[Ramble] Ramble about rambles, and other sporadic fun thoughts

Hi Kaya, I totally get the impulse - we're all here because we love Crunchy's content. But as a fellow listener I'd rather call you by your name (or alias) instead. I can only speak for myself - but it would be a lot easier to chat with you as Kaya.

Skye

Ok, had to come back as I am currently about halfway thru Crunchy's Spoken ASMR Twitch and I having lots of trouble breathing in the best way. The amount of giggling and blushing happening to me right now is absolutely unbelievable. Also I need opinions please (no stealing my idea 🤣) - would it be incredibly presumptuous of me to use "CrunchysBean" as a username

myuniverse032518

Invisible Skye - awww I feel so warm cheructastic - I've yet to experience a true Crunchy live stream as he hasn't done one since i found his audios but I think I'll have to watch/listen to some of his past ones to get an idea 🥰. Twitch is a new platform to me.

myuniverse032518

Group hug!! 🥰

Think we’re all going through withdrawals a little bit missing the streams haha. 100% agree with what you said. Everyone is so lovely here I’m glad I get to be in the same spaces at the same time as all of you 💗

cherucaustic

*redeems praise chat - er - comment section* To every single one of you - you make the world a better place. Thank you for being you. Yeah... I'd say we bond with people we don't know fairly well around here. ;) 💜

Skye

Universe pls let Crunchy talk about this I need it 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

cherucaustic

Ohh, here's one. I would bet money you've given this some thought. Do you think time travel is or will be scientifically possible?

since I can pay attention & kinda retain what you say, pls teach us how to play chess ;-;

Truer words never said, Dubose 😂

cherucaustic

Started my first listen on my drive to the store but I’m gonna kind of live comment my thoughts during a second listen where I can focus cause I think I zoned out on the second half lmao. Real quick gonna say I love how your ramble turned into all of us rambling in the comments like we’re kinda in a feedback loop 🤣. Sounds like the weather in Denmark is similar to how it is in my corner of the world. Yesterday was so insanely cold and windy with snow (though none stuck on the ground) and this morning wasn’t much better. I generally hate spring but my god I can’t wait for spring I’m sick of being so cold haha. Might be controversial to say but I’m not a big coffee drinker, when I was younger I hated how it tasted (still kind of do mine has to be loaded with sugar and flavoring) but also caffeine gives me migraines! I can’t have any of any kind even green tea has too much it sucks. But I do indulge sometimes because ever since cold brew became a thing I’m obsessed with it. That’s so ridiculous about your barista! As long as they do a good job and the other people are fluent in both languages that makes no sense to me people are awful. I was basically raised by the internet so I’ve always found people in spaces to talk to even if we didn’t become full blown friends but I’m much more the type to foster those interactions into lasting friendships one of my best friends I met on a writing website 15 years ago and it took us 10 years to meet in real life cause they lived across the country from me. But as I’ve gotten older it seems like it’s gotten harder to do like I’m always worried what someone might think of me. It’s why I don’t have a big social media presence or have difficulty commenting here even though I want to form those bonds. I think all really talkative kids unfortunately have that experience where someone tells them they’re saying too much, monopolizing the conversation, they should be quiet. I know it happened to me. I’m an extremely fast talker and once I’m comfortable with people I never shut up but I do catch myself a lot overthinking if I should just stop because I’m annoying someone or being rude or whatever because of how I was bullied as a kid when I got excited about something and wanted to be included. You definitely won though Crunchy cause at least all of us here never want you to shut up lol. This was such an enjoyable ramble you sound so much better and I’m so happy you can notice your improvements and continue to work on it. It was nice to just hear you talk about so many different things kind of like how a conversation would go with a friend even though you don’t get to hear our reply in real time you’ll read it later instead. Wishing you and everyone in the comments a relaxing Sunday 💗

cherucaustic

We Americans are a bad influence. 😉

I thought I was the only one who noticed Crunch starting to sound different. I listened to an audio from last year, and one from years before and I straight up thought I was listening to a different person lol.

