tobirama/aiko HateFlirt valentines special pt 1

set in a vague future where they are in an established Konohagakure and her cult is going really well.

“Is this an assassination attempt?” Tobirama asked his sister-in-law. Mito’s attendant tittered at what she thought was a joke. Mito herself merely gave him a closed-lip smile with her usual laughing eyes.

“Of course not,” she demurred, as if she didn’t see his reasoning.

He raised his eyebrows and waited her out.

She waited in silence. Her thick eye makeup made it impossible to read the microexpressions on the corners of her eyes.

Tobirama lost the battle of wills- rather, he determined there was no benefit to winning it. He spoke first. “The priestess has historically not been fond of my company,” he said stiffly.

She had told him that she would ‘send him in two 1kg capacity paper sacks direct express to hell if he dared speak to her’, whatever that meant. He didn’t have to understand the nuance to accept the threat.

Mito held out the seal he would need for the mission, unrelenting as always. “I trust you to pass our regards to the Water Country Daimyo,” she said, not answering his concern or addressing his point at all. “The priestess requires an escort as a demonstration of our close personal ties, and of course we cannot send the clan head on this venture.”

Because Mito wanted her husband to live, he understood her to mean.

So he was to be sacrificed. Tobirama took the seal of office and bowed to his sister in law, resigned to it.

He met his unlikely partner at the edge of the new city they had established. She still wore her usual miko clothes, although no one would insist upon it. It was easy enough to spot her where she waited, head bent over something on a scroll.

He wondered what she was reading.

She looked up and the scroll disappeared in the blink of an eye. Where she put it, he could not say.

“Senju-san,” she greeted, tone exactly as polite as the greeting was not.

He gave her a full bow in return and a deferential, “Good morning, Aiko-Ise-Sama.”

Her lips twitched at the full title. She glanced at the road behind him, saw no one else was coming, and seemed to accept his presence.

Good. The formality had worked to endear him to her ego. That was his best tactic.

They checked out with the security members at the grand village gate. The Uchiha woman who took their names was clearly starstruck at being in such close proximity with the cult leader goddess. Tobirama hung back modestly and inclined his head in silent thanks when they were cleared to leave. He left on the priestess’s heels.

They walked without speaking for quite a while, hearing only birdsong and wind in the leaves around them. It was a pleasant walk. However, they were scheduled to have 9 days of travel. Tobirama eyed the priestess without fully looking at her and considered speaking up.

It was necessary to spend each night at the correct way station. It was nearly ceremonial to stop at each place and have them put up the wooden marker with their names to proclaim that the wealthy and powerful were traveling at the Daimyo’s behest.

However, the Priestess did not truly require the civilian pace.

“What is it?”

Tobirama suppressed the urge to cringe. “I wondered if walking is the best use of Aiko-Ise-Sama’s time,” he answered levelly.

She stopped in her tracks. “It’s not,” she said. “Carry me.”

Tobirama’s brain stopped working.

The priestess was looking at him, a haughty and mean little smile playing on her lips. She tilted her face to the side expectantly.

It was a trap. Obviously he had referred to her ability to cross great distances in an instant, but she did not like being disagreed with. If he corrected her supposed misunderstanding, she would retaliate.

“...As you desire,” he said, and picked her up in the way that seemed least disrespectful in the moment. She was- hm, she was lighter than he expected, braced against his chest with his arms around her back and under her thighs. He could maintain this for a while-

“I want to sit on your shoulder like a parrot,” she ordered.

Parrot? What is a parrot? Why would it perch upon a man? Was it some kind of predator?

The rest of the instruction was as clear as the implications were troubling. Tobirama lifted the silly goddess up and perched her on his left shoulder. He held his left arm up to gently brace her back and barely resisted the urge to secure her legs with his right. That seemed too intimate by far.

“There’s a good view up here.” The priestess kicked him lightly with her heels.

Tobirama suppressed the automatic oof, though he could do nothing for the thud.

That was apparently how the priestess desired to conduct the entire mission. They reached their first waystation on time. She thankfully deigned to slip down and walk on her own feet where they would be seen. Tobirama subtly rotated his aching shoulder and tried to stretch out his neck without being noticed. If she sensed weakness, she would act upon it.

They spend the night in a disconcertingly normal fashion. The priestess casually slipped into a variation of her usual public-facing façade, a guise of a more demure and modest woman. She charmed the hostess with delicate manners and shy body language while Tobirama tried not to frown at her.

She was terrible. She was simply terrible. He could not even dislike her in public, because people would misunderstand him to be the cause of the problem. The injustice rankled. Why did no one else see the truth?

He excused himself as early as he could for the men’s bathing quarters and tried to soak away the unusual muscle strain with hot water. The Priestess wasn’t heavy, especially since she seemed to travel with nothing but the clothes she wore. But any weight carried in an unusual manner for hours was a taxing addition to his travel bag.

The next morning the Priestess emerged for the morning meal well-rested, with her terrible soft hands and her faux-sweet face. Tobirama glowered into his ochazuke.

When they departed, she gave all the correct courtesies and shyly accepted the goodwill of the staff and locals who had come to see them off. They were delayed by the crowding of her fans, some of whom asked for her blessing.

He was intensely relieved when they finally walked out of the town and back onto the empty road. It was an unpleasant surprise when the priestess stopped mid-stride and sighed. “I am weary,” she lied piteously. She directed her unnecessarily large eyes at him. “Might I prevail upon your arms again?”

Tobirama gnashed his teeth together. “Certainly,” he gritted out, and lifted her onto the right shoulder this time.

Hell. He was already in hell.