Update 3 - Twitter

Humans are fallible, and I hate that people turn these mistakes into witch hunts. Crunchy I hope things go better for you. All the love hugs and support. ❤❤❤

Scarlet Kitten

Hello MJ, thank you for your questions. Regarding how I engage with “soft signals”(I assume, indirect ways of signaling something). If I think that I might make someone uncomfortable, I ask explicitly. I do that with all of my friends, also Mint. With her I asked “Hey, was it okay that I called you “great”? - for example. I already explained that I had no idea that the two posts, one of my hair and one of my suit, would make her uncomfortable. Regardless, I don’t make friends with listeners anymore, so this sort of power-imbalance and misunderstanding is not going to happen again. I have also since become even more explicit with my few online friends to minimize misunderstandings. In my offline life, things are different. I am not treated as “scandinavian/white” in Denmark. I am called “exotic” or “one of the good immigrants” (both racist terms) by native danes. My friends are of varying degrees of mixed scandinavian, asian, african, and middle eastern descent. In Denmark, Islamophobia is a major problem (for various reasons, radical islamic terrorism and war in the middle east being major factors, but of course it’s more complicated than that.) In high school and at uni, I have had to educate others on why certain Danish slurs directed at immigrants are racist and not okay to use. Same goes for the families of some of my ex-partners, trying to educate them on why their opinions on muslims are misguided and racist. I’m not an activist, mind you. I haven’t really been to protests before. I never personally posted things on facebook or instagram, my influence has mostly been offline. But anti-racism is a part of me and my history. Learning to be anti-racist on american race relations online is a recent thing for me, and I’m still navigating that. Some people on twitter call me a straight white male VA. You might know that I don’t know if I’m male. And I’m definitely not straight. Do I have the same privilege as a white American if I lived in America? Yes, most likely. The same goes for making Online content. White privilige in sex work is very real, and I’ve learned about how I have that privilige over the last few years.

Tried posting a few times here but either Patreon or some other force isn’t allowing my comments to go through. I think what I’d like to hear is specifically what you’re doing to be actively anti-racist offline/out of the public eye. Can you speak to that? I’m largely removed from the GWA/VA, Reddit and Twitter community these days, but as one of your first ~20 patrons this will impact how/if I continue to support here. I do feel as though your explanations of what happened occurred between you and Mint seemed pretty innocuous at first listen. Curiosity got the better of me and I went down the rabbit hole to see what their take was. After thinking it over a bit, it seemed pretty clear to me that they weren’t interested in engaging with you in certain ways... I.e sending Twitter “thirst traps” or whatever for approval. I’m also curious about what you’re doing to engage with/understand how women/femmes (especially WOC) have a tendency to “soft signal” particularly in conversations with white men.