Reading Lunar Phases ch 8

Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or the Whiskered Warrior.

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"Alright. That's two for me. Who's next?" Leo asked, holding the book up.

"I'll–"

"I'll do it." Reyna offered before Jason could finish. Leo shrugged and passed it down the line. She cleared her throat. "'First Quarter'"

Reunion.

The word on its own is often associated with the massive social gathering held to celebrate and reflect on the end of one's period of life. Or it could be used to refer to the process of bringing two halves back into one whole.

"The reunion of pizza to my stomach." Percy offered.

"That's…Almost, Seaweed Brain." Annabeth patted his cheek. "You'd have to throw up the pizza first."

"Oh." His lip curled in disgust. "Ew."

Typically, though, it is used in regard to two (or more) people — usually those of the opposite sex — coming together after a long period of separation. Some consider the reunion to be a conclusion, the end of a story, but those few are mistaken. After all, one of the greatest stories in the eyes of many Olympians is that of the reunion of King Odysseus of Ithaca with his wife, the faithful Penelope.

"Such a wonderful marriage." Hera sighed.

"...I kind of wanna tell her." Ares drummed his fingers on his throne. "Anyone else?"

Scattered murmuring was heard amongst the other Olympians. Hephaestus looked ready to have an existential crisis, probably due to the fact on some level he agreed with Ares.

"Do not ruin that for her." Zeus growled.

June 28th, 2008

Thalia didn't know who she was expecting to see behind the wheel when the Jeep blaring Metallica's "Ride the Lightning" pulled over, but it definitely wasn't Whiskers. He clearly shared her thoughts on the matter, judging by the dumbfounded stare he leveled her with. They stared at one another for a good moment, the idling engine and thrash metal being the only breaks in the wilderness' quiet.

As Thalia stared at him, she made note of the aesthetic changes he'd gone through. His left ear now had another piercing beneath the silver cuff and he had lost the silver band he wore around his head. He'd also gained a scar in his right eyebrow and there was yet another silver piercing beside it.

"Why did my other self allow him to puncture his skin in such ways?" Artemis frowned.

"Well, the stud in his ear was done by the evil snake guy, so clearly its cursed or something." Apollo pointed out. "That silver brow piercing though...That's weird that you let that happen."

"Hey, here's a thought, where's his circlet?" Hermes asked.

"...Ah. I see." Artemis nodded. "The piercing is a chip."

"Ohh–Wait, what?" Apollo gawked. "Artemis, you can't chip your mortal son! There is so much ethically wrong with that!"

"When my twin constantly loses my mortal son, yes I can!"

He looked good with those new piercings…

"N-No he doesn't." Thalia spluttered.

"I think it works for him." Piper hummed.

"The bad boy edge?" Jason asked.

"No, just…I dunno, self-expression?"

Okay, Thalia's rational brain interrupted her hormones' train of thought. We've been staring at him for too long. Time to say something

"Oh thank goodness, something relatable." Aphrodite smiled.

"I'm so sorry, Lady Artemis."

"You will not be blamed for your other self's decisions, Thalia."

"Whiskers/Thalia, what are you doing here?" Whiskers asked her at the same time she asked him. Thalia felt her ears burn and glared at him. Didn't he realize that she was the one asking questions?

"Classic." Leo snorted.

She got up to the passenger door and braced herself on it.

"What am I doing here? I asked you first." He did it again! The sheer gall of this guy! Thalia leaned in through the window, reaching across the seat to poke him in the arm to get her point across.

"Whiskers, stop copying me and answer my questions!" "Thalia, why in the world are you guys out here?!"

"...This is better than How I Met Your Mother." Rachel Elizabeth Dare – Percy's clear-sighted mortal girl friend (with emphasis on the space in the middle for Annie's sake)

"Thanks, Thalia."

"Don't mention it, I guess?" Thalia shrugged.

– commented from her spot on the side of the road.

It was then Thalia seemed to realize the precarious position she'd put herself in. Here she was, leaning in through the passenger's side window, her rear end sticking out, and her torso stretched across the seat so that her face was inches from Whisker's.

Someone wolf whistled.

"When I discover whoever did that…" Artemis glared around the room.

"Its a steamy image." Aphrodite cut in with a smirk.

"Why am I not surprised?"

She could feel the warmth of his breath on her skin and noticed that it took considerable effort to jab her finger into his arm. Like, Hoover Dam, that was firm.

"You should've seen them flirting when we were walking through Hephaestus' Junkyard."

"They/We weren't flirting!" Artemis and Thalia snapped.

"Oh, yes you were." Aphrodite smirked.

Apparently, Thalia was going to be burying her two-timing cousin before the day was done. Shame Percy had to get the worst aspects of her sea-ruling uncle. Poor Annabeth would be so lonely without him. Hopefully, she'd bounce back.

"That is so not funny." Percy scowled.

"I think it's hilarious. Accurate even." Thalia smirked, clearly begging to differ.

"Well, you're wrong."

"Which part are you more upset about? Thalia offing you, or Annabeth bouncing back, after?" Frank asked him with a chuckle.

"...I have to choose?"

"Oh, I've got to hear this."

Never mind. It was apparent Annabeth had also chosen death. Thalia was going to miss the little snarker when she was gone. She would be kind and bury the two's corpses together. Whether they would remain so would be in Hades' hands.

"Okay, that's all Zeus. And that's worrying by itself." Hera blinked.

"Um…" Yes! Thank the gods for Whiskers' ability to break these awkward silences! "I take it that you guys need a lift for a quest?"

Was he asking her? What does she do now? Gawk—No, she tried that. That didn't get her anywhere. Think, Thalia, think! …got it! Quick! Respond like the strong, confident, and independent young woman you are!

"Wait for it, this is going to be great." Nico mumbled. Hazel shoved and shushed him.

"Um, y-yeah." Thalia breathed.

"Called it."

Stupid &*%$ hormones!

"Okay." Whiskers blinked. "You can stop leaning in through the window now."

