Chapter 49 - Auntie Xiao… do you like me?

The waiters brought the dishes one after another. The main course was steak, served with baked deep-sea prawns in cheese, pan-seared cod, seafood pizza, turkey salad, milk pudding, Black Forest cake, and more. Since Xiao Wanqing was driving, Lin Xian didn’t take the opportunity to suggest red wine—instead, they ordered a pot of special fruit tea to share.

The atmosphere felt strangely heavy. Lin Xian was still steeped in a quiet sense of loss, saying nothing as she battled silently with her steak using knife and fork. Suddenly, Xiao Wanqing’s gentle and melodious voice broke the silence, brushing softly against Lin Xian’s ears. “Xianxian…”

Lin Xian paused, looking up in confusion at Xiao Wanqing.

Xiao Wanqing smiled warmly. The trace of bitterness that had clouded her face earlier now seemed like a figment of Lin Xian’s imagination. At this moment, she was once again the calm and charming woman Lin Xian had always known. Her gaze swept gently over Lin Xian’s plate before she pushed her own perfectly cut steak across the table and said in a soft voice, “Shall we switch?”

Lin Xian froze, her eyes lingering on Xiao Wanqing’s graceful smile. The weight in her heart suddenly felt lighter, as if half of it had evaporated. A faint smile tugged at her lips, though she still politely declined, “No need, Aunt Xiao. I can manage.”

Xiao Wanqing made no comment, but quietly stood up and swapped their plates herself. “I know you can,” she teased, “but you just didn’t look very happy while cutting it.” Then she looked up, half teasing, half serious. “Was it something about the food? You’ve been pouting ever since they started serving. Your lips are practically hanging an oil bottle.”

Lin Xian’s cheeks flushed. Had she really been so obvious? Or… had Aunt Xiao been paying that much attention to her emotions?

Her heart swelled with a bittersweet warmth. She lowered her head and softly denied it, “I wasn’t…”

Still cutting her steak, Xiao Wanqing lifted an eyebrow with a mischievous lilt in her voice, “Oh?” Clearly, she didn’t believe Lin Xian’s weak denial.

She set down her knife and fork, blinked those gentle eyes of hers, and teased, “Is it because I didn’t give you an apple?” Pausing thoughtfully, she added, “I’ve heard it’s become a trend to give apples on Christmas Eve.”

This time, Lin Xian denied it with conviction, “Of course not! I’m not that childish.”

Xiao Wanqing burst into laughter, coaxing her like a child, “Alright, alright, don’t be mad. You’re not.”

So perfunctory! Lin Xian puffed up, ready to explain again, when she saw Xiao Wanqing wipe her hands with a tissue and pull out a small box from her bag, pushing it toward her. Her smile curled at the corners of her eyes, “Okay, I’m the childish one.”

“Open it and see—do you like this little apple?” Her eyes sparkled as if stars had gathered within them.

Lin Xian stared at her, and for a moment, her heart skipped a beat.

How could this woman… make her feel so miserable, and then so happy, all in one evening?

She couldn’t help the grin growing on her lips. She reached out and gently opened the velvet box. Inside lay a pair of apple-shaped platinum hollow earrings, glimmering delicately under the warm lights.

But Lin Xian’s smile sparkled even brighter. She looked up in surprise and delight, “They’re so cute!”

Seeing her reaction, Xiao Wanqing’s own expression softened with joy. Resting her chin in one hand, she gazed at Lin Xian’s delicate face and said with heartfelt affection, “Not as cute as you.”

Lin Xian carefully picked up one of the earrings and, half shy, half eager, asked, “Aunt Xiao, can you help me put them on?”

Xiao Wanqing nodded and moved to sit beside her. “Of course.”

Her cool fingers gently touched Lin Xian’s soft earlobe as she leaned in, searching for the earring hole with quiet focus. Her warm breath fell softly on Lin Xian’s increasingly flushed ears.

Lin Xian glanced sideways at her porcelain profile, her hands clenching the hem of her coat without realizing it. Her heartbeat was going absolutely wild…

She was terrified that Xiao Wanqing might hear the pounding of her heart, might sense how abnormal—how overwhelmed—she was in this moment.

