Kingdom Come: Ch 21

As we advanced through the cave, there was less ice and more slime. A lot more slime. More slime than I ever needed to see or experience. It was white, thick, and the jokes were so obvious I couldn’t bring myself to make them. I would be lowering myself to make those jokes. The apple was hanging so low that it brushed the suggestively sticky floor.

“I feel like we’re walking through some teenage boy’s secret cum sock drawer,” Suri muttered behind me.

“That’s nasty, gurl. Why you so nasty?” I was in the lead, moving slowly, carefully, and cautiously. Suri was mounted on Cutthroat, who had buffs for rough terrain and the claws to cut through anything that stuck to her feet. Karalti followed up the rear, only barely able to fit through the slimed-up tunnel.

“Well, am I wrong? It fuckin’ stinks in here.”

“No.” I eyed a snot stalactite hanging from the ceiling. “This is the place where unwashed Fleshlights go to die.”

“Eww! Hector!” Rin exclaimed. 

Suri groaned. “Somehow, you just managed to make this experience even worse.”

“Now you just hold on there a minute. You went there. I restrained myself, but no. You saw that slippery white slope, and you slid all the way down. You WALLOWED in it.”

"You can stop now."

“It’s way too late to stop, sugarplum.”

She rolled her eyes. “Spoken like every man in the world.” 

A vibration passed through the soles of our feet, followed by a brief rumble from somewhere beneath us. We froze, rooted to the spot.

“It’s still far away,” Rin said uncertainly. “Below?”

“Yup. And to the right.” Karalti gestured with the tip of her muzzle, nostrils flaring. “Smells like dead things.”

“Sure does.” I began walking again, trying to place my feet as lightly as I could. “This place is starting to give me a giant spider vibe. But where are the little mobs?”

Suri held the torch in one hand, her sword hilt resting in the other. The blade was over one shoulder. “Good question.”

We hadn’t seen a single living thing since entering the Snot Caves. No monsters, no insects. Nada. Part of me was grateful that we didn’t have anything attacking us and sucking up our precious potions. The rest of me was on edge about it. It did remind me a lot of the slime fish’s lair, though this was much larger than the waterhole where the Allosauruses had met their maker. “I hope we aren’t in something’s stomach.”

When we came to a fork in the passage, we headed right - and there, like a sign pointing the way, was another dead acolyte of Burna. He was bound to the passage wall with slime, his shaven head hanging loose. There was at least an inch of ooze over his entire body, just translucent enough for us to make out his face.

“Man. This got really dark, really fast.” I stayed just behind Suri, ready to Jump at the first sign of life. 

The cave system got narrower, forcing Karalti to crawl. It was tempting to get her to use her new Polymorph ability, but if we did, she’d be stuck like that for an hour - and we couldn’t afford it. She huffed and struggled behind us as we came up on a point where the tunnel narrowed dramatically into a tunnel of bluish-white slime. It was caked on like web, forming a downward-sloping funnel into… somewhere.

I eyed the black hole and nodded. “Boss arena.”

“Yeah.” Rin swallowed. “I-I still have nightmares about Andrik, guys. I don’t know-”

“They get better with time and exposure.” Suri was unusually serious as she lit another torch from the one in her hand, then threw it down the hole like a burning javelin. It sailed through the darkness about twenty feet, then landed and caught on the slime. We could see that the tunnel opened up further down.

Karalti rumbled anxiously behind us. “I can’t fit down there.”

“Can you dig it out?” I asked her.

She nodded. “Yeah, but it could take hours. If Vash is down there…”

“Then we don’t have hours.” Fuming, I turned to look back at the hole, and ran over my choices. “I’d rather have you strong and late than weakened and with us from the start of the fight. Once we have time to train you in human combat, we will. But for now, we need to go ahead and see if we can find our monk.”

“Okay. I’ll be digging the whole time.” Karalti snorted, pulling herself another few feet forward. “And when I catch up…?”

“Torch whatever’s in there.” I rubbed her cheekbone, then clapped her on the neck and went to join Suri at the front. “Get your buffs ready, guys. You got spare mana, Rin?”

“Yes. I was able to siphon some from the Ix’tamo, too.” Her eyes were wide as she pressed her lips together, trying to steel herself.