Oh, right. Thalia casually slid her torso back out until her converses hit the asphalt. The lock clicked and she popped the passenger door open.

"I call shot–!"

"That is not happening, Kelp Head." Thalia snorted as she climbed in and claimed her seat. Er, the seat. The shotgun seat. Yes, that.

"Very articulate." Piper sniggered.

"You'll never see my arrow coming." Thalia deadpanned.

Huh, and her-the seat wasn't too bad. Pretty comfortable. Yeah, riding shotgun ruled. Her smirk returned as the two dead-Demigods-walking – one grumbling about unfairness under his breath – and the potential witness to their homicide climbed into the back.

"Peet-Percy." Whiskers corrected himself on the name so fast Thalia almost missed it.

"Wh–We did a quest together! Is nothing sacred?!" Percy threw his hands up.

"At least he didn't almost call you 'Paul' this time." Annabeth pointed out.

"It's the principle of the matter, Wise Girl!"

He was meeting the clueless green eyes of the demigod in the back through the mirror. His lips pulled up in a small half smile when he looked at the next walking corpse. "Annabeth. Great to see you both again." He frowned when he looked at the other mortal. "You...I don't know."

"Pleased to meet you." The girl grinned a toothy grin. Thalia had the sudden – and bizarre – urge to knock a few of those teeth out. Geez, did she get some kind of psychopathic rage from her father or was that residual insanity from That Woman.

"No, that's all Zeus." Hera deadpanned with a frown.

"It is not." The King harrumphed. "It could be from that Egyptian magic."

"That only encourages my belief that you're the cause for her psychosis."

"I'm Percy's friend. Rachel Elizabeth Dare."

"...Dare?" Whiskers turned around in his seat to look at her. Her smile fell and Thalia's urge to commit assault on the clear-sighted girl dwindled. "Dare Enterprises, Dare?"

"Dare to believe... That you can, in fact, survive?" Apollo asked.

"You can, because you have the power in your hands." Hermes said.

"I see, I see…So, what you're saying is: I can win if I—"

"Finish that sentence." Artemis glared at her twin. She'd heard that damn song far too often. "I dare you."

"Don't have to anymore. You just did." Apollo grinned.

"I don't associate myself with my father's company." Rachel crossed her arms. Thalia gave her points for her rebellious nature. She lost more for the next words she said with another smile. "But since you know about it, I guess you're one of those hot activists that'd be on the news?"

Weird, the murderous urge had returned.

Hera was too busy enjoying some popcorn to comment. This was a decent comedy.

"Oh, terrific. Bunch of teenagers in the backseat. …You're right, this was a great idea." Whiskers muttered to himself as he put the Jeep in gear and took them down the road. Thalia wondered why he was talking to himself, but brushed it off as a survival quirk. His poor mortal mind could probably only handle so much.

"Hot activists?" Percy asked softly, brows furrowed. Thalia wouldn't be surprised if he died with that look on his face since he expressed it so often.

"Oh, so funny." Percy sneered.

"Your face? Nah, got old real fast." Thalia scoffed.

"Something you'll never understand." Nico sniped.

"Dare Enterprises is a large development company." Annabeth, the dutiful source of information that she was, explained. She looked over at Rachel, who shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. "Guess that explains why you're taking such an interest in helping us. Trying to pay off the sins of your father?"

"I'm Percy's friend," the mortal girl said with a far-too-pleasant smile. "If I can help him, I will."

"...Why is Annabeth glaring at her?" The whispered question had Thalia snapping her gaze at Whiskers with disbelief on her face.

"Oh, that's a problem." Apollo frowned.

"Despises boys, holds back against girls, misunderstands feelings...Fails to recognize tension in relationships…" Aphrodite scowled. "Dammit, she broke him good. I'll have to call in assistance for this one."

"I did not break my son." Artemis glared at her rival.

"You did. Don't worry, I'll fix it."

"A-Are you serious?" Come on, no way. He noticed a rolled ankle when he was fourteen. He couldn't have missed the tension between the three in his backseat. Right?

"Well, Percy did." Annabeth rolled her eyes playfully.

"I was focused on the quest! How is that a bad thing?"

"Um, yes?" Whiskers glanced at her with his stud-pierced eyebrow that looked far too good raised up in an arch. "Thalia, I haven't seen you guys in months. I don't know what's changed in the dynamics of Demigods."

Ah, that reminded Thalia of something she had to give him that was long overdue.

"A kiss!?" Aphrodite asked excitedly.

"You're reaching." Artemis grumbled.

"Please be reaching." Thalia mumbled.

Suddenly and without warning, her fist lashed out and nailed him square in the shoulder. Slight miscalculation on her part. Now her knuckles hurt. Hoover Dam, that was a thicc shoulder.

"I think there's a typo here." Reyna hummed. "It's clearly meant to be thick, but they put a second c instead of a k."

"Nope. That's right." Piper nodded. "Thicc is a compliment."

"How do you mean?"

"That guy is dummy thicc!" Leo said, pointing at Frank.

"...Well, he's not wrong." Hazel hummed, eying her boyfriend.

"Suddenly, I feel like I'm being hunted." Frank deadpanned.

"Ow! Geez! What was that for?!"

"That's for disappearing for six months, you jerk!" Thalia snapped.

"A bit tame, but yeah. Reasonable." Thalia nodded.

She drove her fist into his arm again.

"Thalia what–?!"

"That's for all the crap I've had to deal with in High School!"

"How is that his fault?" Jason asked.

"...I'm sure I'll have a good answer for that." Thalia huffed.

"How is that my fault?" Whiskers asked, scowling at her for a moment before he turned his attention back to the road.

Thalia wasn't sure what the answer to that was. She had agreed to be seventeen, and there was no way Whiskers could have foreseen her issues with the academic jump. However, given that admitting he wasn't in the wrong for going AWOL on her essentially boiled down to a matter of protecting her pride, she couldn't let him know that.

