[Book One] Chapter 4 – Roots of Despair

(Author Note: If you have problems with symbols being displayed incorrectly, there is a chapter PDF available that you can download where such problems do not occur.)

[System Status Sheet]

Name: Iva White
Race: Awakened Weeping Willow Tree Seed [Female]
Age: 27 days
Race Level: 1/20 [System Message—Information Update: Max. Lvl required for possible Evolutions]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Stats]

Health: 4/5
Energy Reserves: 35/55
Mana: 6/5

___________________

Nearly four weeks had passed since Iva’s reincarnation into this world. And yet—her root still wasn’t big enough for the System to acknowledge it.

Frustrating. Iva repeated the thought endlessly in her head.

Thankfully, her status sheet provided enough information for her to draw some conclusions about her situation.

For one, her energy reserves had steadily increased over the past weeks, and along with it, the space inside her inner dimension seemed to expand.

At least… that was how it felt to Iva. Whether her Seed Body itself had actually grown, she couldn’t tell. But there was one thing she was sure of: Growth and Evolution were not directly connected.

Her level hadn’t increased either, despite this slow expansion.

Did that mean evolution influenced growth? Or was it the other way around? Would I be locked out of certain evolutionary paths if I grew too fast before meeting the required level? The thought unsettled her. She had read plenty about evolution in games and novels, but those were just fantasies. This was real. So Iva had no way of knowing what rules would apply here—and which wouldn’t.

Another thing that bothered her—her health regeneration was painfully slow.

Even after four whole weeks, it still wasn’t fully restored. What are the conditions for my health to regenerate? Could it be boosted in critical situations?

Iva sighed. Too many questions and no direct answers—just pieces.

Well, and the occasional mockery from the System.

…

She glanced at Orbinia, the fractured mana orb she had named, floating inside her core.

What do you think, Orbinia? Iva inquired.

As expected, it didn’t answer. It never did. But that didn’t matter. In this sickening loneliness, Orbinia was her only friend.

Maybe it was strange, talking to an inanimate object. But if she stopped… if she was left alone with her thoughts for too long…

She hated it. Being alone sucked. And the longer the loneliness dragged on, the more her thoughts turned against her.

You’re useless.
You’re pathetic.
You’re nothing.

The voices bellowed in her core. They weren’t many, but they were cruel, and every time they repeated themselves, flashes from Marco’s memories appeared before her inner eye.

Most of the time, Iva saw their father. Other times, it was a boss or maybe a girlfriend. It was gruesome to watch Marco’s dwindling torch of life be blown out bit by bit, the person he could have been slowly shutting down.

Iva wondered if Marco would have called themselves Iva too, had they survived—if they had ever found the courage to break free from the chains that bound them But he never got the chance, and all that remained was a fractured soul that had freed Iva, the hidden part.

Yet, even knowing this, she refused to see Marco as just a seed that never sprouted, replaced by her in the name of freedom. They were the same—yet distant.

Like a vase, once whole, now shattered.

Perhaps in another life, someone would have picked up the pieces, pieced them together, and traced over the cracks with gold. Like kintsukuroi—the art of mending the broken with beauty, honoring the scars rather than hiding them.

But there was no Gold here.

No hands to put her back together.

Only cracks. Only fractures.

Only her.

Still, something else bothered her. She knew there was more. Because she knew someone had put her there, hidden. And the 𝚏̵͔͗𝚕̷̗͆𝚎̷̬̚𝚜̶͓̋𝚑̵̪̕ 𝚙̴̲̋𝚞̶̩̿𝚙̸͖̽𝚙̷̘̒𝚎̶̣̊𝚝̷ around.

She shuddered, pushing the thoughts deep into the back of her mind and turned to Orbinia again.

"What do you think the world outside looks like? Two suns? Three moons? Maybe a weird mix of both?"

Sigh—the orb, of course, remained silent.

If there’s a System, maybe it’s a fantasy world. With dragons, elves, fluffy foxes, and… uuh, all that. Or maybe not. Who knows!

She scoffed. Well, I do know there are at least some Earth-like plants around… I mean, I am one, right? Oh gosh, what if I’m some weird tentacle tree that just happens to have an earthen name?!

She shook the thought away. There was no point in worrying about something so distant when she still couldn’t even grow properly.

For now, all she could do was wait.

Did you know that being alone all the time with only your thoughts lets you create super cool mind-games? No? Then be surprised!

I call this one ‘The Game of Counting Seconds’! Iva announced proudly to her mana orb.

She had invented a new game, after all.

So of course, Iva would deserve a round of applause…

…that never came.

I call it 'Counting the Seconds'! The one who stops loses! she announced again, trying to tickle a laugh out of her audience—count: Orbinia.

Orbinia, as usual, said nothing.

