The Spider

Anonymous Patron request.

 

The Spider

“Hahahaha, I can’t believe you really shriek like such a little girl because of a cute widdle itsy bitsy spider. That’s pretty pathetic I mean look at the size of you. Normally they’re meant to be more scared of you than you are of them but after that reaction you gave I think it’s definitely the other way around. No I won’t squish it; it’s done nothing wrong you shouldn’t leave your bedroom in such a mess then maybe you wouldn’t get bugs. If you’re serious about us moving in together you really need to start taking better care of yourself and act like more of a man. If you’re going to stand against the wall until it goes away then we’ll end up being late for dinner. I guess I’ll just move it outside then shall I. 

Here little guy just climb up on my hand and…. OH SHIT ITS COMING FOR YOU. Hahahaha, you should have seen the look on your face. Relax I’ve still got it I was only pretending I wouldn’t actually throw it I might hurt the poor thing. Oh…. are those tears, you can’t be serious….. You’re that scared of spiders that they bring you to tears, unbelievable. Wait…. That spot on your jeans, did you piss yourself? It doesn’t matter that it’s only a small spot that still counts as pissing your pants. Far out, I seriously thought I was meant to be going out on a date with my boyfriend tonight not babysitting a little girl who isn’t potty trained. Change your wet pants don’t bother with undies we need to make a stop on the way, you better be ready once I’ve moved this little guy outside.” 

“There, that’s much more suitable for you don’t you think. If you pee your pants like a little girl then you get to wear little girl’s training panties. Those princesses suit you don’t you think? Hey, stop your whining I have your best interests at heart hear. Just think of all those spiders out there running around it’s only a matter of time before you run into another one. What happens then huh, you probably wet your pants it’s a matter of when not if. This way your pretty princesses will protect you from any nasty leaks that might happen when you’re scared. You should be thanking me honestly; you can pay for the next lot too I did this as a favour for you. I want you to go to that same store to get them from now on as well the lady who works there seems super nice and we had a quick chat. 

She was wondering if I was getting them for my niece or sister I told her I’m babysitting my boyfriend and he’s been having accidents. She burst out laughing and asked why I choose such girly designs and I told her how you shrieked and starting balling your eyes out at the sight of a spider. She was actually pretty understanding about it, she said that even though her kid doesn’t get scared of bugs she used to have a problem with being afraid of everything. She told me about a program they teach nearby to help young girls with getting over their fears; it’s a great confidence builder apparently. As soon as she told me about it I didn’t hesitate my willingness to sign you up for it. She said that even though you’re a special circumstance she’s close friends with the person who runs it now and will put in a good word for you. I didn’t ask what exactly it entails but once they get back for me and YOU pay the joining fees they will supply everything they need. If you want me to move on with you, you will do this. Maybe they can teach you how to clean your room that would be a start.”

“So how did you first day go sweetie, my…my don’t you look precious in your little fairy costume. I had wondered when they called me about you saying you could join, why they were asking for your measurements. I guess this explains it then very cute, pink definitely suits you. I had been hoping that you would turn out to be a bit more macho after all of this, but I guess what did I expect signing you up for a little girls confidence building class. I spoke to your teacher after your class that’s why you were waiting so long for me in here. She was surprised actually, at your eagerness to participate. She said that even some of the others don’t want to dress up at first but you didn’t hesitate when they pulled out your costume. It’s to build your inner strength fairies are powerful mystical creatures so if you act like a fairy you will feel stronger. I mean, it’s kind of a moot point for someone your age acting like a fairy to be braver but I guess little kid fears require little kid solutions.

She did mention how you failed your task though; there was never any spider problem in the bathroom. She was just doing that as a test, you were supposed to be so desperate to use it that you would ask for it anyway. Instead you just went in your pull up and leaked, let me see what they put you in please lift up your tutu. That diaper is much thicker than your training pants; at least it still has the same cutesy designs on it. I guess if these are going to do a better job at holding your accidents then this is what we’ll keep you in. Oh yes, this wasn’t a onetime class she recommends at minimum one full semester before you can graduate. That means twice a week for six more months before she decides if you’re ready. 

Don’t worry too much about it they have multiple classes on we can work around your work schedule. We might have to say something to your boss though about the diapers I’m sure I can leave a diaper bag with her and she will find someone to help change you. Come along now you big diaper girl, let’s go home and clean your room. I think we might need to decorate it in a style more suited to you don’t you think?”