HEALTH UPDATE (ad-free)
Added 2025-05-14 16:56:31 +0000 UTCEditors looking for work:
Damo:
Email: damian.s.parker@gmail.com
Twitter: https://x.com/bluthedragon
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BluTheDragon
YT jobs: https://ytjobs.co/talent/profile/344912
Iki:
Email: adam.michel500@gmail.com
YTJobs: https://ytjobs.co/talent/profile/345023
Comments
Been watching your content since I was like maybe 14 years old. I deeply appreciate the work you have done and honestly you shouldn't ever put yourself down for not being able to keep pushing yourself to produce things consistently. You know yourself your best stuff happens when you are feeling good and capable. Some people will go but it's not a numbers game. You've produced so much good and incredible content. I'm not trying to glaze because I'm not going to get anything out of that, I just hope if you see this you can worry less about justifying your lack of recent production. I have found some of my favourite content through your yearly lists and have laughed so much watching your reviews. Those videos will always be there so if you ever need to take a considerable gap to focus on your health. That's not going to change how anyone views your channel and your work. Keep being you, keep recovering at your own pace. I love you like id love any human even if I don't know you personally. Much love π
Felix Curran
2025-09-12 13:31:33 +0000 UTCI'm not going to be one of these people who says "I know what you're going through." You and only you know your life experience. What I will say is that I have gone through stuff that could definitely be argued to be similar and have some insights that could be helpful. You are obviously free to disregard any/all of this. I will just try to share some of the things I think maybe would've helped me and thus maybe could help you. I'll try to be relatively brief, but mental illness is non-trivial so to write sufficient words to help can also be non-trivial. (Quick summary of me) Diagnoses are: 299.0/F84.0 Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 296.33/F33.2 Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent 300.02/F41.1 Generalized Anxiety Disorder Late 2022 I was 150lbs heavier and my life was defined by anhedonia and depression. It was a depression that built for many many years and still follows me, but I definitely have turned a corner and begun improvement. (End my summary) Mental Health Insights: (from my experience) 1. 100% the most important thing one needs to improve mental health is to have somebody that they feel they can talk to that they feel very very safe being very open/honest with. A therapist's time is too limited so it would likely need to be friends, or family, or some kind of mental health mentor person. This person hardly has to *do* anything, they just have to listen to somebody venting. From what you are saying, it sounds like you are traumatized. Depression (particularly anhedonia) can be a response to too much negative emotional stimulation, so the whole nervous system needs to shut down to cope. One with anhedonia doesn't feel joy because their body won't let them feel anything because it believes the safest response to recent stimuli is downregulating all feeling. Generally this will stay this way until all this gunk in the mind and heart is released from the person. And the first step is just saying it. Just saying all the racing thoughts and feelings and how awful they are. Vomiting up that negative emotion to somebody you trust to just sit there, listen, and care. I did not begin healing until I was able to let all of that out via talking and I felt heard. 2. Once step 1 is largely done, meaning nothing has yet been fixed, but one can feel a lot of that awful is out of their gut and has at least been heard, the next important thing is mentally opening the door to hope. For me it felt so pointless. My first few major attempts at even small bits of hope were me doing it kind of ironically. I was 100% truthfully as sure that it would fail as I am sure that gravity will continue to hold me to the ground. My depression and misery had been with me almost my whole life, they for all practical purposes to me were as certain as the physical laws of the universe itself. So honestly, the first several times I even entertained hope, I did it just so after it failed (which I was sure would happen) I could go back to my therapist and say "see, told you so." But when the misery I was SURE would happen didn't happen, my certainty of my hopelessness weakened slightly. This is basically what curing depression/healing trauma is. It's being confronted with a reality that is incompatible with the hopeless reality you are certain you currently exist in. With time, I slowly let in *some* hope. Nothing crazy. I still really struggle to believe "Things can be good again." But I do now at least believe "I definitely can be less miserable than I otherwise would have been." 3. Step 3 for me was "Do things that make me feel like I have agency." For me, because I was so fat I truly believed (and still mostly believe) that I was unlovable as a result. In my mind my unlovability is still mostly a law of the universe. But I knew if I did certain things I could gain strength and lose weight. And even if the universe itself wanted to, it couldn't make it so being 30lbs lighter was literally identical to not being 30lbs lighter. Whatever cosmic force NEEDED me to be miserable couldn't break objective reality. So by beginning to lose weight and gain muscle. I had the power to make myself less miserable than I otherwise would be. I could prove to myself that I at least had SOME agency. Once I could demonstrate even the slightest bit of agency over effecting my objective reality, and I did that over and over, it became harder to be so damn sure of the hopeless limiting beliefs that defined me and kept me confined to my life of depression/anhedonia. When one's subconscious begins to acclimate to the idea that experiencing the full force of reality is safe again, it can slowly start to let life back in. Joy, and even memories can start to come back. I'm not there yet. I still haven't had a 7/10 day in maybe a decade if not more. But this year is the first year in god knows how long where I'm starting to have regular 5-5.9/10 days, and compared to where I was it's so much better. I hope something in there might help you. Also for the record, as a brother in depression/asd if you wanted to talk further I'd be happy to be a resource in any way I can. I know that sounds like an empty platitude, and I know to you I'm just some rando, but if you've made it this far in the post, I think you might understand that I'm not like a fake stolen-valor type depression haver. I, like you, I've experienced the true true depression, and so I know how important having others as a resource can be. So, on my honor as a very literal minded autist, feel free to reach out if talking to me further might at all help you.
Mr Moxie
2025-05-22 06:29:52 +0000 UTCMost of experiences you described are familiar to me. I can relate to the whole of the story, except such severe body level states (biological, neuro-bio-chemical etc.). I imagine that it was (still is?) the magnitude of the shock you've experienced, grief and fear levels and those, when overlooked β and I've also tried everything I could think about β could as well kill you. Looking for therapist is a great Idea, considering what happened in your life (and probably/also projecting from my own stuff).
radwecki
2025-05-16 12:23:44 +0000 UTCAdam, thank you so much for sharing with us what youβve been going through - I think everything considered, this just shows how resilient you really are, although Iβm sure you didnβt feel resilient for a lot of it. Sharing what youβve been going through, whatβs helped and what hasnβt, Iβm sure will help others who experience similar to you! I recently got diagnosed with ADHD too and so totally relate to how a lot of things start to make sense. I work as a therapist and can see how youβve already made so many positive changes for yourself, I think CBT would be really helpful to learn more about your anxiety and depression, and ways to manage this. CBT can also take into account physical health problems and how these can impact on us too! Do what feels right for you with the channel, whatever is easiest and manageable, I appreciate your passion and want to please everyone, but you, your health and your wellbeing come first!
Scarlett Rose
2025-05-16 10:04:39 +0000 UTC
