Wingman to Wingwoman [Man to Thai Woman]

Tier Reward for fizzleus

Every guy has a ‘Jake’ friend. The friend so desperate to have a girlfriend that he’ll do just about anything, even make a potion to turn another guy into his dream girl. I really should have known better than to hit the bar with him.

~

Sometimes, I wondered about ‘the bro code’ and how it got programmed into every man seemingly at birth. It was like a set of unwritten rules on what made you a good friend, break one, and you were an asshole for life. And as an adult, when making friends was hard enough, I, like most people, couldn't afford to be labeled an asshole and lose the few friends I had. Which is why I found myself in a bar on a Tuesday evening, playing wingman to my friend Jake. 

Every guy has a ‘Jake’ friend. That guy you knew from work, or a club who just sort of attached himself to you a few years ago and now you hang out with him out of pure inertia. He wasn't a bad guy; he was…fine. A little irritating, but never enough to fully cut him out of my life. 

Honestly, most of what made him annoying was the fact he was single and pissed off about it. Unlike me, Jake was sure he was supposed to be with somebody by now. I’d given up dating; too much effort. Not Jake though, Jake was always at bars, clubs or anywhere he thought he could put the moves on the ladies. And being wingman was apparently part of the bro code. 

So here I was.

Nursing a cheap beer and doing my best not to feel sorry for the third woman I sent his way. 

“What was that?” Jake complained, joining me at the bar after yet another strikeout. “She didn’t even come over.”

“Maybe you weren’t her type.”

“I’m tall, dark and go to the gym three times a week! How could I not be her type?”

I wanted to say ‘maybe because you spend all that gym time flirting with women on the treadmill, but I bit my tongue.

“It's you. You need more confidence, you’re sending them over to me half limp already.” He complained, “You need to really sell me!”

“I’m trying. Maybe you should…”

“Should what?”

“Stop trying so hard, and stop sending away every woman that doesn’t meet your weird standards?”

“I like what I like.” Jake scoffed, “I am not about to waste precious time on this Earth with a practice girl. This would be so much easier in Asia, everybody knows Asian girls love white guys…”

…Why was I friends with this guy again?

“Here, let me get your next beer.”

Oh yeah, that. 

The door opened, and loud voices echoed through the bar. A group of guys I recognised from work walked in, half drunk already, with big grins on their faces. 

“Steve!” I waved, “Michael, hey!”

“Hey guys!” Steve threw his arms around both Jake and I. “Fancy seein’ you lot here, wanna come play pool?”

“We’re busy.” Jake said icily, lifting the other man’s arm off his shoulder, “have fun!”

“Aw, c’mon.”

“We’re busy.”

“Well, let me get you a drink anyway,” he beamed, “Hey, bartender, a tray for the whole group!”

The bartender nodded and started filling up a tray with pints. 

“I’ll bring them over to you in a minute.” He smiled and Steve nodded, giving us a wave before heading back to his group. I gave him an apologetic smile and waved him off, secretly wishing I could be playing pool instead of unsuccessfully chatting up women for somebody else. 

“What an ass,” Jake muttered under his breath.

“Who, Steve?”

“Yeah, all friendly and chatty all the time, I don’t get his angle.”

“I think he’s just a nice guy.”

“Nah, nobody is nice for no reason, he’s got an angle…”

“If you say so. I’m going to the bathroom, watch my drink.”

I sighed deeply and took my time, glancing at my watch and taking in the time. It was a work night, I could probably swing going home at nine. I stared at myself in the mirror.

“When did you get so dead inside, man?” I sighed. 

I knew, deep down, that I should kick Jake to the curb, but the truth was it was too much effort. Most things were too much effort these days. I wandered back to the bar to find it empty, Jake was lurking in the corner pretending to play darts alone, clearly waiting for an opportunity to present itself. 

I grabbed my drink and took a sip, and my brow furrowed; this wasn't what I ordered.

It tasted like beer, mostly, but with something else beneath it—cinnamon, maybe, or caramel. Some spicy, sweet warmth that clung to the back of my throat. I took another sip. It was good. Weird, but good. Then, right as I put the glass down, it hit.

A heat bloomed in my chest, sudden and sharp. It's not painful, more like being dunked in hot water. My spine straightened on instinct. My skin tingled like static crawling over it. I should have been scared but instead I felt mild irritation: should have known Jake couldn’t be trusted to watch my drink. But even as that crossed my mind, I felt something shift under my shirt. The fabric there seemed to tighten, and I felt the buttons starting to press into my skin.