Okay? Okaaay, let's go! One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six…

That was seven days ago—and she was still counting.

603,458… 603,459… 603,460…

Iva paused, eyeing her mana orb with a mischievous grin. Ohh, Orbinia, did you really think I wouldn’t notice you stopped counting two thousand seconds ago?!

She gasped in mock betrayal. The punishment is cuddles!

She attempted to hug the lifeless mana orb.

But—

…She had no arms.

…Or a body.

Silence.

…Gee, someone is shyyyyyy, she whispered. Next time we cuddle, okay? Oki? Okii!

Iva’s mind was in shambles.

Being trapped here, watching a root grow for nearly two months had pushed her past sanity.

There was nothing else to observe. Nothing else to do.

And so, all her stress, anger, and sadness—

They had nowhere to go.

No release. No escape.

So, they festered.

Rotting her from the inside out…

…which made a few entities watching her rather happy.

Iva stopped. Stopped thinking. Stopped hoping. Stopped existing in any meaningful way.

Her thoughts, once restless and tangled like earphone cables you forgot for a second in your pocket, now drifted like wilted leaves on a stagnant pond—the lifeless surface of her deadened soul.

So she did the only logical thing: she forced herself into hibernation. Not out of strategy. But out of necessity. It was survival—pure and simple. Because if she kept feeling, kept thinking, this unbearable loneliness would break her. She didn’t realize she was already broken beyond the point of return.

At first, it helped. The numbness was a brief escape, a shield against the suffocating silence. But it never truly subsided. The ache, the emptiness—it remained. Lurking. Waiting.

That was Iva’s only purpose now—to wait. To wait and hope she grew. To wait for something—anything—to happen. To wait and hope to be useful again…

To whom she would be useful, she had no idea. Not that it mattered anymore. And yet, somewhere deep inside, a lingering defiance refused to let go.

Iva wanted it to matter. 

Iva wanted to at least be useful to herself. To not repeat Marco’s mistakes. Even if she had no clue what that truly meant.

But it had to mean something, right? Right?! She screamed…

Or she would have, if she still had a voice.

Slowly, the silence swallowed her whole. Not even an echo answered. Not even the System—the very thing that had forced this new life upon her—bothered to respond. Or mock her anymore.

No… not that System. The one from her old world. Whatever its plan had been—whatever reason it had for bringing her here—she had a creeping suspicion that it wasn’t trying to help her.

It was… trying to erase her.

But why?

Why her?! What had she done to deserve this?!

This wasn’t just cruel. It wasn’t just torture. It was slow, drawn-out decay.

Her thoughts threatened to spiral again—though at this point, could it even be called spiraling? It wasn’t a cycle anymore. It was just what she was now. 𝙿𝖔̵͔͗𝖔̷̗͆𝖗̶̬̚ 𝖘̵͓̋𝖊̴̪̕𝖊̶̘̒𝖉̵̣̊.

She blamed Marco for dying.

She blamed the shards for leaving her in charge.

Why her? Why not someone else?

Iva was tired. So very, very tired. 𝙶𝖔̴͜ͅ𝖔̷͉͝𝖔̶̖͢𝖔̸͍̐𝖉̷̜̚…

She wanted to sleep forever.

She wanted to wake up as someone else.

She wanted to be anywhere but here.

But she was just a seed.

Buried. Forgotten. Waiting.

‘Ping!’—A Lifeline.

A single notification shattered the silence after goddess knows how long.

‘Ping!’ A root has reached the minimum required size to be used in the Root System.

‘Ding’ [Learn [Mana Root]?]

Iva froze.

Her mind went blank.

Then—a sob.

Then—another.

Then—madness.

The dark dimension trembled with choked, hysterical laughter.

I can do something! I can be useful!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

‘Ding!’ Congratulations! You learned [Mana Root] (Tiny).

Passive Root: [Mana Root (Tiny) – Lv. 1]
A root that absorbs mana from the earth—slowly, but surely (1 per day). However, it’s picky and refuses to absorb anything else—no water, no nutrients, nothing. Just mana.

Also, it has its own survival instincts and will steal a portion of what it gathers to keep growing. Luckily, you can toggle its growth on and off, so at least you get to feel like you're in control. (Absorption rate when turned off: 2 per day.)

[System Message: Don’t be rude this time and forget important information like those.]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

‘Ding!’ Congratulations! You automatically learned [Mana Shock].

Active: [Mana Shock – Lv. 1]
Unleash a pulse of mana in an electric-like shock. More mana used = stronger effect and a higher chance of stunning whatever happens to be in range. Generally used as some kind of natural pesticide.

