LiveStream Today!
Added 2016-10-28 18:06:12 +0000 UTCHey everyone! I hope your Friday is going well!! I know this is last minute (I will definitely give you more notice next time) but I will have a livestream today on YouNow at 3pm PST. Ask your questions below this post and I will get to them during the broadcast! This will be our first trial run to see if we like that format :) xoxo As always, let me know what you think and how I can improve your experience! xoxo
Comments
Thank you Kati. I was going to send this for November before I knew about the livestream, so that is perfect. I hope this was a cohesive question, I got home not long before the stream and just wanted to get one sent it. I imagine it is a tricky topic. It is hard for me to even acknowledge thinking about with my therapist because I want her to believe that I believe that i know it is nothing was my fault like everyone says. Can't show her all the cards up front, right?! :/ Thanks Kati! <3
EJ
2016-10-29 19:31:12 +0000 UTCI sent an email to my school's president and he forwarded it to other staff members. One just showed me an article in the school's paper, another didn't show much care, and the other (who is the school's victim advocate) basically told me she is too busy to deal with my concerns and told me to take my concerns somewhere else. So I am trying the dean of students. But I am running out of ideas. I have mentioned how they only use the word victim and not survivor, how they need to get rid of shame and stigma, spread more awareness and help with options available, how they could require everyone to do a title IX and bystander training (only school employees had to do it), and how they could offer self-defense seminars. What are your thoughts on using the term victim vs survivor, having a victim advocate, and that it is called a women's center where the victim advocate is located?
Ashley Rokisky
2016-10-29 00:47:19 +0000 UTCJust some basics about it. But also how to tell someone that you are asexual--especially if you recently discovered it and are worried other people will have doubts because you never seemed asexual before.
Ashley Rokisky
2016-10-29 00:42:00 +0000 UTCHow can you tell if you are spending to long "working on things" ie. talking about problems, searching for answers etc. Is it possible to make things worse or retraumatise yourself if you talk about them more?
mandaa
2016-10-28 23:34:38 +0000 UTCHey EJ :) I have added this to my video list for the Patreon vids.. I will look into it a bit more and hopefully you find the answer helpful :) xoxo
Kati Morton
2016-10-28 23:34:31 +0000 UTCI am so sorry that is happening at your school!!! Ugh :( I am so glad you are wanting to do something and raise awareness.. in all truth, I find that working with a faculty member is the best way to get your idea approved and pushed through :) I would address what sexual assault is (many don't know what that means) and talk about how common it is on college campuses in general. Then I would talk about ways to keep you and those around you safe (not walking alone, not getting so drunk that you don't remember anything, etc) and also empower the student body that if they see someone say something.. maybe your school could even open up a phone line or people could volunteer to be on call.. or text. Let me know how it goes!! xoxo
Kati Morton
2016-10-28 23:31:02 +0000 UTCHey Ashley!! I am actually planning on filming with Everyone Is Gay to talk about asexuality. Since I don't specialize in LBGTQIA+ issues.. I want to make sure I do it justice. Are there certain topics you would like us to talk about most?? xoxo
Kati Morton
2016-10-28 23:28:21 +0000 UTCThank you Kati for the advice. xoxo
Emily
2016-10-28 23:23:51 +0000 UTCI am here!! Sorry! I forgot until 30 mins in.. xox
Kati Morton
2016-10-28 23:23:24 +0000 UTCUPDATE: My (school) bus goes in the direction of where I was abused and where he lived, I cannot dodge going that way as I have door to door transportation (special needs services) and I am the first stop in the morning, across town. I get that, that is a trigger and I try not to look out the window but it is my senior year of HS so I have until June to deal with this. I was not a Patreon when you sent out Tangle toys but I am thinking of buying one. I always have my headphones at all times due to the fact I can act impulsively on my anger. Can you shoot me a link or two of "cheap" distraction toys? *Irrelevant* Can I send you a message on here, Patreon, for things that might be helpful for your channel/website? I have a lot of ideas you may like? I also want to say, thank you for saying Jenn (Jennifer is still okay to say! I still like Jennifer but hearing Jenn from time to time is really meaningful!) and spelling it the way I like! That is such a little thing but I really appreciate it(: Thank you soooo much, you have no idea how helpful you are and I am grateful of you and what you do!
