More book stories! Moving onto Chapter 8!
Added 2024-08-27 21:22:25 +0000 UTCHey hey! I am looking for stories about getting defensive, using a particular defense mechanism, or pushing people away so that we feel safer. This is my chapter about puffer fishing and why we do it.. xoxo Feel free to leave your stories in the comments below this post of message them to me if you prefer :) and don't worry, I never share your real names in the book. xox
Comments
I think im puffer fishing more often then not x) I pufferfish when someone shows, hostility or defensiveness I Pufferfish when they talk to me like im "less then", like I need to be talked to differently then others. I even found my self pufferfishing like crazy in therapy because the therapist talks in this way that feels like exagerated empaty, but so empty and shallow at the same time, and it made me feel like I could not lean into it and believe in her tone of voice, or her words. I mean I could hear that those sentences are something she says quite often, and I find that triggering, and I have learned to know better because I was struggling my whole life with this exact thing. It used to be my mother, sometimes she was acting as if I could lean on her, let my guard down, that she was a happy and fun mother, but it only lasted until others went away and we were alone, and everytime I leaned into it because I desperatly needed to but felt that the "bridge" she had set up for me, didnt hold when I tried to walk on it. And I just know this so well, so my therapist who had learned that this is how she does her therapy thing, just kept me at a distance by doing that and I sat there frozen with a look on my face that was everything but inviting, and had this overwhelming urge to fight her or run away and never come back. Which is something Ive done when faced with it throughout my life. I used to draw this spiky shield between us when saw me react and asked me to explain. I felt so angry, and for her to just get away from me. like I could bite if she didnt.
Linn
2024-09-12 20:34:26 +0000 UTCThank you Brianna :) So helpful!! xoxo
Kati Morton
2024-08-28 20:13:11 +0000 UTCThank you so much Peita!! xoxo
Kati Morton
2024-08-28 20:13:02 +0000 UTCI often find myself being defensive by using the mechanism of emotional distancing, particularly with men. I push people away as a way to protect myself and feel safer, especially when I sense that a situation could lead to vulnerability or emotional pain. This habit stems from past experiences where being close to someone meant risking hurt. By creating that emotional distance, I feel more in control, but it also means I miss out on deeper connections. It's a way to manage anxiety and protect myself, even if it means keeping people at a distance đŠ
Peita Brown
2024-08-27 22:07:35 +0000 UTCWhen I feel that someone is getting too close, I will start to pull away, but I won't let them know that. I'm great at hiding my real emotions behind a bright smile and pretending that my world isn't falling apart. But I can't let anyone in too close because if they see how bad I'm hurting, they could use it against me. So I just make sure to be extra friendly, and go the extra mile to help everyone else out. I'm the person everyone comes to with all of their problems and worries. I help them figure out what to do next and send them on their way. When they try to ask what's going on, internally I panic and shove my emotions down further. But I just laugh and say I'm fine and that nothing is new. I have found out the hard way that people will only use your weaknesses against you. You can only trust yourself. It's so easy to keep people at arm's length when they think they know everything about you.
Brianna Elmore
2024-08-27 21:42:00 +0000 UTC
