Cultist of Cerebon - Chapter 1
Added 2023-05-14 21:13:40 +0000 UTCI wanted to get feedback from you guys on two things.
1.) I'd like some feedback on the story. I enjoy having an original story to write when I'm thinking up plots for Nerubians Journey, but I've had a lot of writer's block with Sect's Elder. This one is a Litrpg Isekai about a person who's a Cultist for a Flesh god. Lemme know what you think.
2.) How do you guys feel about me sharing google docs directly for you to read from rather than Patreon? It's a bit of a difference in formatting.
Comments
This was a great read! Very interested in seeing more of it. EDIT: Redundant word at "Zareth quickly started heading back to his home in the outer sections of the city as quickly as he could"
Thayle Lee-Logg
2023-05-19 20:56:53 +0000 UTCis this a fanific of an existing universe, or is this brand new?
Eric
2023-05-18 19:58:21 +0000 UTCThat was a nice read. I wanted to continue reading at the end of Chapter 1. Not much else to comment on based on a single chapter.
Me
2023-05-15 20:01:39 +0000 UTCI really like it, though I prefer reading on the app instead of on google docs
Dun
2023-05-15 11:59:34 +0000 UTCEnjoyed the first chapter quite a bit. Too bad he didn't point out flesh crafting and transformation literally is an aspect of life. Could have pointed out that as we live we transform our flesh through age and every moment of life has Cerebon's influence in it. May be a bit too preachy, but could be useful to have that slogan lined up for once he starts his cult and gets followers. Just a shame he spent the point before the guard came in. If he could have had the chance to put the point into Devotion Perception then he'd have had a much easier time creating a strong position for his cult. That'd probably be the only thing I'd change if given the chance. Having him not spend that point until after everything settled down and he could evaluate his new circumstances would open up far more options for him.
Darkanlan
2023-05-15 05:05:21 +0000 UTCThat chapter was really fucking good. I'm excited for the next chapter and the stories possibilities.
X Blade
2023-05-15 04:41:20 +0000 UTC