Jennifer Hall
2016-10-28 23:22:48 +0000 UTCI said it in my livestream... but I have a video about it for more info :) xoxox I promise it's not as scary as you think. xox
Kati Morton
2016-10-28 23:22:23 +0000 UTCThank you :) great advice as always
Emily May
2016-10-28 23:21:40 +0000 UTCthanks
Megan Corieri
2016-10-28 22:57:30 +0000 UTCHi kati my therapist wants to start doing some emdr therapy next week I'm not really sure what this is or what to expect kind of nervous about it.. what is it and what can I expect from it?
Megan Corieri
2016-10-28 22:10:03 +0000 UTCHi kati ... I have been triggered a lot lately and I am trying my hardest not to SH or purge but I have found myself drinking ALOT! Why is that? X thanks X
Bethany Laura Anderson
2016-10-28 22:05:56 +0000 UTCI have 2 things. 1 can you talk about asexuality. And the second is about college sexual assault. There have been a lot at my college this school year and I'm trying to get faculty to create more awareness, less shame, get rid of myths, and other things. Any tips on how to be heard and what to make sure I include?
Ashley Rokisky
2016-10-28 21:47:56 +0000 UTCHi Nicky, Thank you for the reply, I completely get what you are saying, I guess it just feels like she took the control and choice away from me, like it wasn't her story to tell and I just feel so betrayed by it all. It was my aunt not a friend which makes it worse, because I didn't think she would ever hurt me, plus the fact that it came out when her and my mam were having an argument. Thank you again for your reply, it means a lot. xx
Emily
2016-10-28 21:44:33 +0000 UTCWhere are you katiiiii?!?! Hehe x x
Nicky Fitch
2016-10-28 21:14:04 +0000 UTCHey Kati, There was a post in the FAQ section of your website I was really hoping to hear a professional answer for... it was about revictimization, and it seems like many people are in the same wondering as I... To sum it up, basically the first thing someone says when you disclose sexual abuse/assault (including therapists) is "it is not your fault" but if something has occurred more than once (i.e. molestation/abuse as a child, date rape, sexual assault as a teen and adult), it is hard to believe that we are not somehow wearing a sign or that there isn't something wrong with us. I am really, REALLY interested to hear your perspective on this topic, either in livestream OR anytime!
EJ
2016-10-28 21:02:38 +0000 UTCI have a friend who often cancels plans very last minute or just doesn't turn up a. It can make me feel really paranoid and rejected but although I've told her that it upsets me she continues to do it. She has depression and she always apologises afterwards and says she was having a bad day. I value her friendship and I want to be a good friend but I don't know what to do because although I know her depression is contributing to her behavior it still really hurts me. Do you hae any advice? X
Emily May
2016-10-28 20:57:17 +0000 UTCI know I'm not Kati - or a therapist - but I was abused too, and I just want you to know, that the ONLY person who should be embarrassed and ashamed about your friend telling ... is the person who did this to you!! ...... I'm not saying that what your friend did was okay - it really, really wasn't!! X x I hope that Kati does pick up on your question! X x
Nicky Fitch
2016-10-28 20:42:58 +0000 UTCWhen things go wrong my thoughts turn to suicide. I have BPD but have been turned down for more therapy on the NHS. I can't go private so please please give me tips of how I can change these automatic thoughts or is it just a sign that I need to do more work on my depression?
Jennifer Mackay
2016-10-28 19:24:58 +0000 UTCHey Kati(: can you talk about flashbacks and "body memories" more? I tend to wake up and get on the bus and thoughts of my past come up, this is now an everyday occurrence. I am still a little lost on body memories -- it's when you physically feel the abuse again when it's not happening, right? How to handled this? Especially when therapy is weeks away. What can we do when it's so overpowering and taking control? Thank youβ€ keep staying amazing as always!
Jennifer Hall
2016-10-28 19:10:33 +0000 UTCHi Kati, Someone I trusted more than anyone else in the world has really betrayed me and broken my confidence by telling that I was abused as a child. I am really struggling with this right now and feeling really stuck because on one side I don't know how to move past the anger I feel toward her and then on the other side I feel really guilty for being angry, Like I want to let it go and go back to normal, but I just can't seem to. I was just wondering if you have any advice on how I can move past all this and try to forgive her? Thank you so much, love your videos. xoxo
Emily
2016-10-28 19:05:56 +0000 UTCHey Kati π€ could you talk a little about how to break the chains of emotional detachment please? My counsellor and I have talked about how I don't cry in sessions when talking about deep issues ... and about my frustration with not being able to feel! Do you have any advice how I can begin to feel again please?
Nicky Fitch
2016-10-28 18:32:34 +0000 UTC
