Interview #3 InkSpot Interview: Jace Miller [Full Text Transcript]

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"I've been kicked in the heart more times than I've been kicked in the shins on the field. But I believe in love, and you gotta get back up and keep going no matter how many times you’re knocked down.” JASON MILLER

In a cast of characters that range from completely untrustworthy to mildly suspicious, it’s refreshing to speak to someone as simple and open as Jason “Jace” Miller. His academic career may not be as robust as his peers, but he makes up for it with his positive attitude and skill on the soccer field.

This third interview proved to be one of the easiest to conduct thus far. Reinforcements were not needed, as I quickly discovered Jace was an open book. His laid-back attitude and natural charm set the tone for this exclusive interview with College Craze’s resident golden retriever.

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PRETTY INK: Jason, Jason, Jason! How are you, my man?!

JASON “JACE” MILLER: I’m chillin’ like a villain! Haha, how are you?

INK: You know what? I’m doing really well. You don’t know how hard it is to get these interviews set up usually. You really made it so easy for me, so I have to thank you.

MILLER: Seriously? Who would turn down a free pizza just to answer a few questions about yourself?

INK: Exactly what I was thinking! But apparently, it takes more than a few flyers around campus to get people to come in and do this.

MILLER: More pizza for me I guess, haha.

INK: You’re a smart man, Miller and I appreciate that about you. So go ahead and grab a few slices, cause we have quite a few questions to get through.

MILLER: Sweet! Pineapple bacon jalapeño, my favorite, how’d you know?

INK: Lucky guess… Let’s get into it, shall we?

MILLER: [Says something unintelligible while stuffing face with pizza]

INK: I’ll take that as a yes… So, do you play any other sports besides soccer?

MILLER: I used to run track, and play hockey growing up, but by the time I got to high school I was all soccer.

MILLER: I was this close to choosing hockey over soccer in the long run, but obviously soccer won out.

INK: Why’s that?

MILLER: I know it might sound really dumb, but it had nothing to do with the sports themselves, it was just the locker rooms and the guys on the teams… Like, hockey bros can be cool some of the time, but for the most part, they’re actually insane, haha.

I remember the day I decided to drop hockey was the day they tried to hold me down and shave my head before a game.

INK: Shave your head?! What?

MILLER: Yeah, they all had this stupid idea to do like, matching mullets for the season, and I just didn’t wanna do it. So they came at me with a buzzer and I quit. Never had to deal with anything like that with soccer, haha.

INK: Sounds intense… How did you first get into soccer?

MILLER: My dad put all of us into sports growing up, so I never had like, a choice really? I was doing a bunch of other sports too when I was really little… I did baseball for a bit, and basketball and all that stuff, but I just realized, like most of the friends I had were on the soccer team, and I had the most fun with them out of all the others.

INK: Would you consider soccer a passion or more of a hobby?

MILLER: I think it definitely started out as a passion, but I dunno, these days it kinda feels like a hobby. Like, I know I’m good, but every year on the team I see dudes who are sooo much better than I was as a freshman.

INK: So do you think you’ll ever pursue soccer professionally?

MILLER: Ha! I wish. I’m not good enough for that, no way.

INK: Aw, don’t put yourself down, you’re really good Jace!

MILLER: I know, but I just wouldn’t be able to keep up. The pressure is already crazy enough at D2, I can barely swing that you know? It’s all good. I’m happy at the level I’m at.

INK: So if pro soccer isn’t in your post-college plan, what is?

MILLER: Ah, haha, that’s a really hard one… Am I allowed to skip?

INK: Not really, but this isn’t that hard of a question, I’m sure you’ve at least had a few ideas.

MILLER: To be honest, I really haven’t… Like it’s something I kinda avoid thinking about.

INK: Okay, how about this, why don’t you describe what your ideal life looks like?

MILLER: Sorry, do you mind if I vape?

INK: No, go right ahead… So your ideal life?

MILLER: Uh… I guess living in a nice house? Maybe a few dogs, my wife, and a huge backyard. That’s major, actually, I want like, acres and acres.

INK: Big yard for the dogs to run around in?

MILLER: Yeah, but also, we had a tiny yard growing up. And half of it was used for my mom’s garden, so I never really went back there. But I always liked the idea of having a bunch of trees and grass and space to just look out on and be in, you know?

INK: Considering you’ve always been super active, that makes perfect sense… Do you have any thoughts on where you see yourself in the future?

