IS IT OK FOR AN OLDER MAN TO BANG AN 18-YEAR-OLD? - PODCAST #40
Added 2022-04-04 22:48:52 +0000 UTCTo pork or not to pork, that is the question. Should the age of consent be raised beyond 18? If so, where and how would you draw the line?
Comments
Legally whatever morally no
MyNamesAberry
2023-08-08 01:10:49 +0000 UTCI don't find it wrong to have relationship with an 18 year old. But I heard a relationship expert before that the advisable age gap is around seven years for practical reasons (e.g. keeping up with your hobbies such as hiking).
Tyrone John
2022-10-10 17:11:11 +0000 UTCBang bang? Like, in airsoft? xD
RedSky
2022-06-17 19:31:33 +0000 UTC“Bang” ? 🥴
Shannon
2022-06-11 22:32:21 +0000 UTCI had a 28yr old boyfriend @ 14. I moved out around 15, went to work and at that point I believe whatever I chose to do after leaving my parents home, I was totally responsible for, before that no. I know a couple who she was 14 and he was 21, 10 or so kids later, they are still married. So I'm not sure about any of this. The fella I knew was a biker, he won the pot for having the youngest girl friend, I didn't know that unit much later. I'm on the fence about this whole subject. I can't feel empathy for pedophiles and I'm not sure they can be helped. Let God deal with it later, he's the judge.
Theresa Ohman
2022-05-31 14:38:18 +0000 UTCMet my husband at 19 he was 28. 6 years later I was snooping cus he was giving bad vibes and found tons of Google chat convos of him conversing with 13 yo girls trying to get them to have sex for money. I 100% believe older men who go after 18 yo are pedophiles. Age difference is fine, but not when there is still a teenager in the mix.
Eek K
2022-05-29 16:34:08 +0000 UTCI was with someone when I was 19, they were 34. (I am 30 now). The relationship lasted 6 years and it was probably the most traumatic thing I’ve ever been through. They definitely controlled me and used age as some sort of power. I would now only seek maybe a year or two younger than me, or up to 5 years older. Great podcast by the way. Just making my way through the ones I’ve let build up so I can binge watch!
Amy Taylor
2022-05-01 11:54:29 +0000 UTCI’m 20, almost 21. My boyfriend is 39 (almost 40) we started dating when I was 18 and he was 36. We’re best friends and we have the best relationship. We truly balance each other out. I think it depends on how people in these age gap relationships handle the dynamic.
Lauren Moreno
2022-04-30 21:28:24 +0000 UTCNEVER give in to pressure!
Tim West
2022-04-30 03:19:32 +0000 UTCWell, it can't help but be arbitrary no matter where you draw the line. I wouldn't mind the age of consent raised to 18 for the reasons Anxiety War states. And I personally wouldn't date anyone under 21 because I simply would not feel comfortable dating someone who isn't old enough to drink. I would discourage it, but I wouldn't outlaw it. After that, if you're both of sound mind, an adult is an adult with all the privileges and responsibilities that come with it. Now abusing or stalking an adult of sound mind is still illegal regardless of age difference. And while it's virtually impossible to outlaw manipulative behavior per se, we are all responsible for our ethics and the setting of boundaries. But I don't see age difference per se as an issue. My mom's close friend since elementary school divorced after a short-lived marriage to a man her own age and at 29 married a man who was 59. They were together for about 30 years until he died, and their marriage was a very healthy one.
Tim West
2022-04-30 02:34:31 +0000 UTCI hear that. I was 14 and dated a guy 28 in a motorcycle club.. everyone treated me so good....but now that I look back and found out I was the prize that year. Pot went to the guy with the youngest steady chick. I said screw it when he got locked up for dwi.....amazing what you learn as you grow.
