Magic Eater Ch. 3 (Unedited)

Magic Eater

By: Bubbajack

Editors/Co-Authors: Icysnowsage, Antagonist, Loamy Coffee, First Hassan/Darklord331

Special Consultant: Heliosion

Special thanks go out to my Super Donors: Alexander Murry, Bobby Glass, JackHanmer, Jareth Norris, Martin T. Aranda, NeroSolas, Selmephren, and Lucas White my sole Supreme Tier donor.

Ch.3: A Separating Sorting.

The Hogwarts Express was a thing of beauty in Soul's mind. The scarlet steam engine sat there waiting on the other side of Platform 9 3/4, where it was hidden from the Muggle world. As parents said goodbye to their children. He was looking for a compartment to sit in for the long ride to Hogwarts. Taking up a compartment near the very back of the train, he settled himself in. Bag on one of the seats next to him to save a seat for Luna as he promised her. Blair was currently curled up in cat form and taken up the seat across from him. ‘This is pretty cool,’ he thought to himself. ‘To think, people get to ride this thing for seven years straight.’ 

“Are you excited to see this Hogwarts place too, Blair?” He asked the cat girl.

Demurely opening one eye, Blair replied. “It certainly does sound interesting, doesn't it? Looking forward to learning more than just my regular pumpkin magic, I suppose. If they'll even accept me as a student.”

Soul waved off her concerns.“I'm sure they will. If anything, I'll vouch for you.”

Blair, however, was a bit less confident than he was, asking dubiously, “Are you sure that would even work even if you did vouch for me, Soul-kun?”

“Blair, I am wearing two of the rings of the founders of the freaking castle. I'd like to think that would count for something, right?” Blair nodded, conceding the point to him, “That's true, but that doesn't mean you're just going to get free reign of the place, I mean. It still has teachers and staff and a headmaster. It's not like the castle itself is sentient and it will obey you like a puppy.”

Soul had to admit she was probably right, but he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of admitting such, “Well, we'll just have to find out and see when we get there.”

Stretching and giving a yawn, Blair continued, “Personally, Blair hopes you're right and she will be able to attend school with everyone else. She always got bored during the day. Waiting for you in Maka-chan to come home. That's why she took to working at Chupacabras. And even then it was kind of boring after a while. Listening to Spirit-kun’s sob stories about how much he just loves his wife and daughter, but he constantly comes here to cheat on them. The freaking cad. I knew Tom cats that had more integrity than he did.”

“Nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks he's a scumbag,” Soul said with a bit of a grin. “But still ixnay on the soul say. Comprende? We don't need the others finding out about my previous affiliations.”

“I know, I know. But these ears of mine are more than just for decoration, you know?” Blair informed her Master as she wiggled her cat ears. “I'd be able to tell if anyone were coming.”

Soul sighed and nodded an apology towards his familiar or whatever she styled herself as nowadays. He wasn't even sure if she was something of a fiancee at this point, “That's true. Sorry, Blair, I'm just a little bit… tense when it comes to that part of my life.”

“Do you miss her? Maka I mean?” Blair asked quizzically, with sympathy flecked in her tone.

Tilting his head back till he was staring at the ceiling of the compartment, Soul sighed out, “Every single day. In fact, I think I might have been in love with her.”

Blair wasn't all that surprised to hear this, But she was impressed that he actually admitted it, “And you never told her?”

He laughed hollowly, “I didn't feel like I was good enough for her, I still don't think I am.”

“If anything, I don't think Maka was good enough for Soul.” Blair said, giving an haughty sniff. “Soul-kun was from a family of famous musicians. Soul-kun was the one who was always leading when Maka-chan was fighting, Soul-kun was the one who got hurt. And Maka-chan? She was the one who reaped all the benefits and praise. But she was the one going, woe, always me when you were the one in the hospital.”

Tilting his head up from where he'd had it resting, Soul couldn't help but ask. “Uh, Blair, do you hate Maka or something?”

But the cat girl just shook her head and replied. “Blair loves Maka-chan, but Blair hates the fact that Maka is so stupid she can't see something good right in front of her face…” She paused for a moment before admitting honestly, “In all honesty, if you looked at Blair the way you would look at Maka when she wasn't looking, Blair or any girl would be very happy indeed, Soul.”

Soul rubbed the back of his head, unsure how he should reply to such a blatant confession. “I’m sorry Blair, I don't know what to say to this.”

Looking him dead in the eye, the cat replied, “Give Blair a chance sometime, Soul. Give her a chance to show you how she really feels. That's all Blair really wants.”

“Are you asking me out on a date, Blair? That's not your usual MO.”

“Blair’s usual MO was waking you up butt naked doesn't seem to be working, so Blair decided to try something a little different. And yes, Blair is asking you out on a date. If Soul-kun is interested, that is?” She looked away and let the question hang, glancing at him with a single amber eye.

Soul had to admire the cat girl's courage. So he couldn't help but give her a small smile and say, “I'd like that, Blair. We'd have to figure out some time to go though. And where to go?”

A thunderous pur emanated from Blair for a moment before she replied, “Blair has heard things about Hogsmeade from Fred and George. Perhaps considering you're older than the average first year, they'll just let you go down into the village with the other third years. Maybe we can think up something then.”

Soul gave an awkward chuckle before he replied, “Maybe we'll see. If not, I'm sure we can find a nice, quiet classroom to spend some quality time in. Although I don't think that would be an ideal place for a date for either one of us, I suppose we could make that work.”

“Blair would be fine with whatever as long as she gets to spend some quality time with you,” The Nekomata replied honestly.

‘She really does like me.’ Soul thought to himself, surprised she was being so earnest. Usually she just tried to, well mate with him. Soul he was surprised she was being so genuine with him instead of flirty, which was unusual for her. But before, maybe she was just following her natural instincts as a nekomata, and now she was trying a different tract. 