MILLER: Like where I’d live? I think here in Sugardale. I’ve visited a couple places, but Sugardale just feels like home and I don’t wanna leave that. I can’t stand being on campus, though...

Plus, my mom’s here, my dad travels a lot, and my brothers both left, so when she gets older I don’t want her completely alone, you know?

INK: That’s very sweet Jace… Most people your age are trying to get out of their hometowns as fast as they can.

MILLER: I’m in no rush, haha. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anyways, so why go somewhere I don’t know on top of that?

INK: Good point…Do you have a lifelong dream?

MILLER: No, I don’t think so… Maybe meet David Sweetham? See a game of his in person? That would be pretty sweet.

INK: You only wanna meet him? Why not play a game with him?

MILLER: He’d hand my ass to me, no way, haha!

INK: Okay, we’re gonna do some rapid-fire ones-

MILLER: Wait, I’m sorry, do you have any more?

INK: Pizza? D-Did you really finish the whole box that fast?

MILLER: Yeah, I’m sorry, it was really good… It’s cool if you don’t-

INK: It’s fine. Bernie!!

BERNIE: Here you go, Ms. Pretty.

INK: I have a feeling we’re gonna need more, so just keep these coming.

BERNIE: Yes, ma’am.

MILLER: Sweet! Thanks, bro!

INK: Okay, so rapid-fire… Manbuns — Yay or Nay?

MILLER: Yay! I’d go blind during practice otherwise, haha.

INK: Do you like cats?

MILLER: They’re chill.

INK: If you had to choose, Cats, dogs, or… other?

MILLER: That's tough, 'cause I love dogs, but I always thought it would be cool to have a turtle… I’ll go with dogs, since I know what it’s like to have one, haha.

INK: Do you have a hair care routine? And if so, what products do you use?

MILLER: Haha, kinda, yeah. I don’t remember where the hell I got it, but I like to use this like, coffee scrub thing on my scalp maybe once a week… I think I stole it from Malcolm… Other than that, shampoo and condition with Split Endz clean green line. And kinda scrunch up my hair with my towel out of the shower, then air dry.

INK: I gotta say, that is way more involved than I thought it would be, for you.

MILLER: Well I’m not a slob, haha, I gotta keep a sick flow!

INK: That is true, a sick flow is vital… Favorite snacks?

MILLER: Honeybuns, pineapple fruit cups, and any kind of cherry-flavored taffy.

INK: No shoutouts for Holy O’s?

MILLER: That’s like, a given, haha. Of course, I love Holy O’s. I can tell the recipes changed though, so I guess not as big of a fan as I used to be…

INK: Speaking of Holy O’s… What was its secret? Why was it so good?

MILLER: Are you asking for my mom’s recipe? Cause that’s one thing she swore me to secrecy on… I can’t bake, but I know her secret ingredient and you’ll never get that outta me.

INK: Not even for another pizza?

MILLER: Not for all the pizza in the world, haha.

INK: Fine, I’ll let you have that one… What does a normal meal look like for you?

MILLER: Like a lunch or something? Uh, honestly, pizza probably. If I’m back home on break I might do a double P and J with an apple or something.

INK: Double P and J?

MILLER: Pineapple, Peanut butter, and Jelly sandwich.

INK: … You really really like pineapples, huh?

MILLER: Best fruit of all time!

INK: Do you get along with other Jasons?

MILLER: Like… Other dudes named Jason?

INK: Uh, yeah…

MILLER: I think so, haha. I’ve never met a Jason that I didn’t like. I think we’re all pretty chill.

INK: Do you believe in superstitions and luck?

MILLER: I think it’s cool to think about, but I don’t like actually believe in stuff like that. I think things just kinda happen cause they happen and we can’t always explain it.

INK: Would you consider yourself to be a good guy?

MILLER: I hope so?

INK: Why are you so damn precious? Can you share secrets on how to be such a cinnamon roll?

MILLER: Haha, uh, thank you? I dunno if I have any tips, I just try to stay positive when I can and stay away from assholes, mostly…

INK: Aw, and here I thought pineapples were your secret.

MILLER: I mean, who knows? Maybe pineapples have some special effects on my personality or something, haha.

INK: Why do you give big Aussie vibes?

MILLER: Like, Australia? You know what? That’s actually not the first time I’ve heard that. That or people think I’m from Cali and big into surfing. Maybe it’s the hair?

