Devil's consultancy 20

According to the plan, this would be the point where Beast Boy shows up as a small garden snake and delivers the sunlight potion to the kryptonians. As Beast Boy was not here, and the Thanagarians were on far greater of an alert than planned for due to Rhine’s failure to win in the air, hewing to this plan was no longer tenable. They didn’t even need the detailed directions to the prison level. 

The good news was that Rhine was now in a pretty good position, hidden in the darkness within Batman’s cloak. There were two Thanagarians searching for them, one that was guarding the prisoners and the one that had dragged them back here. The bad news was that one of them had noticed John eyeing Batman and was now doing the same. 

Batman’s restraints were some kind of Nth metal alloy, smart if Shayera had listed him as a ‘warlock’. So they couldn’t simply spell them apart. But their pocket dimension was good for more than just holding magic items… 

whirrrr “Hey, stop that!” Shouted the Thanagarian warrior as the diamond-edged saw cut the restraints away. 

Rhine whistled as they worked, the magic of demon translation automatically conveying the tune as part of an anime opening song they had started watching recently as part of the usual ‘watch a few age-appropriate shows’ cover-building that was probably unnecessary by now but they kept at it anyway. “Ōkiku nattara nani ni naritai? Ryōte ni ippai zenbu yaritai!” They knew from testing that it could be very distracting to force someone to understand multiple levels of the innate translation magic at the same time. Batman understood Japanese, so it wouldn’t be a problem for him. 

“Stop that too!” The Thanagarian warrior warned, but he was powerless to stop them: Batman was contained inside a cell, and Rhine was inside it. He could not stop them without opening the cell, as Batman wasn’t in a cell that had special measures beyond the restraints. “The Prisoners are trying to escape! We need more warriors!” He shouted into his communicator. 

“We’re a bit tied up from the other invaders, Orel!” Came from his wrist. “Fight them yourself.”

Rhine passed Batman a fresh utility belt that they kept stored away for just this sort of situation. “Release Diana next.” He instructed, and took out a shaped charge to shatter the transparent crystal of his prison. 

“Protecting the planet and Gotham too, The Dark Knight rides forth anew!” Rhine intoned, pumping magical power into Batman’s legend to increase his speed and strength. Ignoring John’s exclamation of surprise at them finally revealing one of their tricks, Rhine burst forth, still in a shadowy state from Erebus’ blessing, and slipped into Diana’s prison. 

Orel, the Thanagarian warrior, and his still-unnamed buddy tried to intercept them, of course, but a well-placed batarang tripped Orel up and Batman kicked him into his fellow, buying the second and a half necessary to traverse the distance. 

Now, as Diana was tied up with her own lasso, this meant Rhine didn’t have to worry about Nth metal bindings. Unfortunately, it was still a divine artifact, so they couldn’t affect it directly anyway. It did, however, mean that they could untie the knots with their bare hands. “I was a soldier, a scout I was not, but the whispers of death will help me knot!” With a surge of mana from their excellent pun, Rhine’s fingers were guided in just the right way to undo the complex Thanagarian knots. 

“Good work!” Diana said as she used a single motion to undo the rest of the knots and coil the rope. How the heck did she do that? Nevertheless, Rhine produced the Artemis-blessed bow and handed it over. “The Gods are with us on this day!” Diana said joyously, the blessing spreading through her muscles visibly. “For the Glory of Artemis!” She shouted, an arrow of moonlight appearing in her hands and shattering both her prison and most of the others. 

Flash, Superman, and J’onn were all still rather disoriented/sore from their methods of being imprisoned, and Dr. Fate was still restrained, but John and Green Arrow both launched themselves into the action, not letting silly things like ‘not having weapons’ stop them from contributing. “Hey Diana? Can I borrow that?” Green Arrow asked. 

“Artemis wouldn’t approve.” Diana replied simply, firing a few other moonlight arrows to strike the wings of the unnamed Thanagarian. “She doesn’t like you.”

“What? Why not?” Green Arrow asked, offended as he treated Orel as a punching bag, the warrior held still by Batman and John. “Is it the beard?”

“It is the beard.” Diana confirmed. 

With both enemies downed, Batman hacked the door and opened it up, revealing a chaotic battlefield right in the next room, with Static locking down eight warriors while Cyborg and Gear teamed up on one and Beast Boy, in the form of an anaconda, squeezed another. Robin was using his escrima sticks to duel one that had a sword. . 