Thankfully, Xiao Wanqing seemed unaware and calmly moved back.

She looked at Lin Xian for a moment, then, satisfied, gave a quiet nod. “Looks beautiful.”

Lin Xian’s eyes shimmered as she bit her lip and murmured, “But I didn’t prepare a gift for you…”

Xiao Wanqing ruffled her hair gently, “Did you forget? You took me to see the snow.”

Lin Xian suddenly threw herself into Xiao Wanqing’s arms, burying her face against her neck. Her voice was muffled but earnest, “That doesn’t count. Aunt Xiao, let’s go see real snow next time, okay? Let me make it up to you.”

Xiao Wanqing lovingly patted her back and nuzzled her chin softly against the top of her head, her voice warm and steady, “Okay, I’ll wait for you.”

All the earlier disappointment and sadness about not being able to perform her song melted away completely. Leaning into Xiao Wanqing’s warm embrace, Lin Xian couldn’t tell whether the heartbeat she heard belonged to her—or Xiao Wanqing—but it was calm, strong, and comforting. She slowly closed her eyes and let go.

Reaching into her pocket, she slowly unfolded the crumpled sheet music.

After all, she still had plenty of time.
After all, she would have plenty of chances.

Because compared to Xiao Wanqing’s brief past, Lin Xian would be part of her long, long future.

She laughed at herself.
"Lin Xian, you’re hopeless. So easy to cheer up."

Yet still, she couldn’t help but hide in Xiao Wanqing’s arms and smile.

She was willing. Sweetly, utterly willing—to be hopeless.

On the way home, Lin Xian hummed cheerfully along to the music Xiao Wanqing played in the car. Just before they arrived, she suddenly paused as if remembering something and asked, “Aunt Xiao, what are your plans for the New Year’s holiday?” Zhou Qin had asked if she’d be going home for the holiday, but she’d said she wanted to stay and spend New Year’s Eve with Aunt Xiao. Zhou Qin had no objections but warned her not to act on her feelings alone—she might disrupt Aunt Xiao’s plans. She’d suggested Lin Xian check if there were any company parties or travel plans first.

Xiao Wanqing kept her eyes on the road as she drove into the neighborhood. Without a second thought, she replied to Lin Xian, “I’ve made plans with your Aunt Wen. We’re heading to Wanquan Resort on December 31st for a hot spring soak, and we’ll ring in the New Year there. She mentioned there might be a fireworks show too.”

Lin Xian's inner alarm bells went off at once. Hot springs? Did that mean swimsuits? And fireworks too? What exactly was Wen Tong planning?

December 31st? Something suddenly flickered through her mind. She took a breath to steady herself and, trying to sound casual, asked Xiao Wanqing, “But Aunt Xiao, isn’t that around the time when... things are a bit inconvenient for you? Will it be okay?”

She had carefully observed Xiao Wanqing’s cycle—not the typical monthly pattern, but one that shifted forward by a week each month. December’s timing should land around the 31st. Wouldn’t soaking in a hot spring be uncomfortable?

Xiao Wanqing paused, gave her a puzzled glance, and asked in return, “What do you mean by inconvenient?” As she turned her attention back to the road, the car glided into the garage, and she began backing into a parking spot. Just as the engine turned off, realization struck her.

No wonder. No wonder Lin Xian always seemed to precisely anticipate her cycle—insisting she stay away from dishwashing and water, always ready with brown sugar water and a warm patch exactly when she needed it most.

Something seemed to strike her heart—sharp, and then achingly soft. Her eyes lingered on Lin Xian, a gentle ripple of emotion flowing through them. “Lin Xian, are you always this attentive with everyone?”

Lin Xian tilted her head and met her gaze without flinching. Her eyes lit up with a soft warmth, as though she'd suddenly thought of something. She reached out and gently flicked Xiao Wanqing’s nose, smiling mischievously. “Do I look like I have that much free time?”

Her touch sent a shiver down Xiao Wanqing’s spine, like a subtle current trailing from her nose and trickling down into her heart.

Xiao Wanqing averted her gaze uncomfortably, murmuring, “You really have no sense of boundaries.”

