Therapist Saying Too Much?/Child on Child Abuse/Fear of Intimacy/Grieving a Friendship

1. What are the guidelines when it comes to self disclosure on the therapists end? As a client are there ways for me to tell if what my therapist is sharing is appropriate or not? Even if they shared it believing it would be helpful to build rapport could it be not okay?

2. Hey Kati... I have a question. I was about 6 or 7 years old when a female family member almost 4 years older started to show me things sexually.  Eventually she started having sex with me. At the time I thought we were just playing a game and I wasn't scared. This went on for a few years and I began to feel horrible shame and guilt as I got older.  I feel like it is my fault because I never told this person to stop. I developed a fear of being pregnant as a kid because I didn't understand that girls couldn't get each other pregnant. I started to hurt myself around the age of 8 or 9 to kill anything that could be growing inside of me. I guess my question is, was this normal childhood experimenting that I blew out of proportion or was I sexually abused? Does it count as sexual abuse if the other child is only around the age of 10 and doesn't fully understand either? That is the part that has me confused.  Thank you for all that you do!

3. So every time I meet up with a guy who wants something more than just friendship I feel like I want to run away. I just can’t handle it. I mean in the moment I manage to make everything seem cool, but afterward I want to cut off all contact with the person and never meet up. This can’t be a normal reaction, right? Is there anything I do to stop this from happening? A little background that I know is part of the reason why I do this. When I was about 6 I was touched inappropriately, no penetration, by an older cousin, probably about 16. I told my parents because I thought it might be wrong, and my parents told me they took care of it. So it was never talked about again but I still had to see this cousin around the holidays or other family gatherings. I am currently in therapy and have been off and on for the past five years.

4. Was wondering if you could do something on grieving a friendship? Not even sure if that's a real thing but I've lost someone I thought was my best friend and it feels as though they've died but I still see them around all the time. I'm finding that I'm coping with it as if that actually happened and I'm not sure if that's normal or healthy? This friend is 20 years older than me and almost a surrogate mother at times and I would hug her all the time as reassurance for me - does that make it harder for me to accept the friendship is over even though it was toxic for me personally? I was her 'protégé' as it were and really looked up to her but am now being told that she was manipulating me the whole time

My video on Fear of Intimacy: https://youtu.be/Oag0ItwtgUE

Video on child on child sexual abuse: https://youtu.be/N2gmrXHRpes