Claptrap Chapter 31 - Fate or Luck, It's fickle.

Shaking myself about, losing up gears and joints that can’t really be “loosened up” without oil and grease, I took my new S&S Machine Shock Pistol in hand and slowly rolled towards the edge of the “arena”. Once upon a time this specific spot of the Depot was a deep core mining hole that they dug Eridium for, until it ran out. Then it was turned into Dahl’s Military Depot, keeping weapons, vehicles, mechs, and other equipment in this area while under command via Sanctuary.

If the bandits could be run out…and if my stupid ass doesn’t get killed because my luck runs out, this place could be started up again for local needs.

“I’m being a f@($ing idiot” I mummer as I land on the bottom portion of the pit. Immediately I rolled to the right side of the incline, putting the gun away as I leapt and grabbed the ledge. Claptraps possess enough strength to right themselves by kicking their bodies off the ground, which meant they had enough strength to actually lift themselves.

Which is when I heard, rather than saw, the sounds of heavy footsteps to my left and the snarling pants of monster bandit. I felt terror fill me as I turned left and activated my ability to get a good look at him. To my relief, the guy, who was way the fuck bigger than I remember, was on the opposite side of the arena to me. He and his little band of midgets were charging towards me with buzzaxes, screeching their little heads off. I fired my pistol off at the group, not really aiming except “at” them. Two were hit with bullets and stumbled, but the third one got hit in the head, and immediately was lit up like a cartoon character with lightning exploding out of him.

I was momentarily distracted by the “shocking” event, but seeing the group ignore their fallen fellow, I refocused on the two coming at me and fired until I ran out of bullets. The big guy was sprinting towards me the whole time, and I felt my fear increase with every step that stomped loudly across concrete.

“Holy Crap you’re big!” I found myself shouting as I rolled backwards towards the hole I crawled out of, near the crates that were just gathering dust. The midgets cried out as they were kicked aside by the giant monster of a man, who just roared and swung his hand at me, slamming into my shield, and sent me flying into the stone walls of the arena. My shield again took all of the hit and was shut down immediately, and I actually took damage from his hand and then the impact on rock.

I was dazed, and time slowed down completely as I activated my ability and hyper focused on my situation. Though a second passed in real time, enough time passed for me in…wow. I keep calling it bullet time, but Hyper-time sounds way cooler. I should call it that from now on!

Wait...no. Focus Calper…Clappit…Claptrap…Gates…ME DAMMIT! ME! FOCUS.

My eye looked towards the group that I was just bitch-slapped away from. Then alerts filled my vision and I took a gander and blanched inwardly as I looked at the damage. This was worse than when I was tossed off the buggy as Bruce crashed it into the cliff. I was damaged then, but my mind and body were mostly intact.

Now…yeah, my insides are now loose and only working because wires are flexible. My arm sockets are actually out of alignment, and my hydraulics for my legs are bent, making jumping and generally going over anything that’s not FLAT an impossible thing to do without shaking like a “Ford Model-T” over every pebble and bump.

That one strike fucked me nearly beyond all reason. Fortunately, I was able to move, though now it’s not as it should be. I moved with a limp, so to speak, as my hydraulics also aligned my wheel, which are now bent. My left arm is now higher than my right because my left arm was jammed against the rock wall and pushed up into my chassis. Oh, and my eye was semi-detached from its socket, and was floating a bit.

Suffice to say…this was a horrible fucking idea, fighting this monster, and karma just decided that I needed a kick for all the good luck I had up till now.

Fortunately, I still had my most potent weapon. Clichéd as it is to say, my mind is my best weapon, damaged as it currently is.

The giant had slammed his fist into me with a backhand, but he carried through the crates that had been sitting there for who knew how long, and sent debris flying all over the place in the form of wood bits, metal bits, free flying tarps, and most importantly to me, dust. While it wasn’t like smoke, it was thick enough to create quite a bit of cover visually.

I slide and landed wheel first on the floor, my gyro managing to keep me upright despite it being wonky. I felt pain…like a pain where you jump from a height and land on your feet, but your legs just happen to be broken. Yeah…it hurt like hell. I think I screamed. I can’t tell.

Time sped up again, and the giant was roaring angrily as his hand was wrapped up with tarp, and crate bits that were hanging on were slapping him and his mini-me groupies about. I think I can…

Yeah…I have an idea…I think.

I pulled out all the grenades I had…and tossed them one at a time at the mess, before flinging one more which had been armed.