cherucaustic

@Mrs. Dubose- i agree! i'm so grateful for this community of kind and friendly people which makes it that much easier to push through the anxiety and share our thoughts. It’s beautiful that we can help each other feel seen and understood here 🤍 @CarelessWhisper- I’m so glad that it resonated with you 🤍 that video was such an eye opener for me and was a good reminder that our anxieties are often irrational. That doesn’t make the experience any less real, but I think having that as a reminder can really help @Kaya- i understand completely, it can be really hard to see ourselves the way other people see us. yeah, brains are wonderful, complex, confusing, sometimes terrible, all of it 😅

cosmicdreams

Trying to form some sort of thoughts takes a lot from me, talking or commenting has been really difficult lately, but. But. I’m here and I have something on my mind. Hopefully it will make some sense. Bonding with people – probably people in this community. Yeah. Have never thought I would meet so many precious, kind people on the Internet 💜 It’s sunny here too – I love sunny days and am waiting for spring to finally come to us, ‘cause yes it’s sunny but it’s still -4°C and snow is everywhere. Listening to a cosy ramble on a sunny morning with a mug of coffee and then listening to it once again several hours later to form some coherent comment with another mug of coffee feels nice. Life feels better when the weather is nice. Languages – my pain. Most of the media I consume is in English, I chat in English and I think in it and I speak it at work all the time. I find myself very often not being able to remember certain words in Russian when speaking to my Russian friends or family and just going with “uuhhmm… well, you understand me, this thing” and hoping they do. For my German – please, I need to relearn it probably. I can still read German and understand things, but speaking – nah-uh, not happening. I don’t remember much of my childhood, but I remember being way more talkative, always wanting to share something with people around me. But seeing them indifferent to it made this side of me slowly die over the years and I just kept being quiet, almost never sharing my thoughts. That’s why I struggled with commenting here first 1-2 months, but seeing everyone chatting made me want to make myself seen. Never regretted that first comment and all of those I made after. I don’t really have any ramble ideas – but luckily everyone has already shared theirs and they’re so nice! I’ll be happy to listen to whatever you end up choosing. Your voice comforts me 🤍 P.S. can I also mention that I love the smell of almond? Also, flowers. My new perfume smells of lilies and roses. Have a nice day everyone 💕

"the way we see ourselves is often vastly different from the way other people see us". At first my mind went "oh yeah that's a really helpful way to think about it" then I had to talk myself down from the impostor syndrome kicking in trying to tell me that it just means I fool everyone into thinking more/better of me than i am worth. Sigh, our brains are wondrous and yet sometimes pretty sinister things. 😩😅

myuniverse032518

Cosmicdreams, I didn't even know how much I needed to hear, "it’s important to remember that the way we see ourselves is often vastly different from the way other people see us. ". It made me a little emotional. And that's okay. It's definitely going to be my new mantra when I'm feeling self-conscious. Thank you so very much.

The unwrapped Starburst had me laughing and also loudly exclaiming, "GROOOOSSSS." Kind of a nice thoughtful touch, but mostly EWW. I really relate to a lot of what you said in your comments about being known and now social anxiety. I am much the same -- very reserved in offline life for the most part, but for better or worse you lovely people get the mostly unedited contents of my mind, and it's so freeing because this feels like a space of very little judgment. And it's nice to see other people feeling the same because everyone here is SO interesting and has wonderful things to say. It's really heartwarming to bolster each other's confidence to be ourselves. 💜

thank you for this ramble that allowed me to set aside some time to relax during this stressful day 🤍 just reflecting on what you said, reading the comments, and thinking about this whole community. i feel like the way i come across online is definitely more confident and outgoing than i am offline, and honestly i debated for a while whether to post this comment or not (and this internal debate happens with, like, every comment i post) because i often worry that i’ll embarrass myself or reveal too much. so anyone who struggles with comment anxiety, i’m right there with you 🤍 but i try to remind myself, and maybe this will help others, that your thoughts are valuable and deserve to be heard, even if past experiences have caused you to believe otherwise. and i think it’s important to remember that the way we see ourselves is often vastly different from the way other people see us. for example, i was watching a video in a class recently where this man had very severe social anxiety and he said it stems from being worried that people will perceive him as unintelligent, but the irony is that he was extremely well-spoken and articulate. i think we just need to allow ourselves to be heard, but i also recognize how difficult it is to overcome anxious thought patterns and there is no overnight fix for them. even though posting comments can give me anxiety, i push through it and do it anyway and i think it’s helping sending love to all 🤍✨

cosmicdreams

just gonna share my thoughts on different topics brought up while listening~ - ah, so you’re one of those people who drinks coffee for the taste and not because you’re completely dependent on caffeine, must be nice lol. i cannot imagine going the entire day without coffee and not noticing, the headache would’ve kicked in about an hour after i have my usual cup. - about ubers, man i wish you could choose a favorite and just have them pick you up all the time! i don’t uber much, but i had a friend in high school who would uber to school at least once a week, and she had quite a few characters pick her up. she said there was one uber who had unwrapped starbursts in the side compartments? and ONLY pink starbursts. 😳 she knew better than to eat them thankfully - so glad to hear that you’re feeling better, recognizing the anxious thought patterns and being able to let those thoughts pass by without it turning into a spiral. it sounds like you are prioritizing self care and being gentle with yourself which is great 🤍

cosmicdreams

I will definitely listen as soon as I find the time. (I started writing this very often. Maybe I should make it my nickname? "She'll listen later" or "I'm looking for time, it turns out badly")

