Looking ahead (hopefully)

Honestly, I'm scared of what's coming.

But wait, the title mentions hope -- what gives!?

The past few months have been challenging -- 2024 seemed like it was going to be a standout year. I made amazing art in Italy, healed some longstanding traumas thanks to the loving support of a friend, reconnected with people I used to make art with, developed a workable business plan (more on that in a future update), landed a free drone (and got my FAA license), seemed to get my artistic mojo back, and even started raising chickens in my backyard (there will be chicken-related updates, too). Life felt abundant.

Then, November happened and everything turned upside down (no, I'm not talking about the election)… but I'm resilient and always find my footing.

But something happened in January and I'm not sure how I'm going to keep moving forward…

My eyes have always been a source of pride. People always remark on how blue they are. (It even happened today at the auto parts store -- the manager stopped in her tracks and said, "wow, your eyes are really blue!" And I've always had better than 20/20 vision. But not anymore -- at the end of 2023, my vision started going bad. I couldn't read fine print, working at the computer was getting difficult, and there were days that I couldn't get my eyes to focus at all. So, I went to the optometrist for the first time in a decade and got glasses.

In January, I went back for a check-up. Probably the first time since I was a kid that I've been to an optometrist in consecutive years. Which meant it's the first time someone's had recent data to compare year over year.

They told me I likely have Angle-Closure Glaucoma.

Basically, those big blue irises of mine are blocking my eyes' ability to drain fluid, so the pressure is building up, which makes the blockages even worse.

It means I could lose my vision, quickly and permanently.

They say the change should be gradual -- for now. But it could become acute in the near future. I'm going back in March to have them re-evaluate, comparing the measurements from January.

If they confirm the diagnosis, I have two options: 1) lose my vision, or 2) use a laser to burn holes in the bottom of my eyeballs, in the hope it will relieve the pressure… but for the moment I'm on Medicaid and that won't pay for surgery unless it's an emergency. (And if my vision gets to the point of an emergency, it's probably too late).

…but I will keep moving forward.

I always do.

Thanks for your support.