Before he could question her on this, his compartment door slid open. And a group of several people he'd never met before poked their heads in. They were being led by a girl with gray eyes and platinum blonde hair that went down to her waist. She had a sort of…He didn't want to say snobby air about her, but she definitely had an air of nobility, and she carried herself in such a way that let everyone know she was important. She had two gorillas in suits flanking her, and behind her were two other girls. One that was giving off a frigid air with blonde hair and blue eyes, and the last girl had light brown almost khaki hair and emerald green eyes, and she seemed to be hopped up on sugar from how she seemed to be talking animatedly with the ice queen of the group.

“Uh, can I help you people?” Soul said, giving them all a once over.

“Um, yes, we were looking for a compartment. Are you saving seats for anyone?” the girl at the head of the group spoke. “I'm Virgo Malfoy, and this is Daphne Greengrass, Tracy Davis, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle.”

“Soul Evans, and I'm just saving a seat for a friend of mine. You can sit here if you want. Just don't sit on Blair. She'll claw your bits off if you do.”

“Kitty!” The hyper girl called Tracy Davis squealed before she picked Blair up and gave her a hug and cooed at her like she was an infant. “Ah, who is a precious girl who looks adorable in her little witch hat? You do. Yes you do. Who's an adorable little Kitty cat? You are. Yes, you are. Yes you are.” Tracy said as she sat down in Blair’s now vacated seat and gently put Blair in her lap as she gave the Cat chin scratches and calming rubs on the back.

“You'll have to forgive Tracy, Mr. Evans. She gets excited around cats.” Daphne said, her tone frigid and cool, As she sat down daintily on the other side of the compartment. Her eyes never left him. It felt like she was judging him, or measuring his worth on a scale in her mind with values that eluded Soul.

“That's fine, cats are cool, and Blair is the coolest cat I know.” Soul replied, pointedly ignoring the look Blair was sending him that said, get this crazy cat bitch away from me.

Virgo took the lead of the conversation, crossing one leg over the other before speaking up, “I haven't seen you around Hogwarts before, what house are you in? You're definitely not a Gryffindor.” 

Coughing politely into his hand, Soul replied, “Actually, I haven't been sorted yet, Lady Malfoy. I'm a bit of a late bloomer, if you can believe that. This will be my first year at Hogwarts.”

Those gray eyes widened in surprise, “A late bloomer? Those are rare.” She said diplomatically after a moment of silence. 

“You mean he's almost a squib?” Crabbe said, coughing to himself.

Virgo shot her bodyguard a sharp glare, “Shut up, Crabbe, or you're going to find yourself off my payroll.”

“Sorry, Madam, I meant no offense.” Crabbe said contritely.

“I would be offended, but I don't know what a squib is. Until recently, I was just your average everyday musician.” He lied through his teeth.

“He’s a half-squib and a mudblood on top of it. Want us to kick him out, Madam?” Goyle asked his employer.

“I have half a mind to get rid of you two dunderheads,” Virgo snapped at them, glaring at her twin apish bodyguards. “I swear you two are two halves of a whole idiot. Can't either of you open your mouths without insulting someone?”

“If they could, that would be an impressive feat in and of itself.” Daphne said haughtily.

“Oy, we're not idiots, you know.” Crabbe grunted out.

“Oh yeah, what's four plus  four divided by three?” Tracy challenged the two of them as she held Blair in her arms like a baby after she tried to jump out of her lap.

“Uhh nine?” Crabbe guessed first.

“Nine? You idiot, It's like, three or something.” Goyle grunted out an annoyance because Crabbe was making them both look bad.

“2.6 actually, but you were close, Goyle was it?” Soul answered after a moment.

“Yeah, thanks. You're good at math?”

“You kind of have to be when you're a pianist to make sure you don't get stiffed on a gig. When you're playing a concert, you have to make sure you get paid properly or you'll get ripped off in the fine print.” Soul chuckled. There had been several times where Wes had read over a contract for him before he agreed to pay or he would have gotten a little to nothing for playing a concert. He learned how to do math the hard way. When money was involved.

Virgo looked at him with newfound respect, “Money is a great motivator for learning math.”

“Yes, it is Lady Malfoy,” Soul couldn't help but agree, “Yes, it is.”

“So, Mr. Evans, what house do you think you're going to be sorted into?” Daphne couldn't help but inquire. It wasn't often Virgo took an interest in someone and the fact that she was of this anomalous young man, he now had her interest as well.

“I don't know, all the houses sound equally interesting to me. Although a friend of mine told me that Slytherin's dorm room is in the freaking dungeons? Who did they piss off to get put down there?” Soul inquired of no one in particular. “From what I've heard, Hufflepuff is somewhere near the kitchens, so they have an infinite supply of food whenever they want it. Gryffindor’s are in a tower, so they apparently at least get sunlight, and Ravenclaw also has their own personal tower? I don't know, I'm just sensing a little bit of bias here towards the Slytherins, but maybe that's just me. Like you've got a group in the kitchens, two groups with their own towers, and then the other group just gets shunted away in the basement like they're the unwanted child. Or is that just an outsider's perspective and I'm missing something?”

The Slytherins all shared a glance with each other before Daphne said, “Well, you're not exactly wrong. Slytherin House is tightly knit. It's always been them versus the other three houses, more or less.”

“So they got shitty accommodations and the other three houses essentially hate them? As if that’s not shitty enough, it's probably made even worse by this whole entire House Cup thing that gets talked about every year.”

“Where did you get all this information from anyway?” Virgo couldn't help but ask.

“Well, when I went to Gringotts, which is how I found out about all this besides my Hogwarts letter, I found out I had a distant relative. We kind of ended up spending the summer together getting to know each other, and all that. She ended up telling me what she knew of Hogwarts from the two going on three years she spent there already.”