Hence, she adhered to the rule of three and punched him again.

"So, there was no answer, you just hit him again."

"That was the answer, Dork."

"Gods!" He scowled and glared daggers at her. "Thalia, I am driving!"

"I don't care!" She scowled at him and dang near punched him once more for good measure. "You left! Again!"

"As a concerned passenger, I feel like this is something you two should work out without endangering us, liable witnesses, and off the road."

"Percy Jackson, how dare you!? They were in the middle of a moment!" Aphrodite scowled.

"Um, sorry?" Percy shrugged.

"You should be." The goddess huffed.

"Your death is going to be so painful, Percy. I'm not even kidding." Thalia growled, glaring with sparking eyes at her cousin where he sat between the two girls. He scowled at her, but held his hands up and leaned back. Her glare shifted back to the driver. "What happened to being there, huh?!"

"Well, since my home in Pennsylvania was destroyed while I was away and Mom's plan was shot down by your Dad, I had to move." Whiskers snapped back at her. She felt her nostrils flare, it wasn't like she wanted her dick of a deity dad to ban him from camp!

"That's some impressive alliteration there, Thalia." Annabeth noted, doing her best to ignore the rumbling thunder around her.

"Thanks Annie."

"So impressive that it makes me wonder, how did you get three Cs, a B and an F in public school?"

"...You're on thin ice, Chase. Thin ice."

He huffed and turned his eyes back to the road. "Since I was essentially homeless, Uncle Fred got me a hotel room in Jersey City–"

"You moved to Jersey?" Percy's nose scrunched up in disgust.

"Aw grow a set, Jackson. Everything's legal in Jersey." Ares sneered.

"Annabeth?" Whiskers glanced up in the mirror. "Do me a favor and slap your friend for me."

Ever dutiful, Annabeth gave Percy a smack upside the head.

"Ow! Annabeth!"

"You interrupted him, Seaweed Brain. Use your manners." Annabeth huffed.

"Oh! Oh! That's a callback to the second Fearless story!" Apollo bounced on his throne. He tallied something on a bingo card. "When they met Luke's mom! Naruto chided her on her manners."

"That was a good moment. Sad, but good." Hermes smiled.

"Sorry about that. He's still learning."

The look of confused betrayal on Percy's face was nothing short of hilarious. It took a lot of willpower for Thalia not to laugh out loud. Not difficult, considering she was still quite upset at Whiskers.

"It's laughing on the inside that matters." Thalia said from the heart.

"Not going to deny being upset at your imaginary alien?" Nico asked.

"...You didn't say 'boyfriend'." Thalia noted, eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Look, I'm capable of a lot of things, but even I can't make fun of your Canadian boyfriend all the time."

"Hey." Hazel frowned while Thalia spluttered and tried to figure out the best refute to the comment.

"No, he's fine." Frank rubbed her shoulder while he chuckled. "I get it. We call those types of S.O.'s Americans in Canada."

"Thanks, Annie." Whiskers nodded at her in the mirror. He glanced back at Thalia before looking at the road once more. "Anyway, yeah, Uncle Fred moved me into a hotel in Jersey City. After that, things got...complicated."

"You did something stupid, didn't you?" Thalia snorted. His eyes flicked to her and away, but he didn't answer. She crossed her arms and smirked. She had him now. "You did. You did something stupid and got kicked out!"

"Wow, you figured that out so easily." Hazel blinked.

"I'm just that good." Thalia smirked.

"It's because she knows him so well."

"Annie, whose side are you on?!"

"Thalia, I got a freaking battle cat from having one of these Naruto guys as my 'big brother'." Annabeth threw her hands at the screen. "This one has puppies! If getting one means that you have to hitch up with him, then girl, you're going to hitch up with him!"

"Or we could just be friends!" Thalia snapped. A resounding snort echoed through the Olympian council chambers, with only Zeus, Artemis and Thalia herself not making a sound. "What? That's so hard to believe?!"

"Thalia Grace," Hera smirked. "I will happily watch you suffer while watching an alternate version of yourself fall in love. Again."

"Hera. Love's not evil!" Aphrodite whined.

"Mom, you use it as a threat all the time."

"Piper, don't interrupt what you don't understand."

"No, I did–...Okay, yes, maybe being arrested for manslaughter does count as doing something stupid. Pretty sure Alf took care of that, though." Whiskers frowned. "At least, I hope he did."

"M-Manslaughter?!" Thalia, Annabeth and Percy repeated incredulously.

"Alf?" Rachel Elizabeth Dare's eyebrow shot up. "Are you talking about that old eighties sitcom?"

"We do not talk about the kitten eater. It's just not right." Hermes hung his head in shame.

"You never had to tell me about it." Dionysus groaned. "Those poor cats."

"Anyone else notice how Rachel focused on the television show and not the crime?" Leo asked.

"Yep." Percy and Annabeth chirped.

"You don't seem that surprised." Piper noted.

"You've met Rachel." Annabeth gave her a pointed look. "Are you that surprised?"

"...Not really."

"No, I, uh…" Whiskers glanced at Thalia, silently asking who this girl was. Thalia sympathized. Sure, Red was nice and all, but her presence really did kind of throw off their dynamic. Still, she shrugged in response, telling him to go for it with a roll of her hand.

"How are they still so in sync?!" Aphrodite groaned. "Thalia dated another boy!"

"Yeah, one date a relationship does not make." Apollo snorted.

"It's more than these two have ever done!"

"They literally spent months on the road together fighting monsters."

"That was before the fun years, it doesn't mean anything!"

"Could the both of you stop arguing about my hypothetical son's nonexistent love life with my current Lieutenant?" Artemis asked with a frown.

"Where's the fun in that?" "Absolutely not." They replied.

Whiskers cleared his throat. "No. He's someone I'm not allowed to talk about."

Another God? Thalia frowned. No, wait, that's not important, there was a more pressing query to investigate.

"You got arrested for Manslaughter?" Yes, that. Thank you, Annabeth.

