Patreon Exclusive—One Piece Chapter 2- “Bar Fight on Coral Island!”

Setting: Coral Island, New World

Time: Unknown. Hangover O’Clock.

Coral Island was famous for two things:

The strongest drinks in the New World.

The most broken furniture per capita.

Naturally, Luffy wanted to go.

So did Ryuu.

Mostly because the island’s banner read: “First Drink is Free!”

And also because Zoro muttered, “Taverns here don’t water down their sake.”

That was all the convincing Ryuu needed.

Some Time Later…

Ryuu groaned as consciousness rebooted like a glitchy app. His back ached. His head throbbed. Something was dripping.

Drip. Drip.

He opened one eye.

He was in a jail cell.

Hanging upside-down.

From the ceiling.

“…Oh, not again.”

Zoro was snoring loudly from a pile of hay. He had one boot on, a bottle still in hand, and a playing card stuck to his forehead.

[SYSTEM STATUS: INTOXICATION – 87%. RECOVERY MODE: SNARK ONLY.]

[YOU HAVE NO BAT. YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY. YOU HAVE ONE SHOE.]

Ryuu dropped from the ceiling like an annoyed cat and rolled onto his back.

“Okay. What the hell happened?”

Zoro cracked one eye open. “We drank.”

“Clearly.”

“And fought.”

“Obviously.”

“And... someone said your bat looked dumb.”

Ryuu sat up violently. “They insulted Battiana?!”

“That is what it is called?”

“Battiana is family.”

Zoro groaned, holding his head. “They took it.”

“…They what?”

[SYSTEM WARNING: PRIMARY WEAPON STOLEN.]

[RETRIEVAL SUGGESTED OR YOU WILL DIE LIKE A LOSER.]

Ryuu stood. “We are escaping. Right now.”

Zoro rolled over. “Gimme five minutes and a sandwich.”

Ten Minutes Later.

The cell door exploded off its hinges.

Zoro held a broken bench leg like a sword.

Ryuu held a mop. Aggressively.

An alarm blared somewhere outside.

A guard screamed, “THEY ARE LOOSE… AGAIN!”

Ryuu vaulted over a desk and shouted, “WHERE IS BATTIANA, YOU PINEAPPLE-HEADED GOBLINS?!”

Zoro knocked someone into a wall. “You sure it was this jail?”

“No idea! I blacked out somewhere between whiskey and arm wrestling a fishman!”

[SYSTEM NOTE: JUDGEMENT IMPAIRED. AGGRESSION: PEAK.]

Elsewhere on the Island…

Nami, sipping a fancy tropical drink with a paper umbrella, watched smoke rise from the jailhouse.

Robin sat beside her with a book and a tired smile. “How long do you think before they find the bat?”

“They better do it before I find their bar tab,” Nami muttered.

A frantic jailer sprinted by. “THEY ARE HEADED TOWARD THE DOCKS!”

Nami sighed.

Robin stood. Cracked her knuckles.

“I am done with men.”

Back at the Docks.

“THERE!” Ryuu pointed as a sketchy pirate crew loaded crates onto a ship. A shimmering glint peeked out of one… the metallic edge of his bat.

The pirate crew was loud. Ugly. Armed. And fronted by a Logia user with smoke leaking from his collar.

“Sea Prism Bat, huh?” the man grinned. “Gonna sell it for a fortune.”

“You can try,” Ryuu growled, stepping forward.

Zoro joined him. “I am sobering up. That means someone is about to get stabbed.”

“Yeah,” Ryuu muttered. “Mood’s ruined.”

The Logia raised his hand. “I am made of mist, idiot. You can’t touch-”

THWACK.

Sea Prism Stone bat to the face.

“GAAHH- WHAT?!”

“Battiana says hi,” Ryuu said, spinning the bat like a drum major on rage.

The pirates froze.

Then charged.

—

Back-to-back.

Zoro unsheathed his sword.

Ryuu spun his bat.

Zoro grunted, “You better not die here.”

Ryuu smirked. “I am too drunk to care.”

And chaos exploded.

Zoro carved through the left flank, swords gleaming.

Ryuu knocked out three men with one sweep, deflecting bullets and curses alike.

Franky arrived midway, yelling “SUPER BACKUP!” and immediately punched through a barrel.

Sanji tried to kick Ryuu “for stealing wine” but missed and knocked out two pirates instead.

Chopper tried to play medic. Got trampled. Transformed. Drop-kicked a pirate into a palm tree.

Luffy? Luffy was already raiding the enemy ship for meat.

—

The crew stood victorious.

The pirates were unconscious.

Battiana was recovered.

Ryuu was covered in bruises and rum but smiling.

“Hey, Zoro,” he said, swinging the bat over his shoulder.

“Hm?”

“Next time I black out with you, hide my stuff better.”

Zoro snorted. “Next time I black out, don’t start a war with the local gang.”

Ryuu grinned. “I regret nothing.”

[SYSTEM UPDATE: BAT RECOVERED. VENGEANCE: ACHIEVED.]

[UNLOCKED BOND: Zoro – “Drinking Buddies ‘Til the End or Until We Black Out Again.”]

As they walked back to the ship, Nami glared.

“Who is paying for the broken jail, the stolen table, and the missing bar stools?”

Ryuu pointed at Zoro.

Zoro pointed at Ryuu.

They both ran.

Robin chuckled. “Next island is gonna need insurance.”