“Oh, so she's in our year. What's her name?” Virgo couldn't help but ask, thinking she might be able to befriend this long lost relative of Soul’s and earn some brownie points with him in the process.

“Heather Rosemary Potter. She's my fourth cousin. I was quite surprised because I didn't even know I had a fourth cousin.”

‘Of all the people that had to be, it had to be that bint Potter.’ Virgo thought to herself, A grimace overtaking her face as if she had just sucked on a lemon.

“I take it you know of her.” Soul stated upon seeing the abrupt change in Virgo's visage. 

“Oh yes, how could anyone not hear of the great Heather Potter?” Virgo drawled, with spite lacing her tone. 

“I'm just going to go out on a limb here and guess that you don't get along with my dear cousin. Do you, Virgo?”

“Oh I tried, believe me. I offered to be her friend when she showed up in first year and she shot me down in front of everyone. Do you know what it's like having the Girl-Who-Lived say she doesn't want to be your friend in front of everyone in your first year? How humiliating that was?”

“And you've both been insufferable toward each other ever since. Is that about right?” Soul correctly guessed.

Crossing her arms in front of her, Virgo said hotly, “Only because she was a bint and she started it first. The utter tart.”

Soul gave a low whistle, “Wow, she pretty much said the exact same things about you when I was with her over the summer.”

Virgo muttered under her breath, “I bet she did. The four-eyed slag-ass whore.”

“Ok, that's enough of that. I've let you vent, but I'm not going to let you just trash talk my cousin like that.” Soul said with a slight hint of warning in his voice.

“I'm sorry, it's just…. Gah, she infuriates me. All the people she decides to befriend, it's the bloody Weasleys? They're called weasels for a reason. They'll steal your money and then leave you either in Azkaban, high and dry, or dead.”

Hearing this set off alarm bells in Soul’s head, “They seemed nice enough when I met them during the summer. Do you have anything to substantiate these claims you're making?”

Virgo was quick to supply him with what she knew, “They've only been doing what almost amounts to bloodline theft for centuries. The reason the Weasley clan is part of the Sacred 28 is because they marry into pure blood families, steal their money, artifacts, and anything of value that isn’t nailed down, and then they run off. The last person to fall for this scheme was the Prewetts. Now Molly Prewett is the current matriarch of the Weasley clan. Although, supposedly she's actually in love with Arthur. Supposedly.”

“Huh.” Soul sad after a moment of thought. “That sounds pretty disturbing, and it could also explain Ronald's disgruntled nature and protectiveness towards Heather…” He muttered the last bit under his breath, but everyone heard him anyway.

Virgo looked physically ill, “Now it all makes sense. Weasley’s gunning for Potter. Of course he would be. Before they fell to the Dark Lord, the Potters were richer than even my family. Of course, the Weasels will want to ferret out every last gallion they could from that Dragon's hoard of gold.”

“I'm not going to say I believe you yet, Miss Malfoy, but you've definitely given me a lot to think on. If on the off chance this is true… “ Soul muttered to himself again, but he didn't really bother to hide it this time, “A certain Ron Weasley is going to end up castrated by me personally,” He growled angrily, “Because nobody fucks with my family. Nobody.”

Soul then heard rapping on a compartment door, and when it opened, there stood Luna Lovegood. She spoke airily as she said, “Hello Soul, I was looking all over for you. Did you save me a seat?”

“Luna! There you are, and yes, I did save you a seat.” He pulled his bag away from the seat next to him and patted it, motioning for her to sit next to him.

Sitting down and sitting down and pulling out a copy of The Quibbler, she peeked over the top and asked, “Hello Virgo, how was your summer?”

“Lovegood. How were the sales of your father’s… magazine?” Virgo asked diplomatically, not wanting to call it a gossip rag like she normally would have.

Luna was quick to reply, “The sales of The Quibbler are going well, thank you. Daddy is quite happy with it. The current edition talks about filling out some sort of word search but you have to hold it upside down.”

Soul leaned to his left, trying to see what Luna was looking at. “There's the word jackdaw right there.” He said, pointing out a word that was only right side up when the magazine was held upside down.

“Ah, so it is. Thank you, Soul.” Lunar replied, looking at him and beaming at him with her silver eyes.

“Any time, Luna.” He said, giving her a toothy grin. “So your dad runs a newspaper? That's pretty cool.”

“Oh yes, it's the second best selling newspaper next to the Daily Prophet.” Luna said with a hint of pride in her tone.

That's cool. What kind of stuff does he write about?”

“About how Minister Fudge is constantly being mind controlled by his bowler cap. For one thing. We think it's not only controlling him, but it's making him dumber as a result, which is why he's always doing strange things. We also think it might be why he's so fat.” Luna whispered conspiratorially, but also loud enough for everyone to hear.

Soul was quiet for a moment before he burst out laughing. “That is some excellent political commentary there, Luna. Your dad's sly as a fox.” 

“Well, Daddy was in Slytherin. Mother was in Ravenclaw though.” Lunar became morose as she mentioned her mother.

“Your nutter of a dad was in Slytherin?” Tracy said, having no filter on her mouth.

Luna nodded slowly, her gaze focused on the interior of the Quizzler she had in her hand, as she replied, “Oh yes, but after Mother died, he went quite mad. Quite mad indeed.” 

“Sorry to hear about your mom, Luna,” Soul pulled her into a one armed hug and didn't let her go.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” Luna's tone was soft, almost broken, but he could hear it.

“Sorry,” Tracy said after a moment, sounding contrite, “I didn't mean to be rude.”

“You weren't. I'm used to daddy and me being mocked,” Luna stated factually, “You were no worse than the nargles that infest Ravenclaw, at least.”