INK: You’re not into surfing?

MILLER: Well, I’ve done it a few times, but you couldn’t call me a surfer at all, haha.

INK: So “Jace” means healer. What exactly do you heal? Empty hearts? Empty pussies? Empty soccer goalposts?

MILLER: Hahaha! Wait, that's a joke right?

INK: For the sake of keeping this interview going, yes, it is. You’re so straightforward Jace, do you have any secrets?

MILLER: Well sure, everyone’s got secrets, haha.

INK: You don’t wanna share any here with us today?

MILLER: I can’t really think of any off the top of my head right now…. Oh wait, there is one, but it's actually really stupid. Like, probably not worth saying haha.

INK: Go for it!

MILLER: Okay, this is really pathetic, but for like 3 years I had the biggest crush on my roomie’s older sister.

INK: Sofia? Shaun’s sister?

MILLER: Yeah! Haha, it was so bad, cause she only talked to me like, twice and probably didn’t know I even existed, but I was crushing hard. I never told him about it.

INK: Still crushing?

MILLER: Nah, that was back when I was in high school, haha.

INK: Well-

MILLER: You okay?

INK: Yeah, I’m just hacking up a lung right now. You’re hot boxing my studio.

MILLER: Shit, I’m sorry, I’ll hold off till the end.

INK: Thanks… Why do you smoke so much jadeleaf? Do you get nervous or what?

MILLER: Uhh… I dunno. It’s just something I do… I wouldn’t say it's a lot though.

INK: Do you smoke every day?

MILLER: Well… Yeah, but if I’m going back to visit my parents or have important games or whatever coming up, I won’t. Like, I’m able to go without it.

INK: Mhm… What’s the longest you’ve been without it?

MILLER: I dunno… A few days maybe? Listen, I’m not like, addicted if that’s what you’re getting at.

INK: I never said you were. Just asking questions…

MILLER: Okay cool… For sure…

INK: When did you first start smoking?

MILLER: I was 13, I think. My family went on our first big vacation in Hawaii, cause we were celebrating my mom’s 5th anniversary of her shop opening.

I caught Travis and Malcolm smoking by the pool one day when my parents were out shopping… They thought I was gonna rat them out, so they let me try some to keep me quiet, haha.

INK: Were you ever planning on telling your parents?

MILLER: No, I wasn’t, but I let them think I was. What 13-year-old wouldn’t try jade if offered? Especially if it’s from your older bros and you look up to them, you know? Like, they’d never do anything to hurt me so I just thought it was cool and tried it…

INK: And you’ve been smoking every day since?

MILLER: No, haha. Not at all, I really didn’t smoke through high school, I think when I got to college I got more into it for sure.

INK: And how do you feel when you’re smoking jadeleaf?

MILLER: Huh… That’s a good question, I’ve never thought about that before…

MILLER: I guess, I feel… Like I have a little more control over my thoughts? I know it sounds the opposite of what people think when they think of jade, you know… Stoners, super lazy, or whatever. But I think without it, my heads all over the place…

Like, lost almost. So when I smoke, all that calms down, and I just worry about what’s in front of me right at that moment instead of my future or past or whatever…

I’m sorry, I’m rambling. I’m probably not making any sense.

INK:  No, you’re making perfect sense. I think this might be something to keep thinking about, especially the few times you're sober… You might figure something out about yourself.

MILLER: Yeah…

INK: Let’s switch gears. Tell me about Shaun. How is it, having him as a roommate?

MILLER: It’s pretty chill. He’s a good guy. I had a shitty roommate my freshman year and Shaun came in the clutch last year letting me room with him.

INK: Yeah, that definitely was nice of him… I guess it pays to be friends with the right people sometimes… Do you think other people try to take advantage of your relationship with Shaun?

MILLER: Uh… I think it happens sometimes, sure, but like… Sugardale is filled with sooo many rich kids. It’s so normal for them to be that way. I don’t even sweat it, you know?

INK: So does Shaun ever use your position as a team captain to his benefit?

MILLER: I’m a pretty shitty team captain, and I’m broke, so I don’t know what he’d ever use me for, haha.

INK: I don’t think you’re a shitty team captain. Your teammates love you!

MILLER: Yeah, but I can’t like, lead them… I barely know what to do with myself, I don’t have the first clue on how to tell a whole group of guys what to do…

INK: You gotta give yourself more credit… Could you tell me more about how you and Shaun became friends?