"They were mafia goons and Ogres." Whiskers scowled. "They shot up my hotel room while I was making lunch. I was defending myself."

"An Ogre like Shrek?" Percy asked. "Those are real?"

"Yes. And they're like onions." Leo smirked.

"I knew it." Percy narrowed his eyes.

"You guys call them something else." Whiskers shrugged. "Personally, I think it's insensitive to Canadians."

"You mean...Laestrygonians?" Annabeth asked, arching a brow.

"That explains it." Frank threw his arms up. "That's where he got it from! I should've known!"

"What?" Annabeth frowned.

"Percy called a group of them Canadians once while we were on our quest." Hazel explained lowly.

"Oh. Sorry." Annabeth grimaced.

"Yeah," Whiskers nodded. "I think calling them 'Ogres' is more appropriate. What if you meet a few actual Canadians? Or Canadian Demigods? You don't think they go around calling them Canadians do you?"

"...That's a good point…" Annabeth frowned. "Why do we call them Canadians? How did that start?"

"Yes, let's explore this. Please." Frank smirked.

"Hey, I said I was sorry." Percy groaned.

"No, you said you were sore-ee!"

"And then I apologized for real!"

"While laughing!" Frank groused. "It doesn't count."

"Wait, hold on, back up." Rachel Elizabeth Dare frowned. "Why did the Mob shoot your hotel room?"

Thalia frowned. That was a very good question. She looked at Whiskers for his reaction.

"I beat up their boss at a grocery store after he threatened the cashier with a gun." He shrugged.

"All casually like." Apollo snickered.

Of course he did. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Whiskers…did you ever think it was a good idea to, I don't know, not get involved in fighting the Mafia?!" Thalia asked, glaring at him. Whiskers looked at her, his pierced brow arched once more.

"I didn't know he was with the Mafia until the rest of his goons and their Ogres showed up to kill me." He looked back at the road. "Anyway, after Alf bailed me out, he got me a job in Boston."

"Boston? My cousin lives there," Annabeth said, perking up from her muttered train of thought. Huh, that had to be the first Thalia's ever heard of Mr. Chase's family extending to more than his wife.

"Does he? That would've been great to know." Whiskers huffed. "Doesn't matter. I'm never going back to Boston."

"Why? What's wrong with Boston?" Percy asked. He tilted his head and added. "Aside from their baseball team."

"Stupid Red Sox." Annabeth scowled.

"You said it." Percy nodded.

"Can't say."

"Can't or won't?" Thalia asked, scowling. Was he keeping secrets again? She thought they were past that. If he was, he was getting another punch in the arm. Driving be damned.

"Can't." Whiskers grunted. "Mom told me to keep what happened in Boston to myself. She even bribed me."

"Bribed you?" Thalia asked. Whiskers pointed at the piercing on his face.

"This replaced the circlet."

Artemis didn't know it yet, but she'd just become Thalia's favorite Greek god.

"You girls still aren't getting those piercings." Artemis told her second-in-command.

"Hoover dammit."

"Thalia Grace, language." Hestia warned.

"I can't win." Thalia groaned.

"Okay, you keep talking about your mom and Uncle Fred, but…I've never heard of a god named Fred." Rachel frowned. Thalia took pity on her and turned to look her in the eye.

"Whiskers is the son of Artemis."

"...I'm not sure which implication from that sentence surprises me the most." The redheaded girl blinked. "That you just told me the goddess of virgins had a kid, that the god Apollo goes by Fred, or that the aforementioned goddess named her child 'Whiskers.'"

"There is a lot to unpack from that." Hazel admitted. "I mean, if I heard it, I probably wouldn't believe it."

"I think that would hurt Naruto's feelings. Depending on the camp he's from." Leo mumbled.

"Why?"

"Call it intuition."

Percy and Annabeth started giggling like the immature teenagers they were. Thalia couldn't stop the grin that formed on her face. She glanced at Whiskers and–Oh, Hoover Dam, he was blushing. That was too cu—No, not cute! Thalia didn't think he was cute! Well, not more than he usually was—Dammit hormones, go take a cold shower!

"You are thirsty." Nico snorted.

"Here." Dionysus snapped his fingers.

"Oh, gee." Thalia deadpanned at the two-liter of diet coke in her hands. "Thanks."

"Whatever. Stop dehydrating."

"...D, that soda won't–Never mind, you're not listening." Apollo sighed.

"Thanks, Thalia. Thanks so much." Whiskers glared at her from the corner of his eyes. He glanced up at the mirror to meet Rachel's eyes. "In order: I'm adopted, it's his favorite alias, my name is Naruto, and Tree Girl here–" Thalia scowled at him as Percy and Annabeth's giggles doubled in volume. Did he have to use that stupid nickname for her? It made her chest ache hearing it.

"Head. She meant head." Thalia quickly protested.

"No, she meant chest." Aphrodite smirked and looked at her nails. "Wouldn't be surprised if she wants head."

"Aphrodite, please!" Hestia frowned.

"–is the only one that can call me that and get away with it."

"What? What about me?!" Annabeth tried to pout despite not having recovered from her giggle fit.

"You laughed. You lost the right."

"Thalia laughed!"

"She also came up with it. Much as I hate it, we have to respect the artist's rights."

"...I'm extremely torn on this." Thalia grumbled.

"Oh really?" Annabeth asked, smirking. "Why?"

"Well, on one hand. Awesome, hilarious and accurate nickname for this guy made by yours truly."

"Rather simple isn't it?" Nico asked.

"The best ones always are." Percy snorted.

"What's the other hand, Thalia?" Jason asked. His sister's features darkened.

"The romantic undertones attached to it infuriate me."

"Because you feel them or because they're there?" Reyna asked.

"...Shut up and keep reading."

"This guy gets it." Rachel nodded.

"Thalia? An artist?" Percy asked with a snort. Thalia scowled at him.

"Wanna see me make a Picasso out of your face, Jackson? Because I will."