Theresa Ohman
2022-04-29 15:04:57 +0000 UTCEh, legally prob not but I def think REALLY young adults like 18-21 should be 'morally' off limits to much older partners. After 21, I don't think it matters as much since there is more experience as an adult at that point. Or maybe have 21 as an absolute age of consent while 18-20 year olds have slightly more lenient Romeo & Juliet laws that protect them, maybe capping the older partner at 25 in that case. I know that's kinda arbitrary but that's what I'd feel personally comfortable with.
JUSTIN WHYTE
2022-04-27 23:04:42 +0000 UTCSHORT ANSWER: .....BARF! LONG ANSWER: The emotional intelligence and life experience gap in age really plays a part in it. MOST of the people I see who have a big age gap between partners tends to NEVER be equal. One is always the "adult" with wanting power/control in the relationship and unapologetically capitalizing on and sometimes blatantly manipulating how new and naive the young partner is. No likey. I also understand regardless, there's always going to be a legal/consenting age. Even if it was all the way to 25-years-old, there's STILL always going to be creeps right there to swoop in and get them after they're barely legal.
Dolly
2022-04-25 20:03:49 +0000 UTCI always forget that and it always re-grosses me out! Always creepy when older people specifically like young and naive people to take advantage of.
Dolly
2022-04-25 19:36:28 +0000 UTCWeird xD I'm a Christian so it's way more easier and clearer, save sex for marriage and the problem is solved! Consent and age restriction laws are blurry as heck, the only way to truly consent is signing your wedding papers.
BarkBark
2022-04-22 02:26:50 +0000 UTCI definitely agree when they are purposely seeking a teen, it can get weird.
Hailey Cattell
2022-04-20 06:54:40 +0000 UTCSo, I kind of have an odd question, then I’ll give my own preference statement: you once mentioned somewhere that you felt Onision didn’t do anything wrong (or something along those lines), but he essentially was grooming people to the literal minimum age of consent. His partner Kai was groomed at a very young age as was Sarah… regardless of when they were physically intimate, everything he did skirts on the line of legality… so would you still say he was not in the wrong, or does your current stance according to this video change that view? I personally enjoy dating people closer to my age. We have more in common - we grew up to the same trends and became adults to the same changes. My boyfriend and I are about 2 months apart (age 30), meanwhile his twin brother is dating someone who is in their early twenties… and you can just tell they don’t understand a lot of the same references, jokes and are generally less mature. Granted, so am I, but I have a lot of life experience in comparison. I think within 5 years above and below is my personal preference, but I do think 18/19ish might be alright depending on the person. Anything younger is 100% unacceptable imo. I personally didn’t even feel like a real adult until my mid twenties, lol.
Tina Vee
2022-04-20 05:46:51 +0000 UTCI've been thinking about this. And I don't have a certain type in regards to looks into more off personality and then their looks. I've always had trouble finding someone that doesn't go out to parties and smoke because I'm not into that and trust me you don't want to drink alcohol it's nasty I always felt pressured to drink it.
Melissa lynn
2022-04-18 22:55:22 +0000 UTCI mean Leonardo cuts off all his girlfriends at 25. So he definitely has a type lol
Becca Brown
2022-04-18 21:30:03 +0000 UTCUnfortunately I was one of those younger chicks that banged 40+ year old men and thought it was totally okay and I was in control. I grew up in the 70’s with 2nd wave feminism; I thought women were god and men were dumb. I had to find out the hard way that I was being used and abused. And when I outlived my usefulness I was thrown away like trash, replaced by younger females, or women who were mature and made the older guys see the light and settle down, have kids etc. eventually I got smart and I married a very nice man, less exciting but stable and we made a couple of kids, and 20 years later still together. Older men, and older women, exploit young girls and boys. It’s exploitation. Most of the time there is probably no lasting damage, and honestly I have some great memories of jet setting with older guys around the world…, but I hope my daughters will not live the same. I don’t talk about this to them until I might find it necessary down the road.