MILLER: Uh, yeah… So Shaun’s family bought my mom out like, 3 years ago now, I think? But before that, they had been really trying to work something out with her for a few years.

INK: Ah, so there were plans to buy her out for a while?

MILLER: Kind of? The first time they approached her, they really just tried to throw a bunch of money at her, but she didn’t want to just sign away her life’s work. They had a bunch of bogus shit in their contracts every time they came back to her, and she just wouldn’t sign.

And then we heard that the Montgomerys were supposed to put in an offer, and the Arroyos started really getting buddy-buddy with us. They started taking my dad out on golf trips, inviting us over for dinners, all that stuff… So Shaun was always there at those outings and we kinda would hang out and play video games or shoot hoops while our parents would schmooze.

INK: So your families are pretty close?

MILLER: They were, but I don’t think in the same way a lot of other families with that kinda money are close… It was kinda always business with them. But not so much with me and Shaun cause we’re not trying to get each other to sign contracts, haha.

INK: How do you really feel about his family now owning Holy O’s?

MILLER: It’s chill…

INK: It didn’t ask if it was chill, Jace, I asked how you really feel about it…

MILLER: …I guess… It’s kinda weird? I don’t think my mom ever really wanted to sell her shop. She just liked the attention from such a rich family… So for her to have to sell it after what she went through to build it and then lose it in such a shitty way just… sucks. But I guess it’s better than a family or company we didn’t know, you know?

INK: Yeah… What are your thoughts on the animosity between Bryce and Shaun?

MILLER: It is so dumb, holy shit, haha.

INK: How so?

MILLER: I guess I’ll never get it, 'cause I don’t run in those circles, but the idea of hating someone else cause of shit your parents did to each other seems… I dunno, pointless? Let your parents beef it out, I guess? Don’t let your family control who you hang out with or have issues with.

INK: Mhm… Bringing this back to Shaun for a moment, I know you go on errands for him from time to time, do you do other things for him?

MILLER: Uh… Sure, if he needs it. It would be kinda weird if I didn’t.

INK: Does he do errands for you?

MILLER: No… I guess not, but I never really ask.

INK: Mhm… Interesting… Do you trust your suitemate?

MILLER: Shaun? Yeah, I think so, haha. Why?

INK: Just asking the questions on the card…Why does your roomie have handcuffs and toys under his bed?

MILLER: Wait… Is that on the card too?

INK: It is!

MILLER: Uhh… Why are you snooping in Shaun’s room?

INK: I didn’t snoop in Shaun’s room.

MILLER: Then why are you saying there’s stuff under his bed?

INK: Cause that’s what’s on the card, keep up with me Miller.

MILLER: Uh… okay, uhm… I don’t know why he had handcuffs under his bed. He probably uses them with his girlfriend.

INK: Ah, yes, his girlfriend… Julia, right? Do you know who she is? Be honest Jace.

MILLER: No, I don’t… How do you know her name?

INK: You said it earlier.

MILLER: I did?

INK: Speaking of girlfriends, let’s talk about your love life for a bit.

MILLER: Oh man… Haha, be careful, I don’t wanna get in trouble with any of my exes.

INK: Let’s talk about your exes, actually. Do you have any on campus?

MILLER: Yeah… I’ve got a few.

INK: Have you been in love before?

MILLER: Yeah, a couple times… Probably shouldn’t have been though, with my track record, haha.

INK: And how would you define love?

MILLER: Fuck, haha. Uh… I guess it’s like… You know what it’s like? It’s like getting into a warm bathtub for the first time.

INK: Haha, alright, you gotta explain this one.

MILLER: Okay, so like, imagine if you just ran a bath, and you know when you dip your toe in, and it’s always way hotter than you expected? And you almost don’t wanna get in? But then, you do it and it ends up being the perfect temp and you almost melt into the water? It’s like that.

INK: That’s probably the most creative answer I’ve gotten to this question.

MILLER: Haha, sorry if it’s super out there. I just think it's so hard to define cause love feels different with every person. But when things fit, you get lost in it, and I think everyone can relate to that.

INK: So what sorts of things do you find most attractive about a girl? Physically and Emotionally?

MILLER: Haha, other than a nice ass?

INK: I mean if that’s what you really want your answer to be.

MILLER: Nah, I’m just kidding… I like a nice ass, but other than that, I really like legs. Emotionally, I’m into a girl with a sense of humor. Like if you don’t laugh at dumb jokes we aren’t gonna get along haha.