“Oh…hey. My shield thingy is back! It’s blue! I like blue. It’s also Full. That’s-“

My delirious mumbling was cut off as the pile of explosive ordinance exploded, and showered my shield with debris and blood bits. I sat there, and for a few minutes everything was silent until the dust settled. Nothing but a piled of dead guys, including one giant pile of meat.

“Huh…I dub thee…Meat Mountain. May ye be doop.” I spoke with a cackling laugh as my voice crackled.

My brain was kinda here…and there…and where? I don’t know. I was rolling forward toward the middle. Oh, it was opening. Finger Keys were displayed upon the rising platform, as they had in the game.

“Let me pull your fingers. KEK!” I chuckled like a loon as I held the keys aloft and spun in place before my wheel protested, and promptly made me fall over with a clang.

“…owie.”

With a pained grunt, and what little mind I had, I pushed myself up and began rolling towards the platform that…somehow…extended across the gap to the garage.

“convienent. Must have an angel watching me. Beautiful girly girl. Burly turly gurly nipple clampy bampy-“ I spoke before a part of me slapped my face, causing PAIN to flash through me and made my faculties focus on it.

“…Keep it together…Let’s leave…fix. I need to get…fixer up[p]er…wa!t…am I speaking in sym@ols now? Cr^d!” I say, slightly panicked, and manic.

I rolled faster, risking falling about as I rushed to get back to Maverick. I passed by dead bodies, pools of blood, and chunks before stopping and remembering the exit that appeared near the end of the “mission” in the game. Did that happen here? Yes! I think it happens! As I go into the second garage, yup, there’s the second door. It isn’t open though. Can I open it? I should, Claptraps open doors!

I reached out for the door, and found it was open.

“Open Dopen.”

I rolled in, my arms wide with finger keys flying in the wind as I was suddenly spotted by guys in masks.

“It’s a Claptrap.” One of them said before the other spoke up.

“Shoot it anyways!”

Huh, my shield popped as bullets hit it. Never noticed that before…

“I miss popcorn!” shouted as some part of me took control and pulled out the support machinegun and started firing straight ahead. How I wasn’t just falling over, I would never figure out, not that I was really thinking at this moment.

“Shooty Scooty! BWAHAHAHAHA!”

I kept firing ahead of myself, just aiming by turning my body, and ended up taking out all seven of the bandits that had rushed into the skull decorated pool room…or was it a pipe dream?

No more shooting happened so I put the gun away and flew around like I was an airplane.

“Brrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!” I shouted like an airplane, as I moved through another door. Oh! The first hallway! I’m near the front! Yey!

----

Maverick sat, worried. He was worried ever since Gates wandered off to check on the status of the place. He hadn’t quite believed that the place was empty of bandits, but then again Gates somehow had gotten to where he was in the complex, so there had to be some truth to it.

Then he heard the gunfire, and the explosions, and he shivered in terror and guilt at sending his fellow bot to an early grave. He should have just gone with him to Fyrestone instead of sitting like a coward. His favorite cowboy characters would have been right along side Gates, like a pardner should.

Eventually the gunfire stopped, and then a massive explosion…and then more gunfire nearby. He shivered. He wanted to crawl away from the sounds. The bandits often used him for target practice and it hurt every time. They never stopped. He can’t stand it! He wanted to-

Suddenly a sound of…a child? Making a “WHEEEE” sound filled his audio pickup and he dared to look when a green, and very damaged looking green Claptrap flew into the entrance, literally, and fall onto his back. Maverick quickly opened up completely and rolled over to Gates in a panic.

“Are you alright partner!? Are you leaking!? OH GOD!” he screeched, when Gates placed a finger/clamp on Maverick’s lips/digitizer.

“SHHHHHHHhhhhhshshshshshshshhhhh…..okay pilgrim. Ah’m gonna be good as rain buckaroo…as soon as ah get all my dogs in a row for the painting of the wagon train. Death valley is a thing y’know.”

Maverick just stared at the down bot, processing what was just said and how damaged he had to be to say such crazy things in the first place, and Gates booped his snoot.

“Boooop.” Gates said in a Jamaican accent. “Ah me friend! It is good to see you! Give me a Hug!” he said as he reached out to the blue robot, who backed off very fast.

“Ehhh! No Wheeled Warp Fuckery Mate!” Gates said in a faux Australian accent.