I regarded the others levelly. “We work in a triangle formation: me, Suri and Cutthroat. If it’s a swarm boss, Rin, I want you to focus on defense. Try to stay in the center of the triangle. If it’s a single boss monster, hang at the back of the arena. If you can find the limit of its Area of Effect attacks, hang back there and only come in to cast spells. Suri, if it’s a single monster, you need to take point and tank it out while I flank. If it’s a swarm, let me take point - I have some moves that can hit up to ten bogeys at a time. Sound solid?”

“Cutthroat’s got a Pack Tactics bonus to her damage if she’s within twenty feet of us,” Suri said. “I’ll try to keep her in range. Your Jump carries you about 50ft, right?”

“Yeah, if I combine it with a dash. Up or forward or a bit of both.”

She nodded. “Then we’ll be the flat side of the triangle. I’ll keep Cutthroat in range. She fights better when she doesn’t have a rider.”

I nodded. “Y-shaped formation then. If it’s a swarm, we each take a third and Rin is our flag in the middle. If there’s any kind of hill in there, we should get on it. Agreed?”

“Sounds good.” Suri gave me a short nod. “Rin?”

“Uh… yeah? Sure.” Rin was regarding us with something almost like awe.

“Then let’s go and yee-haw this bitch harder than it’s ever been yee-haww’d before.” Suri and I high-fived without even looking at each other, knowing the hand would be there.

We made our way down slowly, leery of traps. The slime had the same static charge that the stuff at the cave entry had, discharging with little pops as we clambered over it. Unlike the slime used to trap the monks, it was firm - almost like soft rubber. Electricity - or mana - flashed through the substance in hairline patterns of light. It reminded me a lot of the mana-infused crystal that made up the visor of my helmet, albeit squishier.

“Something’s listening to us walk,” Suri remarked as another rumble reverberated under the floor. “It’s not a spider, but I bet this acts like a web.”

I grunted. “Oh, yeah - it knows we’re here all right.”

The tunnel was only about sixty feet long, narrowing to a point small enough that Cutthroat had to chop away some slime to squeeze through. It deposited us into a large cavern hung with bioluminescent stalactites and giant pink jelly mushrooms. The ceiling cast a soft blue light over the roughly textured, hard, slime covered ground… which deepened into a liquid pool of the stuff at the center-rear of the cavern. It was just like the Swamp Hag’s slime trap, but larger. Behind the pool was another door, which was sealed with a glowing plug of crystallized slime.

Suri clicked her tongue, and pointed to her left while she split to the right. Cutthroat rattled, lifting her feathers as she paced where she was directed, snapping her claw arms fitfully. They got within twenty feet of the pool before it began to vibrate, and then the ground shook as something began to tunnel beneath us. Quickly.

“Okay, Rin - start buffing.” I shifted into position, took a deep breath, and puffed it out.

The thing that pulled itself up out of the pit of slime wasn’t a Swamp Hag. Maybe it had been, once upon a time. The core of it was that of a giant, purplish eel-like creature, with no eyes and a small three-lobed mouth. But this one was covered in segmented plates of armor, and walked on eight long, prehensile limbs, like extendable starfish legs covered in spines. It slammed its three-clawed feet into the crystallized floor of the cave, anchoring itself as its bulk slithered  out of the pit of slime.

I felt a tic start at the corner of my eye. “Alright. The spider vibe was more relevant than I imagined.”

The ‘head’ of the [Swamp Hag Broodmother] oriented on us as we all took a big step back toward the entry. Its little mouth lobes opened, as if in surprise, and then unfurled into a parasol of spines, slime, and... electricity.

“It’s turbocharged. Great.” I concentrated until dark energy shot down along the haft of my spear. “Watch out for AoE!”

“Spera, Cil, Kain!” Rin cried from the back of the party. Her spell suffused Cutthroat with a dim blue light.

Karalti roared in the distance as me, Suri and Cutthroat charged the Broodmother, breaking up to flank it from either side as it screeched and whipped its body back and forth. Slime flew everywhere as I Jumped, Spear raised to strike, and got knocked off course by a wad of electrically charged goo that hit me like a taser. 

[Broodmother uses Electroweb! 175HP damage! You are Stunned!]

