A True Alpha Chapter 45

Chapter 45

For the next three days, Clarke didn't even attempt to stop drinking, in fact, she threw drinks back even faster just to spite Lexa. The alpha intentionally drank herself stupid just to lash out at Lexa for her words. Worse yet, she was anything but reserved about her drinking. Clarke was deliberate in ensuring that Lexa witnessed her drunkenness and her descent. At least at first, the alpha hadn't been so verbose about it, simply sticking around Lexa and drinking herself into a deeper and deeper hole. However, after she passed her fifth or sixth drink each day? Clarke became damn right belligerent, spewing disdain soaked profanities. The alpha hurt, her only sliver of pride now tarnished, destroyed by her own actions, but all she could see was how the one woman who had always seen her as a strong and capable alpha no longer saw her as much more than a hopeless child. 

Lexa took each strike on the chin, swallowing the vitriol down with her own guilt and self-loathing. Instead of lashing back she steadied herself, striving to seem solid for her hurting mate. In her eyes, it was all she could do. After having taken something so precious from Clarke? She knew exactly how much seeing Clarke as strong meant to the alpha, and she knew it when she had opened her mouth, but it slipped out anyway. It would never matter how incessantly or profusely she apologized and corrected herself the moment the words came out. Lexa knew that in Clarke's eyes the mistaken words would forever be how she understood Lexa to see her.  Each day was somehow worse than the last for the regretful alpha, her resistance wore much faster than she would have hoped, that said she also would have hoped her alpha would lose steam and finally realize it was just a slip of the tongue sooner than three whole days later. No relief however came. Lexa knew why, she understood, no matter how much she wished it weren't the case, Clarke was still hurting. The alpha was still so caught up and lost in the words and their meaning. Nothing she could do or say would change that and lamentfully Clarke made this fact overtly clear to a painful degree. 

The second day was infinitely worse than the first, in the same way that holding a glass of water feels easy at first but after a whole day? With no relief? It feels like carrying a thousand-pound weight. Lexa eroded, her once impenetrable stature seeming feeble. At each strike, she staggered somehow succeeding to stay together despite falling apart at the seams. All through the second day and into the third, Lexa's only saving grace had been that even if Clarke was acting like such an idiot, drinking herself slovenly towards another blackout, she was at least doing it at home. The smallest sliver of safety was of miniscule comfort, but it was something, and Lexa held to it for dear life. She prayed and prayed and prayed that it could at least give Clarke enough time to cool down and come to her senses before she got herself hurt or worse. 

But then, at the end of the third day, more than ten drinks in, Clarke ran out, she ran out completely. The addict needed more, she tore apart her room, destroyed what was left of her nest, she even broke the nightstand in a fit of rage. 

It wasn't until the loud thud and crack that Lexa was drawn back into their room to witness Clarke's meltdown. The alpha couldn't even stay on her feet, she tripped and fell to her knees with every third step. 

“Clarke you can't walk, please lay down.” 

“No!” Clarke spat back infuriated. “If I lay down you'll just call me a worthless weakling again!”

“Clarke I never said that! Now please, you are beyond drunk.” Lexa's restraint was waning. 

“No!” 

“Clarke!” Lexa pleaded, attempting to grab her mate, to help calm her.

The surprising touch startled the alpha still so caught up in her own mind. “Get the fuck off of me!” Clarke forcefully pushed Lexa off with all her weight, knocking Lexa into the wall. 

Tears were forming before she knew what happened. Her head rung, light stinging as she tried to step forward realizing she had fallen to the ground. “Fuck.” Lexa whimpered, the room spinning. “Baby please.”

“I'm going out! I'm going to get more!” Clarke announced mostly for herself, but also to jab at Lexa once more, not realizing in the slightest what she had done, or how hard Lexa's head had cracked against the wall, leaving a gnarly hole in the drywall the shape of the back of her head. 

“Clarke… please don't… not safe.” Lexa whimpered, her head growing foggier as she gave into the sleep she hadn't allowed herself since she slipped and said the words that broke Clarke. 

“That's it! What the hell is going on in here!” Octavia barked furious, wearing nothing more than boyshorts and a sports bra, sporting a small tent, clearly infuriated that something took her away from her omega, and apparently when things were just about to get kinky, given the handcuffs in her right palm. 

“I'm going out!” Clarke announced again before attempting to push her way past Octavia. 

“Woah there girl! Watch out!” Octavia grabbed Clarke not letting her past. “You're way too drunk to be going anywhere.” 

“I don't wanna hear it!” Clarke huffed, fighting angrily. 

“You might be strong, but I'm not letting you go out right now, that isn't safe.” Octavia laughed growing almost light-hearted for half a second before she spotted Lexa. “What the fuck did you do!” 

“Let me go!” 

“Lexa are you ok!?” Octavia cried out worried.

“Uugh?” Lexa stirred, almost able to wake to her name rousing her. “Clarke?” 

“Fucking Christ Clarke! What did you do!” Octavia snapped.

“Let me go!” 

“That's it!” Octavia lifted Clarke with ease, picking her up and plopping her down on the bed, cuffing her down to ensure she could not escape. 

“You have no right! Let me go!”

Octavia had not even a single one-thousandth the patience Lexa had for the drunkard's shit. In one swift motion, she slapped the drunk right off Clarke's face.

The alpha was stunned, caught up on the shock of being struck so suddenly, the rush of adrenaline sobering her even if only for a moment. “Wha-”

“That's it! I'm done with your shit!” 

“Huh?” 

“Look at me!” Octavia demanded, taking Clarke's jaw forcefully. “You need to stop!”

“I don't wanna.” Clarke huffed offhandedly. 

“Really! Look at what you did!” Octavia forced Clarke to look to Lexa, still passed out and collapsed. 

“I… I!” 

“Yeah you did. Now get your fucking act together! In the meantime, I'm gonna go take her to resident doctor. You better hope she is ok. Because whatever happens to her, it's your fault. She needed her alpha and you weren't there! You just struck and struck and hurt her!” Octavia released Clarke's head furious. 

“I!” Clarke attempted to speak up as she watched Octavia leave for her friend, helping her up. 

“You know! I once really thought you were an alpha! Willing to put your mate above all else. Now I'm not really sure.” 

End of Chapter 45