[Ramble] Crunchy tries to ramble on his couch [Existentialism] [Afterlife in non-dualism]

Also, a somber Billy Joel song with no piano accompaniment? Blasphemy. I would need to hear it and judge lol. I guess I know what I'll be listening to on YouTube for the rest of the afternoon.

Acedia

Lolololol I am dying because YES, that is EXACTLY it. 😂

@Mrs. Dubose- "i've got a shiny, just like new existential crisis that has your name on it, wanna take it for a drive?" The Big Crunch puts on an entire bottle of axe body spray before heading to work every morning, you can smell him from a mile away

cosmicdreams

I apologize for the mental image I am about to inflict upon you, but The Big Crunch makes me envision a middle aged, paunchy, overly tanned, greased up used car salesman with gold necklaces and a button up shirt open down to the navel. 😂🤣😂 I'm so sorry. But if I'm thinking it, you guys have to, too.

Reading more on The Big Crunch theory, my oh my this is interesting 😈

Phantasm Cat

Ha!! I love synchronicities like that. And also would love to hear more on this in another ramble sometime. C'mon Crunch, hit us with some science. We can handle it. 😄

I'm popping out of the rabbit hole to inform you all that I think the theory talked about here is called the Big Bounce. Whether or not it's been proven true or false, I like that it references something called "the Big Crunch." Which is like the opposite of the Big Bang. Lol

Acedia

I would consider myself more spiritual than religious. Which some consider a cop out. I identify as agnostic if only for no other word. But ideally, I like some of the polytheistic religion beliefs. Idk I like the idea that most living things have souls and energy that can even grow and change. This "linear" theory is almost like the opposite of the multiverse theory. Or at least it's sequencial instead of parallel. But it's not one I've really heard before. Definitely interesting though. The heat death of the universe would lead to the next big bang? What would that look like. A black hole grows and swallows the universe until the mass within explodes out again into a new big bang? Gravity is basically just mass times a constant right? It doesn't rely on any kind of thermodynamic energy, I don't think. So from what little I know about physics it seems plausible. This is a rabbit hole I'll happily stumble into. I got a lot of research to do.

Acedia

I have really come to appreciate the comment section here; even with tense or delicate subjects it has always felt respectful and at the very least civil, entirely welcoming and open ❤️

Ange

@Dubose your afterlife sounds absolutely lovely. I chuckled at the insects respectfully stay out of your house part cause I feel that. Love wildlife, know everything has its place in the ecosystem but away from me please 🤣

cherucaustic

My idea of the perfect afterlife is a little cosy house just the right size for me at the end of a winding lane. A wildflowery cottage garden in the front, rife with butterflies and friendly insects (which respectfully stay out of my house.) Inside lots of deep squishy armchairs, bookshelves everywhere, a tall bed with a big puffy duvet and plenty of soft pillows with enough room for all of my pets past and present to snuggle up with me. (Said pets include numerous cats and goats. Yes. There will be goats snuggling in my bed. 😜)

just wanted to say that i really appreciate the respectful discussions here. even though we have different beliefs, i really appreciate hearing everyone’s perspective 🤍 this topic can be quite heavy and my mind is reeling a bit from it tbh, but it was nice to be able to share my thoughts on these things, it’s something i haven’t been able to do in a long time. take care everyone ✨

cosmicdreams

@Vergil- thank you for sharing, that was so lovely to imagine 🤍

cosmicdreams

The perfect afterlife?? Peaceful. Surrounded by books. An endless beachfront. Harbouring only good memories of my loved ones. I have a dwindling association to life after death owing to my upbringing that is tied to repercussions of sorts, even though it's predominantly chained to the idea of rest. My own personal experience would be things I wished I could try/have while I was alive - and in a weird way - achieving the unattainable. It's not nearly as cosmic and wondrous as everyone else, but the thought of still finding meaning through new experiences is paradoxically lovely.. 🌹🌹 Thank you so much for this question 💙

like cherucaustic, my idea of the perfect afterlife is pretty aligned with the christian idea of heaven. i don’t like to speculate too much on it actually because i think if it does exist, it’s better than anything we could possibly imagine. but like cosymary, i also have issues with the concept of hell if i’m to answer the question based on my finite knowledge and existence on this earth, i once visited Big Sur, California on vacation and we went to a restaurant there with an incredible view of the coast. the waiter that served us told us that he lived close to the restaurant and watched the sunrise every morning with a cup of coffee and a book. the feeling of peace and serenity that image gave me, that’s my idea of what heaven feels like

cosmicdreams

Cat, I love that visual. It reminds me of the glow in the dark stars I had on my ceiling as a kid and looking at them in the dark before sleep. 💖

