DR 109
Added 2024-08-12 16:54:13 +0000 UTCHowdy Partner
Comments
Either that or hypoglycemia.
Mark
2024-08-16 08:51:27 +0000 UTC“Shut it - Straight-A’s.” Omg, my sides!
Mark
2024-08-16 08:49:51 +0000 UTCYeah, that sums up every shonen genera ever. Sorry for making this two posts, my finger slipped off the Shift key when making a paragraph.
Steven Stiring
2024-08-12 20:26:47 +0000 UTCRuby smiled, “Oh, don’t worry, we’ll be friendly when we fight you in the Vytal Festival too! There’s no need to be rude!”
Steven Stiring
2024-08-12 20:25:13 +0000 UTCFixed!
PublicLee Speaking
2024-08-12 20:08:46 +0000 UTCHonestly, that's just the way I think, trying to cover all edges of a concept at once to fully encapsulate it, which for my SI's I allow to run free, while, when doing other character PoVs that clearly have different mindsets, like Vi, Cinder, or Mina, I try and rein that in.
PublicLee Speaking
2024-08-12 20:05:22 +0000 UTCEdits picking up her the gorget -> the gorget the cause of the downfall was simply became that -> simply forgotten such that? start to ignore him -> started
Meudon
2024-08-12 19:05:21 +0000 UTCCouple of things I really enjoyed in this chapter. The callback to Oz and his many problems trying to contain and control human nature was one. He truly developed the patience of a Saint during his work as a "sheperd" of mankind. This fic makes it clear he has an approach and is worthy of consideration and respect, unlike his canon self. The other amusing thing is the comparison with Rogue like games. Which while caulous AF is well incline with what I was expecting. Amusingly enough Cinder and the rest of the people Salem uses don't really get that they die horribly in the natural evolution of the "game" Oz and Salem are playing.
Guilherme Bezerra
2024-08-12 18:54:57 +0000 UTCRandom commment I've been meaning to make for a while: You have a propensity to use run-on sentences (e.g. para 4) and what I can only describe as "hairpin clauses" that bounce back and forth between both sides of an argument (e.g. para 5). Is that part of your house style, per the italics thing, or just a side-effect of your writing process? > Thus, currently, we were at the point where the Great War was a distant memory, those born at its conclusion now in their eighties, and the structures that were put in place at its end, like Huntsmen, taken for granted while simultaneously beginning to be questioned once more, not as a new institution, but because what had come before was now being romanticized by the elites, who had forgotten how the old system had truly functioned, warts and all. That... yeah... I recall making a similar argument recently in response to the "hard times make hard men" trope. To me, it's more like: hard times create authoritarian assholes; authoritarians create pervasive propaganda; and propaganda convinces people that the authoritarians were great. Then, during the subsequent good times, people who want to _be_ great - and who see honesty as part of that - find themselves peeling back the layers of propaganda like old wallpaper... which creates a schism with those who can't or won't let go of the propaganda. That leads to societal strife, which in extreme cases can bring about new hard times. > Ruby smiled, “Oh, don’t worry, we’ll be friendly when we fight you in the Vytal Festival too! There’s no need to be rude!” Simultaneously adorable and oddly threatening.
Apeljohn
2024-08-12 18:46:51 +0000 UTCAlso, loving this.
William Scott
2024-08-12 17:07:15 +0000 UTCGods, Ruby’s such a fuckin’ cinnamon roll. Gonna give me diabetes.
William Scott
2024-08-12 17:06:52 +0000 UTC