INK: What’s your ideal girl like?

MILLER: Okay, so I think this is gonna sound like a cop-out answer, but I’m being dead serious… I don’t have an ideal when I think about who I’ll end up with forever.

INK: That is totally a cop-out, Jace, come on…

MILLER: No seriously. Like, this might be really bad for me, but I think I fall really easily for girls, and it’s only after that, that I’m able to really pick out like, the things I like about her.

But I don’t have some set idea in my head about what would be perfect for me, cause it can come in so many different forms, or it could be something I don’t even know about. Like Sofia, she was really into yoga, and I thought that was really hot. But that doesn’t mean I think my ideal girl would be into yoga, or whatever. You know what I mean?

INK: I think so, you just find the beauty in it all, I suppose.

MILLER: Yeah, for sure!

INK: So going back to Sofia for a second… I’m assuming she wasn’t your first crush. Did you have a childhood crush? Like from a movie or a cartoon or something?

MILLER: Oh man, I don’t remember her name, but she was the little fairy that followed around Parker Pen in that animated kid's movie?

INK: Our readers would know her as Tinkerbell, but I think you’d know her as Fairychime?

MILLER: Yep, that’s it. I was very on and off with my crush on her though. Like, sometimes her attitude was cute, but other times I’d think she was way too mean for no reason.

INK: She’s an acquired taste for sure… How would you describe your ideal date?

MILLER: Every girl’s different, so I think it would have to change based on who she is and everything. But if everything were up to me, I think it would be really cool to hike Mount Cinnamon, and have a picnic up on the top, smoke, chill out to some music and then stay out and try to check out the stars.

INK: Aww, would this be a date with a girlfriend? Not a first date, I’m assuming?

MILLER: I mean, unless she’d be up for a hike for a first date… But I know a lot of girls get creeped out by that, and I get it, guys can be hella weird.

INK: You seem like a pretty casual guy though… What makes you decide to become serious with someone?

MILLER: Uh, I think I’m still trying to figure this one out haha.

I’ve like, accidentally ended up in legit relationships without realizing it, and I never have an issue with it, cause I like them a lot or whatever, but I guess I’m not good at saying like “Okay, we’ve had 3 dates, now I am going to ask that we’re exclusive, now it’s been 2 weeks, I’m going ask you to be my girlfriend.”

It just happens naturally, and one day they’re calling me their boyfriend, or I’m calling them my girlfriend… I dunno, it just happens. I don’t think about it.

INK: Do you prefer a steady relationship or flings?

MILLER: Relationships, for sure. Flings can get messy, and it’s probably my fault, cause I fall really hard, really fast, and don’t know how to talk about making things official, haha.

INK: That sounds like a fatal trait to have, I’m so sorry.

MILLER: Hey, it’s chill, haha. It’s not like you have anything to do with it.

INK: Oh boy… Okay, are you looking for a serious relationship anytime soon?

MILLER: I’m never looking for one, but if one develops, sure, that would be sweet.

INK: Would you say you’re a golden retriever boyfriend?

MILLER: You don’t know how many times I’ve heard that. I just hope people aren’t saying it like an insult or anything.

INK: No, I think it’s more just that you’re super positive and kinda have that fun-loving quality, I wouldn’t worry about it.

MILLER: Haha, alright, cool. Well, I guess in that case, yeah, I guess I am?

INK: What are your go-to pet names for your girlfriend? And what names do you like to be called?

MILLER: I think babe rolls off the tongue super easy for me, or baby. But I think it’s cute to come up with one specific to the person too. I like being called babe, or if they come up with something that would be chill.

INK: What are your thoughts on bro code?

MILLER: Uh, what part of it?

INK: Let’s say… the part about not sleeping with a girl your friend’s slept with already.

MILLER: Oh… Uh, well I think that makes sense. You wouldn’t wanna make things awkward in your friendship. Unless he like, specifically said it’s cool or something.

INK: Do you get jealous easily?

MILLER: I like to think I don’t, but I totally do, haha.

INK: How do you feel about cheating?

MILLER: Well, it definitely sucks to be cheated on, I can tell you that, haha.

INK: You’ve been cheated on?

MILLER: Yeah, I’ve had like… 7 girlfriends, and I think 4 of them cheated on me.

INK: That is a lot, wow. I’m so sorry Jace.

