MH3 - Chapter 8: Monsters Gone Shopping

“And this lasts for an hour?” Rufus asked, flipping his very human hands back and forth. He ran his fingers through his shaggy black hair and smirked at his reflection. She’d gotten so used to seeing him as a hollow-eyed Stagarth that this form looked strange.

“Give or take a few minutes,” Dolli said. “I had to modify the original potion to accept hero… samples. It made the timers a bit longer for everyone, but it seems not by exact amounts.”

“Is there an antidote for this?” Greg asked with an effeminate voice. “I don’t wanna spend a second longer like this than I hafta.”

Dolli shook her head.

Greg slouched in defeat. “Great.”

Katrina’s friends had been primarily females, and to keep things fair, everyone had randomly drawn a finger from the bucket. Greg had pulled the pristine, polished finger of Babe_XO_Gamer, a well-kept girl with long blonde hair and a voluptuous frame. Greg hadn’t been too happy about it, but accepted his temporary fate.

“Everyone have their shopping list?” Dolli asked.

They all held up their bit of parchment covered in scribbles.

“Let’s go be heroes,” Dolli said with a smile.

Dolli jumped up on Rufus’ back and he wrapped his arms under her legs.

Taffy stood in the doorway, arms crossed. “I’m just askin’, who’s gonna notice a duplicate hero in the town? I think I needa come too, to make sure we get all the right ingredients.”

“We have all the right ingredients here, correct?” Dolli asked, holding up her bit of parchment. She’d taken the most complex task of getting more ingredients for Taffy’s ruined potions.

Taffy’s arms tightened over his chest. “Yeah, but I want to make double sure.”

Dolli hoped down and crossed the room, then knelt beside Taffy. “I just look like a hero. I’m not going to mess up like one, too.”

Taffy tutted. “That’s what everyone says right before they mess up.”

Dolli chuckled, then rapt her knuckles on the wooden door. “Something heroes do to ward off bad ju-ju.”

“You sure are actin’ like one,” Taffy said, a little more peeved than playful.

“How do you mean?”

“Bein’ all stubborn. Why can’t you just let a man escort a lady?”

Dolli raised a brow and Taffy’s cheeks burned bright.

“Yeah, okay? I kinda wanted to go along so I could watch over ya too, but like, not as my primary reason for going,” Taffy whispered and looked away. “If we don’t get the right ingredients, me and the boys are gonna transform into horrible, unstoppable beasts… and then what would you think of me?” he asked, shrugging.

“I’d think the hero magic did something terrible to you and would want to do everything in my power to stop it from ever happening again.” She rested her hand on his shoulder. “Your Distillery needs to be ready to start a brew the moment we get back, and your Posse needs you, you’re their leader.”

Taffy looked at her, eyes sullen. “No, you’re their leader. I’m just the loudmouth jackass draggin’ em from one mess to the next.”

He sighed. “If we don’t get what we need tonight, or if this batch fails, we’ll have to leave. I won’t let us rip our friends apart.”

Dolli scowled. “You’ll abandon us. We have backup plans—”

“The cages, yeah? Those won’t hold us for more than two hours and you need to survive twelve days, Doll.”

“Then we’ll reinforce them, enchant them, do what we have to. We’re family, so we’ll figure it out together.”

Taffy smirked. “You that desperate to keep me around?”

Dolli rolled her eyes. “We’re wasting precious minutes as these fleshy beings.”

She stood and jumped up onto Rufus’ back again.

Taffy held the door open. “Be safe, Overlord. And don’t mess up.”

“Up you go,” Brene said to Greg and gestured for him to jump on her back.

Greg pushed past her and broke into a run. “I said I could keep up!”

Rufus dropped onto all fours and galloped like he could in his Stagarth form. It felt awkward, but faster than Dolli could ever go. They had to take the potions at Monster Haven to make sure they didn’t need tweaking but that meant they’d automatically lose 10 minutes of time to shop in just the distance they had to travel at a Stagarth’s fastest speed.

They tore through the alley’s to the entrance to Turtle_TK’s throat. They galloped down the dark tunnel and Turtle_TK lowered his head to the ground, opening to the forest floor. Dolli looked back over her shoulder as the entered the thick of the trees.

Turtle_TK had been able to grow some shrubbery on his legs and sides that mimicked the look of the forest, now it was just his crystal dome. Hopefully heroes seeing that on the horizon would just think it’s a heat mirage… hopefully.