"Tree Girl, please do not turn my car into a crime scene."

"No, come on, dude! Don't make that nickname common use!" Thalia groaned.

"A Tree Girl and her Whiskers. Tale as old as time."

"Jackson, I will shoot you!"

Whiskers drawled, before uttering lowly. "Even if he deserves it—"

"I deserve it?" Apparently Percy heard him. "What'd I do?!"

"Your suggestion at Solstice."

"My wh—You're still mad about that?"

"Yes."

"That was months ago!"

"Talk about holding a grudge." Nico snorted.

"This boy would be so well paid." Hades muttered.

"Can't help how I feel." Whiskers shrugged.

"What suggestion?" Rachel asked. Percy huffed and crossed his arms.

"That his mom turns him into a girl so he can join the hunt and then change him back to a boy to get around Zeus' decree!" Percy explained. "It'd work, right?"

"It wouldn't." Annabeth sighed. "Whisker's uncle—"

"Annabeth." Whiskers warned and Thalia smirked triumphantly at her best friend from her seat.

"That's a Zeus face, right there." Hades drawled.

"Indeed." Poseidon nodded. "He was always so possessive."

"Well if you two would just listen to me and not eat the cake that Mother left for me and my wife–"

"She left it for all of us to enjoy!"

"On Olympus!"

"Brothers!" Hestia frowned. "Cease this childish squabbling!"

"...Zeus started it." Hades muttered, making his brother scowl at him.

"Hades, don't be petulant. It doesn't suit you."

The daughter of Athena pouted at her.

"Naruto's uncle," she corrected herself with a frown. "Apollo made Artemis swear an oath on the Styx not to change him into a girl. They never specified for how long, so any change would likely risk her breaking that oath."

"…Wow, no, yeah. You kind of deserve it." Rachel snorted.

"Rachel, come on." Percy threw his hands up. "I'm not that bad!"

"You were though," Nico said.

"...I...Ok, yes! I was!" Percy groaned and slumped in his seat. "I hate these stories sometimes…"

Percy frowned at her and she shrugged. "That's a terrible loophole, barely one if it's got a consequence. Not to mention the neurochemical cocktail whiplash he'd get from that series of biological transformations would probably break his brain."

"Aw, isn't that sweet, Whiskers? She thinks you have a brain." Thalia smirked at the blond boy. "Clearly, she wasn't listening to your story about the time your hotel room got shot up for attacking a mob boss."

Whiskers let out a mock laugh before he cranked the stereo's volume up and grumbled under his breath.

"...That's like two months after newlywed-phase dating banter." Aphrodite deadpanned. She rubbed her face. "How are–How are they so good but so hopeless without me?!"

"Better question," Hermes raised a finger. "Why hasn't Eros shot either of them yet?"

"Do not give her ideas." Artemis scowled.

Content with the small victory, Thalia chuckled to herself and enjoyed the drive. She closed her eyes as the vocals of Hetfield, Hammet and Burton filled her ears. This was actually pretty nice, she could see herself doing this all year instead of being in school. Just her, some good music, and the road.

"...That does sound awesome." Thalia nodded.

"Very well." Artemis sighed. "We will make one additional concert attendance, but nothing too obnoxious."

"You're the best, Lady Artemis."

Yeah, that sounded great. The only way it could be better was if Whiskers was there with her.

I looked away for one second and came back to find you having daydreams about your hunk? I really am good at what I do! A familiar titter echoed in her head.

"Why? Why?! WHY!?" Thalia banged her head on the back of the couch before glaring at the Goddess of Love. "Are you seriously that bored!?"

"Thalia Grace, I'm hurt. I'm dedicating my personal time to help you and this is the thanks I get?" Aphrodite frowned. "I should make you enamored with a frog."

"Pretty sure your son was the one with toads." Artemis snipped. She smirked at her rival's squawk.

"That was also my legacy, Artemis." Athena frowned.

"Yes, but do the toads bother you?"

"..."

"Athena?"

"..."

"...Well, owl-pellets, you'll be happy to know I learned something useful today." Ares smirked.

It was this day that Athena calculated how to murder her entire family. And witnesses.

Thalia's happy thoughts immediately turned sour for the goddess of love. Oh, don't fret, my dear. Your hunky boy toy is all yours…for the next twenty minutes. Enjoy them while you can.

The implications in her words left a swirl of dark feelings in Thalia's gut.

"Jealousy, stalking mannerisms, other Yandere tendencies, possessiveness." Apollo ticked off his fingers.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Thalia frowned at the god of the sun.

"Possessiveness?"

"Before that."

"Ohh, the stalking. Well, you are a Hunter—"

"No. After that, but before possessiveness."

"Was kind of hoping you wouldn't specify." Apollo mumbled. "Well, yandere...are…possessive lovers. To the point that they will, oh...kill-all-others-who-might-threaten-their-place."

"What?!" Thalia gaped.

"Yeah, it's a complicated character trope."

Only Thalia can call you Whiskers, huh? The Fox snorted. What would you say to your mother if she ever asked you about that?

"Likely give the same rational reasoning he gave them." Artemis huffed.

"And you don't see the affection there?" Aphrodite asked flatly.

"A name from the bond of friendship, perhaps. Otherwise, no."

"You are a dull, dull arrowhead."

"You take that back!"

"That Uncle Fred told me all about how overlooked artist's rights are." Naruto grumbled lowly. He rubbed his face, confused by the heat that he felt. Didn't he just get the heater fixed in this thing? "Why would Mom even care?"

Even The Bitch wasn't this obstinate. The Fox rumbled lowly, and Naruto furrowed his brows further, but stopped himself from interrupting when it spoke louder. Because, boy, that little creative 'artist' of yours is female.

"So?"

Old Sage, preserve me. The Fox growled. She is radiating pheromones, you nose blind idiot. How are you going to get your degree if I have to explain this to you?

"Slowly and with pictures from the internet?" Leo suggested.