The electricity sucked the strength from my limbs and sent me sprawling. My teeth clacked together, my arms and legs spasmed. I smelled burning hair as I clawed my way up in time to see the writhing worm lunge at Suri, who turned its jaws away with her sword. Cutthroat screeched and leaped on it with all four limbs from the other side, slashing, kicking and biting.

[Cutthroat uses Multiattack! 268 damage!]

“Wait for the boss pattern!” Rin called from behind us. “Hector, hold still! Spera, Cil, Kain!”

A blue aura suffused my body, and suddenly I felt lighter and faster - a Haste spell. Rin was buffing all three of us while her turrets fired on the Broodmother. 

Suri charged in with a roar, red energy rippling over her sword. The Broodmother tensed, and then the electricity crackling in the fan of its mouth surged and flooded over its entire body like a suit of armor. Cutthroat was blown off, yelping and smoking. Suri’s sword hit the field and bounced off it in a shower of sparks and sent her stumbling back. She snarled with pain, her hair standing on end. The Broodmother whirled around, smashing all eight of its feet into the ground as its body continued to ripple with rings of brilliant azure light.

“AOE! Get off the floor!” I shouted on pure instinct, bounding off the ground to cling to the wall like a spider.

Rin shrieked and jumped onto the back of her turret, but there was nowhere for Suri and Cutthroat to go as the Broodmother hunched over and then unleashed a torrent of electricity across the ground. The [Plasma Blast] swallowed them both, knocking them to the floor. Their HP rings drained into the orange zone. We’d hardly even hit the damn boss yet.

“Fuck you, you big zappy bitch!” I kicked off the wall like a cricket before the monster could recover from the power move, and at the peak of the leap, I discharged my own atom bomb. A fan of lances rained down on the Broodmother. The energy rebounded, shattered, and was flung down around me as I rammed the Spear into its soft flesh. My AP drained to almost nothing as the crackling spears of darkness impacted the giant worm like Stinger missiles, and refilled abruptly as the damage piled on. But not as much damage as I’d been expecting.

[You hit Broodmother for 1983 damage!]

[Broodmother shrugs off Darkness! Half damage!]

“Fuck! It’s a Light elemental! Karalti, use your Bioscan!” A prehensile leg caught me like a backhand, electrocuting me even as it slapped me off the Broodmother’s body. I flew back and slammed into one of the webs of slime. 130HP vaporized into thin air.

“Okay! Hold on!” Karalti stopped digging and concentrated. The air around her throbbed and darkened, and then the Broodmother’s information appeared:

Swamp Hag Broodmother

Stranged Boss Creature

Sex: Hermaphroditic

Level 32

HP: 12,449/15,000

MP: 500/500

Weak Against Gravity & Time

Strong Against Darkness

Fuck fuck fuck. We were all out of Gravity or Time magic.

“Time magic!” Rin cried from the back of the room. “Spera, Kia, Bah’in!”

The Broodmother was suffused with a cool white aura that warped the air around it, and its movements became sluggish and ponderous. A Slow spell!

“I’m almost through!” Karalti resumed clawing at the slime plugging the entryway. “Hold on!”

“Focus buffs on Hector!” Suri snarled. She threw down her sword, pulled her axes, and hunched down into a feral crouch as a wave of heat pushed through the air around her.

[Suri activates Battle Fury!]

I cut the slime around myself and dropped to the floor as our tank rushed in, half against as fast as she’d been before. The Broodmother lashed down to bite, but Suri dodged the blow and spun in like a dervish, hacking into it with both weapons. Ichor sprayed from the wounds, and I grinned.

[Broodmother is Bleeding! HP: 11,706/15,000]

The monster hissed, striking down like a snake at Cutthroat as she sprinted forward and latched onto the worm’s flank.

The Broodmother went crazy, lashing from side to side. Suddenly, it began to secrete slime - lots of it. 

[Broodmother uses Restoration! Heals 1500HP!]

[Broodmother’s Damage Reduction has increased!]

Healing magic? I charged in while Suri kept the mouth end occupied, slashing with the Spear until I built up enough AP to pull off the high-damage moves again. It was resistant to my element, but the lances of Darkness still took out a significant chunk of HP. We whittled her down to 10,000 in a matter of minutes, and then she began to arc with coils of electricity like a massive Tesla Coil.

“Jump!” I screamed at the others, leaping up to cling with Spider Climb once again.

