Loneliness / Music Sensitivity / Stuck in Relationship / BPD Treatment

1. I have been feeling lonely a lot lately. What can I do to stop feeling lonely? 

2. I think this may be a part of the old PTSD... I'm VERY sensitive to music. I know it's an evocative medium but even happy songs can leave me in floods of tears (I'm a HUGE crier when I can let my guard down but never used to be - non crier before the bigger T's happened). So when I'm around friends, driving with said friends, at parties, there's always music (in the air- thank you Twin Peaks). I struggle so much not to cry. I've tried exposure therapy on myself which worked with dentists and needles (faint applause for being my own guinea pig - LOVE dentists and don't mind needles now) but I can't seem to crack this crying business. One line of a song pops into my head and I'm a mess for hours. I have a 'safe' playlist and bluetooth headphones for shops and such but I can't block out the surprises, social scenes and sudden flashes of song that crackle across the old noggin. It's very inconvenient, energy sapping and I was wondering if you've heard of anyone else with this issue. My psychologist is a trauma specialist and is interested in this bit of news as she's not come across it before. 

3. How do you deal/cope with a situation that is causing you a lot of distress but that you cannot change? (Just so you know what I want I mean - my husband and I moved overseas eight years ago, had a child five years ago. I want/need to leave him but legally am not allowed to take our son to live elsewhere, so am stuck here). I suffer with depression/self harm quite badly anyway and this situation is dragging me further and further down, earlier this year I was in a really bad place (actually I just mailed something to you last week about that in a "thank you" kinda way)  and don't want to go back there. How do you make peace with having to live a life that you don't like and are powerless to change? How can I be (was going to write happier!) at least functional? Not even sure that makes sense now I have written it down. I guess how can you be OK with something that makes you so sad but that you cannot change? 

4. I have a question! I'm just about to start treatment for BPD at an outpatient  personality clinic, which means I'll have to quit seeing the therapist I'm going to now. He's been my therapist for 4 months, and we're just starting to make progress. The last therapist I had quit after 6 months, but I've been very lucky with both of them in that we had good chemistry immediately. Now, I'm terrified I won't get along with the therapist I'll get at the clinic. (I'm not 100% sure I'll even get to do individual therapy as it seems to be mostly group based, but I'm hoping it can be arranged if needed.) I don't know how I'd let them know I want a new one. I also have a strong preference for male therapists, which I can't explain and I'm honestly a little embarrassed for, and I don't know how to let them know that. So my question is, what do I do if I can't get along with the new therapist or psychiatrist, and how do I let them know?