“Beast Boy, come here! Superman is near!” Rhine shouted, and the anaconda turned into a rabbit which bolted between Batman’s legs. 

“I got it!” He shouted, turning back into his human form with the shining liquid in his hand. 

“Drink it quick, half will do the trick.” Rhine said, taking the potion and removing the cork. Superman insisted that Supergirl go first, and after carefully drinking about half of it, she passed to her cousin and he drank it all in one gulp. 

The Kryptonians had their skin flush with vitality under the influence of Apollo’s blessing, and… well, Rhine was too busy evacuating everyone to actually see the two of them tear the prison ship apart and tie up all of the Thanagarians. 

Unfortunately, there really wasn’t a place to really put them, so they were disarmed of their Nth metal equipment and placed on top of a particularly small mountain with a communication device they can use to arrange pickup for themselves. 

Time to regroup. Unfortunately, the Batplane did not survive the battle. Fortunately, Etrigan was able to recover from his own Nth metal beatdown and teleported back to Gotham, using the same cooperative magic to bring everyone else back along too. Convenient, because it meant Rhine didn’t need to do the same for the Batcave. It was also convenient that the anti-magic properties of Nth metal required energizing it, so the equipment could be transported without issue. 

Despite this success, the Thanagarian occupation was not defeated just because they had a prison break. Etrigan insisted they leave, so as the Watchtower had been taken over by the Thanagarians once they noticed that it was not as locked down as they thought, the non-adult participants in the rescue were sent to rest in the Belfry, while the actual members split up and were each given a safehouse address to use for, hopefully, sleeping. 

Rhine teleported Batman, Robin, Alfred, and their new stockpile of Nth metal equipment back home, of course. It was nearly morning, and it was a stressful time, so despite needing to strain themselves to complete the spell after teleporting so much halfway to the other side of the world, Rhine simply turned back into Tanya, and just let herself pass out. 

-----------------------

As she had expected, Tanya woke back up in her room, the room decorated somewhat sparsely but still enough to be clear that it was occupied by a seven year old girl, posters of magical girls, figure skaters, and a floral wallpaper decorating the walls. She guessed that Alfred was the one to dress her for bed, as Bruce tended to hesitate suggesting she wear the upscaled baby clothes that she initially wore when she reached this size, so he wouldn’t have picked the onesie that was modeled after that orange chicken she had chosen as her starting pet in that game she was playing at the time. She liked it anyway; the tiny wings were translated into an exceptionally fluffy collar. 

Yawning, she went to her desk (walking around her Lego 1/160th scale model of the Tokyo Tower, which was about 80% complete) and looked through her homeschooling schedule. Ah, she did have stuff to do this morning. Alfred would definitely understand if she delayed due to the whole alien invasion thing, but… it wouldn’t take very long, so she should probably do it anyway. 

She was currently using high school level materials, as she had slowed down a bit after Gotham Academy’s inquiry as to her progress. This slowdown coincided with an increase in difficulty of the material, so it wasn’t particularly suspicious. Still, faked timesheets or not, she had to actually do the work. Fortunately, today was math, so she didn’t need to focus much to get it done, most of the work was mindlessly transcribing the approved method of demonstrating each required step, which removed any possibility that she’d need to put effort into it. As such, she also booted up her computer and checked her email. 

Ah, Bruce has sent an email about the situation to the Justice League members. Usually, she’d get the info from him directly, as he has a tendency to hold back his less certain data points and speculations when informing the League. Is he available… Tanya opened up the Run program and input the memorized executable that’s hidden from the normal file navigation program. Ah. The Batcomputer’s active with Bruce’s credentials, and there’s no security flags raised, so… She quickly closed her window blinds just in case and sent the call request. Tch. She needs to bathe, her hair is so tangled… 

Oh, Alfred refilled the snack drawer! Awesome. As she didn’t issue the communication as urgent, Bruce would need to manually reply, so she had time to open up one of the single serving bags of banana chips and start eating one before the call connected fully and she could see the Batcave. 

“G’morning, Daddy!” Tanya said, inserting a little more cheer than she felt into her greeting. 