MILLER: Yeah, haha, I definitely think it's more than average. And it’s funny, cause like, most people would swear off love, or never trust people ever again after that, but if you don't trust people you can’t fall in love again. And I wouldn’t want that.

INK: Yeah, but 4 times is a lot, Jace… Your outlook on love is still pretty positive despite that.

MILLER: I've been kicked in the heart more times than I've been kicked in the shins on the field. But I believe in love, and you gotta get back up and keep going no matter how many times you’re knocked down.

INK: That’s a great perspective on it… Have you ever cheated before?

MILLER: Ah, man. Yeah, it was really dumb, and like… Obviously wouldn’t ever do it again.

INK: What happened?

MILLER: It was my second girlfriend. I was 16, went to this party with my friends, she wasn’t there and this other girl was flirting with me. I ended up hooking up with her. And the really shitty part about it was that it was Valentine’s day the next day.

INK: Wow… Yeah, that is… Yikes.

MILLER: I know, I know. I hate thinking about it. I waited to tell her after Valentine’s day cause I thought it would be better, but obviously she was like, super heartbroken and just… Yeah. I was stupid. Haven’t cheated since, never gonna do that again, I feel shitty even talking about it.

INK: Have you considered open relationships? Are you into them at all?

MILLER: I guess if I ever figure out how to like, talk about it, probably not? Like I said, I think it’s easier if I just know you’re my girl. Like, I’m more secure?

INK: What would you say is your relationship dealbreaker?

MILLER: If we get to a point where you meet my mom, and you treat her differently, or like, talk down to her or whatever, then we can’t be together. That tells me everything I need to know about how you treat people.

INK: Interesting, so let’s take things out of the hypothetical for a moment… Do you currently have a crush on anyone?

MILLER: Yeah… I definitely do, haha.

INK: And is this just a crush, or do you have feelings for her? Can you see yourself falling for her?

MILLER: I think I have feelings for her, yeah. And if you mean falling for her as in falling in love, like… I’m not there yet, but I can see it in the future, for sure.

INK: What was your first thought when you saw her?

MILLER: So I actually saw her on the quad the first day of classes. I noticed her cause she was doing this cute, like, hop-skip thing when she was going up the hill. But the next day, she lent me a dollar at the campus store, and I saw her up close. She has a great laugh, and pretty eyes and just looked cozy sipping her tea. I dunno, when I think of her, I think of cute and cozy and warm. I wanna be around that.

INK: What would you say you like about her the most?

MILLER: She’s real. Like, she’s not caught up in all the money and bullshit that everyone else on campus is tied up in. She’s herself and not putting on an act, you know?

INK: Yeah. Earlier you said you had feelings for her, what kind of feelings? Could you describe them?

MILLER: I dunno, I like her…. A lot. And I really don’t wanna fuck things up.

INK: So what is she to you right now? Friends with benefits/fuck buddies?

MILLER: I hate using those words, cause it feels like more than that to me right now. Like, yeah, we fuck and it’s awesome, but I don’t just want that with her. I guess I just gotta get over myself and ask directly, haha.

INK: Do you think if you guys did get into a relationship it would last?

MILLER: I mean, I hope so, haha. I don’t think she’d be the type to cheat, and I know I won’t. And I really don’t think she’d be weird around my mom or anything. So, yeah, I think we’d last.

INK: Would it bother you if she was also seeing other people besides you right now?

MILLER: Honestly? Yeah. But I can’t get mad at her or anything about it, cause we haven’t really talked about being exclusive or anything.

INK: So, just to be clear, you aren’t seeing anyone else right now?

MILLER: No, just her.

INK: How would you feel if Shaun were also into your crush?

MILLER: Not good, haha. Uh, I’d hope he wouldn’t like, act on it or anything, 'cause I wouldn’t do that to him if he were hooking up with someone and I were into them too.

INK: What if your crush was also hooking up with someone… Very dangerous, let's say?

MILLER: I’ll be honest, I don’t like to think about her with other guys… Can we skip this one?

INK: Sure, just one last follow-up on this topic here. Would you be okay with being in a polyamorous relationship if it were with your crush and another person?

MILLER: Where are you getting these questions from? Haha.

INK: They’re just hypotheticals!

MILLER: Uh, okay, so my gut is saying no to that. Cause I can get really jealous, and competitive and I think I’d honestly ruin things. But, I guess I could try it out if she really really wanted it and like, it really made her happy. But my gut reaction is no, probably wouldn’t work out…

INK: It’s okay to say no, Jace. Having preferences isn’t a crime, haha.