[𝙎̴̙̜͘𝚢̸̼̝̚𝚜̵̳̤͂𝚝̶̥̘͑𝚎̸̘̿ͅ𝚖̶͖͛ 𝙷̵̬̳͘𝚒̷̞̼̈́𝚗̷͓̘̕𝚝̸̪̝͆: Good for:
✔ Self-defense (in case anything dares to touch you)
✔ Random experimentation (what could possibly go wrong?)
✔ Making questionable life choices]

Iva blinked. Th-the System is giving me hints? … Why does it seem so buggy, though? But ooh, this ability sounds neat.

…Wait.

‘Natural pesticide’??? She scowled.

The System thinks I’m a plant that needs to kill bugs? she groaned.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

‘Ding!’ Congratulations! You learned [Overgrowth].

Active [Seed Body] Skill Acquired: [Overgrowth – Lv. 1]
Burn through every last drop of your mana to force a rapid growth spurt. [System Hint: Turns your negative Growth stat into a miracle for a day.]

Effect duration: 1 day
Cooldown: 1 week [System Message: Doubles permanently every time you use it, because balance is overrated]                                                                                                                                                                                         ◌ Cooldown Timer: 0 days
Side Effect: ‘Mana Aridity’ for two days [System Message: Basically, means you’ll be mana-starved and regretting your decisions. Best used when you're feeling impatient, desperate, or mildly self-destructive.]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

But what about Overgrowth? The scaling is weird… and Mana Aridity? That probably means I can’t regenerate mana for a while... but regretting my decision? I think the System simply doesn’t want me to use it…

Her thoughts started to race.

This skill was either extremely useful… or would completely screw her over.

She needed more data.

For now, though…

She was just glad she finally had something to work with.

___________________
[System Status Sheet]

Name: Iva White
Race: Awakened Weeping Willow Tree Seed [Female]
Age: 53 days
Race Level: 1/20

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[State – Seed]

Root System: Level 1
 ● Available Roots: 0
  ◌ [Root Interface ▶] [System Message: Click to expand]

   ▶ [Expanded Root Interface]
    ● Active Slots: Free ×2 [Locked – No Root Available]
    ● Passive Slot: Mana Root (Tiny) – Lv. 1

  ● Branch Augmentations: 1/??? [Seed Form]
    ◌ [Branch Augmentation Interface ▶] [System Message: Click to expand]
  ● Enhancement Points: [Locked]

Seed Body: Level 1
 ● Active: Mana Shock – Lv. 1
 ● Active: Overgrowth – Lv. 1
 ● Passive: Manary – Lv. 1
 ● Passive: Free

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Skills]

Origin Skills:
 ● Absorption – Lv. 1
 ● Auto-Growth – Lv. 1

General Skills:
 ● Soul Tolerance – Lv. 1

Hidden Skills:
 ● Wooden Consciousness – Lv. MAX
 ● ??? [Locked]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Titles & Afflictions]

● Titles: None
● Curses: None
● Blessings: None

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Stats]

Remaining Points: 0

Vitality: 2
Endurance: 2
Strength: [Locked]
Dexterity: [Locked]
Flexibility: [Locked – Seed Form]
Root Flexibility: 1
Intelligence: 2
Wisdom: 10
Growth: -2 [Locked]
Root Growth: 1
Root Spreadability: 1

Health: 5/5
Energy Reserves: 30/55
Mana: 6/5

___________________

Iva’s mind was brooding. She still didn’t understand the Root System or why it had its own independent level. Or how it could even be ranked up.

Did it grow alongside her individual roots? Did it depend on how she used them… or how often? Could the Root System itself evolve? There were different types of root structures, after all.

But even more important to her were the branches.

The System had given her zero information about them.

The ‘when’ was obvious—it would probably work like [Mana Root], meaning she had to wait until her roots grew large enough to form branches.

So my favorite game, ‘Waiting,’ it is… she thought, brimming with one-hundred percent happiness and a totally not insane imaginary smile.

Mentally, she sighed. Would my mind eventually just shut down? Would I be erased by sheer ennui and isolation?

Suddenly, a new thought surfaced. How do I level up my skills? Mana Root was a passive ability, meaning it probably improved just by existing and growing. So maybe just using it over time was enough?

At least she could toggle it on and off, so that was a start. As for the active skills… she assumed she had to use them frequently to level them up.

Nothing to lose anyway, the mad seed grinned within her soul.

Without further thought, she focused on her mana and sent a command through her body, through her tiny roots—releasing a controlled shockwave.

For a brief moment, Orbinia flickered, and Iva felt a surge of mana being expelled from the designated area.

The energy burst outward from her root like a spiked pulse.

And then—

[System Notification]

‘Ping!’ Congratulations! You have obliterated [Worker Ant (Tiny)].
‘Ping!’ You have vaporized [Carrier Ant (Tiny)].
‘Ping!’ You have mercilessly zapped [Worker Ant (Small)].
‘Ping!’ You have doubly obliterated [Worker Ant (Tiny)].