But Lin Xian didn’t take it to heart. With a playful grin, she pressed, “Aunt Xiao, can I come with you guys? I haven’t seen fireworks in years—you know how the city has banned firecrackers. It’s been so long…”

Xiao Wanqing stared at the car’s emblem on the steering wheel, her thoughts drifting. After a pause, she nodded. “Alright. I’ll let Wen Tong know. More people, more fun. She probably won’t mind.”

Overjoyed, Lin Xian hugged her arm excitedly. “Aunt Xiao, you’re the best.”

Xiao Wanqing glanced at her with dark, unreadable eyes, forced a smile, and said, “Come on, let’s go home.”

—

Sometime in the middle of the night, Lin Xian was jolted awake—likely from all the fruit tea she’d had earlier. She felt the pressure in her bladder and fumbled in the dark toward the bathroom, casting a glance at Xiao Wanqing’s room along the way. The door was shut, not a sliver of light escaping. She tiptoed carefully, not wanting to disturb her.

After finishing in the bathroom, however, she couldn’t fall back asleep. Her mouth felt dry—maybe she’d eaten too much salty food at dinner. Annoyed and restless, she threw off her covers, grabbed her robe, and wandered into the living room to get some water.

Just as she reached the living room and picked up a glass, something caught her eye—a faint, flickering light on the balcony where there should have been only darkness. A dim silhouette?

Even Lin Xian, usually fearless, stiffened with a jolt of awareness. She tightened her grip on the glass and squinted toward the balcony. Bathed in moonlight, she finally made out the figure—leaning lazily against the railing, long hair cascading down like seaweed, a cigarette glowing between her fingers.

It was Xiao Wanqing.

Lin Xian’s eyes fell on the cigarette in her hand. Her expression stiffened, and she quietly placed the glass back down, her lips pressed into a thin, solemn line.

So… her long-held suspicions were true.

She walked quietly out to the balcony. The little table where they used to sip tea under the stars now held several empty beer cans, a half-drunk bottle of whiskey, and a wine glass tipped over on its side.

Her lips drew even tighter.

Xiao Wanqing, dulled by alcohol, reacted sluggishly. She didn’t notice Lin Xian approaching until the younger woman had already stepped onto the balcony. Reflexively, like a child caught doing something wrong, she panicked and stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray. She looked helplessly at Lin Xian, murmuring, “Xian Xian…”

She wore only a thin slip dress, no jacket, shivering slightly in the night wind. Her eyes, usually clear and bright, were now fogged with melancholy and confusion. Her delicate, graceful face—clouded with a gentle sadness—looked so fragile and quietly hurt that it pierced Lin Xian’s heart.

Without a word, Lin Xian stepped forward and opened her robe, wrapping Xiao Wanqing’s freezing body tightly in her arms. She pressed her warm cheek to the woman’s icy one and whispered softly in her ear, “Want your little heater to warm you up?”

She felt the cold stiffness in her arms begin to melt slowly, leaning into her, trusting her completely.

After a moment, she heard Xiao Wanqing’s soft, hoarse voice beside her ear. “Seven Christmases ago, she broke up with me. I didn’t try to stop her. She said she’d get married, have a kid, give her parents closure, and then come back to me. I didn’t believe her… Wasn’t that clever of me?” Her tone lifted slightly, like a child hoping for praise.

But Lin Xian only felt a warm tear slide down her cheek.

She held Xiao Wanqing close, silent for a long moment. Then, in a tender voice, she asked, “Aunt Xiao, it’s so cold… Let me take you back to your room, okay?”

Xiao Wanqing buried her face into Lin Xian’s shoulder and said nothing.

So Lin Xian crouched down slightly, one hand around Xiao Wanqing’s waist, the other cradling her legs. Surprisingly light, she lifted her into her arms, and her heart ached sharply.

She’s even lighter and thinner than I imagined…

As she was lifted, Xiao Wanqing instinctively wrapped her arms around Lin Xian’s neck. Her tear-streaked eyes looked up in surprise, like a startled bunny. Lin Xian adjusted her hold and walked slowly, steadily back inside. She softened her voice, like coaxing a child. “I’m really strong, you don’t have to be scared. Just hold on to me a little tighter, okay?”