“Princess, it’s three in the afternoon.” Bruce said, clearly amused. He was wearing his Batman suit, but with the cowl down. She hoped he slept… 

“Whose fault is that?” Tanya asked rhetorically. “Do you think I like herding superhumans? Entreating with self-proclaimed gods? I got hit in the head with a mace! Do you have any idea how painful Nth metal weapons are?” While she could cry at will, she didn’t need to fake the tears that came when remembering that very painful moment when her faceplate cracked, only restoring itself when she had to reform her body after using up Erebus’ blessing to discorporate. No, all she had to do was not hold them back; it wasn’t quite as painful as hellfire, but it was about… two thirds of the way there? About half again as painful as the Bat Demon Repellent.

“I’m sorry, Princess.” Bruce said sincerely. “How about after this invasion’s over with, we go have a weekend at Tokyo Disneyland? I know you’ve been wanting to compare it to the American one.” She’s a seven year old billionaire, of course she’s been to Disneyland. 

“I’ll hold you to that.” Tanya said, “But you’re extremely lucky the Thanagarians didn’t just kill you. It would have been the smart thing to do; honorable or not, I doubt you surrendered.”

“They haven’t been executing anyone, actually.” Bruce pointed out. “There have been deaths, particularly among the military that used to be under General Wells, but not as many as I would have assumed.”

“Don’t you try and rationalize to me.” Tanya insisted, annoyed. She took a moment to eat some more banana chips. “You lost, and only the mercy of literal military personnel has you alive. Trusting your fate to that was foolish, the only explanation I can think of is that they thought you held enough influence to encourage the populace to surrender, if not the authority to do so outright.” It represented a thorough misunderstanding of the Justice League’s role, but it was one that Tanya thought an alien government might make, overestimating the political influence of the League as the planetary military. Lack of understanding of the enemy’s political structure bit the Empire in the behind more than once, after all. 

“I believe you are correct.” J’onn said, entering the view of the camera. Tanya choked on a banana chip. “My studies of interplanetary politics indicate that the highest military power would be controlled by the planetary government, so they would assume that the Justice League would have that authority.”

Tanya was still slamming her fist onto her chest to dislodge the choking hazard when a second Justice League member came onto screen. “You know, I was beginning to think that Bats was trying to pull one over on us when he said that pretending to be a little girl was your idea, but hearing you talk in that squeaky little voice really puts it into perspective.” The Flash said, grinning. His own mask was off, revealing his face. 

She finally gave up on a concussive remedy and flexed her magic to break up the obstruction, taking out a juice box from the snack drawer to wash it down. Lemonade, delicious. “You had them leave the camera’s view on purpose.” She accused Bruce as she took a tissue and wiped at her eyes. She was not presentable! Where’s her hairbrush? 

Superman, Supergirl, Oliver Queen, Diana, and John Stewart came into view. Hm, Kent Nelson wasn’t here? Not that surprising, he was one of the League’s more arrogant members, so going off on his own was in character. “How painful is an Nth metal mace to the face?” Queen asked, clearly not interested in a serious answer. 

Doesn’t mean he’s not going to get one. “Slightly more painful than mustard gas.” Tanya deadpanned. “Doesn’t linger nearly as long, though.” Granted, it was because Nth metal was inimical to magical beings like demons, but still…

The expressions of disgusted horror that flashed through everyone’s faces were deeply satisfying. “You won’t need to engage in combat anymore, Tanya.” Bruce reassured her. 

“Good!” Tanya said, taking another tissue. “Don’t get yourself captured again, and also remember we need to execute plan Alpha-beta-gamma.” also known as the ‘make a temple to the Olympians to bribe them’ contingency plan. “I had to use it to break you out.” Well, ‘need’ was maybe a strong word, but she wasn’t about to try haggling against the infamously capricious Olympians. She pointed to Diana. “You also need to go talk to Hermes or whoever about repayment for the Olympian’s help.” Tanya then took the last two banana chips and popped them into her mouth. Alas, there just weren't very many of them in one of these tiny bags. 

“I assumed, but thank you.” Diana replied. “Also, I forgive you for your deception. It would be impossible for you to tell the truth without also revealing Bruce’s identity.”

“I forgive you too.” Supergirl piped up, “I probably would have died from cuteness overload if you didn’t.” She said faux-seriously. 

“Don’t spread it around.” Tanya begged them, flushing in embarrassment. “I need the implicit respect of being old by human standards to do a lot of my tasks for the Justice League.” Being HR for a bunch of superhumans was hard enough when you could draw on supernatural authority, she didn’t want to imagine how much harder it would be if the arrogant twats saw her as a child playing dress-up. “Even if you just count my human lifetimes, I’m in my fifties.”

