Chapter 10 feedback
Added 2024-12-17 06:50:04 +0000 UTCChapter 10 almost didn't make it because it felt too different from the rest of the chapters so I'd love to know what you guys loved and didn't like
Also I'm not sure when but Felix will have an entry chapter after the Christmas Special
Comments
I had the same amount of time as previous chapters, it's just this one was a bit shorter due to like 3 reasons. 1. I cut things out because I felt it was too drawn out (which turned out to be a mistake) 2.a lot of coding stuff 3. I figured if I went right into the things I want to with suki it'll lose some of the impact I want. Also I appreciate the offer! English is my main language there is some unintentional typos (that I try to fix) but there's others who are left behind because it's a phone simulator
Trriggered Bakery
2024-12-17 23:58:22 +0000 UTCngl this chapter is a lil too short but i understand your pumping these out fast. also the grammer at times is not good and doesnt make sense. If you are ESL im willing to help you make some sentences make sense
secretSupportter
2024-12-17 23:52:43 +0000 UTCthank you! this is what I wanted to hear, that part was originally longer but I was afraid it was too out of place so I cut it out (and now I see that was a dumb idea)
Trriggered Bakery
2024-12-17 16:07:08 +0000 UTCI’ll leave it at good not quite great because it felt a bit jarring at first not knowing what character/characters you are playing as especially since the last suki chapter was from “our” pov/felicias cucks pov. Maybe this is a symptom of a bigger problem where it’s sometimes hard to remember character relationships/we don’t know character relationships. Maybe a long term idea to resolve some of that could be a character bio or reference sheet somewhere that details things like age, height, weight, relationships with characters etc. just a thought I had while writing this up. The other thing I’ll say about this chapter is it felt a little disjointed in the second half when compared to other chapters you’ve written. The first sex pic kinda comes out of no where and the response to it is a bit odd since you basically without hesitation say “yeah I love this tell me more adoptive mom.” I know this is an ntr game and we don’t have to beat around the bush but it just felt a bit choppy how that sequence took place. Maybe if the sequence of him taking her phone could have lasted a bit longer/had a couple more pics so that the player character has time to realize how much he likes this instead of just one pic and a couple text boxes and then her taking over the convo trying to defuse the situation. All and all I really liked the direction of this chapter it’s a good break from Felicia herself and opens the world up a bit with these new characters which is awesome. Looking forward to more like this but could use a bit of polish around the edges.
Sundeigh
2024-12-17 09:27:28 +0000 UTC