Xiao Wanqing's eyes were as soft and fluid as water. She looked at Lin Xian, silent for a second, then tightened her arms around Lin Xian’s neck just slightly and murmured in a soft, milky voice, “Okay.”

Holding the person in her arms, Lin Xian felt as if she was holding the whole world. So full, so complete—it made her nose sting with emotion. Right now, the person she held wasn’t Auntie Xiao, Zhou Qin’s best friend; not the sharp, capable Editor-in-Chief of the magazine. She was just Xiao Wanqing—the person Lin Xian wanted to hold on to forever and ever, to treasure with all her heart.

She lifted her leg to press down on the door handle to Xiao Wanqing’s room—only to realize it had merely been left ajar. She nudged the door open with her foot and stepped inside, carefully placing Xiao Wanqing on the bed. Then, lifting the covers, she gently tucked her in with utmost care.

Xiao Wanqing kept gazing at her softly the whole time.

Lin Xian’s throat bobbed. She stood by the bed for a while, then suddenly slipped off her slippers, shrugged off her robe, and climbed under the covers beside Xiao Wanqing. She reached out and gently embraced her.

Xiao Wanqing turned her head, her eyes still misty and wet, locking her gaze with Lin Xian’s.

Lin Xian pursed her lips, speaking like a nagging little wife, gently scolding her lover: “From now on, don’t drink so much, okay?”

Xiao Wanqing nodded obediently. “Okay.”

Lin Xian frowned slightly. “And no more smoking either, alright?”

Xiao Wanqing sniffled and replied in a quiet voice, “Okay.”

Lin Xian felt like even the toughest steel was turning into silk in her hands. She bit her lip, her hand resting on Xiao Wanqing’s waist tightening just a little. Testing her luck, she asked softly, “And… you won’t like her anymore either, okay?”

She stared nervously at Xiao Wanqing, watching as her eyes slowly fluttered shut. After a while, she heard her murmur, “I stopped liking her a long time ago.”

Her voice turned plaintive, tinged with grievance: “I just couldn’t let it go…”
Tiny tears slipped from her barely-closed eyes.

Lin Xian, heart aching, reached out to wipe her tears, but Xiao Wanqing suddenly bit her lip and looked at her intently. Her eyes shimmered, her gaze cool and hesitant. Then she asked, “Lin Xian… are we too close?”

Lin Xian’s hand froze mid-air, a chill flashing through her heart. Wait… wasn’t she drunk?

But in the next second, Xiao Wanqing lowered her eyes again and began to mumble in a soft, aggrieved whisper, “Lin Xian… don’t be too good to me, and don’t get too close…”

“One day, you’ll leave too…”

“And I’ll be the only one left…”

“I’m sorry, Mom… I’m sorry…”

Her glistening tears slowly soaked into the pillow beneath her. She hugged herself tightly, curling up bit by bit.

Lin Xian’s chest ached with a sour, heavy feeling. Her eyes grew red with the weight of Xiao Wanqing’s tearful words. She wrapped her arms around Xiao Wanqing’s slender frame and whispered by her ear with gentle reassurance, “I won’t leave. I’ll never leave.”

She brushed the damp strands of hair from Xiao Wanqing’s cheek, then gently covered her eyes with her palm, soothing her in a tender voice, “Go to sleep. Want me to sing you a Christmas song?”

“Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh… Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…”

She didn’t know how long she sang, but her voice gradually faded, quieter and quieter, until it disappeared altogether.

In the dark, she stayed quiet for a long, long time. Then suddenly, as if talking to the air, or perhaps to herself, she whispered, “Auntie Xiao… do you like me?”

The person beside her remained silent.

Lin Xian turned her head and moved her hand away, only to see her beloved already asleep—brows slightly furrowed, breathing calm and steady. Her long, curled lashes, as delicate as little fans, were still dotted with sparkling, unfallen tears.

Lin Xian gazed at her for a long time, eyes filled with a love as gentle as flowing water.

At last, she reached out and tenderly wiped away the tears on Xiao Wanqing’s lashes. In a low, affectionate voice, she murmured, “Goodnight, my little crybaby.”