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Kevin Coughlin
Kevin Coughlin

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EARLY ACCESS ~ FRIDAY THE 13TH 7 (YT EDIT)

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) is where the franchise fully yeets itself into the supernatural deep end—and thank God it does, because by this point, we’ve seen Jason stab, slash, and squish every horny teen archetype imaginable. So now? Jason goes toe-to-toe with a telekinetic girl in a lakeside psychic smackdown, and it’s kind of glorious in a “What even is this franchise anymore?” kind of way.

Our new final girl is Tina Shepard, a deeply traumatized psychic who accidentally unchains Jason from his underwater timeout while trying to resurrect her dead dad. Because of course she does. It’s horror movie grief therapy via necromancy, and it works out about as well as you’d expect. Jason pops out of the lake like a rotting gym bro with anger issues, ready to resume his machete-based vengeance.

This entry marks the first appearance of Kane Hodder as Jason, and he absolutely owns it. His Jason is bulky, rage-fueled, and radiates “I hate everything” energy with every stomp. Plus, this is the best Jason design—chunky, rotted, chain around the neck, visible spine, busted mask. He looks like death itself wandered out of the lake because it got bored.

The kills should have been legendary—sleeping bag tree slam, weed whacker to the gut, head crush—but thanks to the MPAA going on a censorship rampage, the gore got butchered more than Jason’s victims. You’ll feel the cuts, and not in a fun way. Still, even trimmed down, the carnage is creative, and Jason’s rage-filled performance carries it.

The teen cast is aggressively disposable, but that’s par for the course. The real villain (aside from Jason) is Tina’s creepy psychiatrist, who exists solely to gaslight her until he gets a saw blade in the guts. Nobody mourns this man. He’s pure slasher karma bait.

But let’s talk about that final showdown. Tina unleashes her psychic powers like she’s auditioning for the X-Men—collapsing decks, swinging wires, exploding TVs, fire, lightning, and a sweet, sweet telekinetic beatdown that turns Jason into a crash test dummy. It’s pure horror movie camp, and honestly, it KINDA rules.

Part VII isn’t the most coherent or gory, but it’s fun, fast, and absolutely unhinged. The Jason vs. Carrie concept works way better than it has any right to, and Kane Hodder elevates the entire film just by being an unstoppable wall of murder.

EARLY ACCESS ~ FRIDAY THE 13TH 7 (YT EDIT)

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