MILLER: I know, I just wouldn’t want her to be like, upset with me if that were a deal breaker. I really like her, and wouldn’t wanna at least give it a shot first.

INK: Okay, that’s fair… Let’s see, ah, alright, How often do you jerk off?

MILLER: What? Haha, are you serious?

INK: I am, yes. I’m running a serious publication, here. Please answer the question.

MILLER: Whoa, hold on… Publication? What kinda interview is this?

INK: Jason, sweetheart, I am both amazed and terrified that it took you this long to question what the hell you’re doing here. You’ve really gotta work on that whole trust thing, you do it way too easily.

MILLER: Why would I question any of this? It looks legit.

INK: I put up a poster that said ‘FREE PIZZA - Come to this address and leave your phone at home.’ And you showed up a half hour I put it up… Not one alarm bell went off in that pretty little head of yours?

MILLER: I just thought it was one of those student research projects, I do those all the time for pocket money… But I guess that’s not what this is?

INK: No, it’s not…

MILLER: Then what is this?

INK: [mumbles] It’s too easy

MILLER: Huh?

INK: Jace, I was kidding, this is a student research project, and I was just testing you before. You passed, congrats.

MILLER: Oh… Cool.

INK: Yeah, the next portion of the interview will be a lot shorter and delve into some more personal sexual questions. Are you alright with that?

MILLER: Uh, you said this was a publication, so like… Will all this be published somewhere?

INK: …No.

MILLER: Oh okay, sweet. Then… Yeah sure, ask away!

INK: Great, so how often do you jerk off when you’re single? And when you’re not single?

MILLER: Oh... Right, uh, so I guess I jerk off once a day when I’m single. And then like, maybe 2 times a week if I’m not. Depends on how often we see each other.

INK: Are you into daddy kink?

MILLER: What, like being called daddy?

INK: Uhuh.

MILLER: I don’t think so. I had an ex who was really into that, but it creeped me out. So yeah… No.

INK: Did you tell her that you weren’t into it?

MILLER: Haha, no, I didn’t know how to. She ended up cheating on me anyways, so like, obviously not a relationship meant to last. But definitely something I gotta work on.

INK: Yeah, definitely gotta speak up… Do you have any kinks that you’re into? Any weird ones?

MILLER: I don’t think it’s really a kink, but like, if I can make her smile or laugh while we’re fucking, that really gets me going. I guess that could be weird?

INK: I am not here to yuck your yum. Personally, I think that's super cute.

MILLER: Haha, thanks.

INK: What's the quickest way to turn you on?

MILLER: Oh that’s easy, if she kisses my neck, I’m done for, haha.

INK: Do you like the thought of “risky” sex?

MILLER: Like, without a condom?

INK: Yeah.

MILLER: You said this wasn’t being published, right? Cause my mom would have a heart attack reading any of this, haha.

INK: No worries, this will just stay between me and you.

MILLER: Okay, cool… Uh, so yeah. I like the thought of risky sex, like a lot. Obviously, I’m not trying to get anyone pregnant right now or spread anything… I stay up to date with my testing and stuff. But there’s nothing like that feeling, and just like, being natural and… you know.

INK: Cumming in someone?

MILLER: Yeah, exactly, that. Probably one of the best feelings in the world… But obviously, can’t do that all the time, it’s called risky for a reason, haha. So I guess that’s another kink I’m into?

INK: Are you into dacryphilia?

MILLER: I don’t even know what that is…

INK: Apparently it’s being turned on by people crying or sobbing.

MILLER: Oh, hell no. That’s like, a huge turn-off, there’s no way I could stay hard if I know she’s crying. I’d be freaking out.

INK: Makes sense, especially since it seems like you have the total opposite kink, in seeing people smile and laugh…

MILLER: Right, exactly.

INK: Do you enjoy anal?

MILLER: I know a lot of guys have given me shit for this-

INK: Ha! Nice pun!

MILLER: Haha, look at that! But yeah, I actually don’t enjoy it. I tried it once with an ex and hate the mess. Totally not worth it.

INK: Opinions on pegging?

MILLER: Oh, wow… Uh, I’ve never tried it. Never really thought about it… I guess if she really really wanted to try we could start with like a pinky or something, and see. But I’m not in any rush to go straight to dildos or whatever.

