0369 - Rainier Wolfcastle

Rainier appears in the McBain clip, although his real name is not revealed here. Also, he looks...like this.

Front facing Simpson characters are uncommon, and Wolfcastle isn't a natural fit for it - but at this point they were certainly not planning on him becoming a major recurring character. Further McBain clips can be seen this season in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" and "The War of the Simpsons", and then later in "Saturdays of Thunder" and "Last Exit to Springfield". All these clips, when edited together, form a surprisingly coherent narrative, typical of an 80s action movie. And, luckily, someone has edited it together, so I don't have to figure out how!

He has a handful of other minor appearance as a celebrity, but as far as I can tell, Rainier Wolfcastle's name is not used until the season finale of season 4 - "Krusty Gets Kancelled". Here, they make it clear that this is the actor who plays McBain.

For a while, McBain is not used in the show again, because of an actual 1991 film using that name. Introducing Wolfcastle as himself in the show allows them to keep using the movie star character without any potential legal issues or confusion with the Christopher Walken classic.

I watched McBain because I am dedicated to my research. I'll be honest with you: it's pretty unremarkable! It's not good, but not bad enough to be a wild ride. Seeing practical effects and real explosions was a novelty, but Christopher Walken gives an uncharacteristically buttoned down performance, and it's overall pretty sloppy. When we remember the action films of the 80s with high regard, we're thinking of the pinnacles of cinema like Die Hard, Aliens and Predator, forgetting about the dozens of forgettable McBains that look and sound like a big dumb action movie, but have no spirit. The McBain of the Simpsons universe looks like a lot more fun.

Up until "Krusty Gets Kancelled", one could reasonably assume that the actor playing McBain is actually Arnold Schwarzenegger, in the same way the Siskel and Ebert characters aren't not Siskel and Ebert. I suppose for posterity's sake I should say that Wolfcastle is a parody of Arnie, down to the accent, but if you hadn't figured that out in the past 30 years I don't know what to tell ya.

After this, Rainier is used fairly regularly. Despite representing middle-America in many ways, Springfield often bears most direct resemblance to Los Angeles simply because the show is written there, and the writers write what they know. While it's unlikely that a major movie star would live in a small town like this, he's a useful part of the toolkit when the show wants to comment on Hollywood acting and lifestyle. Sometimes Rainier lives in Springfield, sometimes he doesn't, but the point is he's always relatively accessible and within the Simpsons' community. By season 9, Homer has gone from watching movies featuring this major star to sharing a gym with him ("King of the Hill"):

I don't know about you, but I don't often share a gym with a movie star. Then again, I don't go to the gym.

The Wolfcastle mythology is expanded on here and there (especially when they want to make a sly Arnie joke), but for the most part the character is pretty consistent - except, perhaps for his outfit. Most Simpsons characters have a pretty standardised outfit (think of Wiggum in his police uniform or Moe in his apron), but Rainier gets to appear in different clothes often. Sadly, most of them aren't interesting enough to be done as "bonuses", but we'll see if any stick out over time.

He recovers from full body acid burns relatively well.

This post is part of my "Every Simpsons Character Ever" series. For a list of my rules in this project, click here.