“The Hell’re Nargles?” Soul asked. He looked to the others, hoping they would explain, and they all shook their heads in confusion as well.

Leaning her head into Soul's embrace, Luna admitted, “Nargles are nasty little creatures. They say mean things, steal my clothes, and sometimes even lock me out of my dormitory at night.” 

Soul understood what she was really talking about after a moment. Nargles equaled bullies. Soul didn't like bullies. So he decided he was going to do something about it when he had the chance. “Well Luna, if the Nargles give you any trouble this year, you come and find me and I'll take care of them, ok?”

Looking up at him, Luna said, “Alright, Soul but I don't want you getting in trouble because of me. Plus, that would just agitate the nargles further.”

Soul just patted her on the head as he told her, “You let me worry about that, alright?”

Before Luna could reply, the train came to a rather sudden stop. Soul suddenly got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Looking at the others, he asked, “We're not at Hogwarts yet, right?” Seeing them shake their heads, he said, “Stay here and lock the door. I'll be right back. I'm going to check this out.”

As he stood to leave, Virgo grabbed his hand and said sharply, “What do you possibly think you could do? You haven't even gone through a single year of schooling at Hogwarts.”

He grinned at her as he replied.“More than you realize. “Just have a little bit of faith in me, dollface, and don't forget to lock the door behind me after I'm gone. Blair?” He said, getting the cat's attention. “Keep these kids safe while I'm gone. Got it? I got a bad feeling about this.”

“On it, Soul.” Blair spoke before transforming into her human form, shocking everyone present. “Be safe out there.”

“Always.” He said, giving her a final smirk before he shut the door behind him.

(...)

As Soul stepped out into the corridor the chill grew stronger still. Looking to his left, he saw nothing. Looking to his right, he saw a creature in a black mottled cloak. He could see no face, but a greenish, sickly looking scabbed hand was reaching towards him. ‘I don't know what you are, but you are ugly,’ Soul thought to himself, grinning a little bit. He said aloud. “It's a little early for Halloween, isn't it? I really do like your costume though buddy.”

A faint sucking noise came from the entity as it neared him. And Soul got the vague memory of being slashed by that Girl Crona, playing through his head again. “Ah, so that's what you do, is it? You get close to people, bring up bad memories, debilitate them, and then what? Eat their faces?”

“So hungry,” A voice like a whisper on the wind spoke, seemingly coming from the robed individual. “Feed me, give me… your soul…” It said again, drawing nearer as the dark memory of just a few days previous played through his mind again.

“Nah, I like my soul right where it is, thanks.” Soul replied before he transformed his fists into miniature red and black scythe blades. “How's about a knuckle sandwich to tide you over? With extra iron.”

“Give me your soul. I'm so… Cold. So hungry. So empty. Give it to me…. Your soul.” The creature cried out again, before it made another sucking noise and the horrible memory replayed again.

“Yeah, no,” Soul replied before he ran at the thing, intent on cutting it down. Whatever this thing was, it was worse than any afreet he'd come across, and he had every intention of killing it where it stood. Or floated, he supposed. As he drew in close, he pulled his arm back, before stabbing forward, his now bladed hand going right through the thing's guts.  It doubled over on his forearm, and with his other hand, he stabbed it right in the back of the head. Nothing happened for a moment, and then it disintegrated into so much dust, leaving a black cloak and more than a dozen Kishin eggs behind in its wake.

‘Uh, shit! What am I supposed to do with these?’ Soul thought to himself. He couldn't exactly explain away the fact that human souls, corrupted though they be, were now floating on the Hogwarts Express. ‘Think. Think. I need a plan, and I need one fast,’ Soul thought to himself before he decided to call out. “Gwas!”

The house elf appeared before his master with a regal bow. “Yes, Masters Emrys, yous be calling Gwas?”

“Hey buddy, I need you to collect these souls and get them the heck off this train. I need you to go and store them in my vault at Gringotts. I’ll uhh take care of them later. But we can't let anybody just see these things floating here.”

“Gwas, understands Master Soul, he will take care of them, yous just deal with the nasty dementes.” The house elf said as he made a disgruntled face.

“Thanks buddy, I appreciate this.” Soul said before he cracked his neck. “Time to get back to work.”

The albino walked down the train with purpose every time he came across what he assumed was supposed to be called Dementors, He would stab them viciously without any mercy or care. Every time he did they would burst, leaving behind souls. There must have been at least half a dozen on the train alone. He saw red, though, when he heard Heather scream and he saw one attempting to enter her compartment. Throwing any thoughts of caution, civility, or hiding his condition to the wayside, Soul charged the Dementor and with a running start did a running double jump kick to the side of its face sending it flying out the side of the compartment and both of them landed in a heap with Soul on top of it, where he proceeded to stab it mercilessly multiple times in the face, with his transformed hand. He lost count of how many times he'd stabbed the damn creature for attempting to harm his cousin, He just kept doing it over and over and over again. The thing that finally stopped him was someone grabbing his arm, causing him to snap his head back and see who dared try to stop him.

He was an elderly man. Thin and sickly looking, wearing tattered robes, add a pencil thin mustache on his upper lip. “Easy there, young man, I think you've got him. I dare say, I think you got them all.” He continued as he looked back along the other side of the train and saw no Dementors in sight

Fear and terror fell over Soul like a cold bucket of water. ‘Oh fuck, he just saw… I am so dead.’

“Change your hands back quickly. We don't need the others seeing this,” The man said sharply in low undertones.

“What?” Soul was confused, he didn't expect this person, whoever he was, to try and cover for him.

“Change back now.” The man said hurriedly.

“Right. Thanks,” Soul said before he shifted his palms back into normal hands.