Then my hands. My fingers stretched, growing more slender, more… elegant. I stared at them as they moved, familiar and foreign all at once. The bones realigned themselves with a gentle crackle, and the calluses from years of picking smoothed over. 

I stood up too fast, and that’s when I really felt it; my center of gravity was off, everything was lighter, but my chest and ass… definitely heavier. My jeans hugged differently. My shirt clung in places it hadn’t before. I reached up and touched my face. Cheekbones higher. Chin narrower. What the hell was going on? 

My hair brushed my neck and shoulders. That had definitely been shorter five minutes ago. I turned toward the long mirror behind the bar and froze. It wasn't just my imagination, I could see my face changing in real time. I glanced nervously at the bartender who was serving a patron at the other end of the room, then fled out the side door into the alley. 

With each step, I could feel my body shifting further: my thighs thickening, my hips widening to take on a natural sway. By the time the door slammed closed behind me my shoes were falling off; now too big and bulky for my dainty feet. 

“Calm down, calm down…” I said to myself, the wrong move, because my voice was changing too.

Not only was it softer, but there was a hint of accent then, a hint that became thicker with every word I muttered to myself. Then came the words, my tongue twisted itself, forming words in a language I hadn't known a moment ago. The words flowed into my mind, swirling like storm water and settling over my mind. 

“Thai?”

I could speak Thai. Somehow, that was more impressive to me than the growing heaviness in my ass. If I focused, I could still speak English, but the words came out with a thick accent that was honestly slightly endearing. It was so distracting that I almost missed the sudden suction between my legs. The feeling was tight and I bent double, mouth agape as I felt my cock sliding back up into my body, leaving a warm wet hole in its wake. 

“Okay, that was…strange.” 

I hesitated for a moment trying to think of the word in English. I pulled out my phone and turned on the selfie camera to look at myself; a gorgeous Asian woman stared back at me with wide eyes blinking in confusion. 

She had cheekbones like they’d been carved to catch light. Lips a little fuller, nose a little smaller. Pretty, even. With dark hair that reflected the fluorescent street lights, and olive skin. And she, I, looked startled but… not horrified.

I took a breath, let it out.

Then, out loud, “Huh.”

No screaming. No collapsing into an existential spiral. Just… huh. I waited for my sense of masculinity to spiral and panic to set in, but it just didn’t. What little worry I’d had during the transformation faded quickly, and I was left in the alley with my new face and body feeling oddly okay with it. My clothes felt a little strange, too tight in places, too loose in others. 

My new breasts were unsupported and hung pertly against my chest; big enough that the nipples pressed into the fabric and could be clearly seen, but not so big that my back hurt without a bra. I twisted on the spot, admiring my new hips and ass with curiosity. 

“It could be worse, I suppose…”

It felt odd walking back into the bar, but what else was I going to do? Plus, I was curious, would anybody notice?I looked around. Nobody seemed to care. The group of guys from work were still playing pool, the bartender gave me a nod of acknowledgement, but that was it. Maybe whatever weird magic this was came with blind spots. 

“Well, hey there.” 

Oh no.

Jake was suddenly at my side, grinning with a glint in his eyes that could only be described as evil. No wonder women never went out with him; with that expression on his face, he looked like he was more likely to murder me than do anything pleasant. 

“Feeling a little funny, Steve?” He asked with a chuckle before taking my hand and patting it. “Don’t worry, I am here to make it all better.”

“Steve?”

“Yes, I know who you are. I’m probably the only one who does now. That little spell of mine will be settling into everybody’s mind by now.”

“No, I mean, why do you think I’m Steve?”

God, it was hard speaking English now that it suddenly wasn’t my first language. Jake blinked and cocked his head in confusion, that smug smile finally dropping away.

“Wait, you’re not Steve?”

“No, he’s there.”

I pointed a now perfectly manicured red nail towards the bathroom where Steve was emerging, red in the face from drinking and looking one beer away from passing out entirely. Jake looked back at me in shock.

“If he didn’t…who are you!?”

“I’m Sam!” I hissed, “Will you explain, please?”

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look pissed off but all I managed to do was wince. I wasn't used to having breasts. 

Jake let out a nervous laugh and scratched at the back of his head. 