Morning light sparkled through the coniferous needles and shone down on the frost-blanketed dirt. It was magical. Dolli had forgotten how beautiful the world outside her home truly was. Dolli had forgotten how much she missed her cottage at the edge of the forest.

They reached the edge of the village in just under ten minutes.

Greg was gasping for air on the ground. “Told’ya, I could do it.”

Dolli jumped off Rufus’ back and adjusted her robes. It was almost strange having a body again constrained by thinks like skin and clothes. She’d learned to appreciate the freedom her wisp body brought her.

There was no time to fidget. Dolli left the awkwardly tight-around-the-neck robes alone and turned to the others. “Split up and enter from different gates. We don’t want to look like we’re together. When you’ve finished your shopping, meet at the largest inn. If any one of us runs into trouble, message straight away and we’ll all come get you. We must do our best not to reveal ourselves, though. We can’t pick up a tail when we leave here and risk Taffy’s brew.”

Everyone nodded, then headed off in different directions—save for Greg, who needed another moment to catch his breath. Dolli found a well-worn trail into the village and came to what looked like the main gate. It was well guarded, the doors at least twelve feet tall.

“What’s yer business!” The guard in the gate box asked through a small slot at eye-height.

“Just some shopping, ya know. Mama needs a new pair of shoes,” Dolli said, taking some of Katrina’s speech.

The guard grumbled something that sounded like, “Idiot,” and then pulled the leaver for the gate. The doors opened and beyond them was a bustling village not unlike Little Crossroads before it became the trade super-highway.

“Thanks, bruh,” Dolli said and pointed to the guard. She wasn’t sure if she got the gesture right, but the civilian didn’t seem to notice. She passed the guard shack through the doors into the bustling three-story city.

The smell of fresh bread was dimmed in her senses since Turtle_TK was connected to the Lifestream, but it was pleasant all the same. She’d never really enjoyed the rabble of morning trade and had avoided Little Crossroads at peak times for that reason, but something about this was nice; nostalgic.

The outer edges of town were mainly trade shops; places travelers could drop off the items they’d collected on their journey, or for neighboring villages to deposit produce if they don’t want to run a stand themselves. People haggled and errand boys made their morning rounds. It was a perfectly normal morning.

Dolli followed the signs through the cobblestone streets to the apothecary first. She was hopeful she could find most of the necessary ingredients there, somewhere more in her element, before taking to the central shops.

The building was a squat, single story made from red brick and black wood. The windows were stained a dark tan to protect the ingredients inside from light damage. This was a good shop.

Dolli opened the door and it jingled, then shrieked once like a cat. Dolli jumped at the sound, ducking her head as she came in.

“Be there in a moment!” came a voice from far in the back of the shop.

The inside was polished wood floors, dustless shelves stacked high with ceramic jars, and a short counter at the far end of the shop. The door behind the counter flung open and a short woman with rosy cheeks and a thick orange braid cascading over one shoulder greeted her with a wand pointed at her face.

Dolli put up her hands defensively.

The woman gasped and lowered her wand with a chuckle. “My mistake child! I thought you were comin’ to collect.” She bustled up to the counter and straightened. “Welcome traveler! What’re you seeking?”

Stress knotted up in Dolli’s shoulders. She moved slowly as she pulled the parchment from her pocket as not to let her hand tremble.

“A few things,” Dolli said, crossing the room to the counter. It was weird being taller than someone other than Taffy.

“Well,” the woman looked at the parchment in her hand.

“Oh, yes.” Dolli set the list down in a flurry and stepped away from the counter.

The woman hummed and pointed to Malted Barley. “‘at there you can get at the Horse’s Trough. Ol’ Rick is always brewin’ up sumpin, an’ll surely ‘aveit on hand. Looks as’oh everythin’ else I’ve got ‘ere.”

She grabbed a large brown sack from under the counter and a few smaller ones. With systematic efficiency she moved around the room with her little scale, measuring out the ingredients perfectly on the first try.

She returned to the counter with the filled sack and held it out to Dolli. “Tree ‘undred.”

Dolli choked. “Three-hundred? Gold?”

The woman laughed. “You ‘eard right. I figured I could charga little extra, on accounta you bein a monster an’all. Won’t tell no one when ya leave, ‘least for a few hours,” the woman said with a bright smile.

Dolli opened her mouth but nothing came out when she tried to ask.

“How’d I figure ya out? Little door charm there,” she said, pointing to the entryway.

“But then, why are you selling to me? Why no kill me?” Dolli asked, confused.