The man then spoke up, his voice at a normal tone and level, if not a bit louder. “That was an incredibly reckless thing to do, young man, charging a dementor like that. And with nothing but bare fisticuffs at that. Reckless but brave.”

Upon hearing this, several people poked their heads out of their compartments. “Soul, did you charge down a… whatever that was, all by yourself?” Heather asked, sounding both impressed and angry at the same time.

“Uh, this will be the sixth one.” Soul replied honestly.

“Bloody hell, you beat up six Dementors with your bare hands.”

Getting up and leaving the dementors dusted corpse and cloak which he covered the escaped souls with. The albino quickly replied, “If I want air conditioning, and a horrible creature feature, I'll go to a damn theater. Maybe even The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thank you very much.”

Suddenly everyone in their compartment started clapping for him. Apparently what he did was heroic and stupid, but mostly heroic. “You're all welcome. I'm gonna go sit back down now.” He said not liking being the center of attention.

By the time he got back to his seat, everyone else in his compartment was staring at him in object awe.  Nobody said anything for a moment, and then Virgo spoke. “Just physically manhandled and beat the hell out of six Dementors….”

Soul shrugged and looked out the window as he replied, “Yeah, I guess I, I'm assuming that's a big deal?”

“You don't just physically beat the crap out of dementors, it just isn't done. The most one can hope for is casting the Patronus charm, which wards them off. You physically beat them off with your fists and killed them?”

Looking at her and giving a lazy grin, he couldn't help but reply half jokingly.“Well, my hands are lethal weapons. I am well trained.” 

“I.. that…You…” Virgo said, unable to come up with a complete sentence or counter to that. 

“Blair thinks we should just be thankful that Soul-kun is alive and in one piece,” The cat turned cat girl replied.

Luna looked at her friend with her big silver eyes and said, “I'm glad you're back, Soul Evans. I was worried.” 

Soul pulled her into an affectionate one armed hug as he replied, “Sorry Luna, I didn't mean to worry you, but I wasn't just going to let those things run rampant on the train and possibly hurt people. That's not how I roll.”

“If you keep acting like that, you might end up in Gryffindor, Evans.” Daphne Greengrass teased. But there was a kindness to it.

Soul just shrugged, “I don't have a problem with ending up at any of the houses, I just hope regardless of where I end up we can all still hang out. That'd be cool, right?”

The Slytherins glanced at one another. Normally they would abhor the thought of associating with a Puff, Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. But Soul made it blatantly clear he didn't care for house affiliations. And would befriend them regardless of what house they were in or who they associated with. He'd also made it clear he considered them friends already. If he was going to extend the olive branch, why shouldn't they be man enough or woman enough to accept it?

It was Virgo who spoke up first. “I don't see why not. Though personally I do hope you're sorted into Slytherin, that way we can all get to know each other better.”

“Yeah, but I still think the accommodations in Slytherin suck though. No offense. I mean, they're in the dungeons. I mean vitamin D is a necessary component needed for humans to function, you know?”

“Vitamin what?” Virgo asked.

“What's a vitamin? Goyle questioned.

“Is it edible?” Crabbe wondered.

Upon hearing this, Soul ran a hand down his face, ‘Oh my God, they don't even know what vitamins are. How backwards are these people?’ taking a moment to brace himself To answer stupid questions, Soul said, “You guys don't know what vitamins are, but you all look pretty damn healthy to me. Do you take anything growing up for, you know, essential nutrients or anything?”

Luna piped up for everyone else involved, “We have nutrient potions, I'm assuming those are similar?”

“I'm going to pray to God they are.” The demon weapon replied, “Vitamins are things that you know the body needs to function. Vitamin D primarily comes from the sun. At least it typically does. It helps prevent depression, all kinds of other nasty things. If you don't get enough sunlight, you end up being grumpy, moody, you can end up paranoid.” He rubbed his chin in a moment of thought before saying aloud, “Actually, now that I think about it, this explains a lot of the temperaments of the Slytherin house. Maybe you guys just aren't getting enough sunlight.”

Virgo had to stop him there, “Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a minute. Stop. You think the reason we're so insular and suspicious of the other houses is because we're just not getting enough sunlight, due to being situated in the dungeons?”

Soul nodded after a moment’s thought, “Yeah, that's one of the things that can happen due to vitamin D deficiency. And if this castle has been around for over 1000 years and Your house has become, shall we say, that insular… Well, yeah, it kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it?”

The Slytherins wanted to question him more on what he knew on this subject, but the train was coming to a sudden stop. They had arrived at Hogsmeade station. As they got up to leave, Virgo put her hand on his shoulder and said, “We will be speaking more on this subject, Mr. Evans, regardless of what house you get sorted into.”

He just smiled at her kindly, Making sure not to show his pointed teeth lest he unnerve her as he replied, “I look forward to it, Lady Malfoy.” 

(...)

The sky outside was dark and overcast as Soul looked over what was Hogsmeade Station. “‘irst years over ‘ere, ‘irst years folla’me.” A giant of a man wearing an Oilskin overcoat with a bushy beard and black haired a match.Was waving away, waving a Lantern and getting everyone's attention.

“Well,” Soul said aloud, and he couldn't help but comment. “Somebody's been eating their Wheaties growing up.”

Heather, upon hearing this, couldn't help but laugh. “Yeah, that's Hagrid. He's great. I'm not sure if you should get on the boats with the first years or not, considering you're a late bloomer, but I guess you should go over there. It's something of a tradition for first years to go to Hogwarts across the lake.”

“To the boats, then,” Soul said, screwing up his courage. “As long as they don't make me fly.”

She wanted to ask him if she was a he was afraid of flying, but she saw Hermione and Ron motioning her towards a carriage. “I'll see you at the feast, Soul. Be careful.”

