Getting the help I need/Friendships with your therapist/I'm getting worse & don't know what to do!

1. I'm going to give this a shot. It took many years to finally break breakdown to be exact forty-seven years, I am  now 52,  and up until I was fifty I have always been  someone's  victim,  however I didn't see it that way.  I was  sure it was me,  Society teaches us this.  From an early l age I learned  that you are all you have. I  learned  you can only count on yourself,   no one  really cares no one really wants to help. Yes, as you guessed  it I've been diagnosed  with BPD. But that's not all I also  was diagnosed with  disassociation personality disorder better known as  DID.  As well as multitudes  of other things. My biggest  issue right now is I've been through many therapist and hospitalizations. Though I've made progress diagnosis ll  the  changes. My therapist stated to me that  dissociation is not  a diagnosis rather something they are trying to rule out. I'm not hung up on the diagnosis  per say however  it does make me feel like  she doesn't believe me. Currently, I am in a downward spiral picking up speed as I go.  I have no insurance, no support, and it seems like no help. I can't just hang in anymore how do I really get people to see I want help, but I am very, very low on fight as I no longer know why I keep trying. Since I have nothing left to give I have lost almost every human contact. I have a few left and that keep the engine running. I just get worried feeling the fumes will soon dissipate as well. 

2. Kati would you be willing to do a video on friendship with therapists why it isn't a good idea what to look for in a therapist that are warning signs and how to heal after this has happened and process what is normal to feel afterward and resources that can help with healing. 

3. Hi Kati, I am in therapy for a while now, but recently I'm having a really hard time. my therapist suggested to meet twice a week but it's too expensive. I feel like she's just watching me falling apart and not doing anything. Everything she seem to say just makes me angry and i end up pushing her away thinking she just doesn't care about me. I’m getting worse and worse and i don't know what i should do! I hope you can help. Thank you so much! Love u!