Nash Montana
2022-04-17 19:20:29 +0000 UTCThat's what I agree with. I feel like there's more to sexual relationships than 'consent'. Of course consent plays a huge role in legitimising a relationship but I feel like this idea is often bastardised to completely put aside that people are different stages of their lives. I can understand why an 18yo would find it attractive to date someone much older because it looks like they have their lives together e.g., they have their own place, a job and can buy them things which all sounds very attractive to them. It seems like they get into these relationships because of something missing in their lives and thus project this idea that they want a loving relationship when in fact all their want is stability (which they can get without a relationship but they don't know that yet). And I think people need to be more honest rather than act like relationships are all about connections and love, because a lot of relationships form because of past trauma or projections. Like you, I don't judge, but I still find it very concerning that a grown person would want to find a connection with someone who is fresh out of school.
Allya Mormont
2022-04-17 11:28:50 +0000 UTCI'm 22 right now and I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who is 17. I can't judge your situation because I am not aware of it, but a 5 year difference and dating a teenager is actually very worrisome for me. Your mum encouraging it is also a huge red flag too... I don't think people on Tik Tok were wrong to call it grooming because it sounds like it tbh.
Allya Mormont
2022-04-17 11:23:31 +0000 UTCthat's weird sorry...
Allya Mormont
2022-04-17 11:19:00 +0000 UTCHere's my take. When I was 19 I dated a 34 year old. I was a consenting adult. However he misused his power over me and it was a traumatic time. Sometimes it's true love. Sometimes it's just a man who knows he has power in this dynamic. It depends on the folks I guess, but always be wary. Cliches are cliches for reasons.
astronoodle vibin
2022-04-16 04:35:47 +0000 UTCI’m 60 and I’ve had friends at work in their late 20s and I couldn’t imagine in a million years being involved with them other than as coworkers. They are even college educated, smart, blah blah and the thought of it grosses me out. I can see the maturity and life experience differences and it’s gross
Melanie
2022-04-15 16:36:47 +0000 UTCLol it does sound bad. I wouldn’t expect that from you. I mean, look at it from a developmental perspective. Over 25 you have education and life experience and an 18 year old generally doesn’t so there’s a power differential.
Melanie
2022-04-15 16:32:13 +0000 UTCAge assumes enough maturity to make that choice but it’s often not the case.
Melanie
2022-04-15 16:25:01 +0000 UTCI think the photos thing comes with a presumption that they will distribute it to others which I’m sure happens a lot when they break up.
Melanie
2022-04-15 16:23:41 +0000 UTCIt’s definitely predatory or the older person is usually not where they should be with age gaps like 15 years or older. I remember being 20 and my brain still wasn’t full developed. Now that I’m 27 I can see that. So although I was legal the power dynamic could have been off. I actually dated someone 8 years older than myself from 20 till recently. It wasn’t predatory but I would say he probably isn’t at the level of women his age. Which could be to what lead him to identify with Myself.
Anna
2022-04-15 01:26:00 +0000 UTCI think age/2+7 is a good rule of thumb.
Jonas Köllinger
2022-04-14 21:55:14 +0000 UTCI always say teen is a teen it should be illegal till there 20, in my opinion.
Cayla Jacobs
2022-04-14 00:55:37 +0000 UTCI was 19 and started chatting with a 39 year old. went on a couple dates. two. we never did anything sexual on the first date. come second date he kissed me but the way he did it was very uncomfortable, grabbed me under an old bridge and scared me. never saw him again after that. predatory vibes. never chatted with anyone that much older than me since.
Dawson
2022-04-11 16:52:25 +0000 UTCYou may have some things in common, but you are at a completely different stage of life. That being said, I am not one to judge anyone's relationship so long as it is 2 consenting adults. Who cares. That is just my own personal feelings on past experiences.
