March 2023 Update - Loneliness talk, travelling, friendship, etc.

Hope you have a great few days in Hamburg and the city is good to you. We have some nice people and great sights, have fun! 🧡

Loved the cafe analogy, I can picture it in my head like the other cosy couch-cuddle-pile-situation. Thank you for opening this cafe and making it so welcoming from the beginning ☕️ Last night, I was finishing a show with my friend and they were so excited to watch a scene together, that they laid down and cuddled into my lap. A bit later, they admitted that they hadn’t laid on someone in a couple of years because they are normally the one who gets laid on. It was very sweet and comfy and it felt good to be back in a grounded “spot” post-traveling (my semester started recently). A pretty stark difference from just about a month ago, when I was in the middle of my travels. While I love seeing new places, I also definitely got that lonely feeling. Add on the fact that I wasn’t traveling for fun, but for learning/training and dealing with some tough situations, and I just wanted to BE with someone who understood me. Unfortunately, meeting new people doesn’t really satiate the feelings even if they are offline interactions, so I had to push it down for a bit until I could get back to my friends. I think the feelings will always come and go as life does and I just try to keep moving forward to see what comes next. Random blurb of my day: My housemate drove me home, I passed out on my bed, and missed the pharmacology lecture I was supposed to tune into (oops). I woke up all groggy the same time as my housemate, who also ended up taking a nap, so I made miso soup for dinner and cranked out some work while sipping tea.

Loneliness is complex and melancholic and introspective and infuriating. In some ways, at some times, it’s also necessary. Many of us might describe ourselves as introverts, loners, etc. However we need connection in the ways we need water and food. I think the dichotomy of these two things means we live our lives in a constant ‘feast or famine’ state. And isn’t touch the most exquisite sustenance? Te deseo besos hambrientos y caricias voraces, cariño.

Nicole

I think public transportation really helps me feel less lonely. Even when I don’t interact with anyone, it’s nice to just see people interact with each other and to physically be around others who are going about their daily lives. Like this morning on the train the sun was shining perfectly and everyone had their coffees and there were people holding hands and friends chatting, and it just felt very comfortable and sweet. I don’t know what it is, but trains make me think about humanity a lot and sometimes it’s overwhelming but most of the time it just makes me feel soft. This was a bit of a ramble, but sending you a big hug for your journey 🤍

I'm so sorry you're feeling that kind of loneliness. I wish the best for you and hope that feeling ends soon. I really do that feeling sucks I have only felt that way twice. In 2008, I met my husband on Myspace and whenever we got done talking with each other, I would cry. I just wanted to hug and kiss him so bad. I wasn't thinking about just sex, I just wanted to be around him after knowing him for a few months. But BOTH of our families thought we were each "catfishing" each other so that really made me feel so hopeless that we would never have the money to meet in person. We were hoping they would help us a little with meeting up. I lived in Arizona and he was all the way in West Virginia. We're both poor so traveling that fucking far was so expensive for us. But we hanged on and 9 fucking months later, we finally meet. It's going to sound cheap but I'm leaving a lot out because privacy since others can see my comment. Plus, even if I told everything, I feel like no one would understand but when we met it was magic! We didn't own a computer at the time so I would always have to go to the library to chat online IF I wasn't using my home phone to talk to him. (didn't own a cell at the time) So ALL we heard all those months together, was our voices. We did send pictures of course to show what we looked like but we never seen each other in video. In motion. (Which didn't help with our family giving us negative thoughts but we did good ignoring them.) Two days after meeting we got married in a courtroom with just sweaters and jeans. And we've been married ever since and are still SO happy and in love. I feel so blessed and thankful that we never gave up on each other when other people in our life wanted us too. I understand from their POV but I also wish they didn't have to say it so much, you know? We live in our own little bubble in a house away from everyone. Not on purpose, it just happened that way with looking for a place to live. But now, 2023 I'm feeling that loneliness again but for my friends and family. I live with my husband in West Virginia because cheaper rent plus I LOVE snow, never seen snow until I came here so I said, "bye AZ, fuck your hot weather" lol ...but I really REALLY miss my best friend and my mom. We haven't been able to visit each other in 6 years... I'm really angry with my country for having everything so expensive. I feel like I can't breathe, every time I take a breath a new bill to pay off pops up. But being with the love of my life helps me keep hope that one day, something will happen and we wont be struggling anymore and we can travel to friends and family whenever we want. I can't wait to feel that comfortable in life. Can't. Wait.

V

I can't write a lot today as I normally might, but just wanted to say hello~ 🍀experiencing lockdown/quarantine and now about 1.5 years of serious illness gave me a lot of thoughts on how humans are meant to touch each other, live in communities, help each other find food, pick bugs off of each other's backs ... but I'm very very lucky and grateful for what I have. Also, this really is a cute little cafe, I love that. Today I'm having a hot chai and a chocolate croissant!! There's a Palestinian cafe in a different neighborhood that I want to go try later. Be well 🧡🧡🧡

solarpowerduck

Having a stable environment with simple routines makes establishing and maintaining friendships/relationships so much easier. But I'm a creature of habit and an introvert so I'm pretty simple. I'll take a hot chocolate with a pump of mdom and sprinkled with extra praise ☕💕. Hehe, I do like the idea of being a regular at the 'Crunchy Café.

Acedia

Damn, I envy you a lot. Thanks for the lil update!

The loneliness is understandable when you travel alone, especially since you've been at it for a while now. Making new friends while you're travelling is fun but it's different to the comfortable "always around" socialising? Like hanging out with old friends, or having neighbours that you know. I felt like that when I moved out of home to the opposite side of the city. And over time too it gets harder and harder to meet up with friends. Schedules change, people work, life happens. I don't want to sound too negative though, I still get to see friends, just takes more time and planning. And even though I've drifted apart from some friends I cherish the ones that've stuck around. But hugs for you Crunchy, loneliness can definitely be soul crushing. Maybe once you're settled at your new place you'll feel a little better since you're staying for a few months right? It not much but at least you have us in chat too 😋😅 And I get what you mean about the horniness, I guess? Hahaha, in that it's not so much the sex itself but the emotional intimacy behind it. I think I (sort of) subconsciously satisfy that feeling by reading a lot of romance novels 😂 Even though sometimes there's sex, often what I like reading is "the chase"/"getting to know you" kinda aspects of the story, or just overall seeing a relationship deepen and develop over time. Writing about this stuff made me think of a nice memory when I was a uni student. One night a friend called me cos she was hungry and wanted McDonald's. I snuck out of the house and she came to pick me up, and we ended up calling another 3-4 friends that lived in the neighbourhood to meet us there. McDonald's had a toy promo on too and you could get mini paper versions of Monopoly, so we ended up hanging out until 4am playing Monopoly at McDonald's. Does that count as a sweet thing? It's a sweet memory to me I guess haha. Something I haven't thought about in a long time. Anyway, sorry for the long comment! But take care sir~ Good to know you're recovering well too ☕❤️

_S

This morning I took my bike to my parents house and went on a nice bike ride at a trail. It felt good to go fast and get my heart beating. The weather was perfect and warm. Then I got me and my little sister coffee. She’s leaving for college soon and I’m trying to spend as much time as I can with her. I understand the loneliness feeling, I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. It comes and go for me. Hope you feel better.

SaintCelsi