SamuZai
mcmansionhell
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new jersey bonus post: 5 additional, wonderful rooms

(Note: this post is free for a limited time - usually it would only be available to $3+ Patrons -- Happy Thanksgiving!)

Alas, we return to the long, long, long 19th century. What's strange about this house is that they didn't include any of the other bedrooms in the listing -- there is one I could find on Zillow, but still, if I was going to drop $3.5 mil on this thing I should be able to see every room.

At any rate, there are several bonus bonus rooms here for perusal. The first is the second sitting room:

 If I were in grad school for architectural history (or, frankly, American studies) I would be tearing my hair out trying to create evidence for an additional colonial revival that is somehow different than the bicentennial colonial revival -- one predicated on worse furniture than the barrel chairs.

 The hold hunter green and English ivy motifs had on the mid-90s is also an understudied cultural element. Weird kind of pastoral kitsch.

 Sherlock Holmes didn't die and then get brought back to life because his death was going to bankrupt the newspaper the stories were serialized in for this.

 Of course there would be a wine cave! Every type of beverage-consuming social situation, internalized with in the home, has to be represented or it's not REAL wealth. Also I like how we have to pretend there's not drywall behind all those rocks.

 Finally, we have the last bedroom (I had to switch to Zillow so sorry about the arrows) which is a key insight into the rest of the house: it's somehow even more dated despite being built at the same time as the other rooms. The thing is, the other rooms are also very 1997, so I don't quite know how this is possible. Talent!

Comments

WAIT. This was all in the same house???

H Bailie

Bedsheets that match the wall paper...

Riking

I like how the sculpted end of the kitchen island effectively reduces the space between the island and fridge without adding useful surface to the island. And there isn't a space shown there that I could feel at all comfortable in.

Mike Traynor

Big agree on that sunroom - p sure I had the same paperback edition, and this room is screaming crying throwing up for more plants. A disgrace overall

Mandi

The other bedrooms can be seen in the 3d tour thing on zillow, in case anyone wants to see what even the realtor deemed unfit for photos. Don’t miss the one on the first floor

Dale Price

That library ceiling is grotesque!

Tim Ramion

Having grown up in Napa I can tell you that is an extremely modest amount of wine that would be consumed in about three months by some people I know lmao.... The fake rocks are very corny and they don't seem to really be maximizing the space. "I'm rich so I guess I have to have a wine cellar" vibes.

haley

I honestly can't imagine living in a house this hideous by choice. They had money, they could have decorated with anything! Do you really think they walk into those god-awful rooms and think "yes nailed it"?

Lanth

One simply doesn't have a well lit wine cave, does one? Seems wrong somehow.

allanfranta


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