SamuZai
Thakur
Thakur

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Needing your help! Chapter 2

I'm struggling with the second chapter and would love your input.  You can either read everything here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oc4E_Dtw0YqBTmtxxpv7C9mnd0mKMnDxqjt6hhpaNj8/edit?usp=sharing


where you can comment, or on the website under "The World After".


It's not done, nor is it long enough yet, so right now this chapter is my number one priority after my full-time job.

Comments

I still need to read the first chapter. The way this one ends off so far does setup for an ambush in the den. I do not know the intricacies of the races yet but with Falder's thoughts of being buried alive in the place and the unease of their discovery it sets it up to be ambush by enemies or activate a trap that initiates collapse of the pillars which causes the den to collapse. Not sure how much a sex element this series has but it would be nice to see a Dochau breed an Angau bitch at some point if their theory is correct on where some of the surviving Angau force went. Maybe the Eenhet force investigating the Kahzen's den gets beaten back to where they have to seek out the Dochau. In a tour of sorts they see Dochau breeding Angau and maybe get subjugated themselves depending on the factions relationships. Sometime I will need to read the first chapter to get a better direction on progression. My mind goes heavy on sex scenes sometimes......


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