Alicia
2022-04-10 20:41:05 +0000 UTCI think 18 as age of consent is perfectly fine. When I was younger(18-22) I dated a lot of guys approx 20 years older. I wouldn't call them child predators by any means. At 18 you are a consenting adult and there has to be a line somewhere in terms of morality/legalities. Now looking back, I am resentful of these men I dated. No, I do not feel victimized or taking advantage of. I just feel that they are selfish for wanting a girlfriend 20 years younger
Alicia
2022-04-10 20:40:03 +0000 UTCone of my friends (18) dated my select softball coach (24) , even though this was legal, the power dynamic made it questionable. They were both consenting adults, but the coach/ student dynamic made it wrong (in my opinion).
Aly
2022-04-10 07:19:36 +0000 UTCthis is a difficult topic. I agree that 18 is legal, but i also feel that large age gaps and unhealthy power dynamics can contribute to abusive relationships. I feel that those situations are abusive, NOT predatory.
Aly
2022-04-10 07:13:08 +0000 UTCWhen I was 17 I started seeing a guy that was 22. I had already graduated high school and was a few months away from being 18. I made a TikTok about it and it blew up. Hundreds of people were freaking out and calling him a groomer. Funny thing is that my mom is the one that encouraged me to talk to him and I made all the first moves. 3 years later and we aren’t together anymore but I still don’t see anything wrong with it and our age had nothing to do with why we didn’t work out. People throw around the word “groomer” way too much.
Liz
2022-04-08 23:07:59 +0000 UTCI liked this topic and glad you talked about it. Also, have you considered making a Discord server for those who would be interested? Possibly could discourage people trying to talk to you elsewhere?
Cyro Phipps
2022-04-08 13:11:20 +0000 UTCLoving the video as always, but you look beyond exhausted and I worry about you. I hope you consider yourself in the midst of all this and take some time off when you feel like you need it, you do such an amazing job and you have helped so many people, but please please take care of yourself as well. You matter just as much as anyone.
Junesong
2022-04-08 09:13:19 +0000 UTCI appreciate your little comments and when you laugh at yourself. ♥ Thank you for always making quality, entertaining & enlightening content! Keep up the amazing work! And also side comment, I think that is freaking RAD that you have NEVER drank alcohol!!!
Kristen DILLIGAF
2022-04-06 18:43:18 +0000 UTCReally destroyed the mean blue hair girl grrrrrrr
Matyas Vyoral
2022-04-06 17:29:36 +0000 UTCHave you ever contemplated doing live content ? Or do you think too many things would go wrong.
chloe g
2022-04-06 07:01:09 +0000 UTC18yo in most of the states is the legal age of consent. Even if I were 90yo, I wouldn't give two cents what anyone would think if I were with an 18yo
Ward Holsey
2022-04-06 02:34:36 +0000 UTCHey, I'm in my 30ies and still going out, hahaha, doesn't mean I'm in middle life crisis. (writes comment in denial 🤣)
Sara with an H
2022-04-05 20:20:43 +0000 UTCI don't care if a man is attractive or not if the dude is acting creepy then that guy is a fucking creep.not all women are shallow we could easily say only men want age of consent to be eight TEEN BECAUSE they only have one thing on their mind lol. EDIT: zach,lets say your dad says hes leaving your mom for someone else...then you find out the girl hes leaving her for is 18 years old now...would you be comfortable if your dad decided to marry this 18 year old you would have to call someone younger than you your step mom.
Melissa lynn
2022-04-05 17:47:28 +0000 UTCI’m 30 and my girlfriend is 19 soooo Hahaa
steven cassano
2022-04-05 16:47:09 +0000 UTCI agree with the point about that raising the age of consent wouldnt be reasonable because exploring your own sexuality is absolutely normal as a 14-16 year old, in my opinion. However, I do think that there is huge problem in general in society where we tend to glamourize "Lolita culture". One have to Wonder why on earth there is a difference between being 17 and 10 months old compared to being 18 years old, mentally.. If a 27+ something specifically is interested to date a "teen" then I do think it is predatory behavior, because it comes awfully close to choosing a sexpartner so much younger to make sure you always will have the upper hand, the control. Its not a healthy view of sharing anything with consent. My boyfriend is actually 11 years older than me but we met when I was 22 not 18. I was kind of weirded out when I found out his age because it wasnt obvious to me that he was that much older. But when we both took the time to get to know eachother a little we were both attracted to eachother personalitywise and the relationship grew from there. My point being, the problem isnt the age of consent, the problem is that "some" people seem to fixate on "I want them as young as possible" which is problematic no matter the age of consent.
