Physique update (bulking and anxiety)

211 pounds, 6’2, “bulking” though not doing an amazing job. And if you read my IG post you know my struggles. Eating enough and dealing with anxiety that gives me no appetite. Sometimes I’m just bad at eating my meals when I could and should be, though I do try and never use any real issues I have as an excuse, that’s very important. The line between understanding your set backs and identifying your own poor habits are 2 different things and should always be separated from one another. Blend those and you are in real hell.

And so we all have goals and we all have setbacks but life doesn’t stop moving. And our goals will be there regardless if we feel good or not. So what do we do about that? I’m no expert and I just try and figure my own shit out. There’s always going to be something to set you back. A reason to pull back and rest, which sometimes you need, and sometimes you don’t. But again, it’s really hard to self identify those moments, especially if you have severe anxiety or panic attacks, all of your rationality goes out the window. So, with enough experience you get through the best you can, do what practical measures you can take to lesson symptoms for what ever it is you are going through, and avoid practical things that worsen whatever it is you may suffer from. That’s always in our control. And some other times it’s pushing through regardless of if we have the stength to do so or not. This helps prove to us that we can have some semblance of control in our lives and bodies even when things are in disarray.

I find anxiety a huge inconvenience! I’m a rather rational person, and anxiety is this out of body experience where it pretty well decides it’s going to do what it likes, feeezes up, heart rate goes at a ridiculous rate, can’t focus on a single thought, lose all appetite and ability to sleep and can’t breath. So I often feel spilt as I’m aware of everything that’s happening though the mind and body are at two separate states. This is why I’ve always loved things like skateboarding and now working out, as it uses the mind body connection which is so important to practice.

So if I have advice on eating with a sensitive stomach or one that closes up from time to time. Still do it, little by little. As much as you can, if at some points you can force a large amount of food down even if you don’t feel like it try your best, and if you need to go a while without eating then I guess that’s what you need to do. This makes it really hard to hit your macros as that consistency is what shows results. So a person has to remember, this is temporary and your goals are not (this is very hard in the moment) So how are we going to navigate through this the best a person can to still have our desired outcome? In movies we see workout montages and on social media we see 30 second reels, in reality it’s a constant back and forth a few steps forward and a few steps back. It’s all about how a person deals with their downfalls and worst times, usually ends up showing your true character.