to stop Alan Rickman being able to buy the necklace. Because he was an angel.””

Rufus blasts your character into an earlier version of themselves when they were originally written as an angel. All future attacks now cause no damage and instead save their targets’ marriage. You take 3d8 British Damage.

Pokeball:

Mr. Bean from s1e7 Merry Christmas, Mr Bean! (1992) explodes out of the pokeball with a turkey stuck on his head and he’s driving a tiny car. He runs you over and you take massive British damage (5d8). If you live, you go vegetarian.

Stephanie Zinone, the leader of the Pink Ladies, wearing a Christmas tree costume in the talent show in Grease 2 (1982) played by Michelle Pfeiffer

TAUNT: “Maybe I’m tired of being someone’s chick…. So I’m going to try being someone’s killer!”

Undisputed 10

Stephanie turns her pink ladies bomber inside out and it’s black. She puts it back on. She’s wearing sunglasses inside a bowling alley. Your character is temporarily stunned by Stephanie’s blazing charisma and excessive hotness.

Just when I found you, I lost you!

Your character believes their crush didn’t make the canyon jump while being chased by the T birds on their motorcycle. You’re a grief-stricken, teenage version of your character who only cares about love.

Super defensive move: It’s a musical

You’re blasted by the urge to sing? Idk

[I originally had Mr Bean as his own fighter and these were his moves]

The oven

Mr Bean burns something in the oven. That something was you! You take 1d8 British Damage

Tiny car

Mr Bean runs over you in his tiny car. You take 2d8 British Car Damage.

Mr Bean Did It First

In 1998, six years after Mr Bean debuted the turkey-on-head gag, an episode of Friends features Joey performing the same gag. Mr Bean attacked you the same way you just attacked him… six years ago! The memory is so painful you stumble and miss. You take 3d8 British Trauma Damage

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Chris's Yuletide Notes

Jack Skellington

This Is Christmas 

A present for you (which contains your greatest fear)

Jack's Lament

Infect opponent with a sense of holiday ennui and imposter syndrome.

Super move

The Touchstone

By entering  into combat with Jack Skellington, this production is deemed a sequel or derivative work of Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas, and is thusly owned by The Walt Disney Company. Disney Studios has determined you to be too "dark and scary for kids" and you will be shelved until the weekend of January 13th, for release under Touchstone Pictures.

1991 JCPenney Christmas Catalogue

Move

ROLL 1d600 to summon a weapon or item from within a random page.

Super move

Summon a gun rack from Page 274

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Joe’s Yuletide Notes

Lord A Leaping

Jump Kick

The Lord Leaps through the air at dizzying heights, and lands on his opponent with a powerful kick from his lordly leg.

5 Golden Rings

The Lord removes 5 golden rings from his fingers. On a hit, each ring does 1d6 ring damage. (Modified this attack in game to use coins in Scrooge’s office)

Super Move

 9 Other Lords

By calling out in song, the Lord may summon 9 fellow lords to join him in battle. When all ten Lords join hands, they can form the massive battling robot, the MegaLord.

Taunt- Looks like one of the six geese laid you!

Peter  the Folgers brother

Hot Coffee

Peter throws a hot, delicious cup of Folghers Brand Coffee in your face.

Razor Bow

Peter removes a gift bow from his shirt, flinging at his opponent. The bow is razor sharp but can be successfully countered with a wrapped gift.

Super Move

Sister Love Ray

Peter has powerful feelings he can no longer keep inside- and from his mouth shoots a ray of powerful Sister Love energy. This beam of concussive force always hits unless the target has strong feelings toward a sibling.

Taunt- Wow… you’ve really grown up

Pokeball

Rhydon (Shiny)

Type: Ground/Rock

HP: 105

Attack: 130

Defense: 120

Sp. Atk:  45

Sp. Def:  45

Speed: 40

Ability: Lightning Rod- This Pokemon is immune to Electric-type moves and raises its Special Attack by 1 when hit by an Electric-type move.

Move 1  Stealth Rock

Move 2 Earthquake

Move 3 Stone Edge

Move 4 Swords Dance

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Carly’s Yuletide Notes

Col. Harland Sanders

Taunt: "You're finger-lickin' finished!"

Low level attacks:

"Party Barrel"

the Colonel logrolls on a giant bucket of chicken, damaging all creatures on the board.

"Pepper Mayo Twister"

the Colonel spins in a great whirlwind, knocking the opponent about with his sauce-covered fists.

Medium attacks:

"Kentucky for Christmas!"

the opposing player has to wait in line to pick up their Christmas chicken and cannot attack for the next 2 turns!

Super attack:

"Big in Japan"

Col Sanders pilots the full-scale RX-78-2 Gundam mech from the Gundam Factory in Yokohama

Della and James Dillingham Young, the couple in O. Henry's "Gift of the Magi"

Taunt: "I couldn't live through Christmas without giving you an ass-kicking!"

Low level attacks:

"The Combs"

Della slashes her opponent with beautiful combs of pure tortoise shell and jeweled rims, a gift from her beloved Jim

"The Fob Chain"

Jim lashes out at his opponent with a sensible but stylish platinum fob chain, a gift from his darling Della

Medium attacks:

"And now I think we should have our dinner"

Jim suggests putting away their Christmas presents. They are too nice to use now! The opponent must switch out so that the Youngs can enjoy their chops in peace. Any weapons or obstacles are also cleared from the board.

Super attack:

"My hair grows so fast, Jim!"

Della's gorgeous tresses flare out from her head in prehensile spikes, causing piercing damage to the opponent.

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Branson’s Yuletide Notes

Aslan

I had Aslan's wikipedia page open

Frieza

Mostly just went by memory but I had a "Dragon Ball Z moves wiki" ready to go