But the Broodmother didn’t discharge electricity across the floor again: This time, she swung her prehensile limbs like whips, shattering crystal with every blow. It was impossible to dodge. One of them slammed into me across the thighs, hitting me for 310 HP and sending me spinning and then tumbling across the floor. One caught Suri right in the chest, flinging her into a rocky outcrop of stones. Cutthroat tanked the blows out, howling with pain as electricity arced across her scales. But then Karalti finally wormed her head, neck and torso through a hole just big enough to accommodate her wings, and belched a narrow plume of blazing white liquid right onto the Broodmother’s bulk. The Ghost Fire burst into flames as soon as it struck, and the worm shrieked in agony, lashing out with gobs of electrified slime even as crossbow bolts continued to pepper it from afar.

[Ghost Fire deals 1340 damage!]

[Rin Lu deals 20 damage!]

Panting and limping, I spammed heals and held my distance. Across the room, Suri did the same thing - and then her armor vanished from her body, leaving her in her leggings, a halter top, and a cloud of pure battle lust as she activated her key Path ability: Primal Rage.

“HURRRAAAHHH!” The Beserker, supernaturally fast from multiple stacking buffs, tore in toward the Broodmother and began to chop her like a tree. The boss let loose a jolt of electricity. Suri snapped her teeth like a dog, soaking the damage, and powered on.

[Suri deals 890 damage!]

[Suri’s Rage builds as she is injured! Damage reduction and attack power drastically increases!]

Suddenly, I had a bright idea. While the Broodmother struck at Cutthroat and Suri, I ran along the edge of the wall, Jumped and flipped in midair to land on the monster’s back. “Time for some voodoo!”

I landed the Jump, sinking the head of the Spear into the creature’s rubbery flesh. The slime insulated it from the Fire element the weapon delivered, but I twisted it out and bounced back enough to dash, then hit my Blood Sprint to Blood Storm to Death by a Thousand Cuts combo. They were all Darkness-elemental abilities, dealing reduced damage - but the big slimy bitch wasn’t immune to Curses. A shadowy nimbus pulsed along the seven-foot length of the spear, sucking the light from the air and twisting my guts with a nasty, icy sensation that tore from my body and slammed deep into the Broodmother’s. 

[Broodmother is Cursed! -4% attack power!]

[You gain +4% attack power and +10% damage reduction from your opponent’s attacks!]

[You deal 725 reduced Darkness damage!]

[Suri’s Rage builds as she is injured! Damage reduction and attack power drastically increases!]

“Come on! It’s over half way! We can do this!” Suri’s HP was also below half; mine was creeping back up into that weird zone between orange and green. Rin was almost untouched, protected by her turrets, but Hopper and Lovelace had been soaking all of that AOE and were starting to smoke and spit sparks. Cutthroat was in the red, clawing slime from the body of the Broodmother even though she had to be in agony.

I made a decision. I vaulted from the Broodmother’s back, bounced off Cutthroat’s back and landed on the ground in front of her. She stopped mauling the boss for a second, turning on me with her hook-arms raised and her jaws gaping. I jammed a potion in her gaping mouth.

“Drink! Drink it all!” I slapped five assorted healing poultices onto her, until she looked like she was covered in nicotine patches. “No whine! Only drink!”

The Hookwing glugged in confusion, but her HP ring jumped back into the green as the Broodmother tensed, and then unleashed waves of electricity throughout the cavern.

[Broodmother uses Plasma Burst!]

[It’s super-effective! x2 Light damage!]

[You take 998 damage! You are Stunned! HP: 66/1362]

The blast flung us all back, turning everything white. It barely even hurt: a flash, a pop, and I came to on my side, my mouth and nose full of a metallic burning stench. Over the thundering in my ears, I heard Karalti’s bestial roar, and then Suri’s. The sound of one of the turrets firing, and Rin’s squeal of pain as something finally breached her defenses and hit her. 

[Suri hits Broodmother for 1263 damage!]

[Ghost Fire hits for 1340 damage!]

[Broodmother is on Fire! HP: 4122/15,000]

God, we were so close. Groaning, I rolled to my back, just in time to see one of the Broodmother whip one of her electrified legs toward me, blurring with speed. The shadow sliced across my face. I braced myself to die.