He just grinned at her, “Don't worry, I know how to swim. You should be more worried for Blair.”

The cat girl just playfully slapped him on the arm and said, “You know damn well Blair knows how to swim. Mr. I jump through people's bathroom windows.”

He conceded the point, “Yeah, but this isn't warm bathwater, Blair. This is cold, wet lake water. You gonna be ok with this?”

She smiled at him, happy he was concerned for her well-being, she couldn’t help but flirt ever so lightly,  “Maybe Blair would feel better if you held your hand?” She replied sweetly, offering him her hand.

“I can do that,” he replied, interlacing her fingers with his as they found a boat. This just so happened to be the exact same one Hagrid was sitting in. “Hello, you must be Hagrid. My fourth cousin Heather Potter has told me all about you.”

“Heather Potter's fourth cousin, ya say? Well, bless my soul. It's nice to meet you. I'm Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. As well as the Care of Magical Creatures teacher. But keep that under yer hat, yeah? It's going to be announced at tonight's feast. I don't suppose you signed up for my class?”

Regretfully, Soul shook his head, “No, Sir, I did not. I chose Ancient Ruins and Arithmancy for my electives. Had I known you were the teacher, I might have given Care of Magical Creatures a shot. I do have to ask, however, what the heck were you thinking with the living books that kept trying to bite people?”

Hagrid was surprised by the young man's candor, but answered him anyway, “Oh well, I thought they were interestin’. Better than a normal book, yeah?”

“Um, Mr. Hagrid, if I can call you that. The lady who was selling the books looked traumatized about having to get another one out of a cage. Next year, if I may be so blunt, just stick to a normal textbook.”

“Was she really? Was it that bad?” Hagrid cringed a little bit. He didn't expect the books he'd ordered to actually cause physical harm to anyone.

“Yes Sir, she had to use a dragon skin glove to get them out of the small cage she was keeping them in so they didn't harm anyone or destroy her store. I saw it myself.”

“Blimey, I didn't think they'd cause such a ruckus,” Hagrid said, running his hand down his massive beard. “I owe that woman an apology, I do. Thanks for letting me know, kiddo. And for the record, you call me Hagrid, right? Any friend of Heather's is a friend o’ mine. And you can expect something for Christmas from me, Ya hear?” 

Soul happily nodded, “Only so long as I get to give you something back, Hagrid.”

The half giant just beamed at him, As their boat seamlessly glided into a small dock underneath Hogwarts castle, “Right, looking forward to it then,” He then spoke up, getting everyone's attention. “All right, everyone, follow me. Follow me to the Great Hall.”

Soul shuffled along, staying right behind Hagrid, still holding Blair's hand as he did so. Eventually they were led to a rather stern looking older woman wearing all black, including the witches hat. Who was immediately reminded of his grandmother. Although this woman was a lot taller. “Welcome everyone to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am Deputy Headmistress Minerva Mcgonagall and I will also be your teacher for the art of transfiguration. I am also the leader of the Gryffindor House. Shortly you will be sorted into your houses, and the school year will begin with an opening feast. I look forward to getting to know each and everyone of you.”

“The pleasure is ours, I'm sure, Gran.” Soul replied, giving her a polite smile, nod, and a wave.

Fixing him with a stern gaze, Mcgonagall said, “Ah yes, Mr. Evans. The Headmaster would like to see you after the feast. He has something he would like to discuss with you in private. And that is Professor Mcgonagall to you, young man.”

Soul snapped to shooting off a salute, “Oh, captain, My captain.”

She just glared at him a little harder and all he did was smirk, “They are ready for you now. Best of luck to all of you.”

The doors of the Great Hall opened and everyone walked in behind Mcgonagall. Soul was busy looking at the ceiling, which showed the night sky, And all the floating candles. ‘I wonder how they don't drip down and cover everyone in wax. Of course, I guess if they did, that would kind of suck and not be cool.’ 

He then faced forward as Mcgonagall began to speak. “You will place the sorting hat on your head and you will be sorted into your houses. Once you are sorted, you will go to your assorted table.” She motioned to a dingy gray wizard hat after she spoke.

A seam in the hat ripped open and a mouth began to speak.

“Greetings one and all. Students, new and old. Welcome back to Hogwarts to hear my brand new song. I'll tell you now about the Hogwarts Four. The greatest of them all. Wizards and witches in parallel, of greatest in any song.

There was Godric Gryffindor, the bold, courageous and foolhardy. A knight and wizard, both and boy, did he like to party.

Next was the great, Rowena Ravenclaw, Her mind sharp as any sword. Her wit cracked like a whip, she made sure her compatriots were never bored.

Into all was Helga Hufflepuff, Baker, Herbalist, And potioneer. One could find her far afield, Finding ingredients costly and dear.

Last but not least was Salazar Slytherin, Sly, capricious, and bold. Wielder of the serpent's tongue, hoarder of secrets, new and old. 

Together did the Hogwarts Four found this school, You see, and with their ancient magics, did they create me. But lo, did they also create one other thing: An ancient chair, a throne. And upon that time, a descendant sits the throne of the Hogwarts Four. There shall one day come an end to an ancient war. Heed my words and heed them well, for with them comes a story to tell. The descendant comes with a burden to bear. For he must sit, this ancient chair. The time is right, The time is now, The bells are tolling, the voices tell. The songs of heroes and legends sing, a new song must be composed for a king. But this song is over. This song is done. Now I must sort you every one.”

The hall was silent as they all mused over the Sorting Hats words. The headmaster cleared his throat and motioned for Mcgonagall to proceed with the sorting. Which she did, going in alphabetical order. Much to his soul's surprise, the first name she called was Blair's.

“Blair Katt.”

“Wish me luck,” She whispered into Soul's ear as she pranced up to the Sorting Hat.