Mrs. Dubose! A good question, and I love reading everyone's responses. I was always conflicted with what could be considered the "perfect" afterlife. At one point, I thought that whatever makes us "us" is just broken down. In the physical realm, our bodies are broken down and all those little particles and such are returned back to the earth. If there really is a spiritual realm, then the soul would be transported to some type of realm that brings comfort and harmony. When I was little, I thought that we could choose what happens to us after we die, so I wanted to fly to the stars. Sounds comforting enough to me

Phantasm Cat

Darn, just got a chance to listen to this and was about to comment, but suddenly realised everyone here has a far more profound and intelligent way of thinking about things like these... ☺️ So yeah, hope everyone is doing well and keeping safe and that your mental is doing great too 💙💙

💕

@Dubose I think we’re more alike that we think then. I reject the church, man interpretation of anything because we as humans have flaws, agendas, mistranslations etc but I’m not rejecting God. It’s just my relationship with him is mine and personal and isn’t up for scrutiny. I treat people how I want to be treated I always try to do what’s right and that has to be enough. If it isn’t then so be it.

cherucaustic

@cherucaustic This is part of the reason why I left the church as an establishment but still hold deep spiritual beliefs. I think the church places so much emphasis on what WE must do to EARN heaven. But over and over again the raw source material (I'm trying to keep from saying the B-word. 😉) teaches that the true power of the outcome lies with God, not us crappy flawed humans. So yeah. In case it wasn't clear, the church? Not a fan. Legalistic doctrines? Not a fan. Spirituality? Very much on board.

@Dubose totally I appreciate the civil discussion on it. Though I think Patreon ate the comment I made that you’re even replying to it’s probably for the best lol. @cosymary5 what you’re describing is also a huge part of my issue. I just cannot believe that because people didn’t pick the right god or any god that they face eternal damnation even if they’re a better person then I’ll ever be. I feel like it’s more likely that god reaches people how they’ll accept/understand/need so that we’re all right. Every subsection of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism etc. God found us right where we are and met us halfway. But I don’t know anyone else that sees it like I do and anytime I explain it I get looked at like I have five heads lol.

cherucaustic

@cosymary I think that’s incredibly beautiful, to live forever in another way, just being a part of the universe.

Ange

@cherucaustic I was also taught in church that we'll remember everything, but we will see our memories from a more "enlightened" perspective and the bad things will not cause us pain anymore. But my issue was / still is with the idea of Christian heaven or at least the idea I grew up with, was that ppl who are not "saved" (didn't accept Jesus in their heart) will go to hell regardless of their morals, so if I went to heaven I will most likely not have a bunch of people there with me (friends, relatives etc) because they were not saved.

@cherucaustic It's so interesting to me how those of us that grew up under the umbrella of Christianity had such different experiences and nuanced belief systems. Thanks for sharing. 💜 Edit: Lol, okay, I was trying not to go here because I don't want to spark some kind of big religious debate in the comments of an erotic audio Patreon. Everyone here is so respectful, but I'm not always confident in my own word choices. So I'll just keep it vague and say that I was also taught that while it's not explicitly spelled out, there is a possible interpretation that suggests people in Heaven can still see their loved ones on Earth.

honestly, I cannot really imagine a perfect afterlife. I am ok with dying and my atoms / the pieces that used to be "me" going back into the universe, becoming part of other people, nature etc. I find that kinda poetic and comforting to know. However, I would like for life to be longer, like maybe twice the usual human expectancy? because I do think it's too short, especially since people only truly understand themselves and find who they are after mid 25s.

I'm curious why you think you won't remember things? Is it because of the whole thing of, no bad stuff can exist in Heaven? I always kind of interpreted that to mean you'd remember your life history, but the bad emotions attached to it would be gone. Like, a very blasé, oh yeah, that was a thing that happened to me but it's over now. 🤷‍♀️

So regardless of what I said above my ~perfect~ afterlife does kind of align with my traditional Christian upbringing. If there is an after then I want to be with my friends my family my pets, remember every moment we shared and get to make a billion more until the end of time. Kinda like still living life but without the awful parts? So lots of talking and hanging out. It’s the not remembering part I struggle with, I know “I’ll know” them but everything that I’ve ever done everyone I’ve ever met made me the person that I am and it wouldn’t be paradise if I couldn’t remember that. I wouldn’t be me anymore if that makes any sense. I literally just rolled out of bed so I’m sorry if I sound ridiculous haha.

cherucaustic

Another former conservative Baptist here 👋🏽 really messed with me a lot haha. I wouldn’t say I’m atheist though. I do believe in God or a higher power but I reject man’s interpretation of what that actually means.

cherucaustic

ALSO. What is your perfect afterlife? That's a question for both Crunch and all of you lovely commenters. Edit for clarity: Even if you don't believe in it, what would your imaginary perfect afterlife be?