“For what it’s worth, I forgive you too.” Shayera said, emerging from the shadows. “It’s not like I can talk.”

The collected superhumans all tensed, ready to fight but not immediately attacking, as Shayera was unarmed and holding up her hands. “What do you think you’re doing?” John said, angry. 

“Fixing my mistake.” Shayera said firmly. “I’m sorry, but they’re not building a shield generator.” Hm, the fact that she said that implied that she thought they were. Tanya wasn’t a stranger to the concept of feeding the lower ranks bad intel so they’d not question orders, but- wait. Did she mean… “They’re making a hyperspace bypass.” She said morosely, pulling out a data drive. “Here are the plans. I didn’t know.”

…What? Did she mean… that wasn’t quite the name used when she researched the realities of FTL travel… “Isn’t that a war crime?” Tanya asked, “Warp lanes disrupt planetary orbits, so it’s illegal to make them in systems with life-bearing planets.” 

Shayera’s brow furrowed. “...I don’t understand the specifics, but yes, it’ll kill everyone on the planet. Mars too.”

John slammed his fist on the table he was seated at. “What, do you think we’ll just welcome you back because you betrayed your fiance too?” 

Fiance? Clearly Tanya had not been paying enough attention. She thought that John and Shayera had a thing going… ah. Of course the spy used a honey trap. Against the one most likely to be able to spoil her cover story, too. Good craft. “She was following orders, soldier.” Tanya spat at him. “Until her side broke the laws of war. Which is the duty of any soldier, to refuse to collaborate with atrocities.” Which the Empire never did, unlike the damned Francois. Despite what that farce of a trial said. 

Shayera looked at the Batcomputer in surprise. “You’re not mad?” She said, bewildered. 

“Thanagar is an imperialist conqueror, and should be rightly censured for doing what they did to Earth” Tanya began, “But you were merely a spy, following lawful orders from your superiors.” She broke eye contact, a weight in her chest. “I was never a spy, but… I know a thing or two about what happens when the laws of war are broken. Once, I even thought I’d become a lawyer, after the war.” She imagined that she’d have done a better job at defending herself than the pathetic example that was assigned to her legal defense. Even with just her legal training from war college. “Even when you do conduct yourself as you should, it doesn’t always matter to those who can only manage a surface-level understanding of law. Most people don’t understand what it’s like, to sell your life in service of your country…” When politics infest the court, laws and precedent don’t actually matter. Gotham had done more to support this view than fight it, unfortunately. “...I’ll just read the email.” Tanya closed the call and just… existed for a moment. Centered herself. 

Then went and prepared a bubble bath for herself. She needed to think. 

-----------------------

True to Bruce’s promise, Tanya didn’t need to do anything else to resolve the Thanagarian invasion. There was a big climactic battle, several other Green Lanterns showed up to take away the military leadership for a war crime tribunal, and most of the war material was taken away. 

Most, not all. Following her example, quite a bit of the Nth metal equipment was squirreled away before the Green Lantern Corps could reclaim it, and the gigantic fusion plant was allowed to continue to exist. J’onn called on the Martian government and they were perfectly willing to turn it into an actual planetary shield generator and Starport, just as the Thanagarians promised. If a small portion of the reclaimed Nth metal was promised in return for this favor, well, that’s not any of Oa’s business. 

There was a bit of a debate on whether the planetary shield generator would be controlled by Mongolia, the UN Security Council, or the Justice League, but eventually it was decided to turn it over to the Justice League’s command, with a sizable sum being given over to the Mongolian government for the use of the land, and the profits from the excess energy production being added to the Justice League’s operating budget. It did, however, mean that most of the UN nations stopped sending money, though… 

Security at the place was handled by a PMC that was created specifically for that purpose, with a few elite mercenaries given legitimate work guarding it, as well as enough security goons so that those elite mercenaries weren’t distracted doing routine badge-checking on the technicians and other such mundane tasks. 

Naturally, as the Justice League was not an energy company, there was a fierce bidding war between various multinational conglomerates to handle the day to day operation of the new space infrastructure. WayneTech won, of course, which promptly spiked Tanya’s personal wealth by another billion just from the stock price jump caused by the announcement. Is it a conflict of interest? Absolutely. But the alternative was LexCorp. 

Finally, after substantial effort on her part, Bruce has made more money being Batman than he has ever spent on it. Sagusa, Wayne-sama.