20: Speaking Canadian and Australian English in a British-American binary

I think the thing for me (this is Gretchen trying to puzzle out the Canadian side) is that I can use "please" along with other politeness strategies like asking a question (Both "Could you please pass the salt?" and "Could you pass the salt?" read as polite to me) but by itself it's not sufficient to indicate politeness for me ("Pass the salt, please." reads as ruder to me than "Could you pass the salt?"). But of course, tone of voice is huge here too.

Lingthusiasm

I'm late to this party, but I just listened to this episode in the past week. The "please" thing struck me too. I'm northeastern US (about equidistant between Philly and NYC, so you can choose your stereotype for our region), and I didn't find the idea of "please" being rude fit quite right for me, either. However, I can't put my finger on the difference. At home, we absolutely say please. Maybe not all the time? "Hon, could you grab the mustard out of the fridge?" wouldn't be weird to hear, but then neither would "Could I have the mustard please?" said to someone sitting across the table, next to the mustard. The first would likely be directed at someone already going to the fridge for something else. At a coffee shop... I think I use both, as well. I would have to have somebody record me for a while, but I think it depends on whether or not there's a verb in the sentence. "Could I get a medium decaf?" would probably not get a please, but "A medium decaf, please," is never going to NOT get the please. That said, when I was listening to the podcase, I certainly could hear in my mind's ear the rude "please". It's sort of like, if you're asking someone to do something that they're going to do anyway, (like the barista is going to make you the coffee; that's why they get paid; they're not going to be like 'no i don't want to') then the "please" almost pushes the request over into a demand? Like, it comes across as that passive-aggressive customer who uses exaggeratedly polite language in a way that's trying to shame the clerk for not giving them the service they feel they deserve. I am not sure if this is at all clear; I was getting images and emotions during the podcast and they are proving difficult to translate into text.

Lauren Fotiades

Yeah, I wonder if it's regional even within the US, that's always an issue with nationlect-level generalizations like this

Lingthusiasm

American Midwesterner here and I say please all the time! Honestly I've been so confused when this has come up here and on The Allusionist. Maybe it's more true in New England? That seems more plausible to me.

@Minchowski: As I hear it, it depends on tone of voice.

thnidu

I would like to point out that even in the States, whether you say please depends on where you are. I grew up in the south and I would never go through any of the interactions discussed without saying please. It’s always ‘Could I please ...?’, which makes it really odd to hear people saying that Americans perceive please as rude.

Minchowski

With respect to Canadian english, Joe Clark has written a book, "Organizing Our Marvellous Neighbours", on the differences between Canadian English and both UK and US English(es) (at least with respect to spelling).

Brian Quirt