Martial Arts Encyclopedia - Chapter 16

Paradigm Shift (5)

“You got another Jack Bird.” My advisor asks flatly from his seat.

“I got another Jack Bird,” I answer him just as flatly.

We stare at each other for a few minutes before he sighs in annoyance. “Go hit the showers, you stink. I will have your payment processed.”

Taking his dismissal I go to the showers provided by the Guild and I can’t help but marvel at the magical engineering offered. The showers are no different from a modern world’s shower, with both hot and cold water selectors. Inside the changing room, there is a washing machine and powdered soap that work by using magic stones. I place an order for the machine and the automatic mechanism creates an invoice for me to pay later, or if I have a contract with the Guild they will discount the value from the magic stones transaction as a fee.

Taking out my clothes and putting my dirty clothes to wash I walk towards the showers and take a look at those inside. The adventurers all look tough and tired, and I bet most of them are level ones or two coming back from the night shift. There’s even a large Furo, but it costs extra to use. If I remember right the Danmachi setting was an allegory for the Japanese work culture, though it can have multiple interpretations. 

Some of the adventurers look back at the new arrival, but then quickly lose interest. I don’t linger on the place, doing my business and cleaning myself before taking my cleaned and dried clothes. Looking at the invoice I grimace at the “singles” price.

Once I get my payment processed my advisor practically kicks me out of the Guild building, and I’m back in the streets of Orario like the first day I arrived in this city, except I now have more money to spend and I feel like a local. I walk through the streets and find a familiar place selling the famous Jyagamaru-kun, and I stop in line to buy one of the delicious pastries. It takes a while for the line to move, but eventually, the vendor makes me a bag full of potato snacks.

“And that’s the last one for now.” The vendor says while turning off the magitech fryer, “I need to get more ingredients. I will be back in an hour.” As he leaves I hear him muttering about wanting a new employee to help his store, and I almost call back to him to ask if he wants help to develop his business. I was studying to get a degree and I want to use that knowledge damn it!

When I turn I see a small girl barely reaching my belly, though I have to remember I got taller this past month, and she gives longing glances at my bag of Jyagamaru-kun. She has medium-length blond hair tied into a ponytail and green eyes, giving her a passing resemblance to Artoria. Her blue dress, detached blue sleeves, and cyan cape give her an adorable quality combined with her pleading expression.

“Here,” I give the bag after keeping one for myself, “you want this more than I do.”

She looks back and forth between me and the bag in her hands. “Ah. The money…”

“Don’t worry,” I answer her, “I bought this on impulse, I’m not hungry yet. Anyway, see you around, kid.”

I wave at her before continuing on my way. I still have to buy new clothes for myself, not only for the date but an entire wardrobe. Thankfully, I don’t plan on growing taller again.

…

The tailor was well recommended but was also expensive, though thinking carefully nobody other than gods and high-level adventurers have the money to spend on those things. After him was the more reasonable clothes shop, and I managed to find several clothes for my size. I also need to visit Crozo in the future for armor fitting, and maybe a different type of armor that still suits my fighting style. Maybe switch to Mail and Gambeson? I will ask Artoria’s opinion too.

Speaking of her, I look between my card and the shop in front of me. “Mt. Orthys Cafe. I did give my snacks to that girl earlier, and I wonder what kind of place she works at.”

Once I step inside, I am greeted by several goddesses wearing maid outfits, each of them giving me a curtsy.

“Welcome, Master!”

It takes all my training not to choke at the sight. As a rule, every goddess is beautiful in a way that pictures in a book or anime can’t compare. I still believe that my goddesses have them beat, but at this level, it is a matter of personal preference rather than objective assessment.

“Table for one, please.” A blond goddess with twin tails leads me to an empty table. Most of the store is full, and I can tell that most of the clients are male gods, too. 

“Here you go, this is the menu. If you have any orders, you can ring the bell. I will come to pick up your order right away, or if you have a maid in mind, I can bring her with your order~”

This is too good to pass up. “Is Artoria still around?”

“Oh, her? She sure is~ you have some interesting tastes Master~ I will make sure to bring her~”

I order an omurice and orange juice and wait for the meal to arrive. Why does an anachronistic society like Orario have omurice? Why not? Soon my order arrives, being carried by my goddes in a stunning maid outfit.

She has a quiet aura compared with the rest of the goddesses, maintaining a regal posture despite wearing a maid uniform. She gives the impression of being a head maid, despite being the youngster among the other employees.

“Here is your order, Master.” She says with a stiff tone. I can tell that she’s trying to hide her embarrassment.

“You look beautiful, Artoria. The uniform suits you.” I say sincerely. To be fair, she’s the kind of woman who makes everything look good on her. From the corners of my eyes, I see the rest of the cafe waiting in bathed breath for what happens next.