The woman laughed again. “Gold’s gold, my dear, and we’re runnin’ low on ‘at ‘round ‘ere.” She held out the sack again, and opened her other hand for money.

Dolli nodded and reached into her inventory. “Any more alarms around town I need to worry about?” She set three thick stacks of ten, ten gold coins down.

The woman swiped the coins up with a flourish of her hand—and a bit of sparkling magic—then disappeared into who knew where. Dolli was certain that only heroes and monsters had inventories… so this woman couldn’t have stored like that.[JH1]

The clerk grinned wider then tapped a gaudy purple ring on her finger. “Clever litt’le thing, ain’t it? Been scribin’ runes since I was a young girl, made up a few of my own based on hero magic.”

“Amazing,” Dolli said with a gasp.

A notification blinked in the corner of her vision and she opened the Officer’s Chat.

Rufus: Done. Moving to the Horse’s Trough, bar and inn, center of town.

Dolli: Meet you there soon. I need Malted Barley and I hear the owner might have some. Could you start talking him up, inn owner to inn owner Rufus?

Rufus: Will do my best.

“Well I have to—

“Get goin’ now? ‘Course. Hey, you aren’t that little village down the way that got transformed, are ya? Seem to recall the name Dollitrice few years back about a plague.”

Dolli shrugged. “I’m just a wanderer. Thank you for the sale, and your silence.”

The woman chortled as Dolli walked away. “Neyer said I’d be silent, but I’ll give ya an hour. You got a number’a guilds lookin for ya, some pay’in quite well.”

Dolli turned back and set an additional hundred on the counter. “How about four hours.”

The woman cackled. “You betcha!”

Dolli speed walked through town, following the signage to the market. The countdown in the corner of her vision dropped to 29:59 and the knots in her shoulders tightened. She didn’t realize how long she’d been talking to that rune scribe.

The Horse’s Trough was not unlike Rufus’ inn, The X, at least from the outside. Once inside, Dolli was accosted by a new scent; powerful malted fume billowed up from machines on the right end of the first floor. Most of the fumes escaped through the open window, but enough of it lingered inside the in, giving it a hot, damp feel to the air. There were green plants growing all around the room, snaking up around doors and windows. Little green pods grew off the vines, and buckets of them sat around the sparsely populated tables.

There was a group of heroes in the corner making stupid hero faces and talking much too loudly. Dolli found Rufus at the bar, chatting with a grizzled looking man with a big belly. He cleaned a cup while they avidly discussed brewing procedures.

“How’s it going? Can I have ah, something?” Dolli asked the bar tender.

Rufus scooted up next to Dolli. “You can drop the act, he knows.”

Dolli scowled at Rufus and whispered, “How?”

“My friend Tris at the apothecary let me know,” the barkeep said, setting a mug of fresh beer down for Dolli. “I’m Bruno. It just so happens I’ve got enough of what you need, an’ I’m willin’ to part with it for a few hundred coin.”

Dolli picked up the beer and took a few good gulps. It wasn’t bitter as she was expecting, but that could’ve been her numbed senses. She set the mug down and dropped thirty of the thick, ten gold coins down on the counter.

But Bruno wasn’t looking at the coin, he was looking to the heroes at the back of the room. Dolli had tuned them out, but it appeared they were trying to leave without paying the barmaid.

“’Scuse me one moment,” Bruno said and stepped around the bar with a thick, paddle like bat in his hands.

“Y’all think you can come in ‘ere and take what you want?” Bruno pointed the bat at the tallest hero.

The hero looked at Bruno, a superior grin on his face. “What are you gonna do about it? You can’t touch me, NPC. Not unless I touch you first, of course,” The hero pulled on his sword and fiery embers released from the sheath. “I only think it’d take one hit.”

The hair on Dolli’s transmogrified arms stood on end and fire burbled in her stomach. The lead hero sheathed his sword and walked toward Bruno. The barkeeper stood his ground.

“What is your malfunction?” The hero screamed in his face. “Wanna die?”

Bruno flushed with anger, his grip tightening on the bat. The barkeeper took a deep breath, then stepped aside and watched the heroes go.

Rufus put a hand on Dolli’s clenched fist. “Not our fight,” he whispered.

But wasn’t it?

Wasn’t that what Dolli was trying to do with Sherkahn’s Shillelagh; end the heroes reign of control over Hafheim?

“No, Rufus. This is definitely our fight.”

[JH1]Fact check please