“My my, such an interesting creature I have here, and I mean no disrespect by saying that my dear. Also, never fear, your secrets are safe with me.” The Sorting Hat spoke into Blair's mind, “You're quite the frisky one, aren't you? Would fit right in and Hufflepuff. You like to get along with everyone, don't you?”

‘What about Slytherin? Could I fit in there?’ Blair questioned the hat.

“Hmm, you are quite the sly little vixen, aren't you? Yes, I could see you doing well in Slytherin. And you've already made acquaintances there. Yes, you could do quite nicely. And you are sly yourself, in your own way. Hmm, yes… Well, if you're quite content with your choice, then I suppose it had better be… “ The hat called out, “SLYTHERIN!”

The table on the far left of the hall cheered as Blair took off the hat, And took her place right next to Virgo Malfoy.

Soul waited patiently for his turn to come. He seemed to be right in the middle of the pack of course he wasn't sure if they were going by alphabetical Last name or first name? So depending on that factor he would either be in the E’s or S’s Of the list. Finally, however, his name was called, just not in the way he expected.

“Soul Emyrs-Ambrosius Evans,” Professor Mcgonagall called out.

The entire Great Hall went silent, and even Dumbledore leaned forward in his chair to see who would step forward and claim that name.

‘Well, so much for smooth sailing.’ Soul thought. He didn't expect his titles to show up on the list, but showed up they had, and now he just had to roll with it. Taking a deep, calming breath, he stepped forward, causing people to mutter. As he moved to take the Sorting Hat from the Transfiguration teacher, the stool on which it sat on, changed.

Gone was the simple four legged wooden stool, and in its place was a metal throne. The four limbs were carved in the shape of a Griffin, On the left hand side and a badger on the right. The back of the throne was in the shape of a twisting serpent.Its head nestled, and one of the back limbs of the throne, whereas nesting on the top its wings spread wide, was that of an eagle. The throne was covered in an infinite amount of glowing ruins the likes he had never seen before.Not that he had seen many runes, and each of the creatures that made-up the throne had different gems set in their eyes. The Griffin had large red rubies, the badger had gleaming yellow topaz, The snake had shining dark green emeralds, and the Raven had glittering sapphires.

Looking at Professor Mcgonagall, Soul asked “Um, Gran, was this supposed to happen?”

“I do believe that was the throne the Sorting Hat spoke of, my dear boy. You and I will have much to discuss after dinner tonight.” An elderly man's voice spoke and Soul looked up to see the Headmaster,  Albus Dumbledore, looking at him intently. A gleam in his sky blue eyes.

“Ah crap, not another prophecy,” Soul muttered under his breath as he reached for the Sorting Hat. “All right, you know what? Fuck it. Let's do this thing. For the record though, if I die, I blame you.” He said, glaring at the Sorting Hat. Plopping the magical object on his head, he sat down on the ornate throne.

“So you've come at last, the long-awaited heir of the Hogwarts Four.”

‘I'm only an heir to two of them, what the hell are you talking about?’ Soul asked the Sorting Hat.

Chuckling in his head, the hat replied, “Oh, that doesn't matter. That doesn't matter at all. The fact of the matter is, you are one of their conjoined bloodlines. Lord Hogwarts, the castle is yours. Long have we awaited you to return to your ancestral home.” The Sorting Hat replied, almost reverently.

‘You have got to be fucking kidding me. I don't want to be in charge of a freaking school.’ Soul told the sorting hat.

“My Lord, Hogwarts is more than just a school. It is a fortress of magic and a nation unto itself when need arises. And she is at your beck and call. Back in the day, before it was a school, Hogwarts was a Kingdom unto itself. And it was known to the fore that one of their forebears Would come and claim the castle. You are that one. You will end the threat of evil among the Isles forever.”

‘What does that mean? How?’ Soul couldn't help but ask the Hat.

“It would be better for others to explain what your role shall be in the future, my Lord. They will meet with you soon. But for now, let's get you sorted…You're keeping secrets. Big life changing secrets, but you're doing an admirable job at it, too. You're sly, quick thinking, and you have the gift of parseltongue. But you're also kind caring of those around you, Courageous and bold, you were not the most intelligent nor studious. But there are different types of intelligence master Emrys. You're the type of person who is both street smart, and you have an amazing amount of common sense. What you lack is book smarts, but you can make that up while you're here. You've in fact already been working on it. You could fit in any of the four houses, should you so choose…”  The Sorting Hat commented.

‘I'm gonna be honest, I don't think it would be in my best interest to leave Blair by herself. Plus I've already made some friends in Slytherin on the train ride over here. So if you don't mind if you could put me in Slytherin, I'd appreciate that.’ 

“I figured that would be your choice. But bear in mind, your dear cousin and her friends are all in Gryffindor.” The hat remarked.

Soul shrugged, “It's not like I won't see her at all. Besides, I have my methods of getting around if I need to.”

“Yes, you'll find that being a demon weapon opens up all kinds of doors in this castle. Hidden doors that no one else can access. But you'll find out more about that later,” The hat commented on the sly, “Well, if you're sure, then it better be…” He then shouted aloud, “SLYTHERIN!”

Again, the slithering table burst into uproarious applause, and they had a good reason to. For the second time in a millennia, they had a Merlin amongst them.

Soul took the Sorting Hat off his head and was going to get up, but found himself stuck to the seat of the throne. It was as if someone had glued his ass to the chair. Then before he could complain, The socketed gemstones in all of the Statues that made-up the throne began emitting light, and from that light came four projections of people.

They were two women and two men. And Soul knew who they were immediately, mostly because he had skimmed through Hogwarts. A history. While he was in Diagon Alley. And it had pictures of these people within the confines of the pages. Standing in front of him now were what looked like holographic projections of the Hogwarts Four. The founders themselves.