“You need repairs immediately! I will…leave…YES! I will leave and get help!” Maverick said determinedly, overriding his terror and guilt, and was about to fly past the fallen bot when suddenly said bot held out a key ring…with human fingers on it.

“Access granted to Travel Network. Biometric Lock…Disenganged! Woooo!” Gates cried out in a monotone robot voice before cheering like a normal bot.

Maverick backed off in disgust and fear, before then stopping, focusing on one finger in particular. With a quick scan…Maverick’s eye glowed brightly, and he practically ripped the keyring off of Gates hand.

“….Yes…I can’t access the net without orders…but with this!” He immediately turned and rooled towards the access hologram of the fast travel unit. At blinding speed, he opened up the command function, used the finger to open the lock, and began to reconnect the system to the network. Within seconds it was done, and he even took a bit more time to give only Claptraps access to it so no bandits could follow them.

He dropped the keyring onto the floor in disgust before dragging Gates to the unit.

“We’re outta here friend!” he shouted before slapping a clamp hand onto the unit and disappearing.

“Wendy! We’re flying! And there’s no place like HO-“ Gates shouted as he disappeared.

Fifteen minutes later, Roland and Brick run through the doorway, weapons aiming at the two paths for threats, and soon Lilith and Mordecai followed suit.

“Clear.” Roland grunted; his eyes sharp as he looked for anything out of place.

They looked about, before Brick and Mordecai both saw it.

“Woah. Are those the…keys…Gates mentioned before?” the Hunter asked aloud, more than a little weirded out by the sight as Brick plucked them up.

“Looks like it. I guess Ghost lady was right.” Brick replied lightly before seeing oil, and wheel tracks. He frowned as he followed them to the Fast Travel unit.

“…No way.” Brick said, before walking over and touching the fast travel unit.

“Fast Travel System is currently…active.” The machine announced.

“That little dog did it!” Brick cheered and laughed as he looked at the travel log, which had been unlocked. “Not only that, but it looks like he, and another claptrap, have transported back to Fyrestone Arena.”

Brick glanced at Roland, whom similarly looked amazed, as did Lilith and Mordecai, before smirking.

“Wanna follow em?”

“We’re gonna have to. We definitely need answers now.” Roland said with a determined finality.

Brick nodded and punched in the access to travel, and was given a denial.

“What? We can’t use this?” Brick growled in frustration, until suddenly the lights of the Depot began snapping on and off rapidly, and the Fast Travel unit flickered with it. Data and various screens appeared and disappeared for a few moments before finally stopping.

“Uh…that was weird.” Lilith said nervously.

The sound of a bloop filled the air, drawing their attention back to the Fast Travel unit.

“Access…Granted.”

“…huh. Convenient. Maybe ghost lady wants us to get back as much as we do.” Mordecai noted with a small amount of amusement.

“Let’s waste no time then.” Roland commanded as he reached over, and pressed a button on the holographic controls. He then disappeared in in a ring of light. The others quickly followed suit.

They reappeared inside the arena, and took note of the area, making sure no bandits were around when they spotted more oil and wheel marks.

“Got a trail here. Looks like someone is hurt…or damaged. However you wanna call it.” Lilith said with concern.

“Hopefully we’re not too late.” Roland grunted as he took the lead and jogged after the trail. As they made it outside, they looked over to where the trail led and made the obvious conclusion, and began running back to Fyrestone.

As they ran past the gate, they could hear the sound of Claptrap…Clappy, wailing in despair.

“Not again! I should have been there! Why does he keep doing this! We’re best bros! Brother’s in arms! We take on the universe with a skip in our step!....or Rollin in our wheel! Or…You get what I mean!”

The little robot was gesturing about, before taking hold of Cooler…or rather a new Blue Claptrap as Cooler was at the bar, watching the event, its arms crossed in a angry expression.

“What’s going on Clappy?” Brick asked, getting the attention of the robots.

Clappy looked to brick and released the robot before crying out in a sob and rolling over to Lilith, and hugging her legs. Lilith, for her part, looked awkward and did her best to keep balance while hesitatingly patting the robot’s head.

“Claptrap….Clappy.” Roland started, saying the robots chosen name, which drew Clappy’s attention to him.

“What happened?” He asked grimly.

“Gatey…is dying!”

They stared at him, before Mordecai spoke up.

“Was that sound effect necessary?”

"ALWAYS~" The small robot cried as he hugged Lilith's legs again, and she glared at him, only for him to smirk back.