“See, I was getting sick of waiting for my dream girl to arrive so I thought…why don't I make her? The potion took a lot of trial and error…”

“You made a potion…to turn Steve into your dream girl?”

“Yes! He deserved it! And don't worry, I thought about his job and stuff, reality bends to accommodate.”

“So as far as anybody else in the world knows, I have always been a Thai lady?”

“Yeah! So it’s not really a big deal, right?”

He smiled nervously, arms outstretched and I raised an eyebrow.

“You should get out of sales, man, you’re not very convincing.”

I stalked past him to the bar; he owed me another drink for this at the very least. Thinking that made me realise he’d never actually bought me the last one he’d promised. I sat up on the barstool, wiggling slightly, trying to get used to the extra padding on my rump. The bartender was in front of me a second later, smiling widely.

“What can I get you?”

“Uh…”

I’d never been served so fast before; I hadn't had time to think, not to mention ordering a beer felt weird in this body.

“How about I pick something for you, on the house?” The bartender suggested, quickly mixing something together and sliding the glass along the bartop to me. 

“Thank you, mmmm this is…how you say….delicious!”
His eyes lit up like I’d made his whole night, and I smiled; warmth blooming in my chest. The drink was sugary and went down like syrup. I downed it all easily and licked the coating off my lips as Jake sat down next to me. 

“See? Not bad, being a woman, is it?”

“Not bad at all, I suppose…”

Another drink was placed down in front of me, and I giggled.

“You keep giving away drinks, ya boss is going to be angry.”

“This one’s not from me,” The bartender said, sounding a little hesitant to admit it. “Gentleman at the end there.”

Steve waved and gave me a wink that made my heart flutter and Jake gag. 

“Creep.”

“He’s being friendly.”

“I’m being friendly.” 

Jake placed a hand on mine gently and looked at me with more sincerity than I thought he was capable of.

“I’m sorry you drank the wrong beer, really mate, I am, but I am the only one who knows about this, so you’re going to need my help to come to terms with it all. I promise, I’ll help you, it’s the least I can do.”

“You’ve got that right.” I said thoughtfully, “But I don’t think I really need to come to terms with anything.”

“But…you’re a woman, don't you feel totally emasculated?”

“In the sense that I am no longer masculine, yeah, I guess, but…nobody knows I used to be a guy, so what’s the big deal?”

“You really don’t care?”

“I’m a millennial, I’m dead inside. As far as I am concerned, this is just another bad day with a different coat of paint. Free drinks are nice, though. Will I have to buy new clothes?”

“No…the spell should have replaced your wardrobe when you get home.” 

Jake sounded dumbfounded, then excited. 

“I think you’ll really like the selection, it should be exactly what I-uh, I mean, exactly what you will like. With this new body, I mean. See, I really did think of everything!”

“I guess you did.”

I finished my drink and hopped off my stool, feeling the subtle jiggle my new curves had. It was odd, having parts of me move on their own; odd, but not unpleasant. No wonder women liked dancing in clubs more than guys. 

“Well…shall we get out of here?” Jake said smoothly, stepping forward and wrapping an arm around my waist. His eyes were heavy-lidded, and he was smiling at me with a knowing glint in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

He blinked.

“To…my place, to you know…?”

“What? You think I’m going to have sex with you!?”

“Well…yeah.”

I disentangled myself in disgust. 

“What the hell?”

“B-but you’re my dream girl! I designed that formula to make you perfect! And don't pretend you still like girls as well, I took that into account!”

“Just because I like guys now doesn’t mean I am going to throw myself at anybody!”

“But…but…”

“Did you seriously think changing me would somehow make me irresistibly attracted to you or something? You realised how fucked up and skeevy that is, right?”

Jake just blinked; his face had fallen. He looked utterly shattered and for once, I didn't have a drop of sympathy for him. If this is how he’d been going about dating, it was no wonder he’d resorted to this sort of trickery to get a woman. Across the room, Steve and his workmates were drunkenly teeing up a new game of pool. 

“I think I’ll go thank him for the drink, it’s the polite thing to do after all.”

Jake watched me go with his jaw on the floor; even in his shock I could feel his eyes burning into my ass. 

Every woman has a ‘Jake’ friend: that guy who is only hanging out with you in the hopes that he might score one day. Take my advice, ladies, kick him to the curb sooner rather than later.