“Thank you… Master. Please enjoy your meal.” She gives me a curtsy while blushing then powerwalks away from my table. When that happens the entire store falls silent then a maelstrom of murmurs and rumors start to circulate. I decide to ignore all of that and eat my meal instead. When I take my first bite, a sense of contentment fills both my heart and stomach. I can almost feel the special effects floating around me, the egg images displayed on the screen, the detailed close-up of a grain of rice, the complex process of making the demiglace and the filling, and the delicate tomato sauce giving acidity to cut the rishness of the food.

“Enjoying your meal?” I turn to the voice and see another goddess. “I’m Rhea, the owner of this cafe. Do you know little Ria from somewhere?”

Like all other goddesses, Rhea is beautiful. She has long purple hair tied in a braid reaching her back, a kind smile, and a curvy figure that’s apparent despite wearing a long shirt and a sweater. She gives the perfect matrony aura, to avoid more vulgar language.

And Ria? I have to use that later. “The meal is delicious, thank you. Compliments to the chef. And I’m the captain of her Familia, I joined her recently.”

“Ara, Ara, so it’s like that, huh?” She said it, she said the thing! “Oh my, did I say something that made you happy?” I nod in response, not trusting my voice. “I guess this old woman still has some charm left, huh?”

She’s way too good at this. “I came here to check on her. I spent the last month suspended from the Dungeon, so she was sustaining the household alone. I wanted to know what kind of place she worked. I’m glad it’s a nice place like here.”

“Fu fu fu, thank you. Do you like the uniforms?” I slowly nod. “We occasionally sell them to our customers,” she bends down slightly to whisper in my ear, “and some ‘special’ uniforms too, if you’re interested.”

I turned to look at her in the eyes, and she was kindly smiling at me.

“Check please.” She almost looks disappointed in me, “and bill me one pair of uniforms. Each.”

“Ata boy! Thank you for your patronage!”

As I left the cafe, the maids came to send me off, and once again Artoria was there.

“We will see each other later, alright?” I ask her.

“Yes, Master. Until then.” More murmurs and rumors exploded, and I left for my next stop of the day.

After a few minutes of walking, I reach the workshop of my blacksmith. “Hey Croxzo, how are you doing? Making money?”

He looks back at me, trying to match my image with my voice. “Andrew? Is that you? What the hell happened? You look different.”

“I trained and got stronger,” I answer him with a flex of my well-defined muscles, a rare sight for most human adventurers who look as young as I do. The majority of adventures have a slender physique due to their strength being boosted by the Falna, making muscle growth slower than an unblessed mortal.

I make a few more poses like a true Jojo fan only stopping when Crozzo gets annoyed. “Anyway, since I had to buy a new wardrobe I thought about updating my measurements for new armor.”

“Sure, I will take my tape measure. You should have brought your old armor too, so I could make readjustments. It’s cheaper than buying new armor since I have a contract with you.”

“Ah, I discarded it. It was unusable after it got two extra holes.”

He comes back annoyed at me, as if I’m a wasteful idiot. “If you’re going to use my items like cheap Guild junk then you can get out. What kind of idiot throws away an armor just because of two holes?”

“Oh, didn’t you here? I became a donut, so the armor was ruined.”

“... a fucking what?”

I explain to him about my various encounters that day, culminating in the mysterious adventurer turning my insides into outsides. “At least your armor held well against the common enemies, I would be a lot more scratched and bitten if it weren’t for the armor. I give it a five-star rating.”

He looks at me like I am a madman before recomposing himself. “At least the armor served its purpose,” he mutters and I give him a thumbs up. “What are you looking for now, then?”

“I’m not sure. I’m thinking mail and Gambeson, but I want a second opinion from my goddess too.”

“Mail and Gambeson is a classic for soldiers, but not popular with adventurers since plate became common.” Crozzo sighs sadly as he likely remembers his early life. “If you want that kind of upgrade I suggest you buy a plate too.”

“I will skip it for now,” I tell him, “for some reason people think ‘plate’ means ‘roof tile’ with how thick those things are, and how unwieldy they look.”

Crozzo grimaces. “Now that’s just nasty. If I were to show Lady Hephaestus a piece of armor like that she would have my hide tanned. I heard her lashing out at a smith saying ‘She won’t suffer lazy scammers as her children.’ That guy is still doing ten thousand hammer swings every day and works as a goofer in the larger forges.”

“At least someone knows how armors work. The way things are someone will try to sell a piece of breastplate that doesn’t cover the vitals in the belly or has a large chunk missing exposing the heart.”

Crozzo looks around nervously. “Haha, that’s just crazy. Who would design impractical armor like that?”

“I know, right? Anyway, I can’t stay here for long. I have a date later to prepare myself.”

“‘Go explode normie!’” He says as if quoting someone, “Sorry, it’s just old ingrained reflexes. Anyway, good for you. Enjoy your youth while some of us slave away to become worthy of attention.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Don’t worry, one day you will get the attention of a cute red-haired goddess that looks great in leather pants.”

His reaction was priceless. Worth the asshole tax for a new set of thrown knives and a new sword.

Next stop home, then prepare myself for the long-awaited date!