Godric Gryffindor was wearing gold and scarlet clothing, a breastplate over his chest, the sword of Gryffindor itself at his hip. His hair was flaming red and wild and untamed.

Rowena Ravenclaw was petite yet mysterious, and wore her diadem on her head, garbed in dark blues and blacks.

Helga Hufflepuff was a plump woman and seemed rather kind as she wore a gold and black ensemble that trailed all the way down to the floor, and she carried a cornucopia full of all manner of potion ingredients, plus a belt across her waist that had all manner of potions fastened to it.

And last but not least, was Salazar Slytherin himself. He was old looking, bald with a thin, narrow beard, wearing dark greens and silvers, in the form of a robe.

“OK, I'll bite. What the hell is going on?” Soul said when he saw the projections of the Hogwarts founders.

Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin looked at each other for a moment, before Salazar spoke to Godric, a smirk on his face,. “Ha, pay up Bloodbeard.”

“Damn it all, I can't believe your descendant was the one who beat us out. I owe you 100 gallons.” Godric grumbled, but it seemed good-natured.

“Hello there dear, it's nice to meet you, I'm your great, great, great Aunt Helga,” Helga Hufflepuff said, getting close and beaming at him.

“Hi, nice to meet you. Could one of you explain what's going on? In particular, why my ass is stuck in this chair?” Soul said feeling self-conscious that all eyes in the Great Hall teachers included where on him. He hated it. He hated being surrounded by people and being the center of attention.

“Ah, well, you see, that's a bit of a story, Sal dear, would you like to take it from here?” Helga said, getting his attention, Where he seemed to be lording the fact that Soul, his descendant, had taken the throne of Hogwarts over one of his own.

“What? Oh yes, of course, dear.” Salazar came forward and cleared his nonexistent throat before he continued. “You see, dear boy, We the Hogwarts Four, Despite everything. Came up with a very clever bit of magic,”

“What, you mean coming up with a magic freaking castle wasn't enough?”

“No, now shut up and quit interrupting.” Salazar snapped at him, shooting him a glare as he did.

“Fine Gramps. Carry on.” Soul said, waving a hand in his general direction since he couldn't get up.

Salazar Slyrtherin stared down his nose at his descendant, “Children seem to have lost manners within the last millennium, I see.”

“Look Sir, I'm stuck in the middle of the Great Hall with everyone staring at me and talking to a ghost. I'm a little bit freaked out at the moment, so if you could please get to the point.”

“Sal, be nice.” Helga said, shooting him a sharp look as she did.

“Fine, long short of it is then. God forbid you have to stave off eating a meal, you little rapscallion. The short version is, before we died, we set up a very intricate piece of magic so that, when we died, all of our memories would be stored in these… Proto pensive golems.” Salazar said, motioning to the golems that made-up the throne. “They were keyed to activate only when one of our conjoined bloodlines came to Hogwarts to be sorted. We didn't know when this would happen, but we knew it would happen one day. Thanks to Rowena being a seer.”

“You're welcome.” Rowena said.

“Yes, yes. Thank you very much for your input, Rowena. Now back to what I was saying.” Salazar replied. “Ah yes, as I was saying. We decided that whoever would sit the throne would gain everything. They would be akin to a king, as the King of England was to the Muggles.”

“So what? I'm a freaking wizard king?” Soul couldn't help but ask.

“Essentially, yes,” Salazar said with a brief dip of his head. “And of course you have your symbols of Office. My Locket.” A hexagonal locket embedded with emeralds in the shape of a serpent suddenly appeared around his neck sitting next to the Galator.

“My Cup.” Next to his left hand, which Soul had to rapidly grip, was Helga Hufflepuff's chalice.

“My diadem, which shall act as your crown,” Rowena said moments before the mythical Crown of Ravenclaw appeared on his head. Before its shape suddenly changed, it became an ornate winged crown, in the shape of a Raven.

“And of course, my sword,” Finished Godric before the Sword of Gryffindor appeared on his lap.

“What the hell guys? I didn't exactly ask to suddenly become the king of all wizarding Britain.”

“No, you didn't. Surely you received the letter by your forebear Merlin. You should have known this was coming.”

Soul blinked for a moment and then nodded, “Oh, right, that. The one where he keeps calling me the Pianist, and Conductor?” 

“The very same.” Salazar continued, “Also, you needn't worry about everyone else hearing about this. There's a dome of silence around this area. The only one who can hear us is you.”

“Joy.” Soul said, his tone drier than the Death Valley around Death City. “Why exactly should I take this job?”

“Because Merlin foresaw that you would need to.” Salazar said, his tone getting a little emotional. “He foresaw every trial you would have to face, and he knew you would need us, and the power we would grant you.”

“Power? What power?”

Godric slapped a hand into his open palm, “Oh yes, that's right, we need to transfer all the energy we've saved up over the years.” 

“Where we'd best get to it then. I apologize in advance for how much this is going to hurt.” Salazar said, looking at his descendant,” Before glancing at Godric and Rowena and saying “Don't you two have something you need to say to him first?”

“Ah, yes. I, Godric of House Gryffindor.” Godric began.

“I, Rowena of House Ravenclaw,” The intelligent one of the Hogwarts four continued.

“Bequeath unto you, Everything.” The two Hogwarts founders spoke as one.

Salazar and Helga Hufflepuff added, “We of the Hogwarts Four bequeath unto you the stored magic of Hogwarts, for thou art the Lord and King of the magical lands of the isles of Albion, Erie, and Cymru. All hail the King!”

Soul felt a power welling in him like he had never felt before.It was so great. He let out a silent scream, his back bending like a bow, Before finally he blacked out. The last thing he heard was the ghosts of the Hogwarts Founders four saying, “All hail the King.”