Fialisaluttan
2022-04-05 13:12:51 +0000 UTCHaha, that is funny! :D
Zach Sweers
2022-04-05 12:38:25 +0000 UTC18 is fine. There’s plenty of 18 yr olds who live on their own or are away at college. Decision making is something at 18 you should be responsible for. Raising the age simply alleviates their responsibility as mature individuals. At some point, poor decision making is a lesson learned. Personally for me, as I’ve gotten older, the age of whom I’m attracted to has aged also. I don’t understand being attracted to someone significantly younger, but it does exist.
Shaun Singletary
2022-04-05 11:48:50 +0000 UTCi think as soon as an 18 year old gets out of high school then thats completely normal
Joey Kushelevskiy
2022-04-05 06:44:48 +0000 UTCI don't get it.
Melissa lynn
2022-04-05 03:29:05 +0000 UTCIt may not be illegal but if you’re a 30 or 40 something year old man going after an 18 year old then you’re definitely a weirdo and a groomer. Many of us were 18 in high school.
Olivia Geisler
2022-04-05 02:52:09 +0000 UTCI don't consider it being a predator, but why are these 40 year olds hitting on 18 year olds? What can you possibly have in common with them? Or it just to hit it and quit it? I remember when I was 18-20, I was a magnet to 40+ year Olds. To me it was creepy and I was very unsure of myself and mentally not mature to handle someone much older than me. Now that I'm 29, I don't attract anyone older than me , but get this I have 20 year olds asking me out which I find odd as well 😅
Diana
2022-04-05 01:12:02 +0000 UTCI also agree with the maturity thing. Some girls are vastly different. I was sorta dumb at 18, ngl, but i still wouldn't let someone more than 10+ years date me. Now though at 23, i would date anyone under 50. I feel like maturity and life paths/experience varies so wildly, that after age 21 then its fair. I just wouldn't date anyone over 50 until i was around 30-35 because that's when your life interests are usually changing. Also i notice that men in their 30s or 40s like me sometimes. I dont feel weird about it unless he is on a different maturity level or power level clearly. I've dated men in their 40s because i never noticed predator like tendencies, he didnt objectify my youth, didnt just want sex, etc.
Ironicbanana
2022-04-05 00:25:18 +0000 UTCIf the age of consent is 16, then yes, I am in favor of increasing it, but certainly not increasing it from 18.
Zach Sweers
2022-04-05 00:18:31 +0000 UTCYeah I can't say I disagree with anything you said. Interesting seeing your position change since your appearance on State of the Youtube; IIRC you were in favor of increasing the age of consent.
Slow Loris
2022-04-05 00:14:32 +0000 UTCLike in Arrested Development. MR. F
Redmond Dyer
2022-04-04 23:53:19 +0000 UTCimo if they are old enough to be your dad/mom like 16+ years older than you even if you’re 18 it’s weird asf why can’t you find someone your own age?? what could you possibly have in common with someone that much younger than you??
Ashleedle
2022-04-04 23:50:28 +0000 UTCNeed to consider if the person is disabled bc you could be 36 but technically be 6 mentally like the age should depend on them and their ability etc
Georgia
2022-04-04 23:47:14 +0000 UTC18 year old adult: i consent another legal age adult: i consent some busy body/blue hair roastie: i dont
Anon E. Moose
2022-04-04 23:14:20 +0000 UTCIM at work ....but yeah I think it should be raised to 20 because eight TEEN.
Melissa lynn
2022-04-04 22:56:11 +0000 UTCcan't wait to listen!
Brigette
2022-04-04 22:51:31 +0000 UTC