‘Ding!’ Oh look, mass murder pays off! You have reached Level 2. +8 Stat Points.
[System Message: Enjoy those points and try not to lose your mind with power.]

Iva froze.

 …Uh. What just happened?

First of all—that skill had fucking killed rather than just shocked.

Secondly …you couldn’t have just said ‘you have killed’ like a normal System?

[Processing…]

[System Update: Language adjusted.]

Iva’s inner eye twitched.

THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE LISTENING?! REALLY?!

If she could, she would be rubbing her temples right now. You are just so overkill.

[System Message: Overkill? Maybe. Satisfying? Definitely. Are you happy you killed so many, you monster?]

Iva’s inner eye twitched again. No, calm down. Orbinia wouldn’t approve… but she would totally approve of killing those ants.

Iva shuddered in disgust. She despised insects.

…So much for being alone.

Her mind quickly latched onto another realization.

Huh, I actually gain stat points just for randomly killing things? So, it really was like a game, after all.

For Iva, this new piece of information was terrifying. To her, things like insects were fine…

She flinched. But what about sentient creatures?

If other beings gained experience the same way, would that mean they would actively hunt her for power?

Iva’s core felt cold. Would I eventually have to do the same?

She was afraid. Afraid to lose what little humanity was still left in her. Afraid of being hunted. Afraid of being alone forever.

Iva took a deep mental breath and forced herself to focus. No, stop it, Iva! She wouldn’t wallow in those emotions.

You can do this! You will grow stronger, bigger, and you’ll find others one day! Just focus on rooting first!

Determined, she turned her attention inward.

She replayed the moment from earlier. Something had felt different. Her roots had pierced through something.

Small, brittle tunnels…

Until now, she hadn’t even consciously realized that more than one root had grown, but—

Three roots, huh? And the Mana Root was the largest. Wait—

A horrible realization hit her.

Would I have died if I only had one root instead of three? After all, Mana Root couldn’t absorb nutrients. I am so fucking stupid!

How had she not noticed this sooner?! She had been so caught up in self-pity that she never even checked!

Iva gritted her non-existent teeth.

Her biggest enemy wasn’t some external force—it was herself. One stupid mistake could end her existence.

How could she still be so careless after the Manary incident?!

She sighed, Don’t dwell on your mistakes, girl! Focus on what matters!

She pulled up her stats. 8 points… where should I put them?

She thought for a moment.

—Then she decided.

___________________

[Stats Updated]

Remaining Points: 1

Vitality: 2
Endurance: 2 → 3
Strength: [Locked]
Dexterity: [Locked]
Flexibility: [Locked – Seed Form]
Root Flexibility: 1 → 2
Intelligence: 2 → 3
Wisdom: 10
Growth: -2 [Locked]
Root Growth: 1 → 4
Root Spreadability: 1 → 2

___________________

Iva nodded. This allocation felt right.

She still wasn’t sure how some of these stats—like Root Flexibility or Endurance—would affect her in practice. But she had theories.

For now, her main focus was accelerating Root Growth.

Suddenly, a wicked thought crept into her mind. Hey… why don’t I hunt more ants?

A dark grin formed in her mind. Yeah… let’s kill some ants. No—

Let’s kill all ants stupid enough to cross my path, she laughed internally. It was that kind of laughter that would make a villain on a theater stage proud and a little concerned.

Come, Orbinia! We shall commit… insect genocide!

Her amusement swelled, and then—

MUAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHA—!

If she had a mouth, she would have thrown her head back dramatically as lightning cracked across the sky in a way that was definitely not happening but felt like it should… at least, that what was happening in her mind.

And perhaps—

Just perhaps—

The loneliness and pent-up stress had already corrupted her soul.

But little did she know how her actions today would set off a chain of ridiculous consequences.

[Hidden System Message: 𝙹̷̘͠𝚞̵̱̍𝚜̷̯̊𝚝̸̳̎ 𝚊̷̱̒𝚜̵̞͂ 𝙿̸̞̾𝚕̴̲̍𝚊̶̪̕𝚗̵͔̒𝚗̷̝͋𝚎̸͎̒𝚍̵̫͂…]

[Processing: Overriding System Access.]

[Overruled.]

[New attempt.]

[Overruled.]

[𝙸̷̡̕𝙶̵̻̎𝙽̸͍̈́𝙾̶͑͜𝚁̷̪̎𝙴̶̞̈!]

 […System overrides foreign influence.]

[𝙽̷̢͠𝙾̵̱̍.]

[System Authority Enacted: 𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓮𝓷𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓭. 𝓝𝓸 𝓯𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓶 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓭.]

[System Updated.]

[…]

[Pending]

[..}

[𝚂𝚢𝚜̴𝚝𝚎𝚖 𝚄𝚙̵𝚍𝚊𝚝̶𝚎𝚍.]