INK: Do you prefer a woman taking the lead or do you like to be more dominant in the bedroom?

MILLER: I think I naturally take the lead more, but if she wanted to try switching it up, I’d be down to see what that’s about.

INK: Ass, titties, thighs, or eyes?

MILLER: Ooh, that's probably the hardest question you’ve asked all night… I gotta choose only one?

INK: Yup!

MILLER: Okay, I guess ass… Thighs come at a close second though.

INK: Tell me about your favorite sexual experience so far?

MILLER: Okay, I have two. One of them is the most memorable, the other is more like my favorite or whatever…

But the first one was actually my first time. It was on that trip I told you about with my family in Hawaii. So I was 13, and I think it was like a day or two after I smoked for the first time. I was feeling like this big man on campus, and really thought I was like a badass or something.

So there was this girl I was crushing on that I think was the daughter of the hotel owner or something? I don’t know I just know she was always at the resort we were at. She was Hawaiian and I thought she was like, gonna be my wife someday, I was an idiot.

Anyways, it was the last day we were there, and we all went to this luau. And I remember that day was fucking hot, like, even now, I cannot tell you I’ve lived through a hotter day than that.

My mom was bugging me all day about drinking water and keeping a bottle with me, but I was too cool to listen to her so I didn’t.

So it’s hot as balls, we’re at this luau.

I’m feeling myself and I finally work up the courage to talk to this girl, and before I know it, she’s like, let’s go hang out in my dad’s car, 'cause no one will bother us there. Of course, I say let’s go. So we get there, we do it, and I was terrible, like, lasted 10 seconds.

But the thing is, we were making out in this tiny ass car, no windows open, no A/C. I hadn’t had water all day… So it’s fogged up, crazy hot in there, and I remember just after I nut, I pass out.

INK: No…

MILLER: Yeah, like, full on, pass out from heatstroke. She freaked out and just left me. The owner or manager or whatever ended up finding me with the condom still on my dick and like, totally out of it.

I had to go to the ER, and my dad was pissed because we had to stay a day later than planned and it was this whole mess, but I think it’s funny as hell and I’ll never forget it.

INK: Definitely memorable… But like, also, why did that girl just leave you like that? Like, what if you died?

MILLER: I dunno, she was like, 14 or 13, I honestly probably would’ve freaked out and done the same thing at that age.

INK: Okay, and what about your other favorite sexual experience?

MILLER: This is probably super biased because it's with my current crush, but I made her- Wait, I can be like, explicit right?

INK: Yeah, I sure have, there’s no reason you shouldn’t.

MILLER: Hah, okay. Yeah, so I made her squirt, but not just that, like, it happened while I was in her. I’d never had that happen before and that was so hot.

INK: Spank bank material?

MILLER: Oh yeah, I keep thinking about when I’ll be able to do that again, 'cause that was amazing.

INK: Have you ever had a threesome? And if not, do you think you would like it?

MILLER: No, never had one. That’s a hard question… At first, I’d say yeah, but I think about it more, and then I’m not so sure.

I guess it just depends on who’s involved. Cause I think I’d get really selfish if it were like, my crush and another guy or something. But if it's just a hookup? Maybe? I dunno.

INK: Last question. Tell me about the craziest place you’ve had sex?

MILLER: Other than the car of a hotel manager in Hawaii? Hmm… Probably under the bleachers after a game. Done that a few times actually, haha.

INK: Is it a favorite of yours?

MILLER: I wouldn’t say it's a favorite, I think it just happens naturally cause I’m usually really pumped up after a game and if I’m hooking up with someone and they come and watch I kinda just wanna, you know, go for it. So… Yeah.

INK: That tracks. Well, Jace, you’ve made it to the other end of this interview, how do you feel?

MILLER: Full, haha. That Bernie guy was on it with those pizzas.

INK: He’s a great provider, I agree. Well, I’ll have him get you back to campus, I’m sure that full stomach has made you mighty tired.

MILLER: Yeah, a nap would be sweet…

INK: Well you get your rest, and again, thank you for your time and honesty!

MILLER: Thanks for the food. See ya!

_

This interview was by far the easiest to conduct. With such a trusting, naive, and open subject, I was able to ask questions and receive honest answers my readers want to hear. If only all of journalism came this easily…

Thank you to all who have read this interview, and until next time!

Pretty Ink

Other interviews in this series:

Gabe

Jay