INFO: Irwin's Journey rewrite - chapters 1 to ... 30?
Added 2024-03-24 21:58:07 +0000 UTCHey guys! As I shouted out in my discord, I've added/changed the first... 30 chapters on RR. Well, it's actually chapters 1 to 27, but there are 3 new ones mixed in. Because of how difficult it is to release them here, I've decided to do this differently. Attached, you will find the edited/rewritten start of Irwin's Journey in EPUB format.
Now, for those who don't want to re-read them, here's a very short list of what was changed. Some of the changes were already alerted in later chapters, and some you might know, but just to be as complete as I can.
Irwin and the other children's ages were bumped to 15 or 16
To make this work, reactions across the board were changed in situations
There is more worldbuilding in all chapters
The reasoning for why they are selected has changed, as they are deemed adults at 16
The sorcerers tower section was... well mostly rewritten? Instead of half a chapter, there are now three chapters including some training montages.
Irwin takes a more active role in the initial reforging (he is the one that hits even if Ambraz does the heavy lifting)
After some soul-searching (pun intended), I decided to keep the quarts to diamond names...
Part of this was because the POLL I held showed that many people enjoyed the made-up ranking system, and talking with a lot of people showed that the main issue was how badly I had introduced it and reiterated on it.
However! I've gone out of my to try to add way more mentions of them, including descriptions of how Irwin has trouble keeping them apart. There are also more callouts of them early on to hammer home the way the first three levels workHowever, 2! special cards were removed, as the name implied more than I had meant, and it never did get mentioned much after the first fifty chapters.
That means that the new lineup is: Common/Quartz, Uncommon/Amethyst, Rare/Topaz, Very Rare/Emerald, Epic/Ruby, Legendary/Diamond, Mythical/AmmolitI'm hoping this will remove the confusion everyone is having...
There's some reference to Uxin'tar in the tower to foreshadow his arrival
The entire first portal section, including where Irwin blurted out Ambraz's existence, has been rewritten. Due to this, it was lengthened by a chapter. It's hard to explain all the changes...
I probably have forgotten a few things, sorry if I have.
Comments
Hmm, I put down a reply and it vanished - I'll try again, but if two appear I'm sorry. Thanks a lot for this! It's incredible that with so many proofreaders and an editor there are still such big things in it. :( Anyway, I'll fix in on Friday (writingday)
Carrarn
2024-03-27 19:49:06 +0000 UTCI'm only through chapter 17 so far but some things that are sticking out to me: 1. There is a passage talking about how weapon and pet summons have to be uncommon, but Daubutin's Club and Rachel's shield summon are presumably supposed to be common cards. (Reading on, Irwin does question this in 18.2 but it isn't until way later that they say the club is a partial utility card. No mention of the shield) 2. When Irwin rescues Ambraz, Ambraz promises Irwin a card and Irwin never brings it up again. Seems like there is missing a passage about being able to reforge cards rather than give him a card or something? 3. Nearish the end of chapter 15 Ambraz casually mentions, "If not, I'll help you reforge one into something better," I think this is the first mention of reforging and it isn't 100% clear Irwin would have understood Ambraz was talking about cards. The next chapter Irwin asks for more details about reforging, but it seems like there should have been more details, questions initially or a slightly more detailed explanation further back? 4. There are still some mention that his first card is "Special" but no explanations or questions about what that is. When Irwin first meets Ambraz, Ambraz says his card is Epic without much of a reaction from Irwin who really has no information about his card at that point besides that commons usually don't have passives and his flame doesn't react like normal flame. He also still assumes he can go into Common portals with an Epic card, but it isn't mentioned why he thinks that is possible or ever explained.
TWW
2024-03-27 18:55:52 +0000 UTC
