Noz's Big Dumb Journal Time: Flerpty Floopin

Thank you, Pexels, for allowing me to avoid having to use a photo of myself once again.

Another month has escaped me.
I hate it.
I hate it so damn much.

August is truly the crappiest month. The snake on the plane. The "Oh hey I'm still summer technically but also fuck you the year is almost over!" sneaky, lying little bitch of the year and I'm absolutely annoyed that it's already over.

What I hate most is that this is the time of year I start to get all weird and reflective, and I realize just how little I've gotten done because I've been spending too much time drowning in social media, fretting about what I have to do and wondering how I'm going to accomplish my goals when that time would be better spent just fucking accomplishing them already. I did manage to finish a couple of large commissions that I'd been worrying about since early in the year, so that was nice. But I have a whole bunch that I still have to do. And I somehow have to get the money together for that car I need to try and get before December so I can see my parents for the first time in like four years. And start saving for a house. And get my ass to a dentist to take care of my terrible luxury bones. And other things. And it's hard when I feel like my whole life is just kind of slowly unraveling around me still.

But hey. I finished something. It's a step.

Another step I want to take is to be clearer about my goals, both on here and to myself. Normally I try to shut up about projects I want to start so that I have more motivation to actually do them. (I'm sure most of you know about the study concerning how you get the same Dopamine shot from talking about your goals as you do actually accomplishing them. And if you don't, here's a thing you can read.) Being silent about them on here doesn't really work if I still blab about them to friends, though, which is a thing that I do. So I end up with things on my plate like the zine, or the stickers I've been trying to do for years I get to the point where I think they look okay but then something complicates the process and any anticipation I had for finishing the job just instantly leaves the room. Same goes for all of the other projects I've started and left half-finished like that musical infinity mirror frame I was going to make.

I'm tired of tripping over myself, dammit.

So consider this an inventory of sorts.

Shit I've Started That I Need to Finish That Isn't a Commission:

• That Witch Nozura art that I want to turn into a standee. Preferably for Halloween this year.
• ZINE. FUCK SHIT DAMN.
• New websites/commission price lists. The NSFW site is almost done, I just need to finish the main page (it currently consists of bacon ipsum filler and it's an eyesore) and finalize my Terms of Service which is still a confused mess. The SFW site is still heavily in progress, but I'm a little less concerned with it since I tend to get more interaction from my adult work.
• This Vin keychain that I really love but it's fallen down the same hole as the Nozura standee.
• Stickers, man. Stickers. More on that later.

Shit I'm Definitely Doing Soon™:

• Patreon refresh. Specifically, tier adjustments, a main page refresh so people actually know what I do here, plus some new graphics. I'll probably end up rebranding this whole thing to the Noz Draws name since I think it's mostly the adult work people are here for. But also-
• Ko-fi presence. I want to take subscriptions there on a lesser scale. Just as a place for people who only want to see the SFW stuff, aka the Fusspot side of my work. Subscribers on Patreon would get everything that I make. Ko-fi would just get the stuff that doesn't feature boobs flying free everywhere, at a reduced rate.
• Gumroad refresh. I'm still annoyed at the CEO, but the platform itself is okay enough. It's going to take me a while to get caught back up with all of the bundles I haven't posted on there, but that'll just have to be something that I do gradually. Still don't trust it as a Patreon replacement though, so Gumroad subscriptions won't be a thing for the foreseeable future.
• Patron-Exclusive Streams. On Picarto. Probably the second or third something or other of every/every other month. I'm not sure what it'd entail. Either dedicated personal sketch time which I haven't done in aaaaaaaaaaages, or possibly a poll result a la vote for the fandom/OC/whatever you want me to draw. I'm open to suggestions. I just know I need more motivation to stream on days that aren't Friday or Saturday so maybe this will help.

Shit I'm "Thinking About"™:

• Reopening regular commissions. Don't know when. Don't know how. I'm putting up my price lists, but that's only to give people an idea of what to expect when it does happen. I still have a big group to finish, plus a 3-person commission and a bunch of other things that are still hanging out on my Trello. But I do know that I really want to steer myself away from the rush commissions in the coming months because I'm becoming less and less able to handle it, mentally.
• Merch sponsorship: Sounds weird on its face, but basically, if there's a canon character I'm okay with drawing that someone really wants to see a sticker or print of, they can commission it at a slightly reduced rate, plus they'll get like ten copies of the item included in the cost. The rest, I'd put in my shop or add to a merch tier or what have you. I'm still not sure on the details but it's something I've been considering.
• More personal work. More sketches, more story shit, more shitty comics, more anything having to do with my OCs and the development thereof. I've wanted to do this for literal years but I keep telling myself I haven't got the time. (Spoiler: I've got the time, I've just been hellbent on thinking I don't because who the fuck knows why.)
• Itch.io. Similar to Gumroad, it'd be another place to distribute adult work, but they're a digital-only platform so they're less of a priority for me right now.

I had more I wanted to say, but it's already taken me like two hours to write this far while resisting the urge to go back and nitpick the ever-living shit out of everything I've typed. My eyes are burning and I don't want to look at this screen anymore.

I just want to feel like I'm making worthwhile things that aren't just rush commissions again. I feel like I've pigeonholed myself and I don't love it.

Anyway, expect some polls, probably. Nothing written in stone, but I do want to get a feel for what everyone is interested in seeing.

And thank you for staying with me. Every month I'm honestly amazed to see that people are still here. I'm just sorry I'm not consistently giving you what I think I should be.

💜