Glad to hear I am not alone in this hehe ❤

Mary ❤ We have a very similar religious background and journey to atheism. Just thought I'd share 😆

Sooo I listened to this last night, but it was very late and the afterlife discussion kinda broke my brain a little bit, so I relistened in the light of day. The accent change – it makes sense to change the way you speak based on the media consumed and the people you interact with. I keep realizing I say certain words and phrases because I’ve heard them a lot from friends and I was subconsciously mirroring them. Yay for the a keyboard ramble with added sound effects! Afterlife thoughts - I grew up conservative Baptist so I never questioned my beliefs of heaven and hell, until I left home to go to university. Then I had several years where I had a whole journey going from acknowledging that evolution was a fact, to calling myself an agnostic, until I finally became comfortable to take on the atheist label. So, I do not believe in an afterlife or that there is anything more for us than the here and now. I’m an all or nothing person, so once I couldn’t make myself believe in God anymore and the Christian idea of an afterlife which dominated most of my life, I couldn’t replace that with another belief. Maybe that makes me boring or unimaginative but it is what it is. Also “the guy that does the Marvel stuff” is Stan Lee, you philistine 😆 Glad to hear you are getting back into the barbershop quartet ❤ also your singing voice is lovely. I remember the Hades game song cover and the Mamamoo song cover you posted, please do more of these 🙏 AHHH the meows how I missed those! The cuddles! I want cuddles daily, but I live alone and it’s awkward to ask friends for cuddles when we visit each other lol Aww it’s so cute how you talk about your curly haired friend 🥰 This was a very lovely ramble and the audio quality just made it more intimate? Like two friends having a late night discussion about various things on the couch. Very much a fan of this ❤

@cosmicdreams "I think i’ve had to come to terms with the fact that i will never know the full truth, none of us will... and so it really is a matter of making a choice to believe." Exactly. It's faith. True faith isnt something you fall into. It's a conscious choice. 💜

I'm back. CW: observing death, not detailed. I've been reading everyone else's thoughts and beliefs on the afterlife, and while my core beliefs are very different than most here (I subscribe to the traditional Christian view of an afterlife), I do leave room for different possibilities. What I CAN say with absolute certainty is that our energy continues to exist after we die in some shape or form. I have seen the visible difference in a person's body after their soul leaves but the shell continues to mechanically breathe. Numerous times I have felt the unmistakable presence of someone very close to me after they have passed. It is too noticeable and intentional to be a coincidence. There's so much more I could say about this, but it's a very raw thing for me. So I just wanted to chime in and say that based on my own personal experience, I believe with all of my heart that we still live on in some way.

so i am back here with kinda coherent thoughts! i was raised by a christian mother and father who is more on scientific side of the question. that’s really interesting how they both had an impact on me and what i believe in now. i was really scared of death in my early teens and that’s when i began searching for answers about afterlife. i studied different religions (my mom’s dad is Jewish and her mom is Christian, and my step-dad is Islamic, so i was really interested in religion),several scientific theories and came up with believing that we all are energies pent in physical core. what i also remember is my science teacher back in school once told us how praying and meditating worked based on physics. i was really into this topic since than. i don’t believe in afterlife (like that afterlife ancient Egyptians believed in) i think that our energies (=souls) are finding new physical core, so i can say i believe in reincarnation/?/honestly, i am not quite sure if it is what i truly believe (i am still searching i guess) , but it makes me feel comfortable just to exist and live knowing that my energy (equals me) won’t ever disappear. i really got interested in your theory, crunchy, but i think that i need more time to process it in my mind. and as Mrs. Dubose already said here, so if there is no something spiritual in your theory, than what defines us as Us if not our souls. comparing it to my sight on things, energy (as that Energy that is described in physics) isn’t something spiritual, but it still define us as human beings, as it is an unique set of particles. i am not sure if i am making sense now or i am just rambling. but that’s my point of view! also, that bit about ‘cute boy’ got me smiling. that’s so relatable! like the gentle loving feeling for your friend, almost something romantic/?/ is what i usually feel towards my mates. and now i really want to touch those curly soft hair😅 anyways, i rumbled enough! thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and bringing up such a great topic! take care, crunchy and everyone here🤍🐾

that’s such an interesting topic!! i can rumble a lot about life and afterlife, so i need to collect my thoughts and put them in the right order to leave a coherent comment