"That's my plan." Percy nodded. "Get into New Rome's college, abuse their internet, and ace my classes."

"Percy, there's not... not really good internet near Jupiter." Reyna sighed at the admittance.

"Yeah, that's why I said New Rome."

"...Seaweed Brain, honey." Annabeth chuckled as she hugged him. "Oh, you are going to hate books by the time you graduate."

"...The implications of what you're saying irritate and horrify me."

Naruto frowned. Nose blind? What? Thalia didn't exactly smell any different. Sure, the human nose wasn't as good as others in the Animal Kingdom, but Naruto was raised by the Goddess of the Hunt and trained further by the King of Alfheim. His nose was, in the words of his uncle, "up to snuff" compared to others.

Naruto took an experimental whiff of the air, catching the scents of those riding in his interior. The son of Poseidon still smelled like the salty sea breeze, Annabeth like a freshly cracked book, and Red…actually, she didn't have much of a distinct scent. Definitely mortal, then. Still, he thought about what he remembered of Thalia's scent and shook his head. The Fox was clearly mistaken, because she still smelt like the lingering dew after a thunderstorm.

"...That's kind of detailed." Frank muttered.

"You telling me you don't have Hazel's scent?" Leo smirked.

"Th-That's totally different and also not the point!" He huffed.

"No, I kind of want to hear the answer to this," Hazel said, crossing her arms.

As he was thinking about this, he pulled into a public lot in Colorado Springs and parked. Once the others got out, he grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. Noticing their stares, he arched an eyebrow and shrugged.

"I've got a class in an hour. That's why I was driving to the city in the first place."

"You're in summer school?" Thalia seemed surprised by it. He looked at her, a mite annoyed with the implication of what her question meant about his intellect.

"That's a fair assumption." Athena huffed. "Considering he preferred to play with pooches rather than study."

"He trains both his mind and his body." Artemis argued while she crossed her arms. "As I train my hunters."

"Oh, Lady Artemis, you just reminded me. The Trivial Pursuit night ain't really cutting it for some of our Hunters." Thalia reported.

"What?"

"Yeah, some of the girls were feigning illness to skip out last week."

"...Wh–But…One of them was missing an arm!"

"Irna had really good practice sewing Camilla's arm back on."

"You were saying, Artemis?" Athena asked, smirking.

"No one asked you for your opinion, Athena." Artemis grumbled and slumped in her throne.

"College." He adjusted his bag as they started walking towards a cafe. His stomach rumbled, and he thought about the instant ramen cup he'd left out earlier. Bruno had his table trick down, and now he had to find a way to keep the Beta wolf from eating his food while his back was turned. "I'm working on getting a Bachelor's in wildlife biology."

"While also being in High School?" Percy asked.

"He's a masochist." Percy deadpanned.

"He's into Thalia. Of course he is." Nico snorted.

"Wha–What is that supposed to mean?!" Thalia scowled.

"If I have to spell it out, you won't learn."

Poor guy looked dizzy at the thought of juggling both types of classes. Naruto sympathized. It seemed like a lot to him too, before he stumbled across the GED application and swiftly nipped that concern in the bud.

"Nah, I got my GED months ago."

"...I demand proof." Athena scowled. Artemis frowned.

"Why?" she asked. "My son has not shown himself to be like most other dumb males...well, not as much like them. His idiocy tends to linger around his personal well-being."

"He was all for gallivanting with your wolves rather than study. I wish to see his scores."

"So what?" Ares drawled, head perched on the arm of his throne. "Is it so impossible to fathom that the brat is smart enough to study and take his doggies for walkies?"

"...Are you Mars right now?" Athena narrowed her eyes.

"Hell no." Ares scowled. He gestured at the screen with his hand. "Look, it pains me to admit it, but this kid is awesome. So he's a bit of a nerd, so what? He's only doing it to survive the 'mortal' world long enough before he flips out and kills 'em all off!"

"Or ravages Thalia in a lust-filled haze." Aphrodite nodded. Ares glanced at her and shrugged.

"Yeah, sure, but that wouldn't be as fun though."

"Wait, what if he did both?"

"See?! This is why I sleep with you! You're a genius!"

Hephestaus cradled his face in his palm and groaned.

"Oh, did you?" Thalia turned to smirk at Annabeth. The blonde girl was scowling at him like he'd committed an atrocity. The daughter of Zeus crossed her arms with an air of smugness. "Hear that, Annie? Whiskers got into college just fine with his GED."

"Gosh darn it, Naruto, don't give her an argument!" Annabeth scowled.

"Careful, Annie, he might take your puppy away."

"Thalia, I'm older than you now. Don't make me tutor you."

"I said it would be harder, Thalia, not impossible."

"Maybe for Ivy Leagues, but not if you go for a partnership with a community college." Naruto shrugged at the daughter of Athena's look of betrayal. "What? Pikes Peak's community college is way more convenient than any 'official' school, and I don't have to dedicate a lot of time to it."

"Bu—Naruto," Annabeth frowned. "How is anyone going to take your credentials seriously?"

"That is small-time thinking, Chase." Red shot at her as Naruto led them into the cafe. "Trust me, most employers don't really care what school you went to as long as you sell yourself right."

"Red knows the score." Naruto nodded.

"Oh, come–Dang it, Rachel!" Annabeth groaned.

"Wow, not even here and she still gets on your bad side, huh?"

"Shut it, McLean."

He slung his pack on the back of a chair and claimed a seat at the table, before ordering some soda and food for them all. He looked at the three demigods and the lone mortal with them. "You know, we never got around to why you guys are in Colorado in the first place."

"We were in the Labyrinth." Red told him before any of the others could speak. "Looking for its creator."

"David Bowie?" Naruto asked with a frown. He wasn't huge on the man's music. Mostly because when he was younger, Uncle Fred loved to put "Moonage Daydream" on to mess with him whenever they drove somewhere.

"Such a lie of a song." Artemis grumbled.

"Don't hate on Bowie, I've only got him for another decade tops." Apollo scowled.

