Ben Blog [$5+ Tier Reward!]
Added 2021-03-28 13:00:00 +0000 UTCHaven't blogged in a while, so I thought I'd treat my monkeys to a bit of a word ramble, eh?
I'm currently writing this from my couch, computer in my lap, listening to rain pour outside. I've got a fire burning and a dog under a blanket in front of it. It couldn't be more picturesque if I'd staged it.
Having voice problems like I'm having, I've had to do a lot of thinking, a lot of evaluating. Is this sustainable long-term? Do I need an exit strategy, a plan B? Do I need to begin finding a way to replace my Youtube income? It's a scary place to be, and it's been a heavy burden on my shoulders. Health problems have a way of working themselves out in time, as I'm sure mine will, but when you're in the midst of them, they feel permanent... they feel like the boss.
Have you ever had a problem that just wouldn't go away as fast as you'd like? Did it eventually get better? How did you cope? Let's talk and encourage each other in the comment section. :D
I had a weird dream last night. I dreamed that some hacker found out my IRL identity and posted it all over twitter, haha! Everyone knew my face, my name, and they started going to my IRL social media and telling all my friends what I do in my spare time. The worries of an anonymous ASMRtist! XD
It took me four years before I ever told anyone about this channel. I finally told my family about it, not sure if they would think I was crazy or not. They thought it was the COOLEST thing ever. My mum texts me sometimes and says "XYZ audio is so cool! You're so good!" It is the weirdest feeling to know your mother is listening to your audios. Obviously not for the same reason YOU GUYS listen to them, she's just being a proud mum. But it's still super weird. My brother is a struggling actor, and has not yet hit a stride in life where he makes good money with his work, so I never wanted to tell him that I (the NON ACTOR in the family) make a really decent living acting.
But, conversation happened naturally one night over pizza, and I told him. He just looked at me and said, "I hate you". XD He was joking, but kind of not joking at the same time. Little brother complex, always feeling like I get the upperhand in life. But he thinks what I do is pretty cool. He listens to my audios and gives me acting tips, looooves telling me what I'm doing wrong, haha.
Anyway, guess I'd better go do some other productive stuff. Makes me feel sane. Love you guys, take care and be kind to one another! -B
Comments
I love yβall so much, DONT FORGOT IT!!!!!!!!β€οΈ
2021-06-26 23:57:47 +0000 UTCHaha very!
2021-03-31 12:05:12 +0000 UTCWhen your voice gets better, why don't you ask your brother to collaborate with you on an audio? That could be interesting. π
2021-03-31 02:37:32 +0000 UTCThank you so much for sharing your story with me. And thank you for being here!! Yes, all hard things have to end some time, some way. We just have to take it a day at a time
2021-03-31 01:16:32 +0000 UTCUgh, I hit the post button too fast! I just wanted to conclude with-I believe in you and your art. You are, to date, a successful independent artist. You can do this.
Kusymre
2021-03-29 20:15:33 +0000 UTCHi Ben, I'm a new fan, but I just wanted to throw my two cents in. I love your work, it makes me feel like I'm wrapped up in an aural bear hug. I believe whatever decision you make will be the right one for you, and we (your fans) will continue to support your efforts. I'm an 8 year cancer survivor, so I understand that medical issues can be overwhelming when you're going through it. I was able to get through it by remembering there would be an end to it, no matter what that looked like, and I was doing everything in my power to stay healthy
Kusymre
2021-03-29 20:12:43 +0000 UTCIβm glad you have a good creative outlet! And yes, pets for the dog!
2021-03-28 19:52:37 +0000 UTCMy dog is getting all the pets today thanks to the tribe!
2021-03-28 19:51:57 +0000 UTCThank you very much!
2021-03-28 19:51:09 +0000 UTCI hope you get well real soon and your worries will subside. It's a terrible thing to feel uncertain about what the future holds, I know. Sending lots of love and good thoughts your way β€β€
Red Star
2021-03-28 17:17:48 +0000 UTCThat sounds like a nice scene from a movie. Cuddling with dogs are the best thing in the world. (It's not because I am bias and own a dog myself. It's just a fact.) I am sorry that it's been rough for you lately. Medical issues really are annoying as ever. Especially when it feels there's not much you can do about it. All, I can suggest is be truthful to yourself and any doctors that you're seeing. As well as trying to take things a day at a time. (When it's happening to me with my Crohns, I try to find things I like to do that won't aggravate it. Like drawing or playing games. And just wait it out.) I am glad that your family is supportive of you. That really is nice. But I'm sorry about the dream you had, thankfully it was a just a dream. I hope you have a great day, evening or night. And please, pet your dog for me! Thank you!
Chantelle Millard
2021-03-28 16:21:48 +0000 UTCDefinitely a belly rub for the boi!
2021-03-28 15:28:36 +0000 UTCAll the boops and scratches!
2021-03-28 15:28:06 +0000 UTCI like the rambles! Definitely a good idea! :D please give your dog lots of pats for me, I love dogs itβs a curse even with my own. I can definitely relate with having a bad patch with your health and feeling like it wonβt go away, suffering from arthritis myself I get those bad patches. But I like to try convince myself itβll be over soon, I just need to keep pushing forward, no matter how hard it gets! I also like to write a lot during it, even if itβs just a small prompt! :) Happy Sunday to you and everyone else here! π±
2021-03-28 14:21:09 +0000 UTCMy current living situation is one problem that's just not going away as fast as I'd like it to. I have a plan, now I just need time to go by a little faster. So I fill my time with things that make me happy to not fall into a hole I so desperately tried my best to crawl out of. Love the idea of these blog posts/rambles! It's pretty damn neato to see a glimpse of the person behind the audios. Those dreams are.....eeeeesh x.x but I'm so happy your family is so supportive, even if the little bro is having some fun giving you the tiniest bit of loving grief. I have two younger siblings, I feel ya on that one. All the best wishes to you and many boops and scritches to the doggo!
Andrea C
2021-03-28 13:51:11 +0000 UTC