/long and clever speech/ Thanks, Crunchy 💙

that’s exactly it! 😂 and it’s funny because i think i’m a pretty easy person to open up to, at least that’s what i’ve been told, because i’m a good listener and like to understand people but when the questions get turned around on me i clam up, like “uhh i’ve actually never experienced anything ever”

cosmicdreams

The fear of being known!! YES!! Exactly. I want to know everything about you, but you do NOT get to know about me until I decide it's time. 😂

Mrs. Dubose, i feel the exact same way as you about preferring to be anonymous in my daily life offline. part of it is the culture where i’m from (i think we’re both from the U.S. but each state has a completely different culture) where it’s not common to make small talk with baristas/grocery clerks, or most service workers for that matter. everything is very fast-paced here and people are just trying to get their job done, so i feel like small talk would actually bother some of them? and i’m a very shy and private person to begin with so i’m not the type to strike up a conversation unless someone else initiates it. as for the embarrassment when someone recognizes you as a regular, i feel that 😅 i like to call this The Fear of Being Known. the reminder that i am indeed perceived by other people is mortifying. in the words of one of my favorite singers, Conan Gray, “it’s so embarrassing being alive, it really is. and everyone looks at you and it’s like ‘i’m looking at you too but why are you looking at me?’“ also i’m so glad i’m not the only one who noticed the change in Crunchy’s accent! i’ve definitely noticed that he had a stronger Danish accent in audios from about a year ago. i’ve also noticed a slight change in tone as well? his voice is a bit deeper and raspier now compared to earlier audios, at least to me. just thought it was interesting, maybe it has something to do with the mic as well and i second the sleepy rambles suggestion 😊

cosmicdreams

Thank you Whisper and Cat! Honestly hearing feedback like that helps so much to loosen me up and ease some of the tension, I feel so grateful.

myuniverse032518

Also one vote for a sleepy ramble. Just waking up brains are always interesting.

Topics for next time. You mentioned one time maybe sharing your first sexual experience with both a male and female. If sharing that feels a bit too private, I also recently asked someone else if it felt like they lost their virginity twice in a sense. That whole concept is really interesting to me, and maybe a little more cerebral/abstract if you prefer that approach. Anything plant/nature related is always really interesting, or more nerding out on astronomy would also be fun. But this was also really lovely. Just chatting about random things. It was SO good to hear from you. 💜

Okay, responding while I do my second listen. Stream of consciousness rambles are perfect. Discussion topics are great, but it's also fun to feel like we're all just hanging out chatting. I'm so happy that lots of rambles are in the schedule. I can't believe you forgot coffee existed. You didn't have a headache from not having any? Coffee is one of those things that I crave the taste of if I go without for too long. It was super windy here today, too. I went outside to take some photos of flowers in my backyard because it was sunny and springy, and I had to come back inside because I didn't want to get bonked in the head by flying pine cones or dead tree limbs! I'm sorry to hear about your barista. Hopefully you can follow her to her next place. I'm sure she appreciates having pleasant chatty customers and wouldn't mind. I don't usually bond with people that way. I really like anonymity in those kinds of interactions. The few times I've been somewhere and the person finally comments that I'm there all the time, I always get embarrassed for some reason. Like, I realize they've got my habits pegged and I don't like it. Which is funny because in the culture where I live, it's very commonplace for strangers to chat to each other about any and everything. But the moment familiarity starts to creep in, I want to run away and hide. 😬 Maybe I need to figure out why that is. Banking. This is my wheelhouse, lol. The vast majority of people who visit a bank in person are age 50 and above. So much stuff can be done online and with phone apps now that there's not really a reason for a younger person to visit unless there's a major problem or security issue. On the flip side of the previous paragraph, people get VERY attached to their bankers (customers follow their bankers around like you talked about following the barista to her next job), lol, and not everyone is nice and normal. My upstairs office is one of the safe spaces where coworkers come to hide when "their" weird people come in. 😂 And yeah. Obvious PSA. Never touch money and then put your fingers in your mouth. 🤢 My teller friends have bad stories. I bought some new handsoap recently that was eucalyptus mint scented and it's so lovely. But for shampoo/body care I've been gravitating toward lavender lately. Lol at your eucalyptus poisoning paranoia, but also awww. 😂 Seconding the carrier oil suggestions. Big smile for your thoughts on mental healing. Recognizing progress is such a good feeling. Crunch the wingman! Well done! 🥰 Interesting about your decline in speaking Danish. What I've noticed is that your English is starting to sound very American, so it makes sense that Danish is taking a bit of a hit.