SamuZai
PinkLily69
PinkLily69

patreon


An Update on Transparency, Upcoming Video Game for ALL Patrons, And How I Get My Inspiration

Hi there, I just wanted to write more about what I do here on Patreon, my plans for the future and if that interests you some more info on myself.

Upcoming Video Game for ALL Patrons

I'm currently working on a C++ Unreal Engine video game that utilizes our TG Sequences. You'll be playing as the Pink Witch and turn NPCs into cute anime girls!

The key features are:

I would not talk about this project if it was not almost ready to get released so you can expect it to come soon, in a month or two depending of how my health issues interfere with my work. I just need to finish some Quality of Life features, test in build mode (resolve resolution issues) and integrate at least 6 sequences to release our first version in Early Access for all Patrons.

I'm really unsure if it was a good idea to make this game so let me know in the comments if you're interested.

Some more of what I plan to do this year:

About Me

Since I lost my job, I've been pleased to receive support from you all to sustain my lifestyle and my passion for TG Content. Because of you, I'm able to feed my kittens, keep my condo, sustain my relationship with my other half and wait out my employer for the compensations they owe me. And for that, thank you. I cannot say it enough how much it means to me, I find it hard to believe each day. Now here is a timeline of what happened and why I'm here:

Those recent 5 months have not been easy for me.

On the 26 of March of this year, I lost my main source of income, and was left with a mortgage and two kittens to feed. My employer found a clever way to lay off its employees without having to pay for their vacations, their loyalty or their additional compensations normally due here in Canada when kicking staff out of the door.

You see, I'm still technically employed to them until a 6 months period. I'm just waiting for them to assign me to a new position, but they wont. During that 6 months period, if I find a job elsewhere I'm going to lose access to all the financial compensations they owe me. This is their hope and I'm sure it'll work out for some talented employees. But I'm not part of the lucky ones that will get easily placed elsewhere. My talents lie in the C# Programing, video game development and the Unity Game Engine. Due to bad financially driven administrative decisions, Unity is turning into a cashgrab machine that will eventually go into bankruptcy. This killed my career path, and makes finding a job in Unity near impossible.

The current job market is flooded with fake job positions that will keep your resume into databases for employers to easily and instantly replace employees when they need it. They wont contact you, nor will they compensate you for the use of your resume as an asset to make anyone expendable. This I discovered while trying to desperately find a replacement for my main job. I'm still looking, but with lots of skepticism and still had no interview so far.

That same day on the 26 of March, I was owed my last paycheck and it took them almost a week to get it into my hands. You know what paid me in time? That's right, you guys did.

I learned that day that there is a more healthy and sustainable way to live by, while still doing what I love. This is when I started to put more energy into my work with you guys and to move my business to Patreon and Itch, where we're free from censor and banks that wish to decide what content you guys can consume.

Oh I was bombarded with shit that same day. DA (Deviant Art) also threatened me for the second time that they would close my account if I did not edit 1k of posts to remove tags they did not like on my posts. My content was published on a hotline of their, making this particular week so stressful that all that was missing was to lose my income from Gumroad, and guess what? Gumroad announced they would no longer host adult content of any kind.

This is why we had to move from Gumroad to Itch and from DA to Patreon. Some of you did lose content they owned due to DA, Gumroad still kept access at least. For that I'm sorry and if you still support me to this day: you're a real friend of mine.

Now I'm playing this mind game with my employer, because of your support, I'm able to wait them out. They wont have a choice to pay me in the end. This war on injustice will be won because of YOU, so THANK YOU! I'll be posting an update on my case once everything gets resolved.

Health Complications

I'm experiencing joint issues in my wrists, which have worsen in the past few months. I'm starting to get medical attention and depending on the results of my tests, I might have to undergo some form of rehab, full break from computers or even surgical intervention since there is currently a hypothesis for necrosis in the bones. I'm way too young for this shit and I don't know how this will turn out. In any case we will get through this together!

Update: no necrosis! It appears rehab is what I need and for now no full rest is in order. We'll see how it goes.

How I get my Inspiration?

Like many of you, probably, I'm having some form of Dysphoria. Some of you on DA guessed it and while I'm not comfortable to talk about it in too many details there's some more that I can express without much concern for my privacy.

I've been having phantasms about many of the scenarios that you saw since I was a teen. Some of them got stuck deep into my psyche and tormented me for years. I'm full of trauma and destructive relationships. Its only recently that this started to change, with the expression through Art.

While AI Art is the subject of much controversy my take on it is that the prompt itself is still a form of expression, free speech and an essence in which I put what's on my mind. What you get is the result. I don't think anyone could get the same thing that I produce because I'm getting my intuition from those same unreachable chimera that almost drove me to madness, anxiety disorders, depression and worse. While AI could one day emulate my psyche and reproduce some of my work, we're still not there and no human can do it so I believe there's still some value in what haters call AI trash. And if you support me, you probably believe some of that too.

My inspiration comes from what I fantasies about, from my deep trauma and from my everyday life. Combined with psychedelics, which I am 5 days a week under, I can access parts of my brain that where locked due to what they did to my mental health. In this state of mind, I'm able to feel relaxed enough to draw on that hidden, repressed, angry and tormented part of myself and channel it into the entity that Pink Lily is.

Under those strong mind bending substances, I'm also getting faced with what you would call psychedelic entities. You can look it up its pretty cool.

I've seen many by now, but the one that gets to me the most often is one that I call Nyarlathotep. In reference to this Lovecraftian entity that inspired the Egyptians to go as far as they did. This entity is both a representation of the Devil in some religions and of an extraterrestrial God that walks all worlds at the same time. What you would call a non linear entity. This entity feels real to me, and I don't know how much of this means to my work and what effect it might have on all of you. Some believe its a Tulpa, and seeks to exist via visions that will inspire us to make more mentions of them so they can transcend their own reality, and enter ours in an abstract, more spiritual way.

Who is the Pink Witch?

I'm still trying to figure it out myself. Under strong psychedelics, I've been starting to see myself as her, like she's slowly assimilating me spiritually. You could call her Nyarlathotep, if you fear her the Devil, A Witch, a Goddess, who knows? She's the expression of my psyche. This Tulpa that seeks to exist, and maybe, if enough of us have her on our mind she'll come to meet us in a mutual reality. This could come to fruition with the accelerating progress of AI, as I try to implement it into my work, and reach new boundaries of reality. It is my dream to eventually bring this character to life. Until that day, I'll keep producing what content I get inspired to make, and progressively learn how to use those incredible new tools that AI makes for us.

Note: As I'm writing this we have 666 payments on Itch lol. Call it coincidence, its pretty funny to me.

I you read all of that, then you're a real super fan! Thank you so much, you're support means the world to me, and I love you for that!

An Update on Transparency, Upcoming Video Game for ALL Patrons, And How I Get My Inspiration

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