"Daedalus," Annabeth said with a scowl on her face. "But he's gone. Hiding."

"From K-the Crooked One's army," Percy added. At his words, a look of remorse flashed across Thalia's face and he looked at her.

"Everything okay?"

Thalia hesitated before giving her response. Two words that changed little in the grand scheme, but so much for their group.

"Luke's alive."

"…I'm gonna need details on that." Naruto deadpanned.

"Yeah…" Hermes tugged at his collar.

"He sold us out."

"Apollo!" Hermes gaped.

"Sorry, Herm. It's the truth. It compels me to speak it!"

Annabeth and Percy started to recount their adventure, Percy adding in dreams he was having, but through it all Naruto focused his attention on Thalia, even if only out of his peripherals. The way she messed with the offered utensils or fidgeted in her seat. Her eyes were locked on the table. Whatever had happened between her and Luke in the Labyrinth had really bothered her.

This Luke kid sounds like he needs to be eaten. The Fox muttered.

"Have I mentioned how much I like this thing?" Ares asked, grinning.

"A lot." Hephaestus grunted. "I'm starting to hate it."

"Don't tempt me." Naruto mumbled.

"You'd be willing to go with us?" Annabeth asked, eyes lightening. Thalia's own eyes seemed to brighten up. Uh-oh, Naruto did it again. He lost track of the conversation.

"He'll never be able to handle three girls at once at this rate." Aphrodite tutted.

"Unlike my son, he'll never be in a situation where he has to." Apollo sighed. "We'll be lucky if Thalia gets him to ditch his chastity belt at all."

"There's an idea…" Artemis muttered.

"Do not make me get a squirt bottle!" Apollo scowled at her.

"No." Annabeth and Thalia looked more than a little disappointed. He shrugged. "Chances of winding up in Camp are too high if I go with you guys. No offense, but I'll pass on getting the permanent eviction from life."

"Drat." Zeus huffed softly.

"Father, really?"

"He's a threat, Artemis. A wild card."

"Oh, that's why you never play Uno with us!" Poseidon mumbled. He glanced at Hades. "I thought you forgot to invite him."

"I didn't. I choose not to."

"We'll revisit this revelation–"

"We're present at this game night as well, Zeus. Calm yourself." Hera sighed, gesturing at herself, Demeter and Hestia.

"That's all the more reason to revisit it!" Zeus thundered.

"Oh…"

"I can tell you there's a weird glow around the Mining and Industry museum. Never got a bad feeling from it, so I let it be." He shrugged. "That, and I'm not interested in minerals."

Thalia snorted. "Says the guy who ate lead and lived."

"Funny. Does that mean you want to be a forester, Tree Girl?" Naruto asked. He chuckled at the way her scowl made her freckled nose scrunch up. His eyes flicked to the clock behind her and he cursed. His class was soon. "I gotta go or I'll be late. Museum closes in twenty minutes. Better get moving before you pull a B-and-E."

"We literally do that all the time though. Shouldn't the Mist cover us?" Percy asked with a frown. Naruto pointed at Red.

"She's literally a Mist repellent."

"…that explains the cheerleaders…"

"Talk about an orgy!"

"That's not what happened!" Percy and Annabeth protested.

There was not enough context in the world to make that sentence make sense to him.

"Agreed." Artemis deadpanned. She held a hand up when the two demigods tried to explain. "I don't care. Let's just move on."

As the questers started to leave, Naruto reached out and put a hand on Thalia's arm, holding her up. He gave her a small smile when she arched her brow.

"Hang on one second." Naruto dropped his pack to the ground. He pulled a notebook out and ripped some paper before scrawling his number on it. He gave it to her and at her confused look he shrugged. "I promised I'd always be there for you, and I blew that. Sorry. But now, we can talk whenever you want. Preferably, without the punching."

"What? No. That's totally her thing." Apollo snorted.

"Tsundere Thalia." Aphrodite giggled.

"I'm not!" Thalia protested, face red.

"…Thanks, Whiskers." The way Thalia smiled then seemed to make time slow. He noticed her freckles really added a charm to her features.

"...Shut up, Annie!" Thalia glared daggers at her smirking friend.

"I didn't say anything."

"I will." Nico smirked. "Thalia your freckles are looking awfully red."

"You have a death wish, di Angelo?"

"No, but I can go into a trance."

Hm, that's odd. All of a sudden his chest hurt and his heart rate had spiked, but precipitation hadn't increased so it wasn't an adrenaline rush. Weird.

"You've damaged his brain." The goddess of love complained while Artemis looked amused.

"No, I just raised him properly."

"To not beat his meat?" Ares added.

"...Along those lines, yes, Ares." Artemis rubbed her head. "Ugh, I agreed with you."

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Athena asked snidely.

I can't believe it. You're worse than The Bitch.

What was that supposed to mean?

His silent inquiry went unanswered. By the time Naruto snapped himself from his confusion, Thalia had already pocketed his number and jogged off after the others.

Huh, she really made those black jeans work…

"Gods," his eyes closed as he realized what he was doing. He pinched his nose and hung his head. "Damn it. Uncle Fred, Alf, whoever is the cause of my hormones. Stop."

"Never!" Aphrodite cheered to fight the good fight that needed fighting! Love was a mother flipping battlefield!

"Hm, you know, Artemis," Apollo started. "You're the goddess of fertility, right?"

"Yes—No." Artemis glared at her twin. She knew exactly what he was insinuating.

"But I mean, you could possibly be at fault here." The god of the sun started ticking off his fingers. "Being around him so much, blessing him...Who knows how that's affecting his mortal alien hormones?"

"No, I refuse to acknowledge you suggested something so asinine." Artemis growled.

"Something so asinine, it's right?!"

"No. Just asinine."

Rachel Elizabeth Dare liked to think herself quite observant. She was quick on the uptake due to her father's demanding upbringing. Few could say she was easily fooled, as evidenced by her dismissal of Chase's 'subtle' belittling.

