Let's Talk About Boundaries

Every social media platform has different purposes, demographics, and vibes. The precedent you set in your online presence is —a privilege notwithstanding, ultimately it's up to you.

As an example, I would never go 'full-on horny' on main without potentially bringing in people who will make me feel very uncomfortable. My branding, while its sexy pinups has it’s own set of boundaries.

What is a boundary? To put it simply, a boundary is something YOU DO NOT WANT someone to do in a conversation /interaction with you. So when someone breaks those boundaries, you tell your a person , "Hey, don't do that. I don't like it." Boundaries is setting a line you won't let people cross - but you prevent that by controlling that yourself first. You remove yourself from the situation if the boundary is crossed.

I remain fairly true to myself, and in a precarious space like Twitter, that can be rather hard to do, because there are certain images and ideas that I should not place on the feeds of all my followers. For example, I don't show full nudity art on there, nor do I like/rt explicit porn so my followers won’t see that. That is my boundary.

I while I don't expect everyone to agree with everything I post, and I sometimes feel bad for throwing in certain types of content or sharing my 'shower-thoughts' on my private accounts, or even on main.

Twitter is not that great for sharing your thoughts for many reasons I can't get into, but one thing it’s good at is being a multifaceted space. I can build a clientele or great mutual connections, but I can also get attacked by an immature young early 20-something adult for my expressed thoughts. I can make in-jokes with other artists, and I can also tweet to people about snitties being awesome. (I know you believe that!)

Twitter is a chaos machine that is absolutely destructive, but it still has plenty of goodness. Since all I can do is accept that my fanbase is mostly self-curating. Only people who tolerate my personality and not just my art tend to stick around long term.

The obvious solution to this online issue, especially in regards to setting more clear-set boundaries seems to be me separating professional from personal interactions online.

Seems fair, doesn't it? I already have a business only like-page on Facebook that is completely different from my personal online pages or Twitter. I don't carry conversations with fb followes like I do on twitter or discord. Which makes the lines for boundaries blurry for some.

I also mentioned I have a private Twitter account-- mostly for shower thoughts. Sexy selfies, and venting. And My Patreon, for all of you here, you see what I post online first, depending on the tier, with more content + access to my discord as well as hidden nsfw discord channels for subscribers. Essentially you all have more of a peek into my art -and what I’m willing to share from my life. 

Both of these Private or paywalled accounts are for anything I want to post, Twitter/Discord has venting to lewds to eccentric interests I wouldn't readily share with the public.  As stated, these are all locked, (privated). My AD (after dark) Twitter account was born from my earliest thought of separating my business and personal accounts, sharing the real parts of myself that were always there but always hidden. The locked away but controlled spaces like this gave me practice in trusting others in a way. Eventually, I shared this part of me with my discord members as well. Essentially where I felt anyone supporting my art monetarily would be the kind of people I could trust.

And I think, for the most part, that I am correct to extend this trust.

The first person to break my personal boundaries after accessing my private twitter was my first repeat-client who I once enjoyed working with for over a decade. But one day, he got angry with me after I told him to please stop dming me constantly. This was when I shut down my dms, they used to be open to anyone. I wanted my privacy and not expected to respond or fulfill needs/requests on someone's whim. He told me he thought I was his friend for many years and thus disappointed in me, so he blocked me after I drew this boundary. We were never friends. Just professional acquaintances. 

No regrets for this. But it's one of the few negative things I wished I had never experienced with my small list of trusted people on my private twitter and, one by having some of those few demanding 24/7 constant access to me.

This definitely wasn't the first time something like this has happened to me. I had several people throughout the years demand that I be their 'dancing art-monkey' by drawing what they wanted, when they want it. Some people were using me as their personal free-therapist, having 24/7 direct access to my attention, as well as some demanding why I didn't respond in a timely manner, or at all. I didn’t have anything new to learn from all that happening, just that it fucking sucked.

It sucked when people expected me to respond quickly to their dms, to entertain their endless (commission) ideas, as well as fixing/listening to their mental health issues/trauma dumping without prompting. Constant requests for small talk. Asking if the art is done or not, nudging/pressuring me to 'work quicker' etc.

After my boundaries were broken like this, I was happy to shut down dms to get to finally breathe and have more privacy. My Patreon, AD twitter and discord while small/intimate compared to a large communal holds of my mutuals, paying clients, subscribers and the like with locked private channels on discord.

Just because one has access to either of these more intimate spaces of mine does not entitle one to constant one-on-ones with me, small talk, nudging me to make art to your exact liking snd the way you like it, for me to work quicker on content, "did you start on it yet" 'is it finished yet?", To expect me to do all of this just because you paid a subscription to me is quite absurd. Rude as well.

Creating art isn’t easy, I'm only one person wearing many hats and I get paid for very few of them. My art is a labor of love and sometimes stess and pain. There is no need to make demands from me on how I should create and when. Doing so breaks my boundaries. On Patreon we have polls, we also have community input. Remember that I am NOT an art machine. I am not an ai art generator. I'm not e621. I cannot spit art content out that fast. Because I'm a human being.

I'll be frank and say that I’m tired of feeling my boundaries getting broken by those that come into my spaces. These days, it's far more difficult to ever imagine true privacy and full respect towards artists and their time. So please be more respectful of mine. Thank you for listening.

-Anna