Exactly. I have a million questions and very few answers. I’m open to all possibilities on all things because who am I to decide it’s wrong? If I or you or someone else believes something with all that they are then shouldn’t that be enough? At least for now anyway. I gave up having these kinds of conversations with my parents long ago, I was actually the only one in my entire family that ever really questioned anything. Sure made get togethers awkward lol. I’ve only seen a handful of scenes from This Is Us, this one was new to me. It very much encapsulates how I feel and really moved me. Thank you for sharing it with me 💗

cherucaustic

i relate to the questioning at a young age so hard. the problem is that there aren’t answers for all my questions, and i think i’ve had to come to terms with the fact that i will never know the full truth, none of us will (and this kinda gets into nihilism and if there is such a thing as truth but i’ve already rambled so much lol) and so it really is a matter of making a choice to believe. yeah, i questioned commenting about my beliefs because it’s such a personal thing to me and something i’ve struggled with for a while, but it’s also really comforting to find people who understand where you’re coming from. this kind of conversation is not really something i could have with my parents without feeling judged tbh. i love your perspective on how our loved ones live inside us 🤍 that’s so beautiful and i really resonate with it, our loved ones may not physically be with us but we carry their memories with us and they shape us into the person we are, so they are a part of us. it reminds me of a scene from the show This Is Us that discusses a similar idea to that and it really touched me when i watched it. i linked it here in case you haven’t watched the show: https://youtu.be/xh-Tof_QxKU

cosmicdreams

Cosmicdreams, I think August is around the time I started listening as well! I say around because I’ve lurked gwa a very long time and I think I probably heard Crunch back when he started and I didn’t realize it haha. I completely understand what you’re saying, I have such a Christian foundation but an extremely scientific/analytical brain. I was freaking my parents out about my questioning the Bible at like 6 years old lmao. I ~want~ to believe so deeply there’s an after because I’ve lost so many people and pets and I want to see them again someday but because of how rigid man has made religion concerning heaven and hell I’m not sure I would see them. And I can’t allow myself to believe anything or anyone is that cruel. I think lately I’ve felt that my loved ones are always with me here and now because they’re IN me. I carry their memories, their hobbies, all the encouragement they blessed me with my whole life, they shaped me into who I am so while they aren’t on this earth I never lost them. I totally get that moment I kind of questioned myself a million times to even post my comment getting so deep into religion because it’s not something I talk about at all let alone on a erotic audio Patreon. It’s a very interesting space that we’re in but I appreciate being able to have these kinds of conversations. It’s definitely unique and wild here.

cherucaustic

i thought crunchy was british too when i first started listening lol! i think i started listening back in august (?) and it seemed like he had a stronger british influence on his accent back then. but yeah, i agree that his accent is the crunchy accent and is a mix of various influences which makes it really interesting to listen to i was raised christian as well, and i agree that their perspectives on the afterlife are hard to wrap my head around. it’s interesting to read your perspective, about how you would rather believe there is no afterlife because the one described in christianity is one where you don’t recognize your loved ones. learning about that was difficult for me as well. i have very complex feelings on life after death. on the one hand, i actually feel great comfort in my belief that we have souls that live on for eternity because when someone close to me passes, it doesn’t feel like they’re truly gone. on the other hand, based on the christian perspective of the afterlife that means their soul either went to heaven or hell, so the idea of a loved one potentially suffering for eternity is very upsetting. also i’m just having a moment of like “it’s so wild that i’m discussing religion, spirituality, and the concept of the afterlife on an erotic audio creator’s patreon with people i may never meet offline but have developed a bond and sense of familiarity with” 🤯 life, man. it’s crazy.

cosmicdreams

Recording from the couch is great I think it gives a more casual, we’re just conversing vibe. And the audio quality didn’t take any kind of hit at least for me. When I first found you on Reddit in the back of my head I went “British? But off somehow??” And I didn’t figure it out until I got to an audio with the [Danish] tag haha. You do sound more American but how you say certain words still ping my British radar though a lot less lately I think. At this point in my head it’s just a “Crunchy accent” as silly as that sounds. With all your lovable inflections and all. I was raised very strictly Christian and while not devout by any stretch I guess there’s parts of it I can’t shake so the concept of an after is something I’ve thought about a lot. Some parts sound good the idea that you’ll always be happy, with your loved ones, no pain, no concept of time. But in the same breath there’s “no pain” because you don’t remember your loved ones so you don’t miss them? Which I violently reject. The people I’ve loved make life worthwhile and they would make the afterlife worthwhile too. I honestly rather believe there’s nothing after. That we only get one shot at existence good, bad, ugly and we have to leave it all on the table. There’s a peace in knowing you did all you could with the time you were given and that it’s just over. The universe will continue on without us, we started as energy and return to energy. Please serenade us more often and/or forever Crunchy haha. Got me vibing to Billy Joel now 🎶🎧 I’m very uh…weird about people touching me but those I feel safe with like my partner I’m basically a cuddly octopus and won’t detach unless forced, especially while sleeping 😂. Feel like I’ve word vomited enough tonight so I hope everyone and Crunchy have a good night/day wherever you are 💗

cherucaustic