"...That was subtle?" Percy asked, frowning.

"There were quotes around the word." Reyna admitted.

"Oh, that makes more sense."

Hence why, while Percy and Chase were arguing about that 'Luke' creep behind them, she asked the question that's been in her mind since Thalia first leaned into Naruto's Jeep.

"So how long did you two date before you broke up?" She asked, looking at Thalia.

"The target has been marked. The boy doesn't stand a chance." Aphrodite smirked.

"What?" Percy blinked.

"What? Clearly, Rachel is prepping to dig her claws into the single guy. It's the wisest choice."

"Don't use my domain in vain." Athena looked scathingly at the goddess of love.

"Funny, considering–"

"Quiet, Poseidon." The goddess of wisdom snapped.

"Wh-what?" The seventeen year old looked at her, wide eyed.

"You and the studded stud back there?" Rachel threw her thumb over her shoulder before crossing her arms. "You guys were together right? I mean, the way you two were making googly-eyes at each other was nauseatingly sweet for a couple that broke up. I think I got a cavity just from watching."

"W-we weren't-! Whiskers and I never-!" Oof, Thalia lost a lot of her thus far stacked "cool" points with that denial.

"Oh, no, however will I survive?" Thalia huffed.

"I dunno," Nico said, rubbing his chin. "Dare is our Oracle. She's got a lot of clout in Camp."

"Yeah, so what? I'm a Hunter now."

"Right, and Zoë's not here because–"

"Okay! Okay, point made." Thalia interjected quickly. She felt her patron goddess' ire rise as soon as the former lieutenant was mentioned.

She had it bad for that guy, and it was painfully obvious he wasn't any better. A bit more socially awkward than she was, but that made it kind of sweeter.

"You never dated?" Rachel asked, a bit incredulous. It wasn't that she didn't believe Thalia, but rather that she couldn't believe her. The girl missed out on trying anything with that guy? Why? Because she was a demigod and he wasn't? That's stupid.

"You heard it here. Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Oracle of Camp Half-Blood, has decreed that Thalia Grace is stupid." Nico smirked.

"So she proclaims, so it shall be!" Apollo decreed with a flourished wave of his hand.

"Apollo!"

"What? Sorry Sis, I gotta go with Team Oracle on this one."

There was a reason Rachel wasn't just going to roll over for Chase. Percy was a decent guy who was cute to boot, anyone would be lucky to snag a guy like that. Until he said otherwise, it was open season. And no offense to the daughter of Athena, but Rachel had gone hunting before.

"Shots fired." Piper mumbled while Annabeth's eye twitched.

"And she's not wrong." Hazel nodded. She smiled at Frank. "Still got my pick, though."

"I wasn't worried, but then you said that." Frank pouted playfully. He was reassured with a quick peck. They were pelted with snacks.

"Oh, get a room!" Leo scowled. He refilled his snack bowl and huffed.

"No! We're just friends. Is that so wrong? What do you care?" Geez, she'd never known freckles could glow. Did her freckles do that? She hoped not. Talk about embarrassing.

"It isn't and I don't." Rachel shrugged. She just felt that life was worth living with no regrets. Who knows what could happen the next day? It's why she put her all into every project she was part of. "Just thought you two had some chemistry. He looked like he had it bad."

Okay, maybe she was stirring the pot here, but Rachel felt like they had to at least try.

"Wh-what?" Did, hold on, did Thalia "I can shoot lightning from my fingertips" Grace just squeak?

"No, I didn't! Liar!" Thalia hissed, the slightest hint of red in her cheek.

"That's not what the book says." Reyna pointed at the words, even rereading the passage.

"...You need to pick a side, Roman Girl, 'fore I throw you over to one."

Rachel was wrong. Thalia didn't have it bad; she was doomed. And if Thalia was like this, she could only imagine what Naruto was like. She kind of wished she was a telepath just so she could get their thoughts on the matter. It was bound to be very entertaining.

"Oh, it is." Aphrodite giggled. She sighed. "Yes, another Hippolytus-crisis averted. You're welcome everyone."

"He was fine." Artemis groaned.

"That was precisely the problem, Artemis. I'm proud of you for noticing."

"I didn't mean it that way and you know it."

"C'mon, you're telling me you didn't notice how he'd always smile a little whenever he looked at you?" Rachel tilted her head in thought. "Okay, maybe not smile, but he perked up a bit."

"No, he just— We're just friends." Thalia protested. Rachel arched a brow, was it her imagination or did she detect a hint of disappointment? Better give her another subtle nudge.

"Apollo, I will fight you for her." Aphrodite smirked.

"Are we talkin' literal fight or sexy bedtime pillow fight?"

"Apollo!" Artemis hissed at the same time Aphrodite responded. "The latter, obviously."

"Awesome. Oh, uh, obligated to say this." Apollo pulled a notepad out and looked at Hephaestus. "Sorry in advance. I owe you, or one child of your choice, one favor."

"...There is so much wrong with this." Hephaestus grumbled, rubbing his head but nodding. "Fine, whatever."

"I guess if that's how you feel, that's all you'll be then." She shrugged. "I'm sure he'll get over it and meet someone in college. It always happens."

"Aren't you a freshman?" Thalia scowled at her.

"Yeah, but I still have ears and friends outside of Percy."

"Again, the shots fired from this girl." Piper smirked.

"Right? Rachel's awesome." Nico grinned impishly.

"The day the both of you die, I will dance on your graves." Thalia deadpanned.

Rachel smiled back. A glint of light caught her eye at the next intersection. She looked back at the boy in question and Chase, who'd taken to walking in silence with their thoughts for the past few minutes. "C'mon, you two, we've got some road to cover!"

"That was a great insight to my amazing oracle's earlier years." Apollo grinned. He sat back and interlaced his hands behind his head. "Yeah, I've got it good."

"Please read the next chapter before I indulge my sudden desire for kinslaying." Artemis mumbled, rubbing her temples.