(LAST UPDATE) READ THIS IF UR A PATRON OR THINKING OF BECOMING ONE

its one of those posts, so im warnin u

so for i think almost a month, i got barely any work done due to the fucks i keep havin to deal with irl, it was the least productive i have ever been in the 5 years ive been doin this shit.  i literally CANNOT keep workin from them, its gotten to the point where i started havin mental breakdowns, i had 3 of them in the same day (today), when even 1 never happens

these fuckin idiots keep doin a certain thing that prevents me from workin normally, so i tell them to stop doin it cause it bothers me nearly 24/7, i told them i cant work or even sleep because of them, and they not only keep doin it to purposely piss me off, but they now laugh at me and talk shit behind my back

what that certain thing is is JUST a vent, a vent thats in their bathroom that has the noise fill my entire basement, which is all my room.  do u wanna wake up and work through the sounds of peoples fuckin piss above ur head, singing horribly to urself, makin loud random noises for no reason to nobody, and the sound of sum1 constantly makin the noise of doin a loogie?  its all day every day.  they literally just cant keep a vent closed in a bathroom that they only started using when i got my own room

its all on purpose.  its fuckin drivin me crazy.  thats just one of the things of course, but thats one of the major problems right now, its fuckin impossible to even think because of their fuckin stupidity.  they want me to work all day, than complain when i work.  they want me to either work or kick me out of the house, but i cant work when they keep doing this stupid bullshit all day

i havent eaten anything today and its nearly time for me to sleep, i cant even feel hungry when my mind is constantly breaking down from them.  their stupidity is affecting my sanity, its bad enough they ruined my entire life, but i feel my sanity slipping now, my mind is getting worse and worse.  my body on instinct just suddenly punches everything right when i hear a noise coming from that vent, leaving my arms bruised, or even bleeding, for months to, their affecting both my mind and body way to much

i tried working on stuff today, but its fuckin tough, i dont think i can do it.  i fuckin cant, i cant even think, i cant even sleep, when i wake up, it only takes seconds for a problem to happen, i really cant keep tryin to work through this, i dunno how much longer i can live like this honestly, im not suicidal, but this is makin me close to it.  i really cant handle everything anymore, i just wanna fuckin work for u guys in peace, but sumthin that simple is to much apparently.  im really sorry, i no u ppl pay for this stuff, so i want u guys to cancel ur pledges until i can actually get sumthin done at least, because as it stands right now, its too difficult, so dont waste ur money on me

i dont care about money right now.  im 1 of only 2 people in this house working (both of these lazy fucks that are the problem both dont work, and havent for over 10 years), so since their preventing me from even working, fuck it.  just fuck it.  dont gimme money.  i dont care if we get kicked out of this shitty fuckin house, i dont care if im not able to afford anything anymore, the only things i do care about, games and animating, where both ruined completely by them.  so, seriously, cancel ur pledges, because while i do want to work, im gonna just continue doing what ive been doing for over a week, just gonna play games all day, theirs no point in continuing to do anything animation related, no testing, no porting, nothing.  cancel ur pledge and do wutever else u where gonna do with that money instead, it would be better than wastin it on me

UPDATE

i didnt expect ppl to say their staying, u ppl are so fuckin nice.  u ppls words do help, until i turn off the screen and realize that im still at home, hahhaa.  i cant thank u all enough, wish i was around ppl even half as nice as u guys irl, hahaha, but i do not like receiving money when i cant even get work done for u guys, so if u wanna stay, at least do it when i release sumthing instead of when im struggling with shit irl.  i mean, sure, money is wut every1 needs, but id rather have other ppl use it on themselves, i grew up poor and always gave my money away to my classmates, so i never cared about it besides bein able to afford essential stuff anyways.  with all this virus shit on top of everything, think about urself, urs and ur families needs first

i cant answer everyone, i read everything but i wanna clear sumthin up.  their not my roommates, their my "parents", im still livin at home.  noise isnt the only problem, interruptions, yelling, fighting are, and stuff like that.  its nearly 24/7, they just DONT understand that i work from home, their too stupid to figure out that i cant be bothered, and its been 5 years since ive been doin this, and they still dont get it.  their hopeless, their stupidity really gets to me.  they complain that i work alot, but than complain if i dont work and threaten to kick me out.  when 1 problem is solved after days of fighting about sumthin, they instead just switch to sumthin else that they know id be able to hear from the room im in (entire basement btw).  its like im fighting with little kids when their ppl that are sumwhere around 65 (i dont no either of my "parents" actual age) i just REALLY cant understand their point of view at all, and on top of that, they get everyone else in this "family" agreeing with them, even when their clearly wrong.  making sense of everything here just cant be done, super fuckin irritating

now im gonna answer sum things from the comments

the reason earplugs wont work (thought about it long ago btw) is because its not JUST when i sleep, i would need to do sumthin like wearin earplugs all day, but who wants to do that?  i listen to music when workin, so i cant have earplugs/earphones because my room also has NO lock on it, so the only way i no sum1 is about to enter the room is from hearin the door, if im wearin earplugs, i wont be able to hear that, so that means id get caught makin porn (they dunno wut i actually do besides workin from the computer)

that therapist comment, i almost tried to get on dr. phil, haha.  i dropped tryin tho cuz i no exactly wuts gonna happen if it ever did happen, my "parents" r just impossible to talk to, even when talkin with strangers, listenin to them talk is infuriating, their minds r in their own little world, and if sum1 else tells em otherwise, well... im sure u can figure out the rest.  a therapist for myself, i personally dont want to do sumthin like that, i no wut the problem is, i no about the stuff i carried from childhood and all that past-diving info, i dont think itd rly help me, and talkin to ppl irl about this stuff is just sumthin i cant rly do anyway, only online can i say this stuff more comfortably.  irl, i just dont wanna talk about this stuff with other ppl at all.  when i leave the house, i wanna forget about everything and actually enjoy gettin away from there, so thats y this just wont work for me

thank you all again

last update

next animation is almost finished.  self isolated myself, i leave the room if sum1 else is in it, and i did end up gettin earplugs.  while they still do try pissin me off on purpose and all that, it doesnt work as good for them as before, since i leave if they start talking, and i cant hear too much while sleeping, but anyways, yeah, next animation will come soon, sorry for the really long wait, learning a new program while my drive to work, or even do anything at all, is completely killed is very difficult to do